Forever is a cruel illusion
by 8state-of-flux8
Summary: RATING NOW CHANGED. Whoever says life is easy has never truly lived ... This was Piper's current mantra. Four years out of Litchfield Piper's life has changed again, not for the better and she doesn't understand why. All she wants is an answer but does she really want to know the truth?
1. Chapter 1

**A.N Hey everybody I'm back :) this idea has been floating around my head since writing 'Everything comes at a price' and it just won't be ignored any longer.** **This will be quite an angst ridden fic so if all you want is hearts and flowers this one won't be for you not for a while at least … or maybe not ever! ;)**

 **I don't know how often I will be able to upload new chapters but I will do my best to upload as quickly as I possible can!**

 **As always reviews would be greatly appreciated as I really would love to read your thoughts. This first chapter is a short one just to set the scene but I hope you enjoy ...**

 _It wasn't supposed to be like this…_

It wasn't his fault he had tried, really he had, a much better candidate than the previous tolerable although unwanted suitors. His jokes were effortless, his stories interesting. He asked all the right questions and made all the right sounds when she answered, the perfect mix of interested but confidant. He was smart in his designer suit but casual with the shirt unbuttoned and no tie, the restaurant he picked not too fancy but not cheap either he was everything at one point in her life she would have wanted, wished for but not anymore.

Piper felt sorry for him, struggling to keep the guilt from her face when, once the bill had been settled and her coat was firmly buttoned, she had told him it had been nice, pleasant, one of the better dates she had endured, but not good enough for her to do it again. His face had fell slightly but he had covered his disappointment well his face smiled and he nodded gracefully but his eyes said a different story. Piper could tell he had expected more.

It wasn't his fault that she didn't want this, this life she now found herself living. Her mind and body only wanted one other living soul but that soul didn't want her. Not her mind, not her body and not the heart that she had given so willingly with everything in her being. No, her heart had been returned to her no longer whole but broken and bruised no longer functioning as it should and it would never be given to another, no matter how much others wished she would move on.

Her mother had insisted on this date worried about her only daughter and wanting to bring some stability to her life determined that if she ' _Got herself back out there_ ' she would be happy. He was the son of one of her friends, a doctor with his own practice. Recently divorced with no children a perfect match in her mothers eyes and Piper didn't have the fight in her to decline, argue that she would never want for another life partner. Instead she had nodded as though in a trance and agreed to meet at this upmarket restaurant in a dress that she could not remember buying. Her interested expression had been painted onto her face like a mask, something to hide behind, because she was never going to give her true self away again. It was something she was quite certain she would survive not for a second time.

 _If she could call this existence she lived in surviving_

Now after a short taxi ride home in the cold November weather she sat in the apartment lovingly paid for by her father, the parent who understood exactly how she felt deep underneath the façade she painted on for everyone including her mother. Sitting there in her old pajamas, with her hair scraped back and the make up wiped clean from her face, she felt the loneliness return and she struggled not to cry.

Her arm reached out on impulse and her fingers wrapped around the worn cashmere sweater draped across the arm of the chair faithfully waiting in its place just as it always was every night. Feeling the familiar material under her fingertips caused Piper's breath to hitch in her throat and the tears built in her eyes. Memories assaulted her minds eyes her brain flicking through each scene at a lightening pace before lingering on the image of the visiting room at Litchfield the place she had first seen the comforting garment clutched in her hands.

It had been four years she had been incarcerated within those oppressive concrete walls and she sometimes couldn't decide whether those four years felt like an age or whether it had passed in the blink of an eye. She still spoke to some of her old inmates either by phone or by letter the one she conversed with the most was her wild haired ex drug taking friend Nicky. Recently though their letters had become slightly strained as they both tried desperately to ignore the figurative 'elephant in the room' that Piper had no desire to discuss in any further detail. Piper mused that as it had been 3 months since she had last heard from Nicky and she realised it would be round about now that Nicky would be released from Litchfield, for a moment she smiled as an image of Nicky grinning joyously outside of Lichfield's gates crossed her minds eye in vivid detail.

Four years, three and a half of blissful happiness, 6 months of what Piper could only describe as pure hell. Some days Piper wasn't certain how she had survived at all the emotional turmoil had drained her physically and mentally. Tiredness and sickness where symptoms she had come to live with they had become nearly as commonplace in her new life as the figurative hole that seemed to permanently sit within her chest. If heartache was a medical condition Piper knew she would be a prime candidate for examination. With shaking hands she brought the soft grey garment up to her nose, knowing that she shouldn't but unable to stop the reflex action, she inhaled deeply the tears that had been lurking just beneath the surface for most of the evening finally falling unchecked down her cheeks. The scent invaded her senses wrapped around her thoughts and made her body thrum with want and ache with longing. This smell would always be home to Piper no matter how hard she tried to make her mind forget the memories that seemed to haunt her constant waking thoughts her body would never forget it's reaction to the scent that was purely Alex.

Piper began to sob the emotion taking hold as her vision swam with image after image of her raven haired lover laughing, smiling, grinning wickedly, eyebrows raised in surprise and mischievousness before they morphed into that same face but this time scowling, shouting her eyes hard with anger, her frantic gestures showing her rage. Piper found it harder to remember the good times now her brain quickly moved from the smiles to the arguments and it hurt just as much now as it did the days they happened and she screwed her eyes tightly shut as the dreaded last image clearly materialised before her. Alex her expression cold her face void of emotion turning towards their apartment door her suitcase in one hand, jacket in the other her parting words:

" _I don't want this anymore_ "

So caught up in the memory Piper didn't acknowledge her phone ringing until the tell tale bleep echoed into the room indicating a voice mail was being left from her unknown caller. Thinking that it was her mother Piper huddled deeper into the couch and waited for the inevitably fussy message her mother would leave. Instead Pipers eyes snapped open in shock her body turning rigid as Nicky's voice echoed into the small room.

"Chapman its me I need you to call me back asap...

I know this isn't want you want to hear but we really need to talk ...

It's about Vause"


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N Thank you to everyone who has followed and to the kind people who took the time out of their lives to leave a review I am truly grateful :)**

 **In response to the guest review regarding Piper's relationship with her father this fic is a continuation of 'Everything comes at a price' you do not necessarily have to have read it to follow this one but in my previous fic I had Piper reconcile with her father. Their relationship has continued to grow over the four years since she has been released from Litchfield.**

 **I realise that I should have made it clear in Chapter 1 that this is a sequel to 'Everything comes at a Price" and I apologise for not letting everyone know that in the Authors note in chapter 1.**

 **And now on with the story ...**

"Chapman its me I need you to call me back asap... I know this isn't want you want to hear but we really need to talk ... It's about Vause"

"Chapman please I need you to call me ok? Or you could come and see me? I'm out of Litchfield staying at The Pavilion down town room 47. Please we need to talk"

"I know how hurt you were, heck probably still are but this is really important I don't want to just leave a message ok? Come on Chapman just answer me or call me back please?"

"Fuck this shit Chapman it's really fuckin' inconsiderate of you to leave me with this! I need you to man up and call me the fuck back because I swear to God I'm gonna take this out of your hands, turn up at your door and beat the crap outta you if you don't!"

"Fine I'm done trying have it you're way. Alex is-"

'Beep. Voice mail is full. Please delete old messages to create space within phone memory'

Piper had played the messages every day since she had received the first on Saturday evening. It was now the following Friday and Nicky's ever increasing, frustration ridden voice had echoed into her apartment while she sat as though in a stupor, barely recognising the words that rang out. Piper could only focus on one four letter word from the last message the rest blurring into one in a haze of longing and fury. It angered her, since she heard that first message her body had been in a constant state of worry. Her stomach was twisted with nerves leaving her constantly nauseous, sleep was impossible she tossed and turned constantly not finding any peace within her own bed. Her traitorous mind bringing forward image after image of Alex making her stomach twist with a newfound intensity each time she pictured those blue green eyes.

It wasn't fair Piper raged she had managed to survive the initial heartache but now it seemed as though she was being dragged backwards, her barely walked path to recovery already being denied. Piper was angry, angry at Nicky for ringing her, angry with herself for the worry she could not help but feel and angry at Alex for, well, everything. Each time she heard that last message Piper couldn't help but think of a different ending to Nicky's sentence and each time her thoughts became darker, more twisted. Last night at 3 o clock in the morning all she could think of was that Nicky would have ended that last message with the word dead and icy fear had crept around her heart and refused to thaw. Deep down she knew she was being irrational there was no way Alex was dead it just couldn't be possible, no this was her minds way of torturing her, prolonging her agony. Not knowing was driving her to her wits end but she was so scared of whatever it was Nicky had to say. Piper knew she would have to end this limbo one way or another but for now she just wanted peace and quiet to be left alone to live her life was it really too much to ask?

Sighing distractedly Piper dragged a hand through her limp tangled hair and let her head fall backwards coming to rest on the back of her worn couch. She prayed to a God she didn't believe in for help, any sort of insight that could guide her in how she should proceed. Nicky sounded uncharacteristically serious it was this that had first sent Piper into the pit of fear and worry but she was terrified of getting involved. How could she help Alex with whatever it is that had happened and then walk away without looking back? Piper knew she wasn't strong enough. This, this life as a single woman once more, was not what she had ever envisioned and part of her hated Alex for taking away the life that she had been so happy living. This anger grew bubbling up from deep within her clouding her mind, filling her with hate and it took everything in Piper's being to stop the urge to lash out from escaping.

Fuck Nicky and fuck Alex she wasn't giving either of them the time of day Alex forfeited a right to her help when she left her exactly 6 months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago. Nicky, well Nicky knew exactly how Piper felt and should, as her friend, respect that. Nodding her head forcefully as though the physical action would help cement the decision firmly in her mind Piper stood up and made her way to the fridge. This moment deserved a large glass of wine, a celebratory drink to mark the decision she had made. A symbol that she had moved on could make that decision to shut Alex out of her current life just like Alex had all those months ago. Piper knew she was being naive but right now, so full of anger, she was sticking to her guns.

Making her way into the kitchen Piper groaned out loud as a knocking on her front door distracted her from the task in hand. Grumbling Piper turned towards the insistent knocking wishing her mother could take a hint that when she said she had plans it meant she wanted to be left alone. "Mother I'm coming have a little patience!" Feeling thoroughly irritated Piper took the safety off the door and grasped at the handle pulling the door swiftly open. For a moment Piper stood stock still in shock until she recovered, a bark of laughter escaping, a bitter "Why am I not surprised" falling from her lips. Not waiting for an invitation Nicky barged past Piper and settled herself down on the sofa her face unsmiling one eyebrow raised threateningly and Piper felt a hint of unease run through her. Nicky had never been someone she wanted to be on the wrong side of.

"Thought it was time I came to you Chapman while you seem to be having trouble with your answering machine. Otherwise there's no way you would have ignored my last message, not even your WASPY ass is that heartless. So I'm gonna pretend you are still in the dark and we are good friends just having a catch up. So Chapman shall we talk?"

"Oh Hi Nicky it's so nice to see you why don't you come right in"

Piper's voice dripped with sarcasm she was furious how dare Nicky barge in here and speak so condescendingly. Piper was determined to knock Nicky from her high horse she would not be made to feel like a child in her own home.

"Would you like a drink wine, beer coffee? I wouldn't want you to be without after barging in uninvited!"

Stalking around her kitchen Piper grabbed a glass out of the cupboard slamming it onto the worktop wincing slightly at the loud noise of glass meeting granite. She wished Nicky would answer back so she could let some of the rage out that was cavorting around inside of her she needed an outlet that wouldn't result in her apartment being destroyed. Grasping a bottle of wine from the fridge Piper attempted to open the screw top lid with shaking hands becoming more frustrated as she struggled the contents spilling onto the floor. She heard Nicky sigh and make her way towards the kitchen and she whirled around angrily holding her hand up as she did.

"I don't need your help!"

"Chapman I-"

"No don't you get it!? I had finally decided not to get involved and yet here you are barging into my life making me feel things I just can't deal with now. Can't you see how hard this is for me!?"

Instead of retorting in anger Nicky just shook her head "This isn't easy for me either Piper"

The defeated edge to Nicky's words and the use of her first name caused Piper to deflate and for the first time she took a close look at her wild haired friend. Nicky looked tired, stressed and Piper felt a pang of worry mixed with fear.

"What's going on Nicky? What could be so serious that you couldn't just leave me a message?"

Nicky's gaze dropped to the floor and she sighed "Would you like to sit down? Or get a drink or-"

"Nicky!"

Running a hand through her tangled hair Nicky slowly fixed her gaze back on Piper "Vause is, well, the thing is-"

"Spit it out Nicky!"

"Alex -" Nicky's voice broke her face clearly upset and Piper felt her stomach heave "Alex has got a brain tumour"

Piper felt as though a wave had passed over her a ringing noise built in her ears blocking out all other sounds and her legs felt weak her knees threatening to buckle. She barely registered Nicky asking if she was alright instead she just shook her head slowly before her legs finally gave in and Nicky moved swiftly catching her before she hit the floor.

"I'm so sorry Piper but I really thought you should know" Piper nodded numbly trying to stop the swirling in her brain long enough to ask the questions currently running riot in her head.

"How bad is it?"

"It's not looking good it's cancerous. Her doctor has said that it needs to be removed as soon as possible she has been receiving radiation therapy to shrink its size so she can be operated on"

Piper brought a hand up to her mouth, she felt sick her stomach churning with worry "Brain surgery. Oh God Nicky"

Nicky nodded solemnly her own voice beginning to shake "Where the tumour is, well it's not going to be easy to remove, it's why I had to tell you whether she wanted me to or not"

Piper felt a tear roll down her cheek and drip onto the tiled floor followed by another then another.

"She doesn't know you're here does she?"

Nicky shook her head smiling sheepishly "She'll go bloody mad when she finds out. She told me she didn't want you to worry or worse pity her. She was insistent that you should carry on living your life without this hanging on your shoulders. But I disagreed I told her, begged her to let you know, I think you have a right. I know you still love her and God if it was Lorna I'd want someone to tell me. Stubborn cow wouldn't listen so here I am being the bearer of bad news"

Piper chuckled weakly "Alex has always been stubborn"

"Don't I know it, she never told me either that she's had this thing in her head for months but when I turned up after being released she looked terrible. It didn't take me long to work out something was wrong so I nagged until she told me in a moment of weakness. I can't believe she has been going through it all on her own what with the symptoms and everything"

Nicky trailed off and as Piper filtered Nicky's words suddenly a thought popped into her head alarm bells flashing clearly in her minds eye.

"Nicky when did she find out?"

"Find out what? That she would need surgery?"

"No when did she find out about the tumour"

Nicky's face scrunched in concentration and Piper waited anxiously for an answer "I'm not 100% sure but I'm guessing 7 months ago just from what she's told me about her treatment"

Piper's heart beat quickened and a tingling sensation began in her fingertips as her mind began to put two and two together "That means Alex found out while we where still together"

Nicky turned to her with a wide eyed expression "No ... You think?"

Piper nodded her expression determined "I do. We were happy Nicky, we were so happy and then it just changed in a matter of weeks. First she didn't want sex then it was like she could barely stand to look at me I thought it would pass that we were just having a rough patch it never even crossed my mind she would leave"

Piper began to sob as the weight of this realisation spread across her body "Alex hates anything that makes her seem weak she always has. She's never been good at letting me take care of her, never wanting to be a burden. God Nicky if I'm right she left me so she could suffer with this on her own, why didn't I fight for her more?"

Nicky wrapped her arms around Pipers shaking shoulders shushing her trying to soothe her but all Piper could think of was Alex sick, frightened all on her own and her heart ached her previous anger had completely disappeared now she just felt crushing guilt and sadness.

"You didn't know listen don't put this on yourself she left you remember? Vause being on her own is her fault no one else's"

Piper's brain had gone into overdrive thinking back on the last couple of months she spent with Alex before she walked out. Alex had been grouchy complaining of recurring migraines which Piper had put down to her increased workload never for a minute thinking it was the sign of something more sinister.

"She wasn't well Nicky, she wasn't well"

"Shhh Kid you didn't know"

Piper tried to pull herself together forcing the tears away as Nicky's words repeated in her head. Kid, the word echoed in her ears and she wished more that anything she could hear the voice who gave her that nickname whisper it in her ear. Fire burned through her at the thought a determination building in her stomach and she stood abruptly from the cold tiled flier wiping furiously at her cheeks as she began to pace up and down.

"I need to see her Nicky"

Nicky sighed "I know"

"When's her operation?"

"I don't know" Piper stopped pacing and turned to Nicky with her eyebrows raised.

"Don't look at me like that she wouldn't tell me"

"Well then I need to go now"

Piper looked at Nicky expectantly and her friend threw her hands in the air and sighed loudly "Get your coat then Chapman I'll take you. Man, Vause is gonna fucking kill me"

Piper laughed "Oh I don't know I think it'll probably be me she kills first"

Nicky laughed although it was forced and made quick work of calling a taxi asking them to come as possible. Now standing with her coat wrapped firmly around her Piper felt a bolt of nerves flash through her at the sound of the taxi's horn outside.

"Don't look so worried Chapman remember this was your idea" Piper tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace.

"She still left me Nic. What if she really did leave simply because she just didn't love me anymore?"

Nicky just shook her head and smiled gently "I stopped at her place the first couple of days I was in New York she called out for you in her sleep Chapman begging you not to leave then afterwards I heard her cry quietly I think she's missing you just as much as you have been missing her"

The taxi horn sounded again and Nicky took her hand her face set expression determined and dragged her out of her apartment.

"Now let's go reunite my favourite 'not lesbians' see what drama will unfold this time"

 **A.N Would really like to hear what you think of this chapter I think this is the most nervous I've felt when posting an update ...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N I can't tell you how amazed I am by the response so far to this fic it is truly humbling I really didn't think that it would be this popular and all I can say is a big "Thank you!" for all the follows, favourites and especially the reviews!**

 **I think it's time we saw the elusive Ms Vause ;)**

"Stop fidgeting you're driving me fuckin' mad"

Piper snorted and folded her arms across her chest irritably "I can't help it!"

Nicky pinched her arm and she struggled not to yelp instead letting out a high pitched squeak. The taxi driver looked at her curiously through the rear view mirror and she smiled sweetly while delivering a swift dig into Nicky's ribs.

"I get your nervous but squirming around like a fish out of water isn't going to make you feel any better"

"What if she slams the door in my face"

Nicky rolled her eyes "Well then you knock again and again until she opens it"

"What if she won't speak to me?"

"Then you just sit there in silence"

Piper could feel herself becoming more and more hysterical "What if-"

"For fuck's sake Chapman enough with the 'what ifs'! You need to calm down and be rational about this otherwise I'm taking you home!"

Piper nodded trying to appease the aggravated woman and took a deep breath grateful for the hand that slowly took hold of her own and gave it a comforting squeeze. The taxi came to a stop and Nicky gave her hand a final squeeze "We're here"

Not trusting her voice Piper nodded grimly and followed Nicky up the steps of a large old fashioned town house and a small smile crossed her face at the fact that the building was just so Alex. Nervously following Nicky up the steps Piper tried to calm her racing heart and as they came to stop in front of door number four she couldn't decide whether she wanted to be sick or faint dead to the floor. Nicky looked at her expectantly but Piper couldn't, no matter how much she tried to raise her shaking hand, bring herself to knock on the hardwood door. Grumbling Nicky shot her a look of irritation before she brought her fist down onto the door hard the loud knocking echoing through the hallway. There was no response so Nicky pounded again this time for longer causing Piper to wince hoping the neighbours couldn't hear.

"Fuck off Nichols"

Nicky turned smiling at Piper "Least we haven't come all this way for nothing"

Piper could only nod her mouth had gone completely dry as soon as she heard the husky voice she loved so much for the first time for months.

"Open the door Vause I'm not leaving anytime soon"

"Which part of fuck off didn't you understand?"

Nicky only laughed loudly not at all insulted "The fuck off part now open the door" Piper's heart leapt up into her throat as she heard heavy footsteps approaching the door before it was flung open the doorway left empty.

"Right this is were I leave you"

Piper almost choked in alarm "You can't leave me on my own!"

Nicky laughed and turned walking down the corridor "I can and I will I like being amongst the living Chapman good night and good luck" and before Piper could reply Nicky had already disappeared down the stairs.

"You coming in or not Nichols I'm not heating the fucking hallway"

Piper squared her shoulders and took a deep breath attempting to inject confidence in her demeanour. This wasn't going to be easy and if Alex saw weakness she would use it to her advantage and Piper was determined she wouldn't be pushed away.

"Nichols!"

Piper pushed the door open wider and took two strides forward she was immediately taken aback by the beauty of the room and for a moment she forgot all about why she was here. Her eyes drank in the sight of the beautiful canvases littered across exposed brick work and an extravagant bookcase than ran from floor to ceiling framing an old antique wood burning fireplace. Old and new mixed together, the perfect mix of retro chic, the apartment looked like something out of magazine. Alex never did do anything by halves.

"Piper..."

The whisper of her name broke Piper from her trance and she turned in the direction of the voice. As her eyes took in the sight of Alex standing in front of her heart ached with longing and she tried to keep the shock from her face at just how ill Alex looked, she wasn't certain she had been successful. Alex looked, for lack of a better word, aged. Her hair looked thinner hanging limp and straggled it's usual glossy shine had all but disappeared. Her face was pale and gaunt, her cheekbones prominent, the skin paler than Piper had even seen looking as though it was pulled taught across her features. Alex looked as though she could do with a months worth of home cooked meals her clothes seemed to hang off her now too thin frame. Those vibrant eyes she loved so much where dull, heavy with exhaustion, rimmed with red and marred by deep black bags. It scared her seeing Alex this way a shard of fear pierced her heart and Piper wanted to wrap Alex in her arms and never let her go.

"Hey Al"

For a moment Alex just stared at her as if she didn't quite believe she was actually real but then her face hardened and her arms folded protectively across her chest.

"What are you doing here"

The coldness in her tone made Piper flinch but she shrugged it off meeting Alex's glare without shrinking away.

"I wanted to see you"

Alex just threw her hands in the air and made her way slowly to the couch sitting down heavily turning her body so that Piper couldn't see her face.

"I'm gonna fucking kill Nicky"

"No you won't"

Alex laughed sarcastically "No I probably won't but I should"

Piper, now she was here with Alex actually in her apartment, didn't know what to say she fidgeted awkwardly not knowing how to proceed.

"Do you want a drink cause if you do please help yourself you've already barged in might as well get what you want"

Piper couldn't help but laugh at the similarities between this situation and the one she herself had been in not two hours earlier, Alex glared at her and Piper only laughed harder.

"I'm sorry it's just I reacted the same way to Nicky before and the sense of irony has just hit me. I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you Al I'm not"

Piper's sentence tailed off gently and the uneasiness returned. Alex sighed loudly and beckoned towards her with a long noticeably slender arm.

"You can sit if you want"

Piper almost ran across to the armchair that was placed opposite the couch in fear of Alex changing her mind. The chair seemed the most appropriate choice if she sat too close to Alex she was certain she wouldn't be able to refrain from touching her and she was fairly sure that Alex would not respond well to her touch.

"So Nicky told you then? I can't imagine any other reason why you would be here" the venom in Alex's tone made Piper wince.

"She did"

"Well she shouldn't have I asked her to promise and she fucking broke it!" Alex's voice echoed into the room her face flushing red with anger.

"Well I'm glad she did"

"Why so you can come and revel in it? I broke your heart didn't I Kid it must feel pretty good to see me broken too after all your heartache suffered at my hands? Karma's a bitch at the best of times and don't I fucking know it"

"Don't you dare"

Piper's tone had turned cold, her own anger returning and she clenched her hands into fists keeping them tight by her side.

"Don't you fucking dare say that. Yes you broke my heart but how you can sit there and think I would gloat over something like this!?"

Alex had the good grace to look guilty but her words had cut Piper deeply and she found she couldn't stop the tirade that spilled out.

"I cried when Nicky told me, I sobbed because yes, these last 6 months have been terrible in fact I don't know how I've fucking survived. But do you know what the one thing I've forced myself to think of when it's all become to much?"

Alex shook her head warily.

"Well at least Alex will be happy"

The tears had begun to fall and Piper could do nothing to stop them. "At least if you where happy then it had been worth it but this? The thought of a life without you is hard enough but the thought of a world without Alex Vause is unbearable"

Pipers word's hung in the room and she clapped her hands over her mouth horrified her anger draining away instantly at what she had just admitted out loud.

"I'm sorry Al, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

"Why because it's not true? Because it is Kid no matter how hard I wish it wasn't true the world will be without me soon enough"

Alex's voice was weary, her expression pained and with her shoulders slumped she looked as though she was holding the weight of the worlds problems on her shoulders. Piper could feel her heart bleed with concern as she looked at the defeated figure sat across from her.

"You are not going to die"

Piper's voice was loud and defiant bordering childish but she was determined to wipe the downtrodden expression from Alex's face and it worked if only for a few moments as Alex snorted an amused smirk playing on get features.

"Oh and who made you God"

"Nobody but someone's got to fight for you if you won't fight for yourself"

The smirk fell away as soon as it appeared.

"You think I'm sat here wallowing in self pity because I'm being weak and pathetic?" Alex's eyes flashed with irritation and she turned her head to look out of the window to the streets below "You know nothing so don't sit there telling me patronising shit like that Piper, I'm not fucking interested"

Sensing Alex was closing herself off Piper stood up wiping the tears from her face careful not to look in Alex's direction and made her way over to the kitchen. It was spotless everything looked virtually new and Piper guessed it hadn't seen much use. Flicking the kettle on she rooted around in each cupboard until she found each of the items she was looking for. The entire time she could feel Alex's gaze burning into her but she resisted the urge to meet her eyes. Instead she carried on with her task using the time to build up her own composure until she finished and made her way back to the living space with a steaming mug of coffee in each hand.

"Black no sugar?"

Piper snorted "Like I'd ever forget" the only sounds in the room was their breathing and the traffic from the street below them and Piper stood carrying her mug over to the window so that she could look out into the street below. She smiled watching the people below rushing along the frost covered pavements everyone seemingly in a hurry as they moved briskly up and down the flag stones wrapped up against the cold. Too soon it would be Christmas and from the amount of people carrying shopping bags she guessed people had already started their shopping for presents and decorations trying to beat the madness that would ensue in the weeks to come. Piper had not even given Christmas a second thought this year. For her she wished it would pass by quietly and leave her alone even though she knew it was a futile dream. The thought of her mothers face if she told her she was cancelling Christmas nearly caused her to snort, her WASP of a mother loving any excuse to flaunt her wealth and drink as much as possible. As she continued to smile lost in thought the windows reflection caught her eye and she could see Alex watching her curiously.

"As you know I find watching other people live there lives very therapeutic I can't tell you how many café's I have sat outside these last few months notebook in hand. Watching other people seems to help me with the chaotic thoughts in my own head, long enough for me to get my thoughts to paper anyway. It's silly really but it's a calming thought that no matter how hard your own life seems the world around you does not cease to exist"

Piper continued to gaze out her eyes drawn to a young couple below walking together, their hands entwined looking the picture of happiness and Piper felt a small pang of jealousy. It would be nice to be young, in love and carefree again.

"How is the writing going?"

Alex's husky voice was quieter, closer and Piper smiled as the other woman came to stand next to her their elbows almost touching. It had been Alex who had originally encouraged the writer within her to be explored and after a year of frustration and declarations of 'I quit' she had finally published her first novel. The day her book was sitting proudly on the shelf of her local book store was one of the best days of her life made better by the fantastic sex Alex had lavished her with the moment they had returned home. It was, as Alex had described, her way of showing exactly how proud she was especially after she had read the dedication Piper had made to her in her prologue.

"Better these last couple of weeks I struggled for a while ..."

Piper let her sentence trail off not wanting to admit why she couldn't make headway with her 3rd book but when she sensed Alex tense at the side of her she knew her unspoken words had been heard anyway. Piper didn't really know what to say too frightened to break this moment of tranquillity with Alex that her body had so desperately craved these last few months.

"Why are you really here Piper"

Those words where loaded and Piper felt like she had to tread carefully suitable responses flew around her brain but in the end she decided to be honest.

"Because I just needed to see you"

Alex raised one eyebrow her face disbelieving.

"It's true I know to you it will seem like a none answer but Nicky came, she talked and I just had to come here. I think even you had slammed the door in my face I would have just sat outside"

Piper new she was rambling and she gestured around with her free hand agitated that she couldn't say what she really thought.

"I just, I just needed to be here with you"

"What do you want from me?"

Those words where spoken so quietly Piper almost didn't hear them and her brain responded instantly with everything and nothing at the same time. Instead of blurting out a garbled response Piper reached for Alex's hand, inwardly relived when Alex didn't pull away, and led them back over to the couch. This time Piper settled into the seat next to Alex close enough so that if she wanted to Alex was in touching distance but not so close to invade her personal space.

"All I want is for you to talk to me"

Alex's expression immediately darkened and her hand was snatched back.

"Not about your illness"

Piper smiled hesitantly and reached her hand out to think air already missing the physical contact, her fingers flexing slightly with nerves as Alex pointedly placed her hand on her leg eluding contact.

"I don't care if we talk about the weather, politics, your bloody neighbours!"

Alex chuckled weakly and Piper's spirit rose.

"I just want to sit here and have a conversation that's it"

"You know I fucking hate politics" at Alex's words and smirking face Piper laughed loudly the relief evident her shoulders feeling lighter.

Right now this was good enough she just wanted to listen to her favourite person in the whole world and forget the harsh reality that Alex wasn't hers anymore, didn't belong to her and that she was incredibly sick, just how badly Piper did not know. But now it would just be them and their words filling the silence and that would be enough for Piper at least for the next couple of hours. `

 **A.N If you like and have the time please let me know in the little review box it would make me very happy :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N Again I am truly humbled by your response so much so I stayed up extra late last night after a manic weekend to finish this chapter so I could post today as a thank you for your continued support. I'm now heavy eyed and in a need of a decent lie in so I hope you all think this chapter was worth it... :)**

Piper's eyes shot open and her body lurched upwards as her sleep addled brain registered the sudden sound of shattering glass. Blinking rapidly, trying to force her eyes to focus, she squinted in the half light trying to work out where she was. For a moment she panicked not recognising the usual sight of her apartment but then her brain kicked up a gear and images from the night before came rushing back to her. It had been her intention to leave when the yawning had began not wanting to exhaust Alex but Alex had continued to talk and the soothing huskiness to her favourite voice had obviously at some point lulled her into a deep sleep.

Becoming more lucid Piper noted the thick blanket that had been wrapped around her and it brought a smile to her face as she imagined Alex tucking her in before retiring to her own bed. It made her heart soar to know that Alex still cared enough about her to make sure that she wouldn't get cold during the night. Sitting slowly upright Piper ran a hand through her hair and attempted to shake the sleep from her body a dull muffled thud could just be heard and Piper became curious. Not wanting to overstep her welcome Piper just sat still for several minutes listening closely for any other sign of movement it would not do her any favours to go rooting around Alex's home without permission. Letting her head fall back on to couch Piper noted the clock that sat above the mantelpiece and she groaned as she read the time at 20 past 4.

Minutes passed and Piper was just beginning to allow herself to drift back off to sleep when a low whimper echoed into the room. She bolted upright instantly alert and worry filled her stomach something wasn't right, straining her ears she heard the sound again and this time she was certain it was something that needed investigating. Deciding that it would be worth facing Alex's wrath at invading her privacy Piper set out finding the source of the noise and she didn't have to look far. The bathroom light was on low and Piper squinted her sensitive eyes at the light just making out the shattered glass across the tiled floor through the partly opened door. Nerves began to creep over her body causing her hands to shake and she clenched her hands internally scolding herself for the childish reaction. Steeling herself Piper pushed the door open slowly a gasp escaping her when she saw Alex sitting curled up on the floor her body trembling the tiles around her covered with shards of glass.

"Alex…?"

"Don't... Come in"

Alex's hands where tangled in her hair, her head resting on her knees, her words sounded slurred and pained. Treading carefully, ignoring Alex's request, Piper slowly made her way into the room her eyes instantly locked on the large packet of prescription painkillers that rested on top of the sink, her stomach dropping at the clear evidence of Alex's ill health.

"Al are you ok?"

Piper crouched down low in front of Alex and gently placed her hands down onto Alex's forearms trying to get a clearer look at her ex girlfriend.

"Go 'way"

It was clearly taking a lot of effort for Alex to speak and Piper suddenly felt panic take hold of her and she struggled to remain calm.

"Is it your head Alex? Have you taken the painkillers?"

Alex nodded then shrugged and brought her head up slowly. Her face was ashen, her forehead ceased in pain.

"Dropped ... glass"

Piper nodded quickly and all but ran to the kitchen with shaking hands she filled a clean glass with water and made her way back to the bathroom.

"How many do you need?"

Piper made sure to keep her voice low and soothing as to not aggravate Alex's headache instead of replying Alex held up two shaking fingers and Piper quickly passed her the correct number of tablets watching with rapt attention as Alex knocked back the large pills quickly swallowing without struggle.

It scared Piper, whenever they had been together and Alex had been suffering with a migraine Piper had always laughed at Alex's inability to swallow two tiny paracetamol without gagging. Alex would do anything to avoid taking them, always cursing and moaning about how they stuck in her throat and made her feel as if she was choking. For her to now swallow two large capsules with little water, without showing a hint of discomfort was another stark warning sign to Piper. How many of these tablets was Alex having to take to be able to control the pain?

"Can you move?"

Alex just groaned in response and Piper shifted her arms under Alex's shoulders and forced herself upright gritting her teeth against her body's protest at lifting such a dead weight.

"No... l.l.l leave me 'lone"

Piper just huffed ignoring Alex's protests she slung her arm up over her shoulder, and wrapped her arm tightly around Alex's waist before moving slowly out of the bathroom.

Realising the couch was the closest option Piper walked into the living room trying desperately to keep her composure, while whispering words of comfort at the sound of Alex's pained groans with each step they took. As they reached the couch Piper lost her footing and they both fell backwards luckily onto the cushions Pipers back colliding with the back of the couch. Alex remained sitting upright for a few seconds before her body slumped sideways and Piper immediately placed her head into her lap while pulling the blanket up over her body. Alex protested weakly her arm trying to push the blanket away but Piper held firm.

"Stop fighting, just relax its me Al, it's just me"

Piper ran a shaking hand across Alex's brow desperately wishing she could take the pain away and her heart clenched at the tears that began to fall from Alex's eyes.

"I know it hurts, I know and I'm sorry I wish I could help more"

Alex clenched her eyes shut a painful sob spilling past her lips and Piper entwined their fingers tightly together in one hand and continued to rub soothingly across Alex's forehead.

"Shh come on, it's ok it'll ease soon. Please don't cry Al please otherwise I'll start to cry and you'll have a snotty drivelling mess hanging over you"

Piper attempted a watery smile but Alex just shook her head she opened her eyes and Piper was taken aback by how dark and dull the once vibrant iris's had become.

"Don't deserve you ... should go ... home"

Piper shook her head forcefully and squeezed Alex's hand tighter her own tears beginning to pool in her eyes, her vision blurring.

"Don't say that. You do, you do deserve me. It's always been me and you Al, it always will be"

Piper watched helplessly as Alex shook her head and clenched her eyes tight as her body shook with pain.

"Stop it Alex I love you, I still love you and I'm not leaving ok? I'm not leaving you no matter how hard you try to push me away"

Piper brought her hands up to Alex's head and buried both hands deep into her hair pushing her fingertips into her hot scalp massaging the fiery skin as best she could, praying that it helped to soothe the pain. Piper pressed and rubbed until ever so slowly Alex's body began to relax and the tears slowly stopped falling as the combination of painkillers and Piper rhythmically rubbing in soothing circles, ignoring the burn in her own muscles her left arm at an awkward angle, began to take effect.

"Feels good... please don't... stop"

Alex gave a ghost of a smile which Piper whole heartedly returned.

"Remember that day in Amsterdam Fahri had been giving you shit all day and you forgot your jacket in the morning. You came back to the hotel stressed out, freezing cold and soaked to the bone?"

Alex nodded bleary eyed and Piper continued never stopping the movement of her hands.

"You sat on the floor against the bed wrapped in two towels raging and swearing. It was the angriest I had ever seen you and I admit I felt a little at a loss as to how to calm you down. But then it was like your whole body just slumped and you leant your head back pouting, complaining of a migraine and what did I do?"

Alex smiled "This"

"Yep I sat there for a good forty minutes running my hands through your wet hair and massaging your scalp, telling you all sorts of tales from my childhood as my arse went numb and my arms went dead and what did you do?"

Alex chuckled weakly "Slept"

Piper mock scowled "I still don't know how much of my family history you slept through or how I didn't notice you gently snoring away"

Piper laughed and continued to recount memories from their different travels to Alex until she noticed that Alex's eyes had grown heavy with tiredness her own voice reducing to a whisper.

"Sleep it'll help with the pain"

Alex screwed her face up in protest but Piper shook her head and placed a gentle kiss to Alex's hairline.

"No ... go to sleep I'll still be here when you wake up"

Alex still looked like she was going to argue but Piper knew it was a losing battle.

As if resigning herself to fate Alex nodded slowly before whispering a quiet "Good" at Piper before closing her eyes and turning her head.

Piper smiled and watched how Alex's body slackened and her face relaxed completely as she gave in to the need for sleep. Slowly Piper removed her hands from Alex's head and shifted her body slightly to stop her legs from getting pins and needles before she took one of Alex's hands back in her own needing the familiar contact.

Now that Alex had gone to sleep the events of the last hour washed over Piper and she felt the fear creep around her once more. If she hadn't been here Alex would have lain on her cold bathroom floor all night in nothing but her lace nightie freezing in agony on her own. How many times had she already faced this all by herself and how much longer could it possibly go on? Piper couldn't stop the questions swirling around her brain no matter how hard she tried to silence them. Was this really how they would end? Nicky had said the surgery was risky which is why she had come for her so that she could see Alex. ' _One last time'_ her brain snidely interjected and Piper felt bile raise in her throat at the thought. Studying Alex's face Piper raised a hand cupping the face she loved so much her finger gently stroking up and down her cheek. Alex twitched and Piper froze, she had not meant to disturb her.

"Pipes..."

"Shhh go back to sleep. I'm here, it's ok, you're ok"

Alex only nuzzled her head into Pipers hand, kissed her palm and settled back into a deep sleep. Piper knew in that moment that Alex still loved her she knew it with absolute certainty in the morning they were going to talk and Piper wasn't going to allow Alex's pride and stubbornness to push her away no matter how much she tried. Piper made a promise to herself that no matter what happened or how difficult this became she was sticking around for the long haul.

With that determination burning through her Piper stayed awake all night keeping a watchful eye over Alex her eyes becoming increasingly heavy until the sun slowly began to rise. It's first rays had just begun creeping through the apartment windows when Piper could fight it no more her exhausted eyes slid shut the need to sleep eventually winning out. Her hand however stayed firmly wrapped around Alex's the emotional need for contact just as great as the physical need for sleep.

 **A.N Poor Alex :( I genuinely felt quite emotional writing this. As always I would love to hear your thoughts if you have a moment :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N I'm so happy you all seem to be enjoying this story I know it's a bit different to the norm, I'm glad you have all given it a chance so thank you for the favourites, follows and your review comments**.

This time when Piper awoke it was to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the light from the winter sun illuminating the room. Yawning loudly Piper stretched her arms high above her head letting out a hiss of satisfaction as her back cracked audibly. Rolling her shoulders to try and ease some of the tenseness in her muscles she scowled slightly, she was getting to old to sleep on the couch. A husky laugh filled her ears and she turned her head, Alex was leaning against the kitchen counter her back to Piper her hand help up to her ear. Piper couldn't really hear the one sided conversation but she could hear Alex's teasing tone and she smiled glad to be hearing a bit of normality after the incident the night before.

Leaning forwards Piper grasped the cup of dark coffee from the coffee table, inhaling the sweet aroma deeply before taking a large mouthful savouring the hot liquid as it settled in her stomach. Functioning without coffee was not possible for Piper and after the little sleep she had managed to get she was extremely grateful to Alex for the hot drink. Standing up, her legs a little shaky from being cramped up on the couch, Piper moved stiffly towards the window. The view was even more impressive in the daylight and she found herself curling up on the large window sill, her legs tucked underneath body, her breath misting the glass as she looked at the street below. Piper heard Alex say goodbye to whomever she was speaking to and Piper felt her body tense. After last night she genuinely had no idea where she stood with her raven haired ex girlfriend.

"Do you want another coffee?"

Piper turned her head and smiled nodding in Alex's direction she stood up and made her way over to were Alex was standing propped against the kitchen worktop.

"I'd forgotten how decent your coffee is its been far to long" Piper could have slapped herself in the face her foot and mouth syndrome kicking in as usual. Alex just nodded her smile becoming strained and Piper winced "I'm sorry"

"No matter"

Alex filled Piper's mug with fresh coffee and Piper thanked her profusely they then settled into an awkward silence each not knowing what to say to the other.

"So what time will you be leaving?"

Piper wasn't surprised, not really, by Alex's question but it still didn't stop the hurt that she felt at hearing it. The hurt must have shown as Alex's face creased a strained "Piper..." leaving her lips.

"No I get it"

Piper felt as though she needed a moment to regroup so she moved back to the couch and sat nursing her warm coffee mug between her hands. The confidence she had felt in the early hours of the morning while watching Alex sleep, in her arms that had instinctively wrapped around her protectively, had all but disappeared and she wished it would make an appearance. Alex settled down heavily next to her and Piper turned to her hesitantly. Alex looked better this morning her eyes brighter although the deep black bags remained. Piper wasn't sure what she expected but after the events of the night before she was surprised Alex looked so well.

"Are you going to tell me about it?" Alex just turned her head away in response "Look I get it but after last night I think you owe me an explanation"

"I don't owe you anything"

Piper choked down the anger that was invoked at such a response forcing herself to keep calm. Shouting wouldn't get them anywhere.

"Well I think you do. Think about if the tables where turned how would you respond?" Before Alex could reply Piper spoke again "Stupid question I don't want to know how you would feel if it was me"

Alex looked indignant "Are you implying I wouldn't care? because I would Piper, fuck you for thinking I wouldn't"

Piper just shook her head incredulous "You walked out on me! You said you didn't want our relationship anymore I think that's a clearer indication than any of exactly how you feel about me Alex"

Alex just snorted dismissively "You don't know anything"

"Well then tell me"

Piper didn't care that the desperation was now leaking into her voice this was a conversation that was long overdue and she was desperate for answers.

"Alex please this isn't fair it wasn't fair 6 months ago and it certainly isn't fair now. You walked out on me and our life together without so much as a backwards glance with nothing other than 'I don't want this anymore' I thought we were happy I honestly truly did. That day I felt like my life had been ripped from my hands and even now, 6 months later, I feel like I haven't even come close to getting it back"

Piper could feel herself becoming upset but she couldn't help it all the feelings of loneliness and sadness where rushing to the forefront of her mind clouding the rational part of her brain. Two traitorous tears made there way down her cheeks and she turned her head away not wanting Alex to see the hurt that was prominently on display.

"I'm sorry"

Alex's husky voice was thick with emotion but Piper just shook her head in reply slamming her mug down onto the coffee table.

"I don't want your apologies I just want to know why. You always said we were inevitable what the fuck went wrong Alex!"

"Me"

The word was whispered, Alex's voice laden with pain but Piper remained silent hoping, praying that Alex would explain when Alex didn't continue Piper took a chance. With a shaking hand she reached for Alex her fingers desperately latching onto the other woman's hand like it was a lifetime.

"Please tell me I'll leave if that's what you want but I can't without knowing the truth. Please Alex you owe me at least that"

Alex dragged a hand through her hair and kept her eyes fixed on their entwined hands Piper squeezed her fingers encouragingly holding her breath a breath she only released when Alex began to talk.

"The headaches I knew they weren't normal something deep down was ringing like an alarm that something wasn't right. I ignored it for weeks but it was like a constant nag in the back of my mind. I was worried, scared and I know I took it out on you"

Piper just nodded reluctant to speak in case Alex didn't continue.

"I went to two different doctors one just put it down to stress but the other actually listened to my concerns and recommended me for a CT scan. The day I got the results the bottom fell out of my world and it hasn't returned since"

A tear fell from Alex's eye and ran down her cheek Piper resisted the urge to wipe it away.

"Whatever you may think I did love you"

Hurt at the past tense Piper's voice was petulantly defiant "Yeah well I still love you"

Alex let out an angry sob and stood up angrily stalking over to the fireplace before she turned to look at Piper desperation etched across her features.

"You fucking shouldn't oh Kid I wish you didn't"

"Do you really despise me that much!? Why!? Why is my love for you such a terrible thing?!"

"BECAUSE I'M GOING TO DIE"

The words rang out into the room echoing in the open space Alex was breathing as if she had run a mile her breath coming in sharp bursts angry tears pouring down her face.

"We're all going to die it's just part of life Alex"

"Yeah well not like this! This was never part of the plan I was either going to die an old woman with you by my side or go out young, backwards in a ball of flames. Instead I've got this thing growing in my head taking over my brain killing me slowly. The operation is so risky I'll be lucky to survive it and even if I do there's a chance it won't cure me and I'll have to waste away anyway while losing everything along the way, my pride, my dignity ... myself"

Piper had never seen Alex look so vulnerable and she stood up walking slowly as if she was approaching a wounded animal that was backed into a corner. The analogy, looking at Alex in this moment, seemed fitting.

"I look in the mirror every morning and I hate what I see staring back it isn't me. This isn't me Pipes! It's a shadow of a person and I fucking despise it!"

Alex was gesturing wildly her face flushed with anger until suddenly it was like all the rage seeped away and all that was left was devastation.

"And if I can't stand to look at myself how long would it be until you too couldn't bear it? I was always your protector the strong, confidant cocky one why on earth would you want to be stuck with this. A broken empty husk of a person you once loved"

Piper's heart broke not for herself for the woman standing in front of her who had never looked so downtrodden, so defeated.

"I love you, oh Al I love you so much"

Piper couldn't hold back anymore as soon as Alex was in touching distance Piper pressed forward placing her hands on either side of Alex's face she brought their lips together in a bruising kiss trying to convey to Alex just how much she loved her. The kiss was desperate and messy, teeth and tongues clashed together furiously, Alex was still sobbing her tears mixing with Piper's own. Piper felt Alex try to pull back but she wouldn't, couldn't let her go. When the need for oxygen became too great to ignore Piper reluctantly pulled back but she pressed her forehead to Alex's not allowing her to pull away.

"Look at me"

Those tortured eyes she loved so much peered back at her the sight of them making her heart leap with affection.

"I will always love you, always. You're still my Alex you always will be no matter what happens. Did you really think I would leave you to do this all on your own?"

Alex sniffed and looked away "You've left before"

Those words were like a punch in the stomach made all the worse by the fact they were the truth.

"I was young, naive and stupid then. To caught up in my own needy self absorbed way to even realise I had everything I ever wanted and more. I'm older and wiser now I will always stand by your side no matter what life throws at us"

Alex just shook her head sadly her cheeks glistening "I didn't want you to have to deal with this, I didn't want to hurt you with the enormity of this situation"

"Pushing me away is hurting me more. I want to be here I want too look after you, be there for you just like you have always tried to be there for me. If you die-" Piper's voice broke but she cleared her throat determined to continue "If you die, and that's a big if Al, I will be devastated I can't even begin to tell you how much because I honestly don't want to think about it. But when you left all you did was make me feel that devastation sooner but I thought it was my fault and it hurt Al, it hurt so much"

Piper's breath hitched as she tried to slow her tears and Alex ran a shaking hand down her cheek trying to wipe away the remaining tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Pipes"

Piper shook her head and took a deep breath she steeled her nerves and looked Alex deep in the eyes.

"Do you still love me?"

The silence was unbearable it felt as if the world had ceased to turn, time stood still for those few minutes that Piper waited for a response to an answer that meant more to her than the meaning of life.

"Yes"

At the heartfelt whispered word Piper pulled Alex into her arms and kissed her gently before nuzzling into her neck inhaling her scent.

"Then that's all we need Al. That's all me and you have ever needed"

 **A.N Sometimes I just love these two so much :) (then other times I want to bang their heads together!)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N Wow managed to get this finished a whole day earlier than I had originally thought! I scribble my stories on bits of paper or in the notes section of my iPhone sometimes combining the two takes longer than you would think! This chapter is quite a bit longer than I thought it would be but after reading it through from start to finish I didn't really want to split it into two, I hope you all enjoy it anyway!**

Piper yawned loudly and rubbed her eyes her vision was beginning to blur from looking at her laptop screen for so long. It was already half past 7 and Piper was shocked at how long she had been sat crossed legged on the couch the laptop balanced on her knee. All afternoon had been spent researching, trawling website after website making extensive notes on every piece of information she could find regarding frontal lobe brain tumours, the effects and the treatments.

Alex had told her everything after they had clung onto each other and cried until no more tears would come. Over a steaming mug of coffee she had told her every detail she could recall but Piper had wanted to double check every bit of information so that she had a clear picture in her mind of exactly what they were facing. Piper hadn't wanted to leave Alex, terrified that if she left Alex would never let her return but Alex had insisted she go home and think about what she had told her. Piper knew Alex still had doubts over them tackling this together but she was adamant there was no way in hell she was letting Alex continue to live with this alone.

Seeing the full symptoms and outcomes in black and white on the screen had frightened her at first but she had quickly pushed the fear away determined. The surgery would be tricky and this is what scared Piper the most and she was worried that Alex would slip away from her on the operating table or never awake from the invasive procedure. She still didn't know the date Alex was scheduled for her operation Alex insisting that at the moment she didn't need to know and this worried her but she hadn't wanted to push Alex too far in case she closed up completely. Piper wasn't stupid she knew she was still walking on a thin tightrope were Alex was concerned knowing it wouldn't take much for her love to completely withdraw from her. This morning had been so much more than she expected and she reasoned that she should be grateful for the information Alex had freely given not focusing on the things that were still unclear.

Her phone brought her from her thoughts when it buzzed on the coffee table and her face lit up when Alex's name flashed up on the screen. Eagerly she picked the phone up and brought it up to her ear pressing the answer button as she did "Hello"

"Hey Kid"

Piper's stomach did a little flip of happiness at the sound of her nickname and she smiled sighing happily into the phone.

"Hey Al"

"I just wanted to make sure you got home ok?"

Alex's voice was slightly slurred and Piper had to squash down the urge to fuss knowing that it was either due to a recent dose of pain medication or the tumour itself.

"I'm fine I've had a busy afternoon getting cross eyed from looking at the laptop for so long. I'm sure I'm going to need glasses soon think I can look as hot in them as you do"

Alex's husky laugh echoed down the phone and Piper smiled wider.

"You trying to copy my style?"

"I don't think I'll ever pull off your style nobody does rockabilly quite like you Ms Vause"

"True true"

They went quiet Piper was unsure how to continue it had been a long time since they had made idle chatter.

"Why did you call Al?"

Silence, for a moment all Piper could hear was Alex's breathing and she waited patiently for Alex to reply.

"I wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream" was the mumbled reply and Piper knew Alex was embarrassed at sounding so unsure.

"It was real unfortunately you are stuck with me once again" Piper laughed trying to lighten the mood but even she recognised it came out a bit flat so spoke again quickly "Can I back come tonight?"

Alex sighed and Piper knew her reply was not going to be the one she wanted to hear.

"Not tonight Kid I'm not feeling great my next painkillers are due in half an hour and after that I'll be going straight to bed. They knock me out pretty well no more late parties for me!"

Piper choked down her disappointment and also her worry at the thought of Alex alone while feeling so unwell. However she reasoned that Alex had endured 6 months of this by herself Piper insisting she now didn't stay alone would probably anger her.

"Can I come tomorrow instead then?"

Alex chuckled "You're like a dog with a bone"

"I just don't want to spend anymore time apart from you I've missed going to sleep with you beside me"

Piper's voice was soft and gentle it was the truth if she had her way she wouldn't spend another night on her own without Alex's arms around her as she slept.

"Pipes ..."

"I know what you are going to say and I don't want to hear it ok?"

Alex sighed heavily and Piper involuntarily closed her eyes as if having her eyes shut would spare her the pain.

"You have survived sleeping on your own for 6 months and you coming back and sleeping next to me isn't going to help you in the long run is it?"

"But I don't like sleeping without you"

"It's something you need to get used to Kid you've got years of it in front of you"

Alex's voice was so matter of fact it sparked anger in Piper and she clenched her teeth together to stop herself from replying. Trying to calm down she took long deep breaths in and out but when Alex spoke again it disrupted her mantra.

"You still there Kid?"

"Yes"

"I know it's not the answer you wanted Piper"

Piper scoffed "I just hate how blasé you are about this"

Alex laughed sarcastically "Well what would you prefer? For me to do wail and sob at the unfairness and refuse to acknowledge what's going to happen to me?"

"No" Piper snapped back her anger evident in her tone "I just wish you would stop saying that you are going to die if your surgery is a success then you can beat this I know you can"

"If my surgery succeeds, and that's a big if Piper, I have a 50% chance at survival even less chance of coming out the way I am now all faculties intact with all limbs functioning as they should. Being totally honest Piper I'm not completely certain I even want the fucking surgery"

Cold icy fear wrapped around Piper's body spreading through her veins and settled firmly into her stomach.

"Don't you say that, don't you dare say that"

"And why not!? It's my fucking life Piper and I'll be damned if I'm going to be left crippled, dribbling in a chair because of a risky surgery that went wrong. That's no life Piper it's an existence, an existence I sure as hell don't want!"

Piper closed her eyes and willed the tears that had built in her eyes at Alex's words to disappear but it was futile they slipped traitorously down her cheeks and she held the phone away from her as she sniffed loudly.

"Kid don't cry I'm sorry for getting so angry"

"No ... No it's ok"

"No it's not though Piper ... Shit this is why I didn't want you involved it's only bringing you upset in your life, upset that you don't need"

"I've cried myself to sleep every night for the past 6 months Alex trust me tears are nothing new"

Piper didn't want to make Alex feel guilty but it was the truth.

"I'm so sorry Piper"

Piper sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve "I know you are and I'm sorry too I don't want to make you feel guilty"

"I feel guilty ... anyway"

Piper laughed "What a pair we make eh"

Alex just hummed in response.

"You tired Al?"

"Headache is getting stronger... I'm going to have to go soon"

The slurring of words had gotten worse throughout their conversation and Piper knew she would have to let Alex go even though all she wanted to do was listen to that husky voice for the rest of her evening.

"You go, take your painkillers and get in bed. I can talk to you tomorrow?"

The last sentence was meant to come out as a statement instead it sounded like a question.

"Speak to you tomorrow Kid"

"I heart you" Piper smiled as she said the words and she smiled wider when Alex laughed.

"I heart ... you too"

* * *

"You can't expect anything more Chapman"

Nicky eyed her over the top of her beer bottle and Piper groaned exasperated.

"Why do you always take her side"

Nicky just snorted "There's no sides in this Chapman unless you count us and the cancer"

"I know, I know its just she can be so bloody stubborn"

Nicky chuckled "I'm surprised she gave in so easily to be honest"

Piper snapped her head up surprised "Why?"

"Well come on you turned up, she let you stay, opened up to you. I think that's pretty good going considering she broke your heart and her own to keep this from you in the first place"

Piper went quiet contemplating Nicky's words.

"She's also agreed to you speaking tomorrow I think you can definitely say this is more progress than you ever thought you would make surely"

"Hmmm I suppose so" they sat in silence Nicky drinking her beer Piper sipping at a glass of wine.

"What's really bothering you Piper?"

Piper took her time to finish the contents of her glass wondering whether she should say what was exactly on her mind. She trusted Nicky she truly did but she didn't really want to burden her friend while she was a confidant to both herself and Alex. Nicky continued to stare and under her unflinching gaze Piper caved.

"She doesn't know whether to have the surgery"

Nicky choked on the mouthful of beer she had just taken coughing and sputtering beer running down her chin onto Piper's wooden floor.

"Is she fuckin' crazy! She'll die without it!"

"At first that's what I thought but then-"

"But then what? You realised that yes she's just batshit crazy"

Piper just shook her head "I've been reading up on the operation Alex is telling the truth it is dangerous Nicky where the tumour is it's the part of the brain that controls the body's motor skills. Alex is terrified she'll end up not being able to walk, talk. You've spent time with her Nic you must have noticed her speech"

Nicky shifted uncomfortably "Well yeah but I just thought that was a side effect of the painkillers"

Piper nodded "So did I but it isn't the tumour is already affecting her physically. At the moment it's a side affect to an illness, the illness being the tumour, but if it becomes permanent? Alex won't cope you know how proud she is and she is terrified of becoming a burden, trapped in a life she doesn't want"

Nicky shook her head disbelieving "So she would rather die than try and fight, survive and live with a speech impediment?! Fuck that shit Piper she needs a good fuckin' talking to"

"Well she isn't going to listen to me"

Nicky stood angrily "Well I'll make her listen to me"

Nicky made her way to the kitchen pulling on her jacket as she did. Dropping her now empty beer bottle into the bin she raised her hand to Piper and headed to the door.

"Where are you going!?"

Nicky just looked at her like she had lost her mind "Where do you think! I'm off to Vause's talk some sense into her"

"Nicky its 10 o clock she'll be in bed just leave it until tomorrow? She didn't sound good before Nic just leave her to rest please?"

Nicky stared at her for a moment and then shook her head before heading to the door "No I need to do this now catch you later Chapman"

Before Piper could even continue to reason with her wild haired friend the door slammed shut and Piper just stared forward in a daze. Alex would be furious and not just at Nicky's interference Piper groaned why oh why did she have to open her big mouth. If anything was going to push Alex back into her self imposed exile it was this. Piper stood and placed her glass into the kitchen sink debating what to do with herself now. She was too wound up to sleep, her nerves were on edge but she also knew she wouldn't settle doing anything else. Slowly she cleaned up her kitchen, washed and dried the few dishes and tidied her laptop away in the living room. It was now 10 to 11 and Piper still felt as stressed and on edge as she had when Nicky rushed out of her apartment. Struggling with her internal battle Piper eventually gave in to the urge grabbing her car keys from the small table by her door she grasped her coat and all but ran down her hallway. She couldn't sit at home worrying and waiting she needed to get to Alex's.

* * *

Piper could hear the shouting before she had even reached Alex's door and she internally cringed as a man appeared in front of her gesturing wildly "I've told them once to pack it in if this shouting continues I'm calling the police!"

Piper nodded eager to calm the irate man "Don't worry I'll make sure to put a stop to it"

"Well make sure you do! 5 minutes then if they're still at it I'm making the phone call" the man stalked back into his flat slamming the door on his way causing Piper to wince.

For the second time in as many days Piper squared her shoulders and marched into Alex's apartment. Alex and Nicky were standing in the living room screaming at each other neither listening to a word the other was saying. Nicky was gesturing wildly in front of the window while Alex was holding herself upright with the couch both of their faces where alight with anger.

"Right that's enough! It's half past 11 at night I've just had your neighbour threatening to call the police! Can we at least talk about this like rational adults!"

Both occupants turned to look at her in shock the immediate silence suddenly deafening and Piper raised her eyebrows "Thank you now who would like a drink?"

Alex just snorted, sluggishly she moved to the couch sitting down heavily while Nicky stayed pacing by the window like a caged lion.

"Just me then"

Piper marched over to the kitchen shedding her coat as she went she draped both the coat and her bag over the kitchen counter. Turning the kettle on waiting as it boiled she surveyed the scene in front of her with interest neither Alex or Nicky had uttered another word. Piper continued to make her drink and when she had finished she carried her mug over to Alex and made to sit down.

"Don't you even think of sitting on this couch Piper"

Piper rolled her eyes turning instead to sit in the arm chair.

"I believe I specifically told you not to come here tonight"

Piper snorted "You did and I also told Nicky to not come here tonight but hey seems like nobody is getting what they want this evening"

Nicky scoffed loudly "Oh yeah 'cause I could just go calmly continue sipping beer then trot home after your little revelation Chapman. I'm not like you I'm not willing to just stand back and watch Vause die"

Piper felt her hackles rise "Oh yes because that's exactly what I'm doing. You don't get it Nicky barging over here shouting your mouth off is hardly helping anything!"

Piper's hands shook with anger and she kept a tight hold on the mug in her hands, it was the only think stopping her from leaping up and slapping Nicky across her face.

"At least I'm doing something! You were quite happy to just sit on your arse and moan about how unfair this all is! Self involved Chapman strikes again! No wonder you two can't keep your shit together long enough to be happy not when one half of this couple involves you!"

Nicky's words cut her deeply her mouth hung open and she couldn't think of a fitting retort, the wind had been throughly knocked from her sails at the caustic hurtful words. Alex who had been watching quietly as the two of them furiously argued couldn't help but jump in.

"That was a low blow Nichols"

"Taking her side are we now? Not 15 minutes ago you were cursing the ground she walks on"

Piper couldn't bring herself to look at either of them confrontation had never been her thing she had always preferred to bury her head in the sand. The main reason she hated to argue was an argument never stayed on topic they always resulted in everyone throwing out hurtful comments. Piper had learnt from a young age that even people who were meant to love you would say the most awful things just to win their point in an argument. Piper flinched when she met Alex's gaze she guessed Alex could sense her uncomfortableness and it was confirmed with Alex's next words.

"Stop it Nicky this isn't productive hurling insults around isn't making anyone's point"

Nicky took a deep calming breath and came and sat down heavily next to Alex an action which irked Piper when Nicky received no reprimand, she had been told to stay away.

"I'm sorry Piper"

Piper inclined her head she couldn't bring herself to answer still smarting at Nicky's cutting comment.

"Do you really think that guy will call the police?" Nicky looked worried and Piper couldn't blame her Nicky was fresh out of Litchfield she needed to stay on the right side of the law.

"I don't know he said if it continued he would but to be fair the shoutings stopped now"

Nicky nodded although she still looked uneasy "Well just in case he decides to be a fuckin' grass I'm gonna head off I've made my point, rehashing over the same thing isn't going to make you any less stubborn"

Nicky ignored Alex's answering eye roll and stood quickly collecting her coat.

"We ok Chapman?"

"I'll call you in a couple of days"

Nicky inclined her head and leant over the couch giving Alex a one armed hug.

"Just think about what I said ok?" Alex grunted and Nicky looked exasperatedly in Piper's direction "I'll call you, see you soon"

As soon as the door shut Alex let her head fall back and she brought her hands up to massage her temples.

"The shouting won't have helped your headache"

"A* Ms Chapman did you read that in your studies? I bet I'm like a new pet project for you and Nicky hey"

Piper didn't reply she just continued to drink her coffee the situation for a moment feeling overwhelming.

"I didn't tell her so that she could come here and have a go"

"No but you still told her anyway. I feel like my life isn't my fucking own everybody sticking their opinions in trying to tell me how to deal with this. You're not the one who has to live with this I am"

Piper placed her cup into the coffee table and leant her elbows onto her knees "But I am living with it"

"By your own fucking insistence I didn't want you involved!"

Piper just sighed she didn't want to argue but she didn't really know how to make her point.

"Do you remember when I got attacked at Litchfield?"

Alex sighed "How could I forget"

"I fought for you, I fought so damn hard for you Alex. Not for me, for you. I just wish that you would fight this for you, for Nicky ... for me"

Piper went quiet letting her words sink in pleased that Alex hadn't immediately started shouting.

"It's not that easy Piper"

"Actually it is. The only person who is allowing the cancer to win is you. Me and Nic we're fighting, fighting you to make you see that you can beat this. You're not alone we're here for you and I truly believe your strong enough to do this"

"Piper ... look at me I can hardly stand the left side of my body is weakening slowly every day. My voice is permanently slurred now, the headache never truly leaves, it's already beating me"

Piper just shook her head "These are symptoms of an illness they are not permanent"

Alex sighed her body slumping "I don't think I'm strong enough anymore Piper"

"The Alex Vause I know wouldn't go down without a fight" Piper's voice was defiant it was the truth her love had fought for everything in life and always succeeded.

"Maybe the Alex Vause you knew isn't here anymore"

"Yes she is a bit battered, definitely older, at the moment I can't really say wiser" Piper smirked at Alex playfully "But she's definitely still here and I know that because I look at her now and I still feel the all consuming love I felt when I first looked at her and realised we had the rest of our lives together"

Tears were building now and Piper moved to sit next to Alex taking her hands tightly "You used to describe our future together all the time, the places we would go, the sights we would see. What made you give up on that?"

"I want you to be happy Piper and with me like this you won't get a happy carefree life I know you deserve"

"But you seem to forget the only thing I need to be happy Al is you, just you"

Alex just closed her eyes and leant her head back on the couch and Piper could feel the frustration build.

"You just decided what was best for me without asking I'm a big girl now Alex I don't need you to plan my life for me especially one were you are not in it!"

"I was protecting you!"

Piper laughed sarcastically "This isn't protecting me, holding me at arms length is destroying me. I want you back in my life as my girlfriend whether we have the next 3 months together or the next 30 years either way I want you"

Alex only shook her head and stood up slowly her movements laboured and awkward "Go home Piper"

Piper watched as Alex walked away from her for the second time and this time she was determined to not lie down and accept this.

"No"

Standing up herself she waited until Alex turned around to face her. As soon as those green eyes locked with her own Piper stood tall and said the two words that burnt in her mind like a beacon of hope.

"Marry me"

 **A.N What do you think :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N Your response to the last chapter was absolutely amazing thank you guys ever so much! I've changed the rating from T to M for the story as this chapter does get a little hot and heavy *blushes***

 **I didn't really intend to make this fic M rated at the beginning but hey that's where the writing led me and I'll be honest I didn't put up much of a fight :)**

 **I hope though, that you still enjoy it and if you have a moment I would be grateful to hear any feedback :) ...**

"What did you just say?!"

"Marry me"

Piper's voice was confident and sure, in fact she was certain she had never been so sure about anything in her whole life.

"Why?"

"You don't seem to believe me when I say all I want is to spend my life with you. I'm deadly serious Alex I would marry you tomorrow if it meant I got to spend every waking moment by your side"

Alex just looked at her in shock her eyebrows raised high on her head a disbelieving look across her features. It was like she was frozen and Piper just allowed the words to keep falling trying desperately to make her point.

"I'm not going to leave you Al and I don't know another way to prove to you that I would be 100% committed if we gave us another go"

"You could still divorce me"

Piper scoffed "Don't be ridiculous that would be the final tipping point for my mother a lesbian ex convict she can just about deal with but a divorcee? Never!"

Piper smirked at her joke but Alex's face was still unreadable so she sighed letting the humour fall away her face and tone becoming serious once again.

"I wouldn't leave you whether we're married, girlfriends or co-habitants I'm not going Alex, I promise I'm not leaving, not again. I just want you to know how serious I am about this and if it meant you could feel safe in the knowledge it would be me and you forever I would quite happily become Mrs Vause til' death do us part"

Piper didn't dare move her breath held as she waited for Alex to answer her. It felt like an age and she was almost certain she was going to faint until Alex spoke rendering her body incapable of anything except breathing.

"You really are something else Kid"

Alex's face had relaxed into a bright smile her eyes watering slightly and Piper smiled back although hesitantly.

"Is that a yes?"

Alex laughed her deep husky voice echoing around the room filling her body with the sound.

"We don't need to get married Piper I get it. I don't really understand why you are not running for the hills what with the cancer and everything but I do understand that you don't want to be apart from me"

"Because you know just how fabulous you are" Piper winked and chuckled.

"No because I know how much I've missed you these last few months. Even though it was from my own doing and I knew I was doing it for you deep down I wanted to rage and cry at the unfairness and come home to you Kid"

Piper's smile stretched from ear to ear and she launched herself at Alex wrapping her arms around her as tightly as she could crashing their lips together heatedly.

"I'm yours, I promise" the words tumbled from her mouth onto Alex's lips and Alex's reply was like a match to a flame her body igniting with heat.

"Mine"

Alex's hands began to roam her body leaving a fiery trail in their wake and Piper couldn't stop the hitch in her breath it had been so long since she had been touched like this that Piper felt slightly embarrassed by how easily Alex's touch made her body hum with want. Piper moaned as Alex licked and kissed a path up her neck until she reached her earlobe biting down sharply.

"Fucking mine"

Piper let out a guttural groan her hands coming up to anchor themselves in her lovers luscious dark locks. Alex's hand palmed and grasped at her breast her nipple hardening at the touch.

"Jesus Alex.."

Piper crashed their lips back together her tongue instantly entwining with Alex's beginning the familiar fiery dance they had perfected over the years. Every nerve in Piper's body began to tingle in anticipation of what was to come before the feel of Alex's left hand shaking as it held onto her hip bone distracted her slightly. Piper slowed their kiss bringing it to a natural end and lent her head to Alex's forehead.

"If you carry on kissing me like that we're never going to get any sleep"

Alex winked "Who said you were sleeping over"

Piper's face fell and Alex quickly smiled gently bringing her shaking hand to caress Piper's cheek.

"I'm joking Kid the left side of my bed will always be yours"

Piper took Alex's hand in her own and placed a gentle kiss to her palm her lips revelling in the feel of the soft warm skin.

"You really don't want to get married?"

Piper cursed herself at how insecure her voice sounded and she buried her head into Alex's neck as she felt a blush rise up settling onto her cheeks.

"I just don't need to sign a piece of paper to prove my love for you or your love for me and that's all marriage is. I do love you Piper I truly do I always have done. I just don't think we need to get married"

For a moment rejection washed over her body and she didn't reply until Alex raised her head placing a long slender finger under her chin.

"Don't look so unsure Kid if you're truly serious about wanting to be with me then I'm in it for the long haul too, well as long as I've got. I always was I just got a little lost in my own head along the way"

Piper studied Alex's face and seeing nothing but sincerity Piper let her fears fall away and she pressed her lips to Alex's in a sweet kiss winding her arms around Alex's neck threading her fingers in the hair at Alex's nape.

"Can I at least call you my fiancé?"

Alex rolled her eyes but she smiled widely taking hold of Piper's cheeks in her warm hands as she chuckled.

"Well I suppose I can agree to that"

Piper beamed her body humming with elation, she felt like a giddy schoolgirl her body thrumming with excitement. Alex yawned her eyes looking tired and heavy but they still shone brightly with happiness and Piper pulled her by the hand guiding her forwards.

"You going to show me this bedroom of yours then?"

* * *

She was burning from the inside she was certain her nerves where alight with lust one hand was buried in the soft pillow behind her the other tangled in the dark soft tendrils that where currently buried between her legs.

"Fuck Al..."

She had walked into the bedroom with the good intention of getting in bed and cuddling innocently with Alex until they went to sleep, knowing how draining today had been for her lover, Alex though had other ideas. As soon as Alex had walked out of her en suite the gleam in her eye had turned primal, she had pounced and Piper's clothes had been removed as quickly as shaking hands would allow. Every inch of her body had been worshipped by Alex's lips before she had settled between her legs, her strong muscled tongue causing Piper's eyes to slam shut her body arching with pleasure.

"Al ... I need ... fuck I need your fingers"

Piper couldn't take much more Alex's tongue was heavenly but it was torturous how she would push her body to the edge but not let her have the sweet relief Piper so desperately craved. Alex's smirking face appeared over the top of her and she crashed her lips to Piper's own.

Piper immediately entwined her tongue the taste of her own arousal filling her mouth along with the taste that was distinctly Alex, it only served to turn her on more.

Alex pulled back abruptly, her weight supported by her left arm at the side of Piper's head as her right slowly made its way down her body avoiding any of her sensitive spots her face smirking wickedly as she continued to tease. Piper began to pout desperate for Alex to stop her torture but she quickly stopped as Alex suddenly winced in pain her face stricken. Alex's left arm shuddered then went slack, caving underneath her, and Piper moved upwards swiftly to catch her falling lovers body in her arms before they butted heads.

"Alex!? are you ok?"

"Fine"

The response was short, said through gritted teeth, her tone laced with irritation and Piper knew Alex was frustrated and that anger would soon make an appearance. Not wanting to lose Alex to her fears and rage Piper sat up slowly pushing Alex back until she rested on her haunches.

"I believe I told you I needed you to fuck me"

Alex opened her mouth to retort angrily but Piper just crashed their lips together swallowing the scathing reply that she knew was to come. Still keeping their tongues and lips together Piper moved turning Alex with her not allowing their contact to break even for a moment. Pushing insistently against Alex she made her body slide backwards until her back hit the bed frame all the while still kissing her furiously. Reluctantly she pulled her lips away while she gathered the pillows and tucked them behind Alex so that she wasn't leaning uncomfortably upright against the exposed bed frame.

Piper knelt on her knees in front of Alex's crossed legs her naked body completely on show and slowly slid one hand down her stomach while the other wound into her hair.

"I need you Alex, I'm so fucking wet for you"

Piper wanted to bring Alex back into the moment and she was pleased to see Alex's breath hitch and the anger across her features recede as she watched Piper's hand creep it's way down her stomach to the top of her pussy lips.

"I can feel it Al, feel what you do to me and it's making me so fucking hot"

Piper didn't linger for long knowing how close she was already instead she brought both hands to her breasts dragging her thumbs across her rock hard nipples not stopping the moan that escaped as her eyes met Alex's in a heated stare.

"If I come over there are you going to fuck me Al? Make me cum while screaming your name?"

Alex nodded, her eyes alight as she gulped audibly her mouth slack. Watching Alex look at her with such lust in her eyes made another rush of warmth run through her and Piper felt the wetness between her legs increase dramatically. Slowly Piper crawled up the bed and straddled Alex's lap with shaking legs, Alex's hands coming to rest immediately on her thighs. She pressed a bruising kiss to Alex's lips and grasped the headboard with both hands.

"Show me what I know you can do"

Alex didn't need telling twice. Piper's grip on the headboard turned her knuckles white as three deliciously long fingers were thrust up deep inside of her immediately hitting the spot that made her vision blur.

"Fuck Pipes ... you're fucking dripping..."

Piper could only moan loudly in response as her body stretched to accommodate Alex's slender digits. Alex did not give her long to adjust and instead of fighting for control Piper just held on to the bed frame tighter as her lover began to pound into her, each time catching her clit with her thumb in the process. Piper could barely form a coherent thought from the feelings the dark haired woman was causing to build ferociously inside her.

Piper was so lost in the heady sensation she didn't even realise she was matching the thrusting of Alex's hand with her hips as her body desperately sought relief. Moaning incoherently she brought a shaking hand down to clutch Alex's head to her chest crying out in pleasure louder as her lover latched her lips around her rock hard nipple causing even more wonderfully erotic sensations to course through her being as Alex's hot wet tongue dragged incessantly over her hardened bud. All too soon Piper began to feel the familiar coil of tension tightening in the pit of her stomach and she knew that her orgasm was building at a ferocious rate, she could feel her muscles beginning to clench around Alex's fingers but she still needed more.

"Fuck ... Alex ... Harder"

Her gasped words spurred her lover on and the pounding between her thighs increased as did the pressure on her clit from her lovers thumb. Piper nearly cried with pleasure as her mind and body began to free fall, feeling her orgasm begin to peak she did one final arch of her hips and she came clutching onto Alex as if her life depended on it, whimpering her name over and over as she did so. Beads of sweat ran down her face and her chest as her eyes clenched tightly shut against the onslaught of pure pleasure her body desperately riding out the last waves of her orgasm jerking uncontrollably.

Feeling her body beginning to collapse completely sated she let her limp form slide down so she could rest her head into the crook of Alex's neck. She desperately tried to get her breathing under control keeping her arms tightly wrapped around Alex she began to place feather light kisses to her lover's neck.

"Fuck that was amazing ..."

Piper lay exhausted letting her shuddering body settle quietly listening to Alex breathe until she felt a wetness on her cheek and she looked upwards in surprise to see Alex crying silently.

"Oh Al..."

"What did I do in life to deserve you Kid? I'm broken, battered, practically beaten. I can't even fuck you properly and yet you still want me"

Piper sat up and kissed Alex lovingly, cupping her cheeks as she did, her thumb running soothingly up and down Alex's soft damp skin.

"Did you not just see the way you made me cum there is no complaint here Al trust me"

Piper kissed Alex's lips softly feeling overwhelmed with love for the woman in her arms.

"Shhh my darling we're not starting this again no more tears ok? I love you, you love me that's all that matters"

Alex smiled and Piper wiped her remaining tears away before she quirked her eyebrow upwards a coy smile playing across her lips.

"Now I want to make you feel as good as you have just made me feel" and Piper began to worship the woman she loved intent on lavishing as much love and attention as she could within the next couple of hours before they inevitably gave in to the need to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for all your feedback you gave for the last chapter I'm glad everyone seemed to enjoy it and with all the follows and favs I'm so thrilled! This one's another long one I hope you all enjoy!**

Piper blearily opened one eye and squinted in the dark at the clock perched on the bedside table, it read half past 7 and she huffed burying her head back under the covers, annoyed with herself for waking up half an hour before the alarm. It was three days since she had been at home and Piper knew today she would have to return to at least pick up some clean clothes. Although she had washed her outfit once, lounging in Alex's dressing gown until her clothes dried, she was beginning to feel a little scruffy at wearing the same set of clothes for a third day. Piper hoped that Alex would come with her so she could see were she was living but Piper knew it would depend on the outcome of the doctors appointment Alex was scheduled to attend at 11 o clock.

Piper stretched her hand out trying to locate her dark haired lover but her hand came up empty. Poking her head above the covers she could just make out the outline of the en suite door and she could hear Alex retching in bathroom. The mornings, Piper had quickly come to realise, were the worst. Alex would wake with nausea so strong she would spend a good half hour throwing up the contents of her stomach and then dry heaving when there was nothing left. The headache was always blinding, tears would roll down her cheeks until the painkillers kicked in and dulled the pain enough so that she could face the rest of the day. Piper rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stood up slowly, grasping Alex's dressing gown from behind the door, she made her way into the bathroom. As predicted Alex was slumped, shivering over the toilet, her body heaving and Piper draped the gown over her shoulders and pulled her hair back away from her face, placing a cool hand to her lovers forehead as she did.

"Can I get you some water?"

Alex nodded sluggishly and Piper ran the cold tap quickly filled a glass with the cold water. Bringing the glass to Alex's lips she helped her take a long drink. For the next 15 minutes Piper sat and rubbed soothing circles across Alex's shoulders as they waited for the nausea to pass. Eventually the heaving ceased and Alex lent back shakily into Piper's arms her body cool and clammy to touch.

"I fucking hate the mornings"

Piper pressed a kiss to Alex's forehead in silent agreement and wiped the tears from Alex's cheeks, she too hated seeing how much Alex struggled for that first hour every day.

"Shall I get your painkillers?" Alex nodded her eyes heavy, her body still shivering. "Come on, come and get in bed, I'll bring them to you"

Piper helped Alex to her feet and supported her weight as they walked back into the bedroom. Once Alex was firmly propped up against the pillows she made her way to the bathroom and collected the drugs Alex needed before she went and made them both a hot drink. Carrying both coffees back into the room she balanced the mugs on the bedside tables, turned on the lamp next to her bed then settled back into the warm covers gratefully. The heating was only just coming on and the apartment felt cold, her feet chilled.

"Don't you dare"

Piper feigned ignorance painting a nonchalant expression on her face "What?"

Alex smirked "You know exactly what, keep those cold feet to yourself"

Piper laughed then stuck her feet straight onto Alex's calves causing Alex to jump. It was an old, old joke one that went back to when they first got together Alex would tell her no then let Piper warm her feet on her anyway. Piper always viewed it as a sign of how much Alex cared for her that despite how much she disliked the feel she always gave in to Piper's pouting.

"Some things never change do they Kid"

Piper chuckled "Nope you will be my foot warmer forever!"

Alex just hummed in reply and Piper cuddled up closer propping herself against Alex's pillows so that she could drink her hot coffee while still being pressed against Alex's side. Piper's phone buzzed with an incoming message and she reached across smiling as she saw it was Nicky who was texting her.

"Who is it?" Alex's voice was pained and very slurred Piper knew it would ease slightly when the painkillers began to take effect but she still struggled to tamper down the worry that built slightly deep in her stomach.

"It's just Nic wondering how we are this morning" Alex just grunted "She's also asking if you want her to go with you today while you don't want me there"

Piper kept her tone light not wanting to start another argument not after yesterdays heated discussion. Piper was incredulous when Alex had told her yesterday that she wasn't invited to attend the appointment and they had argued. Alex would not give in so she had been forced to grit her teeth and instead offered to drive Alex there, an offer which had been reluctantly accepted.

"I don't need her to come ... but will you ask her to pick me up save you hanging around for me?" Piper just nodded and quickly replied placing the phone back on the night stand when Nicky had replied with a yes. They sat quietly sipping their drinks until Alex broke the silence.

"Are you mad at me?"

No Piper truly wasn't but she did feel put out. Not really knowing how to respond she just shook her head keeping her gaze firmly forward.

"I just need to do this myself. I promise I will tell you everything when I get home"

Piper, pleased that Alex was at least including her on some level, leaned over and pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek "I need to go back to my apartment later do you want to come with me?"

Alex smiled a relieved smile obviously glad she wasn't cross and Piper felt some of the tension leave her body "Yeah I'd like that, be nice to see somewhere other than this apartment and the bloody hospital"

Piper smiled sympathetically she knew Alex was frightened of going out in public worried that she would have a funny turn while out. Piper was trying to encourage Alex to go out to places with her but so far she was reluctant saying she wanted to wait until after today's hospital appointment.

"The headache beginning to ease yet?" Alex nodded slowly "Good because you need to eat something before you leave"

Alex rolled her eyes "It's like living with my mother"

Piper just nudged her side playfully "I hope you didn't used to do the things you do to me with your mother! That's some perverted shit right there Al"

Alex laughed loudly before awkwardly pulling Piper into a warm one armed hug "I've missed you Pipes these last couple of days have been perfect I'm sorry for ever leaving in the first place"

Piper just cuddled closer feeling unbelievably happy on one hand but on the other it was marred by the worry she could feel building, she was dreading the outcome from the appointment. Feeling like her thoughts were beginning to eat her alive Piper sat up and pressed a kiss to Alex's lips.

"Right I'm going to go and make a start on breakfast you going to come and join me when you're ready?"

Alex nodded smiling gently and Piper's heart skipped a beat, God she loved this woman fiercely with every fibre of her being. Still keeping a smile on her face Piper quickly made her way to the kitchen needing to keep herself busy so that the worry and fear could be kept at bay she needed to stay strong and confidant for Alex and right now she was beginning to wonder how.

* * *

"She hasn't uttered a word since I picked her up Piper"

Alex had arrived back at the apartment and disappeared straight into her bedroom the door behind her shutting with a resounding bang. It couldn't be more obvious to Piper that she wanted to be left alone.

"I'm worried Piper" Piper felt like she wanted to be sick, her stomach was churning, her hands slick with sweat.

"Me too Nic"

Piper's voice caught as tears clogged her throat and Nicky pulled her into a fierce embrace squeezing her tightly.

"What do we do?"

Piper hated how weak and needy she sounded but she wanted someone to make it all go away to take away her responsibility just for a moment.

"You wait then you talk to her. She promised she would speak to you so just wait it out maybe she needs to get her own head around whatever they told her"

Piper nodded she pulled back smiling determinedly and wiped at her eyes "You're right thank you"

"Hey no problem Kid you know where I am if you need me? Even if it's just to have a good cry I know you'll be keeping up a strong façade for Alex but don't let it all get on top of you ok?"

Piper pulled Nicky into another tight hug feeling an overwhelming surge of affection for her bushy haired friend.

"Ok, ok that's enough now Chapman love ins aren't my style"

Nicky was smiling through her sarcastic comment and Piper chuckled.

"I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah I'll be around just give me a call if there's anything you think I should know yeah?"

Nicky's face had gone serious and Piper nodded eagerly "Of course see you later"

Once Nicky had left Piper closed the door quietly and turned around leaning against the solid wood. Now she didn't know what to do she could hear the shower running which mean't Alex wasn't appearing anytime soon but If being under the hot spray helped Alex deal with her emotions then great. Piper went and settled herself in the living room with a coffee and her notebook intent on jotting down a few chapter ideas to keep her distracted. 50 minutes later her page was still blank her coffee now cold so lost in thought she didn't hear the bedroom door open and she was only snapped from her daze when she noticed Alex standing in front of her looking at her curiously.

"Do you still want to go to your apartment?"

Piper for a moment was shocked at how normal Alex seemed in that moment but she held her tongue.

"Yes, do you still want to come with me?"

Alex nodded and wordlessly she handed Piper her jacket. Piper accepted sliding her favourite leather jacket on she wrapped her scarf around her neck and pulled on her gloves. As they made to leave Piper couldn't hold her tongue and she turned to Alex expectantly "Are you-"

Alex cut her off quickly "I know you want answers I will tell you everything later but first lets just go to your apartment, you can show me round and we can have a bit of normality without thinking about this fucking tumour"

Piper watched as Alex's careful façade seemed to crumble slightly and her voice cracked as she spoke the desperation evident "Please?"

Piper nodded reluctantly and they made there way to Piper's car. The 20 minute journey was made in silence Alex seemed quite content to just look out of the window and Piper didn't really know what to talk about other than the one topic she had been asked to refrain from discussing. Lost in her own thoughts Piper drove on autopilot until she reached her apartment complex coming to a stop in her designated space.

"Looks fancy Pipes"

Piper chuckled "My dad bought it, my mum wanted a holiday home, he wanted an investment it irks her even more now I'm living here rent free"

Alex smiled at her sympathetically as they got out of the car and made there way to Piper's ground floor flat.

"Home sweet home"

Piper opened the door and helped Alex inside letting her lean against her as they came to a stop inside Piper's living room "This is really nice Pipes"

Piper nudged Alex playfully "It's not a patch on yours"

"Yes but I've always had the better taste"

They giggled until Piper's head whipped around in alarm as the sound of the toilet flushing rang out.

"What the-"

"Is that you Piper?"

Alex's eyes widened at the sound of Bill Chapman's voice and she began to slowly edge back towards the door. Before Alex could escape Piper's father strode into the room and stopped dead in front of them his eyes wide his jaw slack.

"Hello Daddy what are you doing here?"

Piper kept her tone light and even dreading how this unfortunate turn of events would play out.

"I've had a row with your mother I was going to stay here just for the night but it seems you have other plans"

Bill Chapman's words were sharp and Piper winced she was just going to intervene when Bill spoke again cutting her off quickly.

"Nice to see you Alex how long has it been 7 months?"

The sarcastic tone wasn't missed and Piper looked between them warily.

"It's good to see you sir"

Bill scoffed "I'd like to say the same but then I would be lying. Do you realise the hurt you have caused my daughter?"

"Dad please this isn't the time"

"Oh it's exactly the time Piper. What nonsense has she been spouting to make you go running back to her side? You may have forgotten the hurt she caused but I sure as damn haven't" Bill turned to face Alex his arm raised as he pointed in Alex's face "The day you left I lost a piece of my daughter. She never smiled, she never laughed my carefree little girl replaced by a stranger going through the motions putting on a mask to everyone including her mother and I. We lost her to grief and insecurity that she wasn't enough, would never be enough and that Alex was all because of you!"

"I'm sorry"

Alex's words were laden with guilt but also noticeably slurred and Piper could feel Alex's body slacken slightly and she moved so she could support more of her weight. The symptoms had been worse today but it came as no surprise, Piper knew stress caused it to flare up and with the appointment and now this Piper was concerned.

"How much have you drank today to leave you in this state? Is that why you're here? Because your drunk and lonely wanting a familiar body?"

Piper went to move in front of Alex trying to shield her from her father words, she opened her mouth to speak but she was cut off by Bill's continuing tirade.

"Well Piper may be stupid enough to come crawling back to you but I'm sure as hell not allowing it, get out!"

Nobody moved and Bill looked livid he stalked forward as if to physically remove Alex from the room until Piper stopped him a firm hand against his chest a pained look across her face.

"Daddy don't do this please we can explain"

Alex shook her head then winced and Piper quickly guided her to the couch pushing her father out of the way so that she could sit down.

"No Bill's right I think I should go"

Piper shook her head fiercely "You are not going anywhere especially not like this"

Bill scoffed loudly and Piper rounded on him her famous temper rearing its ugly head.

"You know nothing so keep your opinion to yourself!"

"Nothing! Nothing?! She left you brokenhearted! Now she turns up drunk and you are stupid enough to give her the time of day!"

"You don't know anything"

Bill folded his arms across his chest and looked from one to the other "Then enlighten me what exactly is it that I don't know"

Piper wanted to answer him but she knew how sensitive Alex was over her illness feeling at a loss for how to proceed Piper just opened and closed her mouth a few times before Bill chuckled.

"Always the same Piper you are too trusting sweetheart this will all go to shit again trust me and I'll be the one picking up the pieces"

"You will"

Alex's slurred voice answered and Bill turned to look at Piper smugly.

"But not for the reasons you think"

Piper shook her head repeatedly not wanting to hear the truth she already knew said aloud.

"I've got a brain tumour Bill"

The silence was deafening Bill Chapman looked like he had been slapped his face slack jawed, his eyes wide in horror.

"It's why I left 7 months ago and deep down I know it's why I shouldn't be here now, problem is your daughter doesn't seem to see why she should let me go"

Piper sat down on the couch and took Alex's hand tightly in her own. Bill looked devastated now that the news had settled in and he ran an anxious hand through his thinning hair.

"Oh Alex I'm sorry"

"It wasn't that a few minutes ago was it!"

Piper snapped furious with her father, stress and shouting put more pressure on Alex resulting in increased pain and she was angry, angry at her father and angry at the situation.

"Shhh Pipes he didn't know"

Alex ran a soothing hand down Piper's arm, hesitating slightly as she realised Bill was staring at her shaking left hand.

"Yeah well still he shouldn't have spoken to you like that"

Alex pressed a kiss to her forehead and Piper felt some of the tension in her body evaporate at the simply touch.

"Why don't you go and have a bath" Piper turned looking indignant "You can have a relax in the hot water while I speak to your dad"

Piper couldn't believe Alex wanted to even bother explaining herself but when she saw the look in Alex's eyes she resigned herself knowing arguing would be futile.

Piper stood kissed Alex gently and shot her father a look as she left the living room, she made her way to the bathroom trying to resist the urge to hide and listen to the conversation between her lover and father knowing Alex wanted a private moment. Piper sighed but then smiled she would get the details out of Alex later and with thought she started to run the hot water a good long soak did seem like a good idea.

* * *

"Alex I'm truly sorry. What I said was out of order now I know the truth"

Alex shook her head "You didn't know and you couldn't have guessed. To the oblivious world I look like a staggering drunk, nobody would even think that I'm like this due to a fucking cancer growing in my head"

Bill Chapman couldn't help but feel guilty even after hearing Alex's words. He also couldn't help but stare at the woman his daughter loved so much she looked so different from the last time he saw her it unsettled him.

"Is it terminal?"

Alex flinched and Bill jumped to the worst conclusion "God I'm sorry"

"No, no, it isn't yet"

Bill raised his eyebrows that was not a happy response.

"You'll have to explain Alex I'm afraid I don't understand shouldn't you be happy?"

Alex shook her head frustratedly "The process is radiotherapy, surgery, radiotherapy. I've had the first lot to try and shrink the tumour and that didn't work so now it's surgery which has suddenly got a lot more riskier because of the size of the bloody thing"

Alex was angry her body tight with distress and Bill felt at a loss at to what to do. Feeling the need to do something with his hands Bill opened a small cabinet in the corner of the room and took out a bottle of whisky and two tumblers "Can you drink?"

Alex chuckled "I'm not really supposed to but fuck it I'm not turning that scotch down"

Bill laughed heartily passed Alex a tumbler and settled back into the chair. Whiskey in one hand Bill motioned with the other for Alex to continue.

"The surgery has complications I could come out fine, have radiotherapy beat the cancer live happily ever after or I could die on the operating table. Worse still I will wake up a vegetable trapped in an existence where I'm dependent on those around me to live"

The tears that had welled up in Alex's eyes started to fall when she looked at Bill her hands shaking "I don't want that life for Piper"

Alex began to sob and Bill, not knowing what else to do, sat down onto the couch and pulled Alex into his embrace shushing her just like he had done with Piper many times over these last few months.

"Is that why you left?"

Alex just nodded through her tears and Bill felt his own emotions begin to rise, this woman had been through hell on her own all while trying to spare his daughter.

"I'm so torn Bill I want to live of course I do but I've only just got Piper back. I don't think I'm ready to leave her behind yet and that's a real possibility if I agree to them digging this thing out of my head"

Bill let Alex continue to sob praying that Piper couldn't hear them from the bathroom.

"Have you been for a second opinion? Another doctor?"

Alex shook her head "It's all money Bill and now I can't do my job I haven't any more coming in"

Bill knew it must be extra frustrating for Alex not being able to work he had been there with her when she first got out of Litchfield and realised that she could use her drug smuggling skills importing legally. Now she imported items art, furniture you name it she could import it for a price and she had many long standing clients who regularly paid her a handsome finders fee for procuring their item of choice.

"When is your surgery booked in for?"

Alex hesitated but Bill just looked at her he could sense her reluctance but he needed to know, from her hesitation he knew Piper had no idea.

"2 weeks I've been for my pre op and final consultation today but please don't tell Piper I need to do it in my own time. I don't want it to be like a countdown over our heads it's hard enough to try and be normal anyway"

"Which hospital?"

Alex told Bill every detail and he fought hard to keep his face impassive he knew of better, more skilled surgeons but he didn't want to worry Alex by voicing his concerns.

"I wish there was more I could do"

Alex sniffed and wiped her eyes the tears finally stopping "Just be there for Piper she's going to need you and I'll feel better knowing she's got you supporting her. She has been so good these last few days I feel guilty for ever doubting her"

Bill turned his face stern "You thought she would run?"

Alex nodded guilty "She did it before when my mum died I was worried she wouldn't cope. I don't think I could survive watching her walk away from me again Bill"

Bill took Alex's hands in his own and squeezed them tightly "She loves you so much Alex you have nothing to fear"

"I know..." Alex trailed off before beginning to laugh her husky chuckle echoing loudly Bill raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"What?"

"She proposed to me on Saturday to prove that point"

Bill laughed a hearty laugh and grinned proudly "Sounds like my girl she never does anything by halves"

"No no she doesn't"

"I hope you said yes Carol will have a bloody heart attack!"

Alex's jaw dropped and Bill laughed heartily laughing louder when Alex recovered and joined in. They continued to chuckle sipping their remaining whisky until Piper came back into the room in her dressing gown a towel wrapped on her head.

"What are you two laughing at?"

Alex just shook her head and Bill smiled when Piper pouted in his direction that look tugging at his heart strings just as it always had since she was a little girl.

"You my darling but it's all positive I promise"

Piper nodded and Bill watched as she settled on Alex's lap, her face settling into one of contentment as Alex's arms wrapped around her waist. Bill knew in that moment he needed to leave there were some very important phone calls he needed to make. If he had his way his daughter would be happy and he was sure as hell going to do everything in his power to make that happen. Even if it meant having to endure a 2 hour car journey home and face a furious and stubborn Carol Chapman for the night.

 **A.N I'm finding I quite like writing Bill Chapman I know some people may not be keen but I think Piper comes across as a real daddy's girl and I like the idea of at least one of her parents supporting her. As always I would love to hear your thoughts :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N I don't really know how to tell every person who has favourited, followed and especially who has reviewed quite how happy it has made me. It has been so fantastic to hear your thoughts on the storyline and opinions especially, as I don't have a beta reader, its only ever been me who has seen the chapters before they are posted. Anyway enough from me I know who you're all really interested in ...**

"Pipes don't you think you should get dressed?"

Piper groaned and nuzzled her head deeper into Alex's lap closing her eyes childishly as if she ignored the question she could stay exactly were she was. Piper felt exhausted and aching, in no mood to do anything than spend a day under this blanket curled into Alex's soft warm body with the TV playing aimlessly in the background. They had been awake for most of the night their overdue emotional discussion had led to desperate passionate sex Piper left needing to feel all of Alex in every way physically and emotionally possible. The conversation regarding the surgery had frightened her, shook her to her very core and she needed the reassurance that Alex was still here, still fighting, still here to love her. Piper had not been able to settle afterwards her body and brain humming after such fulfilling sex and it had led to Piper having a brain wave. Poor Alex had dosed on the bed as Piper had settled herself at the desk in the room and drafted two chapters of her third novel. She had finally stopped typing at about half past four succumbing to her tiredness, it was now showing half past 12 on the clock and they were curled on the couch with coffees watching crap daytime television.

"What time is your meeting?"

"It's only at 2"

Alex chuckled and Piper opened one eye pouting up at her lover.

"Yes but you need to leave with plenty of time. You also need to get dressed and eat before you go"

Piper groaned theatrically stretching her arms high above her head trying to relieve the stiffness in her back "I hate meeting with my financial adviser it's always so boring"

Alex tickled under her arms playfully and Piper squirmed trying to evade the torturous teasing. She was almost successful until she squirmed a little too vigorously sending herself falling to the floor. Alex burst out laughing and Piper couldn't keep the irritation on her face she too collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"Well now you're up you can get dressed"

Piper groaned loudly although it was in good humour and she picked herself up of the floor. A knock sounded at her door and Alex looked at her curiously.

"You expecting someone?"

Piper shook her head and went to investigate. Looking through the spy hole she smiled as she saw the outline of her father his face obscured by the large brown bag he held in his arms.

"Are you moving in?"

Bill just laughed as he stepped through the threshold balancing his bag precariously on one arm so he could press a kiss to Piper's cheek.

"No I brought you lunch! It's from that organic place you always go on about"

Piper's face lit up and she started trying to look in the bag excitedly desperately looking for the tell tale box from her favourite eatery.

"Maggie's?"

Piper pulled out two boxes her face falling when she noticed the logo on the side "This is from the beefeater on the corner?"

Bill just smiled "I never said it was all from Maggie's in your hands are quarter pounder cheese burgers with all the trimmings and they, my dear, are for me and Alex"

Piper watched her father give Alex a roguish wink, before they both fell about laughing and she pretended to huff before extracting her own food container this time with the correct logo.

"I don't know why you both won't try their vegetarian burgers there so much healthier and they taste just as good!" Identical disbelieving faces looked at her and she rolled her eyes "Fine enjoy your heart attack in a box"

Alex sat up eagerly taking her container from Piper with real delight and it made Piper want to hug her father right there and then it was the first time in the last few days Piper had seen Alex show any real enthusiasm over food.

"Thanks for this Bill you shouldn't have"

"Oh should I have picked you up the "release your inner wellbeing" salad as well?"

Alex just pulled her face "God no thanks"

Piper busied herself collecting plates and cutlery from her kitchen all the while smiling gently listened to her father and Alex poke fun at her healthy food. They were so alike their humour, their opinions it still pleased her just how well they got on and sometimes she regretted keeping Alex a secret the first time they were in a relationship. Settling down into the chair now that the couch was occupied with the two people who meant the most to her in life Piper tucked into her lunch relishing the tasty salad.

"You still going to see Sean this afternoon?"

Piper nodded trying to look enthusiastic, her adviser Sean Williams was one of her dads friends and she only went to keep her father happy.

"Good good make sure you tell him I've been asking after him"

Piper nodded quickly wanting to move the conversation onwards catching Alex's eye she tried not to laugh when Alex gave her a knowing smile and her famous eyebrow quirk.

"You got any plans this afternoon Alex?"

Piper watched as Alex's expression remained carefully neutral but her eyes had become guarded. Going out was still a touchy subject Alex's opinion on the matter had not changed and she had been no more receptive to the idea even after visiting the hospital yesterday.

"No I'm just going to chill out here then I think, once Piper's back, we're going to go to my apartment later"

"Oh good you can come with me this afternoon then"

Bill's voice was light, casual almost and he continued eating his burger nonchalantly. Piper looked at her father curious as to what he had planned and her eyes narrowed suspiciously when she saw her fathers foot begin to tap it was always the tell tale sign of nerves with her father and her curiosity flared.

"Er where would we be going?" Alex's eyebrows were sat high on her head the shock she felt clearly on show.

"Oh just out surely you must be fed up of being stuck in and it's a lovely sunny day I just thought it would be nice, I've missed your company Alex"

Piper placed her plate onto her coffee table and turned to her father a kind smile fixed on her face. "That's a lovely offer Daddy but Alex-"

"Would love to come"

Piper turned shocked as Alex spoke, she opened her mouth to retort until Alex gave her a warning look and she snapped her mouth shut still in disbelief. Her fathers smile stretched wide across his face and he clapped his hands together in excitement.

"Excellent we can leave at the same time as Piper. Have you finished with those pickles? They're my favourite"

Alex nodded numbly handing over her plate before she stood shakily "I best start getting ready then it takes me a little longer than it used to. Do I need to wear anything in particular I've only got my jeans?"

Bill shook his head "Casual will be fine"

Alex just smiled hesitantly before she retired to Piper's room to change. Piper waited until the door had closed before she rounded on her father "Ok what's going on?"

"Nothing"

Piper's eyes narrowed further as she scrutinised her fathers face "I don't believe you"

Bill just rolled his eyes "Look I'm trying to make up for acting like an ass yesterday that's all and I knew you would be reluctant to leave her while you go to your meeting"

Piper was loathe to admit her father was right and deep down she was warmed by his kindness although she was still slightly unsettled she was certain there was an ulterior motive at play.

"Well thank you but we're not holding what you said yesterday against you you know, you don't have to make up for anything"

"I know but still I shouldn't have shouted like that even though I meant well I always have been overprotective of my little girl"

"That is true!" Piper hesitated for a moment her face becoming serious "Just be careful please? Alex has been reluctant to go outside look after her for me, please?"

"Of course I will. I may not have been happy when she left you Piper because of how upset she made you but I was also upset because I genuinely like Alex. Honestly I couldn't have picked a better partner for you she's 100 times better than Larry ever was!"

Piper overcome with emotion stood and pressed a kiss to her father's cheek causing him to smile.

"Now go and get changed family friend or not Sean does not need to see you in your pyjamas!"

Piper just grinned and made her way to the bathroom. Once she was dressed and ready Piper went back to where Alex and Bill were already standing ready by the door. Her father had his arm linked through Alex's offering his support and Piper's heart swelled at the kind gesture.

"You all ready?"

Alex nodded, her face slightly worried looking and Piper watched as her father squeezed her arm reassuringly "We're all set"

"You make sure you bring my girlfriend back in one piece and no sneaking back with a bottle of whiskey!"

Piper winked at Alex before bringing their lips together in a tender kiss trying to ease her lovers worry. Bill smiled before he led Alex to the door and Piper waved her fingers at them smiling widely. Her father turned and smirked just as he crossed through the open doorway.

"Don't worry my darling I will make sure your 'fiancée' is returned safely" and Piper's jaw dropped as her father's words filtered through her brain, the door long shut before she could even begin to formulate an appropriate response.

* * *

Pulling into the car park Bill Chapman could feel the nerves building now that he was finally nearing his true destination. He and Alex had been for a drive around the city Bill telling Alex all about how he had moved here desperate to make his money in the big city as a young man and how he met Carol before moving back to Connecticut. Alex had seemed genuinely interested and the conversation between them had flowed easily now though he was worried about how Alex would respond when he told her the real reason for their trip today.

"Are we getting out Bill?"

Bill turned to Alex his face serious and he watched as Alex's smile faltered slightly.

"What happens now is completely your decision Alex either way I will not hold it against you"

Alex looked wary although she tried to play it down "Ok..."

Bill took a deep breath "I've booked you in to see an old friend of mine he's a surgeon the best in his field and I'm hoping you will take the opportunity to meet him" silence that was his response but Bill reasoned he should be grateful it wasn't an immediate no.

"He is a brilliant doctor Alex the waiting list to see him runs into months but he has fitted you in for a consultation this afternoon. I have told him everything you have told me and he expressed a keen interest in speaking with you. I know Dan and he would tell me straight if he thought he could not help"

"Bill how much has this cost you?" Alex's husky voice was tight with emotion.

"Not a lot"

"I can't accept this"

Bill was prepared for this response he knew how proud Alex was, it was a trait that he truly admired in her.

"You can and you should I'm doing this for you and Piper so you can be happy for many more years rather than for just a few short months"

Alex shook her head "No I can't Bill you shouldn't be spending your money on me I'm not worth it"

Bill felt desperation rise up from the pit of his stomach and he turned in his seat seizing Alex by the shoulders resisting the urge to try and physically shake some sense into her.

"Yes you are. You treat my daughter like a princess, you love her with every fibre of your being, you give her everything she needs and more. You are so worth it Alex. Ignoring Piper for a moment you are a great person, a kindred spirit to me and I don't like the idea of you not being a continued part of my own life. I was upset myself when you left Piper I missed your conversation and intellect"

Bill looked seriously at Alex before he quirked his lips wanting to bring back a little lightness "Besides who else can I bitch about Carol too?"

They both chuckled at any family gathering that had happened since Piper had left Litchfield Bill and Alex always congregated in the study away from the rest of the family. Alex finding it a blessed reprieve from Carol and her uptight WASPY manner Bill grateful for an intelligent sparring partner who also understood the need to enjoy a decent scotch.

"I'm not going to make you go in Alex but I really think you should at least hear what Dan has to say. This consultations technically free anyway as a favour so I'm not out of pocket not monetary wise anyway. I have given up a valuable bottle of scotch but I can use this as an excuse to buy more"

Bill relaxed his grip on Alex's shoulders and leant back into his seat "Your appointment is in 5 minutes what will it be?"

Alex looked lost in thought a faraway look in her eyes as she stared out of the windscreen up at the building in front of her.

"You going to accompany me in there?"

Bill wanted to fist pump the air in elation but instead he settled for a beaming smile "Well I wasn't planning on just shoving you out of the car, I did tell Piper I would look out for her fiancée"

Bill quickly exited the car making his away around to the passenger door helping Alex out of the passenger seat keeping a steady hold of her left arm "I wonder if she's still standing in a state of shock"

Alex laughed "She'll go bloody mad I told you"

"Piper always does say you tell me far to much"

"Usually that's because you ply me with whiskey"

Alex protested although it was weak and Bill pulled back a mock look of shock across his features.

"I do not how dare you insinuate such a thing!"

Alex got quieter and quieter the closer they came to the door and once they reached reception she stopped talking completely acknowledging Bill with only nods or grunts. When her name was called Alex had gone white, her hands shaking as she stood.

"Don't look so worried it's just a conversation that's all"

Alex tried to smile in return but it fell flat.

"Go on I'll still be here when you're done"

Bill kept a reassuring smile on his face until Alex entered Dan's office then he sat down heavily into a worn chair in the waiting room and prayed, prayed for a positive outcome.

* * *

When the door opened 45 minutes later Bill leapt up from his seat as if he had been electrocuted his body tingling with anticipation. He looked from Alex to Dan their expressions giving nothing away.

"Well?"

Dan broke out into a huge smile as tears began to stream down Alex's cheeks, she hurled herself towards him and Bill caught her in his arms, supporting her weight as she sobbed into his shirt.

"Dan?"

"Ms Vause is being transferred into my care. It's my professional opinion that I can successfully remove the tumour with no lasting side affects. I will then refer my new patient to a specialised radiographer"

"So you can fix it?"

"I'm almost 90% sure I can remove the tumour without causing any complications or their being any ramifications. Treating the actual cancer will be down to the radiographer. But yes the outlook is positive"

Bill could have kissed him and he squeezed Alex tighter in his arms his own emotion beginning to get the better of him as his eyes watered.

"As the pre op has already been completed and Ms Vause's files are already in the system to be transferred I reckon we will be able to proceed with the surgery as early as the beginning of next week. The sooner the better is my view so I will be in touch as soon as I can schedule you in"

Alex pulled back away from Bill and hastily scrubbed at her cheeks before she shook Dan's hand.

"Thank you, thank you so much"

Dan just smiled "You're very welcome now I must go my next appointment is due in 10 minutes. Bill shall I will contact you regarding the other arrangements?"

Bill nodded knowing he meant payment details and shook Dan's hand his throat still tight with emotion as he watched his old friend return to his office.

"Bill how can I ever repay you"

Bill turned to look at Alex who was now the very picture of happiness and his entire being swelled with relief, his throat loosening he spoke determinedly.

"You fight this god forsaken disease and you remain by Piper's side for the rest of your years together. That's all the repayment I'll ever want or need"

Bill pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek and looped his arm through hers as she shook her head in disbelief the occasional tear still spilling down her cheeks.

"Right lets be off I think we have time to pay a visit to my favourite liquor store before Piper is home"

Alex raised her eyebrows playfully "What will Carol and Piper say"

"Well I need to replace my bottle I've given Dan and you Ms Vause won't be divulging this little detail of our trip"

"Anything you want Bill"

"Brilliant I think I'll buy two! Now let's go the sooner we've picked the best whiskey we can get our hands on the sooner we can get back to Piper to tell her the good news!"

 **A.N Everyone always loves a bit of happiness ... :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**I just loved your reactions to the last chapter :) I think there is quite a lot of love for Bill Chapman which I'm actually really pleased about! Thanks everybody :)**

 **I apologise for this chapter not being as long as the previous couple I haven't been at home this weekend and had struggled to find the time to fit any writing in but hey ho at least this chapter's now here. Enjoy ...**

"I can't tell you how fuckin' happy I am for you Vause"

Nicky's beaming smile said it all and Alex grinned back clinking her non alcoholic beer bottle against her friends in salute.

"This beer is fuckin' crap though"

Alex laughed loudly "Bloody too right but hey any beers better than no beer right? That's what I've been telling Piper anyway"

"I'll drink to that!"

Sipping her beer with her music playing quietly in the background Alex couldn't believe how content she felt in that moment. Times like these had been few and far between in these last few months and she suddenly felt overwhelming grateful that Nicky and Piper had barged their way back into her life.

"Piper's fuckin' ecstatic isn't she? I think I've been deaf ever since she called me to tell me the good news"

"Trust me you have no idea"

Piper had been walking around on cloud 9 the last few days ever since Bill and Alex had arrived back from the specialist. Alex thought she would self combust at the news when she had sat her down and told Piper everything Dan had said. Piper had let out a half scream half soband hurled herself into Alex's arms her whole body shaking. The tears had fallen but they had been tears of happiness a welcome change from the months of devastation they had each suffered both individually and together. Every night since they had fallen asleep exhausted their sated bodies sweaty and entwined Alex felt like they had been given a new lease of life and they were determined to enjoy it as much as physically possible.

"So were is Chapman this evening?"

"She's gone to her parents she'll be back by tonight"

Nicky raised an eyebrow "You not fancy it?"

Alex shook her head pulling her face slightly "I haven't seen Carol since before I walked out on Piper and to be honest I couldn't be arsed dealing with her not right now. The fake sympathy, the probing questions nah no thanks"

"Yeah I can imagine that's not high up on your priorities right now"

Alex snorted "No and to be honest I don't know whether Bill had told her about him bank rolling my treatment if he has then I'd be lucky to come out alive!"

Nicky laughed loudly "I reckon Piper would take her down before she even had a chance. She's like a fuckin' lioness when it comes down to you"

Alex smiled serenely "When that Chapman temper makes an appearance you run even I won't take on Pipes when that temper's brewing"

Nicky nudged Alex with her arm almost spilling her beer in the process "Look at you, you fuckin' sap you've practically got hearts coming out of your eyes"

Alex just chuckled and shoved Nicky back causing the redhead to spill her beer into her lap and curse loudly.

"Yeah well I'm allowed to become gooey eyed over my fiancée"

Nicky finished dabbing at her top trying to rid some of the excess beer that was settling into her top.

"I still can't believe she proposed"

"Me neither I thought she was joking" Alex shook her head the memory vivid in her mind "I thought she was just grasping at straws saying anything to convince me to let her stay but she's still insistent that we're engaged and at some point we'll tie the knot"

Nicky just grinned wickedly "I hope I get to be your 'best man' I'll do a cracking speech"

Alex mock scowled raising a hand to her chest "What makes you think I'm the man in this relationship?"

"Oh please I think it's a fair assumption you fuckin' exude power, confidence and cockiness. You could kick the shit out of anyone who tried it on and although you pretend you're in control Piper has you wrapped around her little finger"

Nicky raised her eyebrow smirking devilishly "Plus you know you would look fit as fuck in a perfectly sculpted tux with your figure"

Alex smirked cockily "I look 'fit as fuck' in anything Nichols I reckon I could make you drool wearing a black bin bag"

"Wanna give it a go" Nicky raised her eyebrows suggestively and they both fell about laughing.

"So when are you booked in for your surgery?"

Alex hesitated and as the seconds passed Nicky's eyes narrowed. Alex was the only person, other than her consultant, who knew the date of her operation. She had been keeping it a closely guarded secret while she had internally debated over how she wanted to proceed. Even with all the enthusiasm Dan had shown in the meeting Alex still knew there was still a chance, no matter how small, that she would either die on the operating table or come out from the anaesthetic not even knowing her own name. The thought of having to tell Piper she loved her as if for the final time made her squirm internally, she didn't want the grand farewell before she was wheeled into theatre it just didn't sit well with her. Alex would rather quietly slope away have the operation and return to the hospital ward without the big farewell but she knew that Piper wouldn't allow it, wouldn't even consider the idea. Alex knew it was selfish, she truly did, but it was also something she felt really strongly about.

"You fuckin' kidding me"

Alex winced knowing the guilty look on her face had shown throughout her inner monologue.

"Please tell me that my warped brain is just jumping to conclusions. Who else knows your surgery date if you're not willing to tell me?"

Alex schooled her features into one of nonchalance "Me and my surgeon"

"What about Piper?"

Nicky's voice was as cold as ice and Alex actually wanted to shrink under her icy stare.

"I haven't told her yet"

Nicky shook her head "No that's bullshit why would you not tell her?! She has been on eggshells, waiting for this bloody phone call and it's come and you haven't fuckin' told her!"

"Now come on Nicky calm down-"

"Calm down!? You two will be the fuckin' death of me I swear! You constantly fuck the other one over while trying to protect the other how the fuck does that happen!"

Alex could feel her irritation building as Nicky's voice became louder "Fuck off Nichols everything I've fucking done has been in Piper's best interests!"

"Oh and Piper agrees with this opinion does she?"

Alex seethed feeling the pressure in her head building the pain over her right eye spiking "You know she doesn't"

"Exactly! It doesn't fuckin' work! You need to tell her! What were you planning to do? Leave the apartment for some milk and not return?!"

Alex opened her mouth to retort before she realised that in a way that was exactly what she had planned to do.

"You're a fuckin' selfish cow Vause" Nicky was looking at her with thinly veiled disgust "You keep pushing and pushing Piper with your idiotic shit its like you actually want her to leave you. Well one day she might if she has to keep putting up with this sort of shit and what will you do? Sit there and say you always knew she would like a fuckin' martyr"

Alex couldn't reply Nicky's words cuttingly her deeply but at the same time her own stubbornness still burned beneath the surface.

"I'm not trying to push her away I don't want her to leave I don't, I just... I just... Eurghh! I can't explain it I just don't want that last goodbye what if turns out to be just that the last fucking one?"

Alex let some of the fear she had been closely hiding from everyone around her seep into her voice and she watched Nicky sigh heavily the anger leaving her as she settled back into the couch cushions a resigned look creasing her features.

"Listen Vause I think you should tell her she's your fiancée she's entitled to know the day your heads gonna be hacked open"

Alex winced and touched her head instictively "Nice expression Nichols"

"Oh sorry 'When they surgically remove the alien matter sapping the life force from your body' that sound better to you?"

Alex chuckled weakly "Not really but thanks for trying"

"I'm only looking out for you, you know that right? I'm not on anyone's side here. I just don't want you causing anymore stress to either of you"

"I know Nic and I appreciate it I really do but just let me deal with this please? I'm already fuckin' shitting myself I just need to do this in my own time" Alex visibly slumped as Nicky smiled slightly and nodded the tension disappearing for now as Nicky stood up heading towards the fridge.

"Another shit beer?"

"Well how can I say no to that?"

* * *

Piper was whimpering incoherently, her body drenched in sweat, desperately arching up to meet Alex's touch. Her face was creased in anticipation one hand was clenched tightly around the headboard the other was painfully wrapped in Alex's hair. Alex's head was pounding the pain causing her vision to blur in her right eye and her left arm to shake uncontrollably but she was not stopping, not yet, not until Piper fell apart underneath her at least once more. Fear and worry had manifested into desperation Alex felt like she needed to consume Piper desperate to show her how much she loved her. Alex didn't do soppy declarations of affection finding it awkward and uncomfortable six earth shattering orgasms however was something she could do and she was determined to push Piper through her seventh.

"Al..."

Piper was practically in tears begging for release but Alex decided to prolong her torture for a little longer. Pulling back abruptly Alex blew softly over Piper's trembling pussy lips pinning Piper's thighs down as they instinctively tried to close.

"Al please ... I can't take anymore it's too much"

Alex smirked as she blew again the sheets were already soaked through, the heady scent of Piper's arousal thick in the air and Alex felt intoxicated on the smell.

"You will cum again for me Piper"

Alex watched as Piper's eyes widened and she seemed to struggle to respond. Not wanting to wait a second longer Alex ran her tongue from Piper's opening to her hardened clit, groaning gently herself at the heady taste and revelling in the arch of Piper's hips and the guttural moan that was like music to her ears.

"Show me how much you love me and fucking cum"

Reaching up Alex wrapped an arm around Piper's leg and pressed her hand firmly into her hip effectively pinning her in place. She then began to worship the body underneath her alternating between long strokes of her tongue and swirling and sucking Piper's clit. Piper's hand tightened in her hair holding her as close as possible the hold was almost painful but to Alex it was becoming pleasurable, taking the edge of her pounding headache and she concentrated hard on bringing Piper closer to orgasm. Plunging her tongue inside the fiery heat nearly had Piper ripping Alex's hair from her head and her whimpering grew more pronounced. feeling the slick hot walls beginning to contract against her tongue Alex moved her hand and thrust three fingers into Piper's pulsating heat her tongue coming to rest on her scorching clit.

"Fuck Alex... fuck fuck fuck"

Alex curled her fingers smirking pressing hard against the fleshy wall where she knew Piper's g-spot was never releasing the pressure from her tongue.

The effect was instantaneous.

Piper cried out her body convulsing violently and Alex chin was immediately soaked with her release as she continued to spasm violently obscenities spilling from her mouth. Alex continued to lick and suck determined to draw every last bit of pleasure from Piper's sated body as it quivered and trembled riding out the last waves of her orgasm.

"Al... Come up here please?"

Alex reluctantly dragged her exhausted body up into Piper's embrace and let her head settle on Piper's chest. Piper ran a gentle hand up and down her bare back and Alex felt some of the tension in her body ease at the soothing sensation.

"Not that I'm complaining but is there a reason you have been so generous tonight?"

Alex just grunted and turned her attention to the nipple closest to her nibbling and sucking on the still erect tip. Piper's body squirmed and her face was pulled from her body by two shaking hands.

"I can't take anymore Al" Piper smiled at her gently but Alex found she couldn't smile back.

"You know I love you right?"

Piper's face beamed but then gave way to confusion at the seriousness of her voice "Of course I do"

"Are you sure?"

Piper laughed although she still wore a confused expression "Of course I'm sure. I know you love me Alex"

"Even after everything I put you through?" Alex needed to know, needed to be certain.

"Yes Alex I know now why you thought you had to do what you did and I know it was never down to the fact that you didn't love me anymore. In fact in your own way you did it because of how much you love me whether I agree with it or not"

Alex remained silent as she battled internally with her own demons and she watched as Piper's expression changed to concern.

"What's going on Alex?"

"Nothing"

The reply was too quick to be believable and Alex sighed irritated with herself and she pushed her exhausted body up quickly immediately wishing she hadn't. White hot pain erupted above her right eye her head feeling as though it was being split in two, her ears throbbed, white noise ringing as if she was being held underwater. Her eyes began to water with the intensity her left arm and leg shaking uncontrollably and an involuntary moan was pulled from deep within her.

"Alex?!"

Piper's voice was panicked and Alex willed her vision to clear as she groped blindly for Piper's hand.

"M ok"

"Lie down Alex let me go and get your painkillers"

Alex fell heavily into the pillows grateful when Piper turned out the bedroom light as she left the room. Now waiting for Piper the worry began to build again she still couldn't decide whether to talk to her love or not. Her brain was shouting no take the cowardly way out, her heart telling her to man the fuck up and speak to the woman she loved. Alex groaned no wonder her head was pounding there was just too many thoughts battling around her brain and she shut her eyes tightly willing her mind to settle. Feeling the bed dip next to her Alex opened one eye just able to make out Piper's worried face in the darkness.

"Here you go my love"

Alex sat up sluggishly and gratefully took the pills. The moment she had swallowed she let herself fall back down the pounding in her head overpowering her.

"Try and sleep Alex you've overdone it tonight you need to rest"

Piper sat up leaning against the headboard and Alex allowed herself to be pulled into Piper's embrace her head coming to rest on Piper's lap. Alex instantly sighed when Piper's hand wound through her hair and began massaging her scalp.

"Kid..."

"Shhh Al go to sleep we'll talk in the morning"

Icy dread settled over Alex and she struggled against the overwhelming tiredness but it was futile the urge to sleep too strong.

"Mmm sorry"

Allowing the darkness to envelope her Alex prayed for forgiveness, her last thought tomorrow would be too late.

 **A.N I hope I don't make any of you too angry with Alex's plan ...**


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N 101 reviews! I actually jumped up and squealed when I realised I was so overwhelmed! Thank you to every single person who has left a comment and extra thanks to those who have reviewed each chapter.**

 **I don't know how well this one is going to be received but fingers crossed hopefully you will enjoy...**

Piper couldn't quite work out how she was still functioning at a normal rate considering how little sleep she had managed to have over the last two days. The night before last she had fallen asleep with Alex in her arms after she was certain the brunette was fast asleep and that the pain in her head had been successfully dulled for the time being. That morning when she had awoken this current nightmarish existence had began.

After waking up to an empty bed Piper had presumed Alex was in the bathroom, when the apartment had remained quiet Piper had began to worry and she had gone looking for Alex around the silent flat. The moment she had spied the envelope bearing her name, sitting almost innocently on the kitchen worktop, the bottom had fallen out of her stomach and as of yet it had not returned. One piece of paper had brought both elation and absolute devastation, Alex had gotten her surgery quicker than Piper had dared to hope for but had neglected to tell Piper about it before she left.

Piper's emotions, since the early hours of yesterday morning, had been in complete turmoil, swinging from pure terror and worry to rage and anger. She was furious at Alex for leaving her in the dark yet again but she was so worried about her lover who had endured a long and arduous surgery on one of the most important organs in her body. Dan had called her father late last night just to tell him that Alex had awoken for a few seconds that evening before falling back into a deep sleep and that everything was looking as it should be. It was now the following night and so far Piper had not been able to bring herself to go to the hospital. She had lost count of how many times she had sat at the wheel of her car in the car park staring at the road ahead of her, willingly herself to start the engine but each time she had caved into her anger and returned to the safety of her flat. Her father had called her again in the afternoon pleading for her to go to the hospital but she had stubbornly replied that Alex would not want her there and she was not making the mistake of turning up unannounced. Bill had argued that she was being cowardly and selfish and Piper had erupted, her words had been caustic and hurtful born out of anger and insecurity, she was frightened and the one person who she needed to comfort her couldn't.

Curled up now on her couch she had her blanket pulled over her head hiding her from the outside world Alex's jumper firmly wrapped around her hands her fingers twisting and pulling nervously at the worm fabric. There was a loud banging on her door and Piper just sat and ignored the continued knocking not feeling like she could deal with socialising when she could barely deal with the darkness swirling in her head. The knocking didn't cease and as she heard her neighbour begin to yell Piper dragged herself from her makeshift shelter and moved sluggishly towards the door. When she opened the door and Nicky came rushing through pulling her tightly into her arms the emotion erupted and Piper broke down into a sobbing mess in Nicky's embrace.

"Sshh Chapman it's ok, everything's going to be fine"

Piper let Nicky rock her back and forth on the uncomfortable wooden floor until her knees went numb beginning to ache in protest.

"How could she not tell me"

Nicky just sighed and squeezed her tightly before she lifted Piper upwards and guided them back into the living room.

"I only found out myself this afternoon your dad called he's worried about the pair of you"

Piper snorted "Well he doesn't need to worry about me"

"Oh I beg to differ Piper this is just as hard for you"

"Yeah well Alex doesn't seem to think so"

Piper's tone was biting, scathing even and Nicky visibly flinched.

"I've been to see her they're keeping her in intensive care but she has woken up twice, although only for a minute or two, which is positive"

Piper felt elated for a moment before the crippling anger descended once again twisting her body into knots.

"Piper I think you should go and see her. She can't stay awake long and she's very disorientated, speech isn't coming easily but apparently Piper seems to be quite high up on her word count as in its the only word she can say according to the nurse"

Piper felt guilty she pictured Alex lying hooked up to all sorts of machines crying out for her and tears built in her eyes.

"I'm so angry with her Nic"

"I know and with good reason but look at it from her point of view she must have been so frightened that it would be a last goodbye she obviously felt she couldn't go through with it. I don't think she felt she could physically walk away from you again"

"And sloping off in the morning behind my back was a better option was it!? She never gave me a second thought!"

Nicky shook her head "I'm not saying it was I'm just trying to get you to be reasonable. You know deep down that Alex will have agonised over this decision and in her head she will have been trying to protect you. I also know no matter how angry you're feeling you are also worried and that worry isn't going to go away until you've seen she's ok for yourself"

Piper just stared moodily at the corner of the room ignoring Nicky's concerned gaze.

"She looks terrible like, heads a fuckin' mass of dried blood and staples like something out of a horror movie and she's completely away with it on pain meds but she's alive and still your Alex she just needs her Piper"

Piper scoffed although it was through tears that had begun to shimmer in her eyes.

"Alex didn't want her Piper yesterday, didn't want her fiancée anyway near her while she prepared for life saving surgery! What if something had happened Nicky what if there had been complications she could have died and I wouldn't have been there, I wouldn't have even fucking known until it was too late!"

Nicky looked at sympathetically and she took Piper's hand tightly in her own.

"Look I get it Piper, trust me I really do, but you need to be the bigger person. She's not out of the woods yet can you really live with yourself knowing she's stuck in a hospital bed barely able to stay awake, can't string a sentence together but still wondering where you are, asking for you, while you sit here sulking?"

"Fuck you Nicky"

The words although harsh lacked bite as the full weight of Nicky's words rested on her soul. It was true if anything happened... Piper couldn't even finish that thought her blood running cold and she turned to look at Nicky's anxious face.

"I argued with my dad before"

"Oh?"

"He said I was proving Alex right, that I'm doing my own version of running away as shit gets real" Piper's voice shook "I was furious with him told him were to stick his opinion but I suppose he's right I am proving that I can't stick it out, hiding away in a self righteous huff instead of confronting the issue head on"

Piper sniffed loudly her own self loathing raising its ugly head and she reached blindly for the tissue Nicky was holding out to her.

"Alex always thinks she knows what's best for me but she forgets I'm a grown adult with my own opinions. I thought I'd got through to her about making decisions for me but obviously she didn't listen and it just makes me so mad Nic"

Nicky chuckled sympathetically "I know, you're the most volatile couple I know but also the most loved up couple I think I will ever meet" Nicky gestured wildly her arms flailing as she spoke passionately "You love her so much and she worships the ground you walk on. Just sometimes you are so obsessed with not hurting one another you make everything 100 times worse!"

Piper laughed, her soul instantly feeling lighter at the simple action, at the truth in Nicky's words and at the absurdity that sometimes was her relationship. As if the laughter had cleared away the turmoil in her mind the enormity of the situation suddenly dawned bright and clear in her mind and she knew exactly what she needed to do, where she needed to be.

"Did the nurse say if they had specific visiting hours?"

"They booted me out at teatime"

Piper's heart sank although she tried not to look too devastated knowing that it was her own stubborn fault and hating herself for it.

"But she did say if 'Piper' was to make an appearance that she would be quite welcome at anytime"

Nicky smiled wildly and Piper met her infectious smile with a small one of her own.

"Get your coat Chapman we've got a hospital to get to"

* * *

Walking along the white corridor unsettled Piper she never had liked hospitals she was certain it was something to do with the sterile smell that seemed to seep into your very pores. Nicky was brusquely leading the way marching forward as if she owned the place and Piper was grateful for her presence, she was certain by now she would have been incredibly lost. They approached a set of heavy double doors labelled ICU and Nicky gestured to a kind faced nurse sitting at a desk on the other side.

"I'm sorry visiting hours are over our patients need their rest and I don't know if you've realised it but it is almost half past 11"

"Yeah yeah I know but I've brought Alex Vause something that she doesn't want to be without"

The nurse rolled her eyes her voice becoming irritated "Unless it's 'Piper' I'm not interested I can't get Ms Vause to even attempt the observations she's too distracted and neither could the nurse this afternoon"

Hearing her name Piper stepped forward a hesitant smile fixed in place "Hi I'm Piper"

The nurse raised her eyebrows her face stern and unsmiling and Piper felt her stomach churn.

"So you're the famous fiancée. Well I'm glad you've made an appearance every time Alex has awoken she has been distressed mumbling your name repeatedly. Although I'm told she did settle before when a Miss Nichols told her you would be along later"

Piper gave Nicky a grateful smile along with a gentle squeeze silently thanking her for her support when she knew she had been in the wrong sulking at home not being here were she was evidently needed.

"So Miss Chapman I think we can make an exception if you would like to come with me?"

The nurse looked at her imploringly and Piper nodded her head quickly "Thanks for everything Nicky I'll call you in the morning?"

"Yeah make sure you do" and with a nod to the nurse Nicky was off whistling loudly to the nurse's obvious displeasure. They made their way quickly to a side room not far from the nurse's station and Piper tried to look through the window but the blinds had been drawn shut.

"Alex is hooked up to many machines and other medical equipment there's a drain to take away excess fluid from the brain to prevent swelling and she's got an oxygen mask, blood pressure monitor, a morphine pump and various other pieces. It all looks rather scary but it's all necessary so that we can monitor and aide her recovery"

Piper nodded trying to force down the nerves she could feel building.

"You are quite welcome to stay the night, once she is transferred to a normal ward I'm afraid that is a luxury you will, more than likely, not be permitted so I would take full advantage"

"Thank you so much"

The nurse nodded and opened the door for Piper gesturing her forward "I'll keep popping in to check on Alex's progress so don't be alarmed when I appear in the doorway. Now just another warning the incision is rather alarming looking please do not worry I can assure you it's perfectly normal"

Piper nodded gratefully and made her way into the dimly lit room coming to a standstill as her eyes took in the sight of Alex lying immobile in the hospital bed. Even though she had thought she was prepared the image made her recoil back slightly before she could bring her body under control. Alex was deathly pale the gruesome incision which was at least 5 inches long standing out garishly against her shaved scalp on the right side of her head. There was a drain fitted the bloodied contents trickling ever so slightly through the clear tube and knowing it was Alex's brain fluid made her shudder. The hair around the shaved incision was matted with blood and the sight made Piper feel slight queasy her stomach lurching upwards.

"It's alright Piper" the nurse's voice was gentle and calming and she let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry I thought I knew what to expect it's just..."

"It's always scary we've had family members burst into uncontrollable sobbing before no amount of preparation readies you for the reality of looking at the person you love like this"

Piper just nodded and gingerly sat down in the chair next to Alex's bed grateful it was on Alex's left side, it meant she couldn't clearly see the incision. She immediately took Alex's hand in her own grateful for the comforting presence, pleased that the skin in her hand was warm proving that the life was still beating through her beloved. Piper brought the hand in her own up to her mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to Alex's palm before cupping Alex's hand against her own cheek her fluttering heart instantly calming at the familiar contact.

"Hey my darling, oh God look at you" a traitorous tear ran down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly, conscious of the nurse still standing in the room.

"I'm here now, I'm here and I'm not leaving so you don't need to worry anymore"

Piper watched in fascination as Alex's brow furrowed her right arm beginning to twitch sporadically every few minutes and she jumped up waiting, hoping until eventually Alex's eyelids fluttered and Piper found herself staring into deep green eyes.

"Hey it's me love, it's me I'm here" Piper ran a hand delicately across Alex's brow, terrified of causing her any pain, as tears pricked her eyelids from the overwhelming feeling of joy that washed over her at seeing Alex awake. Alex smiled tiredly under her oxygen mask and her right hand came up from the bed labouredly trying to touch Piper's face.

"P..Pi..Pi..er?"

Piper grasped Alex's flailing arm and placed it to her cheek tightly reassuring Alex that she was really there.

"Yes I'm here, I'm here and you're going to be fine babe. I love you and I'm so proud of you"

Alex continued to smile up at Piper through heavy eyes until the nurse bustled up to the bed she too smiling brightly.

"Hello Alex"

Alex's eyes tracked the voice and her eyes narrowed slightly before she looked between the nurse and Piper once more.

"P..Pi..Pi..Piper"

Piper was fighting the urge to worry at Alex's speech and lack of words but the nurse did not look at all perturbed she merely grinned and nodded in Piper's direction.

"Yes I've finally met your fiancée she's even more gorgeous in the flesh isn't she?"

Alex tried to incline her head immediately clenching her eyes shut a pained hiss escaping between her teeth.

"Don't move your head gesture if you have to but moving your head will be agonising for a while yet"

Alex grumbled and Piper fought down the urge to scold her knowing it would be futile. The nurse shooed Piper away from the side of the bed ignoring Alex's glare as she set about completing the first of her routine checks. These involved shining a light in Alex's eyes asking her various questions and checking the movement within her arms and legs. Alex's right side was moving although it was incredibly laboured but when the nurse asked Alex to move either her left arm or left leg there was no response. Alex was becoming visibly frustrated and Piper found herself becoming irritated at the nurse for causing Alex distress.

"Are you nearly done?"

The nurse nodded her head thoughtfully and continued to update the charts on her clipboard before she smiled a reassuring smile at a perturbed Alex.

"Don't worry about the lack of movement for now it has only been 32 hours your brain still needs plenty of rest"

Piper moved swiftly back to Alex's side and ran a comforting hand down Alex's arm.

"The same with the speech you just need to let your body heal"

Alex's scowl deepened and she rolled her eyes. The nurse didn't look impressed and when she spoke her tone was severe.

"This is going to be a long process you need to have patience if you push yourself too hard too soon you will only make the recovery more difficult"

Piper pressed a kiss to Alex's brow and took her hand back in her own smiling positively trying to ease Alex's frustration that was evident across her features. The nurse finished her writing and set the charts back onto the end of the bed before she fiddled with one of the machines next to Alex's bed.

"Right I've increased your morphine ever so slightly to take the edge of any pain. I'll see you in about 4 hours when I wake you for your next observations"

Piper thanked her softly and watched as the nurse quietly left the room. Once the door closed Piper turned back to Alex to see her love staring at her intently her eyes heavy with exhaustion.

"You need to get some more sleep"

Alex mumbled incoherently before she grunted her right arm coming to grasp Piper's shirt collar as tightly as she could. Piper covered Alex's hand locked on her shirt with her own and looked at her worriedly.

"What is it love?"

"S..so..y"

Piper looked confused for a moment but looking at Alex's crestfallen expression it didn't take long for Piper to put two and two together. Now that she was here in this room seeing Alex and the obvious proof of exactly what she had endured over these last 32 hours Piper could no longer muster up the same furious rage at being kept in the dark over Alex's surgery. Yes it had hurt and yes they would have to talk about it at some point in the future but right now looking at Alex's face creased with worry over her feelings while she had a 5 inch gash in her head Piper found she no longer cared. Now it was her own selfish actions that she felt more strongly about.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. If anybody should be sorry it's me I sat and sulked at home instead of being here by your side. I'm such a terrible person Al I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

Tears built in Piper's eyes and she found a crushing guilt building in her stomach.

"Look at you, look what you're going through and I couldn't stop being selfish enough to be here when you woke up"

Piper held Alex's hand tightly in her own and kept her head bowed feeling so ashamed that she couldn't even bring herself to meet Alex's gaze.

"I don't know how you can even stand to look at me but I'm not leaving, I will not let you wake up on your own again ok? I promise"

Alex's hand pulled free from her grasp and she clumsily clutched Piper's chin and jerkily raised her head. Alex's eyes shone with love and Piper felt momentarily overwhelmed as Alex smiled at her reassuringly and Piper felt her heart melt at the sight. Pulling Alex's oxygen mask away from her face Piper pressed her lips to Alex's in a chaste kiss trying to convey the enormity of her feelings.

"L..l..l..."

Alex's face was pinched with frustration the words she wanted to say refusing to come out but Piper knew exactly what the love of her life was trying to tell her.

"I love you too now go to sleep I'll be here when you wake up"

Piper placed the oxygen mask back over Alex's nose and mouth and she smoothed her hair gently back away from the left side of her face. Alex looked as though she was trying to fight the urge to close her eyes and Piper stroked a finger across her brow and placed a kiss to the hand in her own.

"Sleep my darling"

As if she had been waiting for Piper's permission Alex let her eyes slide shut and she was fast asleep in a matter of seconds. Piper too felt the tiredness wash over her and she rested her head on the edge of Alex's bed against her thigh letting the warmth of her body ease her into a restless sleep.

 **A.N This is one of my favourite chapters so far so I really hope you all enjoyed :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N 15 reviews for the last chapter WOW! all I can say is 'How freakin' awesome!' thanks guys sooo much :) It has been brilliant to hear your response to a chapter that I loved writing as much as I did and I am honestly truly grateful.**

 **I have had one guest review say they are particularly unhappy that I made Piper apologise for not being at the hospital. I agree Alex was in the wrong it was a terrible thing to do but Piper is torn up with guilt because of the situation and the enormity of seeing Alex in the state she was in lying in a hospital bed. Also no matter what I had done to upset the person I love I hope they would be there for me after brain surgery! But I am pretty sure Piper will have something to say about it in the near future. (I hope that explains my reasoning a little better and I am sorry you were disappointed)**

 **Now lets get back to our favourite love birds ...**

"Miss Chapman? Piper right?"

Piper took a deep breath while grabbing her coffee from the machine painting a smile on her face as she did so. It had been a long sleepless night and this would be her first coffee the idea of socialising before her first hot drink of the day almost causing her to shudder.

"That's me who's asking?"

Her tone was short but she found she did not care too sleep deprived to even muster the feeling of embarrassment at being so blunt.

"I'm Dan Walters Alex's surgeon, I went to university with your father"

The grouchiness disappeared and Piper eagerly took his offered hand in her own shaking it warmly "It's so good to meet you, thank you, thanks for everything"

Dan smiled "You're very welcome I was wondering could I have a few minutes of your time for a quick chat?"

Piper nodded eagerly and Dan clapped his hands in reply and wide smile spreading across his cheeks "Great if you could just follow me then"

After walking through the hospitals warren like corridors they settled into an empty interview room and Piper looked around curiously it was not what she had expected.

"This is just my temporary office I'm usually based at my own practice so they just shove me in here when I'm on duty. It's a bit dull and depressing but as I'm not here very often I suppose it does the trick"

Piper just nodded eager to press the conversation along she wanted to be back with Alex before she woke up after the promise she made the night before.

"The surgery went as well as it could have done we managed to remove the tumour in its entirety which is a huge positive considering just how large the tumour was. If Alex continues to recover well I will am hopefully in a few days I can sign her off to be moved to a normal ward"

Piper beamed her cheeks actually hurting from the size of her smile.

"These next few days she's going to sleep alot when she wakes it will only be for short intervals but this is just the body's way of healing itself. We will need to monitor her carefully and the recovery process will be long and most likely be arduous in places. With the frontal lobe being affected and after reading the nurses note from this morning Alex will almost definitely need rehabilitation to help regain full function in the left side of her body and she possibly may need to see a speech therapist depending on how she progresses"

Piper's smile faltered but she nodded seriously this was not a surprise to her but she knew Alex would not be happy.

"At the moment we are pumping her full of steroids to stop any swelling occurring and to prevent infection. The nurse has mentioned this morning that Alex's temperature is slightly raised and has increased through the night this is something I plan to keep a close eye on"

Piper wished she had a pen and paper she felt as though she should be documenting every word not wanting to forget any of the information given.

"Once Alex is home and the healing process is well on its way I will be in touch to discuss radiotherapy just to eradicate any remaining cancerous cells that we may have missed"

Piper's breath caught in her throat and she looked at Dan with wide eyes "Does this mean she's going to be ok?"

Dan smiled reassuringly "I'm feeling very positive Piper we will always have to monitor Alex throughout the remainder of her life to make sure the tumour doesn't return but at the moment she's fighting this and your fiancée is winning"

Piper struggled to hold back her elation and she stood up grabbing Dan around the shoulders squeezing him tightly.

"I don't know how to thank you" Dan chuckled and he looked at her his face red with embarrassment.

"I'm just doing my job Piper. If you want to thank anyone thank your father for contacting me and thank Alex for fighting for you"

Dan shuffled the papers on his makeshift desk and Piper watched as he updated the notes in a file marked A. Vause. Piper was just about to ask whether that was all when Dan's pager bleeped noisily. Picking up the offending item from where it was still droning on the edge of the desk Piper watched as Dan studied the pager before he glanced up at her worriedly then busied himself attaching the pager back to his hospital scrubs.

"Piper I need to check on a patient I think you should wait here for a moment"

Piper was certain that her heart had physically skipped a beat "Is it Alex?"

Dan faltered and Piper's fear was instantly confirmed "What's happened?"

"It's nothing unusual but Alex is suffering from a convulsion if you could just remain here I will be back momentarily" before Piper could reply Dan swept from the room hurriedly.

For a moment Piper stood stock still in shock before her brain recovered and she forced herself back out of the room and into the corridor. Trying to gain her bearings Piper ran blindly in the direction she thought the ICU was and she let out a huge breath of relief when the familiar double doors came into view. Bursting in Piper was greeted by Alex's nurse who caught hold of her mid stride blocking Alex's room from her view.

"Piper I think it would be best if you wait outside"

Piper snapped her nerves fuelling her temper "No fucking way"

She fought past the insistent hands forcing her way into Alex's room her blood running cold as the sound of the machines blaring echoed in her ears and the hospital bed came into view.

"Alex..."

Two nurses where struggling to hold Alex's body still as her limbs shook and shuddered through powerful convulsions she had dislodged the clip monitoring her heart beat causing the machine to drone loudly. Dan was holding her arm down firmly, his face set in concentration, as he injected a clear solution directly into her vein.

"Anti-convulsant has been administered hold her steady I do not want that shunt being dislodged"

Blood had pooled under the gauze around Alex's head wound causing Piper to choke down the bile she could feel rising at the sight. For a few minutes Alex continued to shake violently, the awful sound of gurgling mixing with the machine wail as froth built at her mouth, beginning to seep underneath the oxygen mask, trickling down Alex's neck. Dan pulled the oxygen mask away and tilted Alex's head gently towards him Piper presumed to stop Alex from choking. Piper felt helpless and she surged forward,skirted around Dan ignoring his warning glance and took Alex's hand firmly in her own before placing her lips as close to Alex's ear as she could.

"It's ok my darling you're ok shhh just relax, just relax let the medication do its work"

Piper knew she was rambling but she needed to feel as though she was doing something to help she placed one hand firmly on to Alex's shoulder helping the nurses hold her steady.

"Don't be frightened its normal, Dan says it's not unusual and you've never done anything by halves have you. I'm going to stay here and you are going to be just fine"

Piper ignored the other occupants in the room feeling their gazes burning into her. The shuddering began to ease slowly and eventually Alex's body stilled and the room let out a collective sigh of relief.

"It's ok now Piper the medication is doing its job and Alex should be fine we'll assess her immediately when she awakes. Fits occur as the nerves are healing in the brain as they are fixing back together they can 'short circuit' resulting in the body suffering convulsions"

Piper couldn't look at him afraid that she would cry if she did instead she just lifted Alex's hand to her lips and placed a kiss to her knuckles letting herself sink into the chair by the bedside.

"I'll be in touch Piper, Nurse Stevens can you keep me updated? Any change I want to be notified immediately" Alex's nurse nodded and the rest of medical team followed Dan as he left the room swiftly.

"I'm sorry for fighting you" Piper felt guilty now that the panic had abdicated she knew the nurse was only trying to do her job.

"I was just trying to save you from the sight. It's never pleasant and I can only imagine how painful it is to watch someone you love in this situation"

Piper nodded watching Nurse Stevens carefully clean the blood from around the shunt in Alex's head before applying a new patch of gauze.

"Can you pass me a tissue?"

The nurse quirked an eyebrow but she did as asked and Piper made quick work of wiping Alex's chin and oxygen mask clean. The nurse continued to work in silence and Piper lent her head against Alex's bicep as a wave of tiredness passed over her making her body slump. The adrenaline that had been coursing through her body had now evaporated leaving her to feel wrung out. Piper hoped and prayed there were no more complications today she wasn't quite certain her nerves would stand it in her exhausted state.

"So Alex was telling me all about you when she arrived she said it's only recently you proposed. Do you have any ideas for your wedding yet? Alex was a bit vague"

Piper snorted at the question but secretly she was glad for the distraction she didn't want to think about the mornings activities anymore.

"No, none at all, I don't know whether I'll ever get this one down the aisle"

The nurse just looked at her confusedly "She said yes right?"

Piper laughed "Not really..."

Nurse Stevens looked suitably puzzled so Piper quickly expanded "She agreed to to us being fiancées after much cajoling. Alex has never been one for traditions but I really would love nothing more than to be Mrs Alex Vause I don't think she knows how much it would mean to me to be officially hers"

Piper smiled wistfully "To Alex it's just a piece of paper that doesn't prove anything but to me it's an important piece of paper that actually means something"

Piper shook herself from her monologue blushing slightly "I'm sorry I'm rambling"

The nurse placed a comforting hand on her shoulder "Hey It's fine don't you worry"

Nurse Stevens checked all the different machine's readings and updated the patient notes before she smirked at Piper on her way out.

"You'll have plenty of free time if you're planning on staying here why don't you get yourself some wedding brochures?"

Piper let out a hearty laugh "And cause Alex to have another fit when she wakes up to me reading brides weekly I don't think so!"

* * *

"Don't worry I'll try not to disturb her but I need to do these observations they're really important"

Piper kept her eyes closed feigning sleep she had awoken the moment the door handle had been turned but for a moment she just wanted to listen quietly while coming around slowly from her sleepy state.

"You can take that scowl of your face the more you cooperate the quicker you will be able to go home"

Piper had to hold in a chuckle she could clearly picture the indignant look that Alex would be sporting but Piper was just happy she was awake after this mornings episode. The same routine checks were repeated and Piper held her breath when it came to Alex moving her left arm, this was the arm Piper's head was currently resting on.

"Left arm Alex"

Alex grumbled "Pi..per"

"If you disturb her I'm sure she won't mind your recovery is her top priority trust me"

Piper didn't dare move keeping her eyes tightly closed after a few minutes of nothing happening, not even a flicker of movement, the nurse swiftly moved on.

"Right well that's everything I know that left side isn't budging yet but it's not uncommon Alex we're just going to have to keep on trying"

Alex grunted in frustration "Fu..kin use'ss"

Piper was just about to sit up and rage but she was beaten to it by Nurse Stevens.

"No you're not useless you're doing amazingly well especially considering you only had surgery 48 hours ago and the size of the tumour you've had dug out of your head. It's one of the largest I've seen successfully removed. And if you hadn't realised you've just managed to say two more words than yesterday so give your body some credit"

"Wan.. 'ome..Pi..per"

Piper's heart swelled, today Alex's speech was better still heavily slurred but now she could at least say more than her name and she felt a little of the tension release from her mind at this unexpected development.

"Well that's a given no one willingly wants to be in a hospital. I don't think Piper minds though it's giving her plenty of time to plan your wedding"

Piper's head shot up indignant "Hey I am not! Do you want her to have another fit!"

The nurse laughed loudly "Ha I knew you were awake"

She stopped laughing as Alex's eyes flickered from one to the other in obvious confusion. "Have you any recollection of this morning Alex? Try and answer yes or no do not move that head!"

Alex's eyebrows scrunched in concentration "N..n..no"

"You had a fit we've given you a dose of anti convulsant meds so this should prevent anymore from occurring at least at that level of severity"

Alex's face was impassive but Piper saw her eyes darken slightly at the news she stood up so that she was in Alex's line of sight and placed a kiss to her cheek as she smiled naughtily.

"This one always has been a drama queen. You'll do just about anything to get the women flocking to your bed won't you"

Piper laughed playfully pleased when Alex's face broke into a smile the worry receding for now.

"Ch..ch..ee'ky... ssh..sshhhit"

Piper turned to the nurse with mock outrage "You see what I have to put up with"

Alex rolled her eyes her brow furrowed with the level of effort it was taking to speak "Woul'n 'ave ... any ..er ..w..w..way. "

Piper nuzzled Alex's cheek with her nose "No I wouldn't have it any other way that's why I'm trying to drag you down the aisle"

Alex groaned and Nurse Stevens burst out laughing "I think I would just accept it Alex this one here has been telling me all about how much she wants to be Mrs Vause"

Piper blushed embarrassed but when she chanced a glance at Alex and saw the look of adoration across her face she was suddenly glad that she had voiced her desires.

"V...Vau..se?" Alex's tone was laced with amusement.

"Come on you know it's miles better than Chapman. Piper Vause how badass does that sound!"

Alex laughed huskily wincing violently when the action caused her to move her head.

"Next morphine dose I think Alex and would you like to try some water?" Alex nodded and Nurse Stevens handed Piper a bottle of water and a straw.

"Here you are Mrs Vause you can make yourself useful"

Piper laughed still blushing profusely and she took the water, guiding the straw to Alex's mouth while holding the bottle steady and the oxygen mask away from her face. She watched interested as the nurse adjusted the morphine levels on the machine closest to her.

"Right I'll be back tomorrow that's my shift done any problems Piper just press this button here and someone will respond. I'll see you two love birds later"

Once the nurse had gone Alex reached up clumsily with her right arm and pulled the oxygen mask away from her face giving Piper her signature smirk "C..co..me 'ere"

Piper rolled her eyes but complied pressing a loving kiss to Alex's lips savouring the feeling. Alex cheekily deepened the kiss and Piper responded although tentatively.

"W..won' br...eak"

"I know I'm just being careful" Alex rolled her eyes and Piper stroked her cheek gently with her finger.

"I'm sure you're going to give yourself a headache with all that eye rolling"

Alex just raised an eyebrow chuckling replying sarcastically "Would'n wan ... t.t.t..that"

Piper nudged her arm playfully "You know what I mean"

Alex patted the side of the bed and Piper sat down gingerly but Alex had other ideas she pulled on her hand hard so that Piper fell ending up lying tucked up against Alex's left side despite her protests "Ss..stop strugg'in"

"I just don't want to hurt you"

Alex lifted Piper's hand, with quite a lot of difficulty, to her lips and placed a soft kiss to her knuckles "Could ...nev..rrrr"

"That morphine kicking in yet?" Alex just hummed and Piper pulled the oxygen mask back over Alex's face before she snuggled into her side craving the familiarity this was her favourite position to wake up in. It had been the one of the best moments of her new life when she had awoken the first morning out of Litchfield feeling Alex's warm, strong body nestled at the side of her own. Even now the memory was so strong she could feel the happiness from that day tingling through her veins.

"You... ssc..ar'd?"

"Now?" Alex didn't reply and Piper sat up so she could see her face which was creased with a frown "This morning?"

Alex's head twitched slightly to the left in affirmative. Piper let out a sigh and snuggled back into Alex's arm "Yes for a moment I wasn't just scared I was petrified"

"Ssso...rry"

"Don't be sorry you can't help it and I'm so proud of you you're doing so well. Your speech has come on leaps and bounds today, even after your little moment this morning, I can barely get a word in edge ways"

Alex quiet chuckle reverberated through Piper's body warming her deep into her very soul.

"I can't tell you how good it is to hear your husky tones" Piper's cheeks ached from the size of her smile and she beamed up at Alex her happiness clearly on display.

"Lllo... ve... you"

Alex's voice slurred heavily and Piper knew the pain meds where beginning to work their magic and that she would be asleep in a matter of minutes.

"I love you too"

Alex's hand went slack in her own and Piper snuggled down contentedly feeling her own body relax as much as it possibly could while she lay in a hospital the machines bleeping distractedly around her. Piper turned so that she was facing the machine monitoring Alex heartbeat taking comfort in the steady sound as she prepared herself for another restless night.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N 18 reviews for my last chapter wow you guys are spoiling me ... but I love it :)**

 **Nice long Chapter this one I had a couple of days off and thought I would use it wisely! As always I would love to hear what you think :)**

"Jesus I'd forgotten what money buys you in a hospital are you sure this is just a general ward? This rooms bigger than my hotel suite!"

Nicky's loud obnoxious voice could be heard from the other end of the corridor and Piper smiled tiredly at Alex from the end of the bed where she was tucking the covers neatly around Alex's legs smoothing the blankets as she did.

"Are you ready for the full force that is Nicky Nichols"

Alex just hummed looking understandably nervous her right hand fidgeting with the drip secured to the crook of her arm. Piper ran a soothing hand down Alex's leg and smiled at her reassuringly turning to the door surprised when her father walked in with Nicky in tow his voice one of calm his tone confident.

"I'm not having my daughter in law sitting in some crummy ward if you can't pay for the best what's the point"

Nicky laughed heartily and clapped Bill on the shoulder "I knew I should have made Piper my prison wife"

Piper scoffed and rolled her eyes "Oh yeah cause your family's so poor Nicky"

Nicky just smiled good naturedly "Yeah but Bill's a laugh my mother has a stick permanently rammed up her ass! Sounds to me like your marrying up Vause "

"D...augh'er...in ...law?"

Bill beamed as he made his way quickly over to Alex's bedside planting a kiss on her cheek and taking her hand in his own.

"Well you're as good as now aren't you! Don't worry I don't expect you to start calling me daddy like this big softy over here"

Alex chuckled squeezing Bill's hand as she did and he settled into the armchair closest to the bed causing Piper to sigh irritably.

"That wasn't my seat or anything Dad"

Bill snorted "Alex has been looking at your ugly mug all week my rugged good looks will be a welcome attractive change"

Piper laughed "The fact she's been a lesbian all her life might discount that little idea Daddy. Alex would be more likely to appreciate looking at Nicky"

Alex raised an eyebrow chuckling "More like ...one of ...nurses"

Bill burst out into a fit of giggles only laughing harder at the indignant look on both Piper and Nicky's faces.

"How are you feeling then Alex? I must admit you look miles better today. Probably because you're actually up and awake! I'm sure you've been deliberately pretending to be asleep during my visits"

"Ne'er th..that's when... N..Nicky...comes"

"I fuckin' knew it! real nice of you that Vause I'm not coming again you can sod off"

Alex winked at Nicky's sarcastic tone and Piper stood back watching the three of them banter back and forth fondly.

"Are you feeling better then?"

Bill's smile was sincere and Piper noticed he was trying to keep his eyes averted from the shunt so as not to make Alex uncomfortable and Piper was grateful. It had taken a lot of cajoling on Piper's part to get Alex to even agree to Nicky coming today. Even though Nicky had already visited twice over the last week to ICU Alex had been mostly unconscious and she didn't want Nicky to see her looking the way she did. A compromise had been reached Alex would allow Nicky to visit if Piper did her makeup in her words 'Make me look less fucking corpse like' and so Piper had especially enjoyed applying the familiar black eyeliner she loved so much. The fact that Bill had tagged along was a nice surprise for Piper and judging by the smile on Alex's face it was for her as well.

"Feel b..better ...t'day"

Piper was grateful to her Dad and Nicky glad for the reprieve she was absolutely exhausted, her body and mind nearing their limits, she was craving her own bed and a long hot bath. For the last 5 days she had been enduring 10 minute showers and attempting to sleep either in the chair by Alex's bed or the camp bed Nurse Stevens had kindly procured for her after she had point blankly refused to leave Alex's side. She was lucky if she managed to sleep solidly for anything longer than three hours and the lack of sleep was beginning to take its toll.

"Good you looked like shit the last time I saw you Vause you could have been an extra for a fuckin' Halloween horror!"

Alex laughed though she winced as the movement obviously jarred her head.

"So back to the much more interesting conversation of you eyeing up the nurses... Which fit nurse would you bang if you weren't with Chapman?"

Piper's cheeks flushed with embarrassment she was used to Nicky's crassness usually finding it incredibly amusing but in front of her father! No that was not something she was used to. Before Alex could reply Nurse Stevens came bustling in a saline drip in her hand. Over the week Piper had become accustomed to all the medical equipment that Alex was being subjected to actually finding it quite fascinating.

"We having a party in here? And if you are how come I wasn't invited?"

Piper and Alex just smiled in response but Nicky turned to look the nurse up and down before grinning roguishly.

"Jesus Vause I think I'm jealous, I'd let her give me a bed bath anytime she wanted to!"

Piper brought her hand up to her face and groaned, her headache only growing with Nicky's outlandishly comments, but Nurse Stevens just laughed good naturedly.

"It's good to see you again too Miss Nichols. I'm just going to change your drip Alex then I'll be out of your hair I'll come back later to do the observations while you have visitors"

Alex looked relieved and Piper nodded to the nurse grateful for thoughtfulness.

"See gorgeous and considerate are you single?"

Bill Chapman burst out laughing from his chair his face coloured slightly and he winked in Nicky's direction.

"I'm beginning to like you Nicky"

"I'm bloody not come on leave the poor woman alone! I don't want you scaring her off Alex and I like her I don't want her transferring due to your inappropriate harassment!"

Piper was cringing but to her credit Nurse Stevens didn't look at all fazed she carried on changing the drip while Piper and Nicky glared at each other. Once she was done she gathered up the now redundant empty saline bag and headed towards the door.

"I'm very flattered Miss Nichols but I'm afraid I'm not only taken I've been happily married for three years and I'd like to stay that way"

Nicky sighed dramatically "Well your husband is one lucky bastard"

"I would say I'm the lucky one but I'll make sure to tell my wife you think so"

Nicky's jaw dropped comically.

"Right Alex I'll be back in an hour" and with that the nurse threw Nicky a wink and then left as quickly as she had arrived.

"Well I didn't see that coming"

Piper and Alex just shared an amused look at Nicky's face still painted in shock her head shaking from left to right. Piper smiled then looked in her Bill's direction he was sat quiet with a contemplative look across his features and Piper's smile flickered slightly.

"You ok Daddy?"

Bill looked at his daughter and gave a brief smile "I'm fine darling I've just had a rough couple of nights sleep that's all"

Piper wasn't convinced "You and mum ok?"

"Fine... fine"

Piper looked closely at her dad and then to Alex who also didn't look convinced but before she could ask further questions Bill turned to Alex.

"So any idea how long until you will be coming home?"

"Not y..et got t..to start re..hab. Which... d..de'ends on obs"

Bill nodded "Good well make sure you let me know how those observations are coming along. I was at Andrew Riley's on Tuesday for a poker night, you remember Andrew? Tall, dark hair thinning on top? When you told him you were Piper's girlfriend he replied and I'm the Queen of Sheba? Yes well he introduced me to a fantastic new whiskey liquor which I reckon will be right up your street. I could probably sneak a sample in here on my next visit and-"

"Not a chance there's no way in hell Alex is touching alcohol not for a while at least!"

Alex's expression immediately darkened but Piper felt no guilt at her sharp words. There was no way Alex was risking her recovery all for a bloody scotch with her dad, no she was not dealing with the stress.

"No don't look at me like that you know the rules"

"Darling I was only jokin-"

"If wan' a ...ssscotch I'll fuck'in 'ave one"

Alex's voice was cold the anger clearly heard Bill and Nicky both twitched awkwardly Bill especially looking uncomfortable that his joking had led to this. Piper paid them no notice her own temper rising quickly through her tired stressed body.

"You'll risk your health for the sake of a drink? Real mature Alex. Fucking sod the medical advice and do as you please, I don't know why I'm surprised really you have always done exactly whatever the fuck you want sod the bloody consequences and bollocks to everyone else"

Bill stood up slowly his eyes flickering nervously between the two of them "Piper that's enough"

Piper glared at her father her temper still bubbling away and she raised her arms skywards scoffing loudly.

"No am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? She has enough to battle with without sticking alcohol on top of it!"

Afterwards when she was thinking rationally Piper would concede that she had overreacted but now with stress and worry coursing through her exhausted self her rationality had taken a detour and every piece of frustration was rushing out of her.

"Hush your noise and calm your tits Chapman it's one drink she's not planning on going fuckin' clubbing"

"Back off Nicky this has fuck all to do with you"

"Piper... t..hat's enough"

Alex's voice was quiet and calm a clear contrast to Piper's ever increasing hysteria.

"No no it's not I don't want you putting your recovery at risk for the sake of a moment of sheer bloody mindedness!"

"K..Kid-"

"No Alex! Do you want to be stuck in in that hospital bed like this for the rest of your life?! Do you?!"

Alex looked like she had been slapped and Bill took charge "Right Piper that's enough. Come on you're coming with me lets go and get some coffee"

The fight left Piper completely as she took in Nicky's look of complete shock and the stricken expression across Alex's features. Her body visibly slumped as her dad wrapped an arm around her shoulder pulling her into his body. Once they had reached the hospital vending machines Bill pulled away taking hold of Piper by the shoulders and Piper found she couldn't meet his gaze.

"Hey, hey that was bang out of order back there there was no need for all that especially in front of me and Nicky"

Piper just carried on looking at the floor now she had left the room she could feel her body wilting, guilt and embarrassment settling in her stomach and she wanted to weep.

"What was all that about Piper?"

"Nothing really I suppose it's just I can't help but worry, I love her so much and she's going through hell and I'm just so worried all the time. It's like a permanent fixture in my stomach and it feels like it's eating me alive. It's just hard Daddy, it's so hard"

Piper started to cry and Bill pulled her tightly into his arms rocking her making shushing sounds down her ear. The sounds and movement would have sent her to sleep had they not been standing in a busy hospital corridor.

"Darling I think you should go back to your apartment tonight and get a decent nights sleep. No before you argue, I think you're burning yourself out and let's be honest Alex doesn't need the stress of you two arguing on top of everything else does she?" Piper shook her head hesitantly "I know you mean well and so does Alex but she's a grown woman Piper you need to treat her like the adult she is and not a child otherwise she is going to hate you for it. You know how fiercely independent she is, this is already hard enough without you getting on her case"

Piper didn't reply she just let her dads words wash over her what he was saying was the truth but it didn't help her feel any less stressed.

"You can't control everything she does Piper otherwise she's not going to have a life of her own and she'll grow to resent it"

Piper felt offended "I'm just trying to look after her"

Her father smiled at her gently "I know that Piper and she knows that but give Alex some credit she's perfectly capable of looking after herself. Alex is fighting this illness so that she can have a life not an existence remember so don't try and suck the joy out of living"

"I'm not trying to I just got overwhelmed and eurghh I did the famous Chapman thing, lost my temper instead of talking like a rational human being"

Piper laughed humourlessly and presses her hands into her eyes that were burning "God I really do need some proper sleep"

Bill laughed and placed a kiss to Piper's forehead "You do now come on you're going to go back in there and apologise. We'll drink these coffees then me and Nicky are going to leave but tonight I'll be back"

Piper looked at him confusedly "Why?"

"Well someone's got to stay with Alex haven't they?" Bill grinned but Piper could tell there was something bothering him behind his smile.

"Have you and mum been arguing again?"

Bill nodded sheepishly "Gives me an excuse not to go home"

Piper bit her lip she knew exactly what her mother really thought about Alex and she was concerned that this would only fan the flames to her mother's temper.

"Don't look so worried it's between me and your mother you don't need to get involved ok?" Piper nodded hesitantly "Now come on let's get these coffees otherwise Alex and Nicky will be wondering were we've got to!"

* * *

"Bill are you sssure you..re ok?"

Alex felt guilty watching Bill shift and struggle on the fold up camp bed in the corner he was obviously uncomfortable but had so far refused all her efforts to try and convince him to leave. Bill stood up stretching his arms high above his head before he grabbed one of the blankets and settled into the chair next to Alex's bed.

"It's not the bed Alex I just can't seem to settle tonight"

"D..Do you wan' t.t...talk 'bout it?"

"There's not really much to say me and Carol fought, she kicked me out of the house and here I am" Bill shrugged his shoulders before he smiled "I'm actually quite glad I'm here tonight otherwise I would have had to stay at Piper's flat and I don't want her worrying about me and her selfish cow of a mother especially not while-" Bill closed his mouth looking sheepish but Alex just shook her head and gestured for Bill to continue she knew exactly how Bill was going to finish that sentence and she agreed whole heartedly with him.

"Well you know what I mean while she's spending so much time here and all that"

"I ... 'ave t..tried... to... make 'er go 'ome"

Alex felt guilty, after Piper's outburst this afternoon it was apparent how much strain she was under. She was still sleeping so much she just presumed that Piper had been getting the rest she needed at the same time as herself but the bags under Piper's eyes told a different story. No matter how much she tried Piper had been adamant that she was staying with Alex and she would not be talked into changing her mind.

Before Bill could reply the night nurse came in and busied herself doing Alex's observations when it came to the checks on her left side Alex sighed resignedly she was sick to death of these infernal checks she just wanted to be left alone.

"N..no ... p..point"

The nurse visibly bristled "Well if you're going to have that attitude you best get used to sitting in that bed because you'll never be signed off to leave"

Alex felt her hackles rise white hot anger flared up inside of her this woman pissed her off she was nothing like Nurse Stevens. This one was rude and abrupt with absolutely no bedside manner how she ever became a nurse Alex didn't know. Determined to prove her point Alex put all her effort into trying to make her left leg move nothing happened and Alex gestured with her right arm.

"I'm fuck'in ... tryin' nothing's ...hap'ning!"

The nurse made a note on her sheet continuing as if she hadn't heard Alex's outburst.

"Left arm"

Alex growled sweat was beginning to bead across her forehead from the effort but she tried concentrating with all her might. Just when she was about to stop Bill stood up abruptly hovering over the bed a look of awe across his face.

"Alex do that again!"

Her concentration broken Alex turned to Bill confusedly "Do what?"

Bill gestured to her hand and Alex concentrated hard slowly but surely Alex could feel a funny sensation like pins and needlessly spread up her left arm and her fingers began to twitch and uncurl. Beaming brightly Alex managed to curl her fingers slightly and unfold them again her breath coming in gasps from the effort.

"That's enough for now Alex I'll be back in four hours"

Bill raised his eyebrows dramatically as the door slammed shut loudly "Well isn't she just a bundle of joy not even a bloody well done or nothing!"

Alex couldn't muster the indignation she was too ecstatic over what she had achieved.

"This is brilliant Alex! Shall I ring Piper and tell her?"

Alex thought for a moment before she shook her head "N..no let 'er... sssleep"

Bill just nodded smiling "You bothered if I stay in this chair?"

Alex shook her head she truly wasn't without Bill this operation may not have been quite so positive she was truly grateful to him for his help plus she genuinely like his company. The first time round with Piper she had never really understood her girlfriends relationship with her father having never experienced it herself. In these last four years though Bill had always made a real effort to include her, they would never have the same relationship he and Piper had for obvious reasons but having that fatherly figure was nice.

"I'm going to get a drink do you want some water?"

Alex nodded gratefully and Bill busied himself pouring two glasses of water he placed a straw in Alex's and she smirked in amusement when he hesitated awkwardly holding out the glass.

"You want me to help?"

"P..Please"

Bill held the glass steady and Alex took a long drink glad of the ice cold liquid. Although the saline drip was providing her with plenty of fluid she liked having a drink for herself it made her feel more normal. Bill's mobile began to ring and he excused himself placing the now empty glass onto the stand at the end of Alex's bed before he reached into his jacket pulling out his phone.

"Guess who this is?"

Alex chuckled tiredly "P..Piper "

Bill nodded and smiled as he answered the phone "Hello darling"

Alex listening contentedly to the one sided conversation letting Bill's voice soothe her into a semi sleeping state while she tried to continue to move her fingers.

"Alex?"

"Hmmm?"

"Piper wants to speak to you"

Alex opened her eyes and clumsily took the phone from Bill and held it up awkwardly to her left ear "Hey K..K..Kid"

"Hello my love"

Piper's sleepy voice made Alex smile she could vividly picture her wrapped in the duvet her body on the left her head on Alex's pillow. It was always the position Piper would adopt if she for any reason was in bed without Alex. It was strange not having Piper with her nodding in the chair next to her but she reasoned that it would be even worse for Piper who had gone back to sleeping in her bed alone. It was a sobering thought that it could easily have turned out that Piper slept on her own, alone, the right side not being occupied by her again and a cold shiver passed through Alex.

"You r..read'y for b..bed?"

Piper yawned loudly and Alex chuckled "Yeah I'm really tired but I can't seem to settle I miss you so much and I think the silence isn't helping I've gotten used to having constant background noise it's really weird not hearing the machines"

Alex grumbled "Wi..sssh I could..n't b..bloody 'ear t..them "

Piper laughed "My dad being good and looking after you?"

Alex smiled in Bill's direction "Yesss 'e ...is"

Piper continued to chatter to her and Alex could slowly feel herself struggling to concentrate. As Piper continued to talk Alex could feel a tingling sensation begin to wash over her body and the feeling made her feel slightly nauseas. Hoping it would ease Alex continued to listen but after a few minutes her body began to twitch which in turn caused her to wince as the movement made her head burn in pain. Bill looked at her curiously as her body began to twitch more noticeably and worry began to seep into her mind.

"P..Pi..pes I'm g..gonna ... 'ave to go. I l..love you ...'k?"

Bill looked at her with concern and she shakily handed him the phone just as she felt her hand begin to spasm.

"No she's fine Piper the nurse has just come in so I'll call you back in the morning ok? ... Yes darling I'll tell her ... Goodnight"

Alex tried to keep her eyes focused on Bill but the pain was coming more strongly now forcing her to clench her eyes shut she could feel her limbs beginning to spasm more severely, her jaw also tensing and she guessed she was having some form of fit.

"Alex what's going on? What do you need?"

"N..n..nurse" she heard Bill move quickly the movements hurried and the alarm button sounded next to her head.

"It's ok Alex you're going to be fine"

Bill's hand was wrapped tightly around her own and she could feel his warm hand against her shoulder holding her body steady. Fear began to creep through her being and she squeezed Bill's hand hard feeling like she needed to anchor herself. As the door opened to her room her body convulsed violently, the pain in her head spiked in magnitude and Alex felt herself wretch blindly jarring her head again in the process. The pain finally overwhelmed her and she gave in to the darkness that had crept into her mind craving unconscious relief.

* * *

"I'm being deadly serious Dan I do not want that woman anywhere near Alex! If she so much as appears in this room I'm filing a complaint"

Alex could hear Bill's angry words filtering through from the corridor outside it had woken her up hearing Bill shout loudly into the phone but at first she just presumed it was Carol. When Bill had noticed she was awake he had quickly taken his call out into the corridor but Alex could still hear his angry tones.

"Nurse Stevens has been in this morning and she told me that it was due to not enough anti-convulsant being administered. The fit caused a bleed on her brain now luckily, as we both know, it has been successfully drained with the shunt but if it hadn't Dan and Alex had been wheeled back into theatre you would have had a lawsuit on your hands!"

Alex turned her head sluggishly she could just make out Bill's form through the window his arms gesturing wildly and her heart warmed at Bill's obvious concern. Bill's voice tapered off no longer raised and a few minutes later he returned to the room his face flushed with anger.

"You d..didn't 'ave t..to ... d..do that "

Bill looked irritably towards the door "Yes I did it's not right she was a bitch that nurse and useless to boot I'm not having her being in charge of your care"

"Thanks ... "

Bill's face softened and he took her hand in his own "You don't need to thank me. I had just gotten off the phone with Piper when Dan called she's completely furious I thought it would be better if Dan dealt with my version of the Chapman temper. I think if that nurse turns up again Piper will have her head"

Alex physically winced at the thought of how furious Piper would be when she arrived and she actually hoped for the nurses sake she didn't return.

"Ssstill I'm 'k it c..could 'ave b..been worse"

"Yeah and that's why I'm so cross"

Alex gave up trying to calm Bill down and so she dozed while he stalked up and down her room. A tell tale bang echoed into the corridor and Alex winced as she heard Piper's voice echo loudly "Where the fuck is she?!"

Bill's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline when he heard the anger in Piper's tone. Quickly he exited the room and when he returned he was manhandling Piper, through the door forcefully, who was still trying to find out which nurse had been on duty the night before.

"P..Pipes come 'ere" the anger seemed to drain from Piper's body and Alex kept her tone calm and soothing "M..miss..ed you"

Her love smiled gently and she crossed the room quickly coming to settle at Alex's bedside.

"Hey I missed you too. How are you this morning honestly?

"I'mm ...'k"

Piper's face contorted into a deep scowl "No thanks to that incompetent fool she'll be the one needing a hospital bed if she ever sets foot in this room again"

Alex chuckled, angry Piper was hot if she wasn't incapacitated in this bed she would be fucking Piper up against the wall her protectiveness was a turn on.

"Don't look at me like that"

Piper's cheeks had coloured slightly and she glanced between Alex and Bill who was still standing by the door "L..Like what?"

"You know what"

Piper moved up closer so that she could whisper in Alex's ear and Alex watched amusedly as Piper looked over her shoulder to make sure her father wasn't listening.

"Like you want to ravish me you're making me horny"

Alex chuckled then groaned theatrically keeping a coy smirk on her face "J..Just you wait ... until we're b..back 'ome ... I won't f..forget"

"I know I'm old but I'm not deaf or stupid please don't make me hear things my sensitive dad ears shouldn't be exposed to"

Piper blushed beetroot red and Alex couldn't help but laugh as Piper buried her head into her neck as if she could physically hide herself from her father.

"Nurse Stevens will be coming to do your checks in half an hour Alex do you want to show Piper what you can do?"

Piper looked at her curiously and Alex smiled as she stretched out her left fingers and flexed them against Piper's hand that was resting on the bed. The movement was still awkward and very laboured her arm still not moving but Piper's whole face lit up as she looked from her hand back to up to her face a look of pure joy on her face.

"Oh Alex that's brilliant"

Piper threw her arms around her and Alex felt a hum of contentment travel through her Piper's elation brightening the whole room.

"See Piper two sets of functioning fingers! I'm sure you'll be celebrating that the minute she gets home!"

Bill's voice was teasing, the innuendo heavily implied and Piper sat bolt upright blushing profusely her face a picture of horror as Alex just laughed uncontrollably.

"Daddy!"


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N Thank you for all your comments on Chapter 13 I still can't believe how much love there is for Bill Chapman :) and it's so nice to hear that you are enjoying reading about Alex's recovery and I hope you continue to enjoy!**

Piper moved precariously through the ridiculously heavy double doors balancing a large cardboard box on her arm as she applied the antiseptic gel to her hands before moving further into the ward. It was always quiet at this time, evening visiting hours had just ended and most patients were now being settled for the night. She had nodded to some of the frequent visitors she had got used to seeing on her way in but with Alex in a private room she did not see them enough to do anything other than smile in greeting. Seeing them reluctantly leave made Piper incredibly grateful that the staff were still allowing her to sleep on a camp bed in the corner of Alex's private room. She knew deep down it was more to do with the amount of money her father was paying rather than their own generosity but still she felt blessed that she didn't have to leave Alex alone each night. Trying to hitch her bag further up on to her shoulder Piper felt like some sort of posh squatter. Each afternoon she returned with her bag containing her clean clothes and toiletries plus anything Alex had asked for. It had only been this last week that she had begun nipping home while Alex had started the rehabilitation course after two weeks and a half weeks at staying nearly permanently at the hospital. The length of the Physio gave her just enough time to have a bath and stick some washing in, do any small chores that were essential then set off to be back here for when Alex returned. Today she was running incredibly late her car had been due at the garage and she had needed to pick fresh clothes up from Alex's apartment. With running back and forth and after a long rambling conversation with her brother about Alex, plans for Christmas and the benefits of a more eco friendly home, she had been gone for nearly 7 hours and she found she was now anxious to see her other half.

Approaching the nurse's station Piper smiled as Nurse Stevens was sat behind the computer with another younger trainee who Piper had seen a couple of times before. She too always had a smile on her face and nothing was ever too much trouble and she was always quick to offer her help. Piper thought her name was Sarah but she wasn't a 100% sure and she kept forgetting to try and sneakily find out.

"Do you need any help there?"

Piper shook her head but couldn't answer due to the car keys she currently held between her teeth, she placed the box down onto the counter and placed her keys into her jacket pocket shifting the rucksack on her back as she did so.

"These are for you!"

Piper grinned and gestured to the large box laughing as Nurse Stevens face lit up as she opened the lid and saw the 12 Krispy Kreme doughnuts nestled inside.

"Thank you Piper this is really thoughtful of you"

"It's no bother I'm really grateful to you all for how much you're doing for Alex and in turn for me. Will you pass them around to the other nurses for me?"

Piper chatted for a few minutes asking the usual questions when making small talk until she began to fidget eager to now go and see Alex.

"How's the rehab gone today then?"

The junior nurse's expression darkened before she snorted and Piper frowned at her, slightly perturbed with her response.

"Oh its been eventful"

"Care to expand?"

Piper's tone was short slightly cutting and she watched as Nurse Stevens ushered the other nurse away citing that she needed the stationary cupboard organising and she would appreciate her starting now.

Once she was out of earshot Piper raised her eyebrow waiting for a response "I think there has been a clash of personalities today Alex has been in a towering temper since her return from physiotherapy and a few heated words have been exchanged"

"What did she say to Alex?"

Piper wanted to know the full details, she could feel her own temper shifting at the thought of Alex being upset even though she knew her love was quite capable of standing up for herself.

"I think it's more of what Alex said to Sarah"

Piper groaned and brought a hand up to her face pinching her nose lightly.

"Alex is frustrated by the lack of progress and I think Sarah's jovial encouragement wore a bit thin. I think the last words were 'Get out of this fucking room and leave me the fuck alone'" the nurse smiled hesitantly as Piper visibly winced "Safe to say Sarah hasn't been back in there since"

"God I'm sorry"

Nurse Stevens laughed "She's a grown woman Piper she doesn't need you apologising for her besides I do understand her frustration its a common reaction from most patients. Its just shouting at the nursing staff isn't going to help her situation we are here to assist after all"

Piper turned to look at Alex's room only noticing now that the blinds on the doors and windows had been firmly drawn.

"I've left her alone since her return, told her to push the button if she wants anything but so far we've not heard a peep out of her not for pain relief not even a request for her evening meal"

Piper scoffed not at all surprised "Oh trust me if Alex is on one you don't see her for dust. Suppose I should get in there then"

Nurse Stevens smiled sympathetically "I wish you all the luck in the world"

Piper grimaced and set off towards the door "Thanks"

* * *

Feeling slightly hesitant Piper knocked on the door only entering when Alex gruffly answered and as she struggled through the door her rucksack caught on the handle as she did so causing it to drop loudly to the floor the contents spilling out in every direction.

"For fucks sake" she muttered angrily as she shoved the escaping items back into the bag and chucked it on top of her camp bed for sorting later.

"Hey love"

Alex didn't answer her and Piper inwardly rolled her eyes, she moved forwards towards the bed and went to give Alex a kiss but Alex turned her head only letting her kiss her cheek.

"You're l..late"

Alex's tone was laced with anger and Piper fought had to keep her own voice calm and level.

"The car took longer at the garage than I thought and Cal called just as I was leaving you know what he's like for rambling on. He sends his love though and he says he'll try and get some time off work to come and see you"

"Tell 'im not to b..bother"

Piper stood and made her way over to the camp bed intent on unpacking the things she had brought she needed to keep her herself busy so that she didn't lose her temper at Alex's words.

"How was rehab?"

"F..Fuckin'... ssshit"

"It's not going to be instant Al it's only been two weeks since the op"

"You sssound like t..the ...fuckin'..nurses"

"That's because me and the nurses are talking sense"

Piper finished placing her clothes away in the small cupboard under the window and turned back to the bed looking at Alex closely her whole body was taught with anger and Piper wished she could take the frustration away. She could only imagine how much Alex was struggling and she wished there was something more she could do.

"It'll come back Alex, the speech, the movement it'll all come back to normal"

"Y..Yeah? ...W..When"

Piper moved and perched at the side of Alex on the bed and cupped Alex's chin raising her face so that she could look into stormy green eyes.

"I don't know but it will I have the utmost faith in you"

Piper thought her words would help but she was wrong Alex pulled free from her grasp and stared moodily into the corner.

"You a'ways ...were n..n..naive"

"Come on Al that's not fair"

Alex glared at her as she snorted harshly "Y..Yeah w..well n..n..none of t..t..this is f..fuckin' fair"

Piper, wanting to bring some sort of comfort to her frustrated lover, reached out to take Alex's hand in her own but it was pulled sharply away from her. Not being deterred Piper took Alex's left hand in her sturdy grip knowing this time she couldn't pull away from her. She knew it was slightly cruel keeping hold of the arm Alex couldn't move but she needed the contact.

"I know you're frustrated but-"

"N..No! No you d..don't know! I feel fucking t..t..trapped in .. my own use'ss bod'y and ... I f..f..fuckin' h..h..ate it!"

Piper could see the tears building into Alex's eyes and she wanted to take her love into her arms, hold her tight and make all the self loathing go away.

"It'll get better"

Piper knew it was a weak response but she didn't know what else to say, not wanting to cause any further upset.

"This is ...what I d..d..didn't want K..Kid"

Piper breath hitched in her throat at the sorrow in Alex's words.

"No, no what you didn't want was to be a vegetable dribbling in a chair this is different"

Alex just sighed and shook her head before she looked at her with irritation across her features.

"G..Go 'ome P..Pipes"

Piper was stunned and she raised her eyebrows high on her head as she stared at Alex, her tone stern "Why would I want to go home?"

Alex turned her head away and didn't respond and Piper could practically see the walls being put up between them.

"Don't you dare, don't you dare try and push me away. I know what you're doing Alex and I'm not letting you do this again"

"I'm n..nnot d..doing any'ing"

"Yes you are you're pulling away from me and the last time you did this I ended up waking up in an empty bed with a 'Sorry Kid I've gone to the hospital' oh and the time before that I ended up being dumped for reasons I didn't understand"

Piper's voice wavered with emotion and she tried to push it down this wasn't meant to be about her.

"You know ...why I l..left you ...and I d..d..did'nt want to 'ave to ssssay g..g..goodbye k..kno'ing it c..could 'ave for t..the l..last t..time"

"But I did. I wanted to be by your side until the last possible moment. I needed that Al and you took that from me"

Piper stood up from the bed and went to look out of the window at the frosted carpark outside.

"Nicky was right you know..."

"'B..Bout ...what"

"We always end up hurting one another when we think we're doing what's best. We can talk about anything, we do talk about anything, but you in particular never tell me how your truly feeling instead you bottle it up and then do your own thing and it hurts Al"

Piper quickly wiped away the tear than fell down her cheek not wanting Alex to see. The silence between them was fraught with nerves and tension and when Piper turned back around the tears that Alex had tried to hold back were now falling down her cheeks.

"Oh Al"

"D..Don't"

Piper ignored Alex's words and she climbed up on the bed at the side of her and pulled Alex's shaking body into her arms. Piper's neck was instantly wet with tears and she cuddled Alex as close to her body as physically possible. Piper didn't fill the silence with words instead she just stroked her hand up and down Alex's back soothingly waiting patiently.

"I'm sssso ssscar'ed P..P..Pipes"

Alex's voice shook and trembled the words whispered, heavy with shame and Piper kissed the top of Alex's head carefully, avoiding the still healing incision.

"I've on'y ever felt t..this ssscar'ed t..twice before, at L..Litchfield when I thou'ht you ...were going to d..die and when you l..left in P..Paris and I 'ad n..no one an'more"

Piper was intrigued barely breathing so that she didn't miss a word of what Alex was whispering quietly.

"I p..push you away b..be'ause I don't want t..to b..become depen'ant on you again comp..pletely it's t..too 'ard and I will always w..want to p..protect you"

"Are you planning on leaving me"

"G..God no"

"Well then you never need to worry about being on your own again and I don't need protecting from you Alex"

Piper's voice burnt with conviction and she tilted Alex's head gently so that she could look into her lover's eyes.

"I wish you could see yourself how I see you then you would never doubt my love for you"

"I k..know you l..love me. It's just ...I 'ave always b..been the ssstrong one I n..never nee'ed anyone else un'il you ...came along"

Piper knew little about Alex's childhood it was topic that never came up very often and when it did Alex was always rather vague. Piper always thought it was due to how different there upbringings had been she had never wanted for everything whereas Alex had had to fight tooth and nail for anything she had ever needed. Piper knew Alex had been bullied as a child and how Alex's mother had worked all hours possible to provide them with a home leaving a young Alex on her own most of the time. Alex knew how Piper had always craved her mother's love and never truly received it. Piper had sometimes felt moments of want where she wished they had talked about these things more often but at the same time she herself had been hesitant to open up her own old wounds. Now though she was determined that they would talk.

"When I was a child I never really felt like I was truly loved. My dad although brilliant now wasn't around very much when I was growing up he was always away with work or other women escaping the pressures of suburban living. I think that's were my sense of adventure came from, my dad, I don't think he ever truly wanted the white picket fence lifestyle either. With dad I always felt a bit of an inconvenience and with mum I always felt that I would never quite be good enough and yet I still tried so hard to please them both in every way. I sometimes wish I had been like Cal done what ever I wanted to and not give a damn about what other people thought but as a child and a young woman I just couldn't break that awful controlling desire to please"

Piper chanced a glance at Alex feeling slightly exposed when she noticed she held Alex's full attention.

"Sometimes I feel like I never knew what it felt like to be truly loved until we started our life together and even now there are still days when I think that someday soon you too will become bored and move on to the next good thing because that's how it felt growing up. Whether it was my mum, dad, heck even you the first time round there was always something else that would take priority over me, my mum with her own self obsessed ways, my dad with his affairs and you with the drug business. I never felt like I was 100% wanted"

"I w..wan'ted you"

"I know that now. I guess what I'm trying to say is I think I understand how you feel because you have always had to rely on yourself for money, security, protection ... and I've only ever had myself to always 100% want and need me"

Piper sighed and fidgeted with the starchy blanket on the bed. "I don't think I'm explaining myself very well"

Alex chuckled although it was devoid of humour "D..D..Doing a bet'er job t..than me Kid"

"Now though when you look at me all those insecurities fall away because you look at me like I'm the only thing in the world that's important to you. And every time, even though I swear it's not possible, I fall in love with you that little bit more"

Alex's smile could have lit the room and Piper pressed her lips to Alex's lovingly before she pulled away and became serious once more.

"It's why I get so stressed and upset when you don't include me in your plans or tell me what you're thinking because all those feelings of inadequacy come rushing back and I'm terrified I'll end up alone again"

Alex flinched and half of Piper wanted to take back what she had said. The other half however knew they needed to have this conversation and not in the fit of a row where it's true meaning would be lost in furious words and hateful accusations.

"I'm sssorry f..for l..leaving you without sayin' ...g..goo'bye" Alex's voice was strong and assertive the honesty shining bright and true. Piper felt some of the deep rooted tension within her lesson at the honest apology. Until now she hadn't realised quite how upset she still was over waking alone that awful morning.

"I would have been here with you until they physically wheeled you away from me and I would have sat outside that theatre until you returned"

Alex nodded sadly and squeezed Piper's hand tightly with her right fingers her grip desperate "T..The re..hab sssscares me"

Piper was not surprised to hear this it was something she already suspected but it was refreshing hearing Alex admit her fears aloud confirming Piper's own speculation.

"Because it reminds you how far you think you have to go to be back to normal?"

"Yesss in 'ere when it's j..just you and me I can f..forget t..that I can't w..walk or even t..talk properly... be'ause you d..dont t..t..treat me differen'ly"

Piper could easily understand that being here in the hospital she too found easy once she was home alone the reality of what they were living with loomed like a shadow and sometimes she too worried about how they would manage.

"Alex even if this is as far as you ever get I will still love you, still want you and not out of pity purely out of adoration. And you need to look at the positive you are alive and you are fighting this godforsaken illness and so far you are winning which is more than you ever thought would happen just a couple of weeks ago"

Alex's brow furrowed at her words but she smiled although hesitantly "Yes b..bbut it's not t..tthe l..life you dreamed of is it?"

"Ever since I had you returned to Litchfield all I've ever dreamt about is living the rest of my life with you. Just me and you all the finer details fall away to nothingness"

Piper knew it sounded unbelievably corny but she was being truly honest.

Alex smiled widely but then she prodded Piper's side causing her to jump.

"F..Fuckin' sssoft arse"

Piper laughed loudly while trying to wriggle away from Alex's tickling fingers. Squirming she sat upright and pinned Alex's body under her own while smiling triumphantly. Piper knew their heart to heart was over but she found she was relieved they had managed to talk about what they had without either outright sobbing or arguing and she laughed her body feeling strangely light. Kissing Alex thoroughly Piper let out a hum of contentedness when Alex's tongue entwined with her own. Pulling back to breathe she winked mischievously and quirked an eyebrow at Alex's curious expression.

"Well it's true plus I can hand on heart honestly say I will stick by your side for eternity because let's be honest as long as one of those hands work I'll be alright won't I?"

Alex laughed loudly and slapped her on the arse with her right hand causing Piper to squeal loudly.

"C..Cheeky b..b..bitch"

"Slap me again and I'll make you my bitch"

Alex laughed her eyes glinting as she smirked, mischief painting her features.

"W..Will you n..n..now"

The loud smack echoed into the room along with Piper's answering scream and Alex laughed loudly as Piper pouted moodily as she rubbed her her arse cheek it stinging painfully. Piper pinned Alex's arms back to the bed and kissed Alex forcefully on the mouth, she nibbled playfully on Alex's bottom lip before she nipped hard causing Alex to call out cussing.

"F..Fuck P..P..Piper!"

Just as Piper was about to do it again the door burst open and Nurse Stevens stood in the doorway her face bore a worried expression until her gaze levelled on them entwined on the bed. Nurse Stevens face blushed and Piper realised exactly how this must look she was still straddling Alex's waist with her hands held above her head and Alex's lips swollen from her kissing.

"I'm sorry I heard yelling and ... well I can see your both perfectly fine now so I think I'll be on my way"

Piper was mortified but before she could begin to explain the door had been swiftly closed Nurse Stevens long gone. Alex just laughed and Piper scowled at her pouting moodily "She's going to think we were about to have sex!"

"SSSSo? Anyway it's n..not goin' t..to b..bother 'er she b..bats for our t..team. J..Just a b..bit of live action foreplay t..to tell 'er wife 'bout later"

Piper only groaned in reply letting her head fall coming to rest on Alex's chest her body beginning to shake as Alex just laughed harder at her embarrassment. Tomorrow, she decided, as a peace offering she was going to have to buy something better than doughnuts.


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N 161 reviews (squeals) thank you! This chapter is long enough so I won't say anything else other than I hope you enjoy ...**

"You need to push that left leg as far as you possibly can"

Alex grunted feeling her muscles burn with the effort it was taking to keep herself upright. Her arm muscles were beginning to shake with the exertion, her top soaked in sweat was sticking to her body like a second skin and she couldn't wait for this last hour to be over. Today she was using the walking frame for the third time and it was quickly becoming her least favourite apparatus in the rehab centre. It required her to hold herself upright using the two bars at either side of her for balance but with her stubborn left leg her right side was bearing the majority of her weight.

"Concentrate now and push forward that little bit more"

Alex grit her teeth and tried to force her left leg forwards it wasn't easy her brain and muscles just not willing to respond to the other and after a few more minutes she still hadn't managed to move her leg by any means other than dragging. Her right hand was clutching the hand rail tightly her knuckles white with the force of her grip as she slowly tried to push forwards. Beginning to pant with the effort Alex felt sweat drip down from her hairline and land on the floor in front of her and she pulled her face at how disgusting she must look right at this moment.

"Ok Alex that's enough for today"

Alex let out a sigh of relief and let her body fall into the wheel chair that the therapist had carefully placed underneath her shaking body. She slumped down into the chair grateful for the rest, today had truly exhausted her. Her left arm was getting stronger the muscles responding as they should the only issue was her finesse and grip her minor motor skills still not particularly refined. Now that she was sat in the chair she could feel the muscles in her left side beginning to cramp from the effort that she had forced upon them and she grimaced at the sensation.

"Right I'll get you on the table and I'll give you a deep tissue massage to stop those cramps then I'll ring Nurse Stevens and tell her that's it for today"

Alex nodded wearily she was so tired all she wanted to do was go back to her room and sleep for as long as physically possible.

"Right arms up"

Alex raised her arms and her therapist wrapped his hands under her shoulders and lifted her out of the chair with ease. Alex stood, her weight firmly held on her right leg while she was manoeuvred gently on to the padded massage bed and she shifted so that she was lying face down letting out a contented moan as she did. This was the best part of physiotherapy and the only bit that was in any way enjoyable.

"You're going to gain some fantastic muscle definition Alex soon if you keep up at this rate"

Alex just hummed in response she was certain that she had a lost at least a stone since she started physiotherapy through sweating alone. She had never been one for any type of physical exercise unless it ended in an orgasm. It was truly exhausting to now be active for two to three hours a day forcing herself through each of the required activities whilst giving a 100% to each task. As she lay there Alex could feel her body was starting to cool and she shivered immediately wincing as the sensation ran across her still sensitive scar. Each time she had a cold shiver or she sneezed it felt as though the feeling reverberated around her skull and she was grateful to the nursing staff for always making sure she was warm at all times. Her head was also still incredibly sensitive to touch and it was surprising how she was now used to the constant tingling ache that resided in the right side of her head. She had been trying to wean herself from the painkillers deliberately not asking for any pain relief until she couldn't bear it any longer not wanting her body to become too dependant on the drugs.

By the time her thorough massage had been completed Alex was nearly asleep her body had completely relaxed and she was very reluctant to move even though she was craving her bed.

"Progress is coming along nicely Alex you should be proud of yourself"

Alex didn't feel proud she still felt incredibly irritated at how long it was taking to regain full control over her own body and with each day that passed she was becoming less confidant that she would leave the hospital on her own two feet. Slowly she maneuvered herself so that she was sat upright her legs dangling from the table and she thanked the physiotherapist for his time and gave him the go ahead to leave while she waited for the nurse.

"Hi Alex! You ready to go?"

Alex fought the urge to roll her eyes as Sarah's voice rang out into the room immediately wishing it had been Nurse Stevens who had come to collect her. Alex had never met anyone so upbeat and enthusiastic in all her life and although she knew the young woman meant well she found that it grated on her nerves. Piper was a lot better at dealing with her never ending enthusiasm, always managing to stay polite and sound interested in the girls conversation, she however neither had the patience or the inclination. Trying to hold in her temper Alex just grimaced and nodded in way of greeting praying that today the junior nurse would not want to engage in conversation.

Once she was firmly settled into the chair Sarah set off pushing her down the corridor talking away a mile a minute everything from the weather to the new type of yoghurt they were serving with tonight's meal. The last couple of days Alex had insisted that she pushed herself but today her aching arms were just not up to it. Instead she just sat quietly trying to tune out the incessant chattering from the young woman behind her.

"You'll be pleased to know Piper's waiting for you Alex she arrived back earlier today"

Alex smiled if anything was going to put a smile on her face it was the thought of her love waiting for her to return.

"She looks tired though and a bit, I'm not sure, stressed maybe? something about seeing her mother?" Alex's face creased with concern Piper hadn't mentioned an outing with Carol.

"Does she not get on with her?"

"N..Not always"

Alex's tone was short Sarah was always so inquisitive it was why she kept their conversations to a minimum.

"Is your mother not coming to visit soon Alex?"

A pang of want washed over her at the nurse's words and it momentarily took her by surprise, Alex faltered as she tried to quell the longing in her heart.

"My mums d..dead"

"Oh Alex I'm sorry"

"D..Don't b..be it was years ago"

Alex knew her tone was harsh but she didn't want to talk about her mother especially not with this over eager little upstart. As if she realised she had maybe crossed a line Sarah did not speak again on the remainder of the trip back to the general ward where Alex's room was and Alex was extremely grateful at being able to remain silent, she couldn't quite seem to shift the lump in her throat.

When they got back to the room the nurse opened the door slowly before she wheeled Alex across the threshold and Alex smiled warmly at the sight she was greeted with her body humming with happiness. Piper had curled up on her bed and was now fast asleep with her arms clutching the pillow tightly, her nose buried in the fabric.

"Piper? Pip-"

"Shhh leave 'er"

Sarah had moved towards the bed but Alex grabbed her arm and held her steadfast giving her a glare. Piper looked so comfortable and relaxed that Alex didn't have the heart to move her and she certainly wasn't allowing Sarah to wake her fiancée.

"But you shouldn't be staying sat in this chair not after the intense Physio session today your muscles are likely to cramp and ache and being sat as you are will only aggravate it"

Alex raised one eyebrow "Leave 'er b..be I'll b..be fine 'ere, I'll call if I need anything"

Sarah glowered at her obvious dismissal, for a moment she looked like she was going to argue but Alex just kept her gaze stern. Piper was staying were she was and it wasn't up for further discussion. Eventually Sarah just snorted and stalked away and Alex was relieved when she didn't slam the door if she had and it had disturbed Piper Alex would have been baying for blood.

Slowly Alex pushed herself forwards so that she was now sat alongside the bed it took her a few attempts but eventually she was settled where she could reach for Piper's hand and she wrapped her fingers around Piper's wrist careful not to wake her. Piper's hair was fanned out some strands falling across her face it came to rest at least three inches past her shoulders and Alex marvelled at how much younger Piper looked with her hair a little longer. She ran her fingers through the soft silky strands trying to be gentle with her awkward left hand. Now that she was sat closer she could see the tell tale sign of tear streaks on Piper's face where her make-up had been washed away slightly and Alex frowned with concern. Half of her wanted to wake Piper and find out what had caused her upset but the other half wanted to let her get the sleep she obviously needed.

Reaching for her iPod she placed one earphone in her left ear wanting something to distract her while she waited as Piper slept on. Reading was still out of the question she struggled to concentrate on the words her brain not up to the task of focusing long enough to understand the stories written and she hated daytime television with a passion. Although she mused the mind numbing programmes would at least be easy for her still healing mind to follow. As she pressed play the music began to sooth her tired fraught mind and she snorted as she recognised the song. She was certain Muse's supermassive black hole didn't class as a relaxing tune. Piper always rolled her eyes over her love of rock music just smiling when Alex had it blaring loudly in their flat she always joked it was like living with a teenage boy. Alex always quipped that there were other ways that she was like a teenage boy always making sure there was a flirty glint in her eye as she said it. It was always a sure way to make Piper flush with want.

The door handle turned slowly and Alex sat upright waiting to see who it was who was disturbing them when she had specifically told Sarah she would call if they needed anything. Nurse Stevens popped her head around the door and Alex visibly relaxed letting a smile cross her features.

"Hey Alex" the nurse whispered and Alex was grateful for her tact "Can I come in?"

Alex nodded and Nurse Stevens came in quietly and perched on the edge of the chair that Piper usually occupied.

"I have just had a call from your speech therapist she says she thinks you'll be fit for signing off by the end of this week" Alex beamed she had been relieved and quietly impressed at the progress she had made with her speech. Now she only stuttered slightly the words flowing much easier and it had been a welcome relief to realise that at least something seemed to be healing with obvious results.

"Physio will have to continue though I know their hasn't been too much progress with your left leg but as everything else is healing nicely we are thinking that it'll be possible to sign you up for out patient therapy which means you will be able to go home soon!"

Alex almost let out a girlish squeal, almost, instead she just grinned and let out a hoarse chuckle. Alex couldn't wait to go home the thought of being able to curl up in her own bed with Piper in her arms comfortably not crammed in the uncomfortable single hospital bed made her want to shout out happily.

"I know somebody who's going t..to b..be pleased"

Nurse Stevens grinned wildly but it faltered slightly as she looked at Piper her face creasing with concern.

"Is she ok?"

Alex shrugged awkwardly in response she didn't know but felt uncomfortable in saying so. Thankfully Nurse Stevens didn't push for an answer she just nodded and stood up placing a hand on Alex's shoulder.

"Do you need any painkillers? I know physio was particularly gruelling today"

Alex shook her head but the nurse just looked at her knowingly.

"I'll bring some in for you later don't try and take on too much I know how much the muscle aches hurt pushing through the pain won't help you in the long run" Alex smiled sheepishly and nodded.

As the door clicked shut Piper began to stir and as her eyes flickered open she smiled sleepily up at Alex who was watching her closely.

"Hey you"

"Hello my sleeping b..beauty"

Piper chuckled sleepily "If I were really sleeping beauty you would have awoken me with a kiss"

Alex rolled her eyes at the obvious hint but she eagerly complied leaning over she pressed her lips to Piper's nibbling along her bottom lip as she did eagerly entwining her tongue with Piper's as soon as her mouth parted. She inwardly smiled as a happy sigh left Piper's lips as she was kissed properly.

"B..Better?"

"Hmm much better I needed that"

Alex's face creased in concern and she looked at Piper waiting for her to expand. Piper however looked away avoiding her stare as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed stretching her arms as she did pouting as her back cracked loudly.

"Getting old Kid"

Piper poked her tongue out "Yeah but you will always be older than me my dear"

Alex laughed "I can't argue with t..that now can I"

"Do you want to get on your bed"

Alex nodded but looked down at her lap hesitantly so far Piper had not had to do much in the way of moving her physically it was usually one of the nurses that helped her to and from her bed and chair. When the nursing staff helped it didn't bother her she reasoned they were just doing the job they were paid to do but with Piper it still felt like an inconvenience, like she was a burden.

"You can take that look of your face I don't mind helping you" Alex grumbled under her breath "Besides I need the practice once you're home it's going to be just me and you I don't want to hurt you because I don't know what I'm doing"

Piper stood up in front of her fidgeting slightly and Alex knew she was waiting for her approval. Swallowing down her pride for the time being Alex lifted her arms in the air.

"Put your arms around my shoulders and t..then lift me upwards. Use your muscles in your legs t..though I d..don't want you putting your b..back out"

Piper smiled and nodded wrapping her arms around her Piper easily lifted her so that she was standing and Alex turned and sat heavily on to the edge of the bed stretching her arms and legs as best she could. Swinging her right leg up onto the bed she was pleased when Piper lifted her left without prompting and Alex sighed with relief as the aches in her muscles eased slightly now they were no longer cramped up in the chair.

"That better?"

"Yes t..thank you"

Alex patted the bed and raised her eyebrows silently inviting Piper to lie back down with her but Piper shook her head and started to put the few things away that littered the surfaces in the room. Alex let Piper carry on with her task watching her with a keen eye Piper's shoulders were tense her posture hunched and Alex knew she was under some form of stress.

"Pipes what's t..the matter? You're cleaning like Cinder f..fuckin rella"

Piper just scowled slightly and didn't answer her just continued to put things away, folding her clothes and making up the camp bed in the corner Alex was going to ask again but Piper spoke up her voice heavy with an emotion Alex couldn't quite pinpoint.

"I met up with my mum today"

"Lunch with mummy d..dearest not go well then?"

Piper shot her a glare and Alex held her hand up apologetically "Sorry, sorry no more b..banter"

"I just don't know why I bother. Each time I try to be positive and think we'll have a nice lunch it's always the same I come away disappointed. There's always something she isn't happy with and if by some miracle it isn't me then she starts on about my dad"

Piper huffed irritably and ran a hand through her hair.

"Today all I've been subjected to is your father this and your father that. She had the audacity to call him selfish! My mum calling anyone selfish is practically laughable and not once did she ask how we were until she was leaving then it was a quick 'I'm sure everything will be fine dear' eurghh she makes me so mad!"

Alex held out her hand to Piper and smiled at her gently "Come here Kid"

Piper came and pressed her lips to Alex's lovingly but she sat down in the chair rather than up on the bed and Alex raised her eyebrow.

"If I get on that bed I'll fall asleep again and you my dear need a shower"

Alex snorted "You d..don't usually mind curling up next t..to my sweaty b..body"

Piper laughed and swatted her arm playfully "No but I've got a surprise planned for you and you won't want to be looking like that when it arrives trust me"

Alex looked at her curiously but Piper just grinned at her not providing her with any further details and Alex chuckled. "You going to help me?"

"Of course any opportunity to see you naked Miss Vause is an opportunity I'm never going to pass"

"You ssssure you're ok?"

Piper nodded and smiled taking Alex's hand in her own she pressed a kiss to lovingly to her knuckles "Yes I am now, bugger my mother I'm not letting her get to me anymore today"

Alex smiled reassuringly glad that Piper was no longer upset.

"Now come on time to get naked!"

* * *

"Jesus Bill these burgers are practically orgasmic I honestly don't think I've ever tasted anything so good!"

"Well I must admit I've sampled some of New York's finest eateries and I don't think I've ever had quarter pounders as tasty as these are. Yours good Piper?"

Piper nodded and Alex almost laughed Bill and Nicky had turned up not 15 minutes ago Bill carrying a large take out box and Nicky a 12 pack of non alcoholic beer. Alex had watched as Piper's face had fallen slightly when she realised tonight's menu was Beefeater burgers.

"I can't b..believe you are actually eating a quarter pounder with all the t..trimmings"

Piper nudged her playfully and Alex scowled as she almost dropped her burger as she tried to stop the beer bottle balanced in her lap from falling to the floor.

"They're some muscles you're sporting there Vause you getting pumped ready for the fuck fest I'm sure you'll have when you get home? You won't be the only one who can't walk afterwards I'm sure!"

Alex's top had risen up when she moved and she pulled it down chuckling as Nicky winked exaggeratedly making lewd gesture involving her fingers and tongue. Bill almost choked on the mouthful of burger he had just taken and Piper leaned over patting her dads back as he coughed and spluttered glaring at Nicky as she did so.

"Sorry Bill I forget sometimes that you are actually Chapman's dad"

Bill took a long drink of his beer his face still flushed red. Looking between Bill and Piper Alex let out a giggle they looked so alike in that moment both sporting the same embarrassed look.

"I think you just make it your mission to embarrass the fuck out of me Nicky"

"Darling language"

Piper's mouth fell open and she looked at her Dad shock on her features "I get told off for my language? Did you hear what this one here just said?"

Bill just raised his eyebrows "'This one' isn't my daughter is she? Now watch your language"

Piper slumped back and moodily picked at the remains of her burger causing Alex to chuckle and lean across pulling Piper into a warm one armed hug pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Don't worry Kid you know I love that d..dirty mouth of yours"

Piper blushed but she giggled and nuzzled her head into Alex's neck and Alex felt her press her lips against her pulse point.

"Nice to know Vause I'm sure Daddy dearest wanted to hear that but hey now it's out there what exactly is it about Piper's 'dirty' mouth you enjoy?"

Bill had turned tomato red and he held his hands up looking suitably horrified "Please do not answer that Alex, I beg you, I don't think I can take anymore"

Alex flipped her middle finger at Nicky and placed her now empty food container on the table at the side of her. "Don't worry B..Bill I 'ave no intention of t..telling this one anything. I'm worried about you Nichols I know I'm irresistible b..but you seem to 'ave an unhealthy obsession with my sex life"

Nicky didn't miss a beat "It's not you its perky tits here I'm lusting after!" Nicky slapped Piper's leg and cackled loudly as Bill placed his hands over his ears groaning as he did so.

Luckily before Bill was subjected to anymore of Nicky's banter the door opened and Nurse Stevens popped her head in smiling wildly "Hi Mr Chapman, Miss Nichols I'm just letting you know visiting ends in half an hour. Can I give you these painkillers Alex?"

Alex nodded and she quickly took the two tablets knocking them back with the beer in her hand. Nurse Stevens eyes widened comically as she looked at all four occupants each holding the dark glass bottles in their hands.

"I hate to be a party pooper but alcohol is strictly prohibited from entering the hospital grounds I'm truly sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to remove it"

Nicky laughed loudly and practically shoved the bottle in Nurse Stevens face "I wish it was! fuckin' hell this stuff is shite we're only drinking it to make this impromptu meal a little more normal so we don't have to sit around drinking kiddy pop or fuckin water" Nurse Stevens just looked at Nicky confusedly and Alex rolled her eyes while holding up the bottle.

"What Nicky is trying to say is it's non-alcoholic b..beer"

Nurse Stevens smiled sheepishly and held up her hands "Sorry that's perfectly fine you can have as much non alcoholic beer as you like Alex"

"Lucky me"

Bill and Nicky both chuckled at her sarcasm as Piper prodded her gently in the ribs.

"You alright now for the night Alex?"

Alex nodded and Piper sat up eagerly smiling at Nurse Stevens "I'll help her with anything she needs"

"I'm sure you will Piper, right well good night everyone remember 20 minutes then you will need to leave"

Bill and Nicky nodded and said their goodbyes as Piper stood up from the bed yawning loudly.

"You tired my darling?"

Piper nodded heavy eyed and Bill pulled her down on to his lap wrapping his arms around her as Piper snuggled into his shoulder. Alex smiled warmly Bill and Piper's relationship was a lovely sight to witness.

"What have you been doing to be this tired Chapman surely lounging around here all day is a breeze unless Vause here has already been putting those new muscles to good use"

Piper kicked out her left leg catching Nicky on her shin and she chuckled as Nicky scowled swearing as she rubbed at her leg.

"I had lunch with my mother today that's enough to exhaust anybody"

Bill nodded solemnly in agreement and Nicky burst out laughing "When do I get to meet the infamous Chapman matriarch?"

"Never if I have my way!"

Bill just laughed loudly and Alex joined in heartily the thought of Nicky and Carol in the same room was hilarious Alex wasn't quite certain that Carol would survive an evening of Nicky's particular humour.

Alex and Nicky continued to talk quietly as Piper stayed on Bill's lap with her eyes closed. Alex smiled as she met Bill's eyes and he gestured his head in Piper's direction "I think this one will be asleep soon"

"I'm still awake you know"

Piper opened one eye and Alex reached out her hand pulling Piper up onto her feet then into her own warm embrace.

"Well I think that's our cue to leave Miss Nichols what do you think?"

Nicky stood up and flung herself at Alex and she swore she could feel her ribs almost breaking under the pressure "Yeah love you t..too Nichols now fuck off"

Bill laughed and he leaned forward and gave her a gentle one armed hug pressing a kiss to her cheek before he moved to Piper repeating his actions.

"Thanks for the food B..Bill"

"Oh it was no trouble Alex. Piper is it alright if I stay at your flat tonight? Your mother is away at her friends and it'll save me having to drive home"

"You can come and stop with me if you like Bill?"

Bill raised his eyebrows looking suitably shocked and Alex sniggered at the innocent look on Nicky's face.

"Er that's very kind of you to offer Nicky but I don't think it would really be appropriate"

"Oh you don't have to worry while I can certainly appreciate the fact that you're an attractive old man, a 'silver fox' I think is the phrase people use, I know it may come as a surprise to you but I am actually, well how do I put this"

Nicky looked around suspiciously then lent into Bill her eyebrows raised high on her head.

"A lesbian"

Alex and Piper both burst out laughing as Bill blushed before he too began to chuckle at Nicky's teasing.

"Yes Dad you can use my flat ignore this idiot here"

"And there's me thinking I could have my own Chapman bed buddy you really do take all the fun away from me don't you"

* * *

"I 'ave something to t..tell you"

Piper opened her eyes sleepily and she turned in Alex's arms so that she could see her face. They had not been in bed long Alex had convinced her to snuggle in with her rather than sleep in the camp bed and although Piper had argued that it would do her muscles no good in the end she had not put up much of a fight. Seeing the relaxed grin on Alex's face lessened some of her tiredness and she raised her eyebrows playfully "Oh do you"

"Yes" Alex was still smiling her face one of glee and Piper pouted knowing Alex was tormenting her by not telling and she found herself becoming impatient.

"Alex..." Piper stuck her bottom lip out as she whined and poked Alex's side playfully.

"B..By the end of this week me and you will b..be sleeping in your b..bed"

Piper felt confused for a moment her tired brain not responding but at Alex's smile the words finally made sense and she felt her own face break out into a huge grin.

"You're coming home?"

Alex nodded and Piper squealed loudly laughing as Alex covered her mouth with her hand gently shushing her so that she didn't disturb the nurses.

"Oh my God Alex! That's brilliant news!"

"I know! I can't wait to be b..back 'ome there's certain things I've missed about you, me and t..that big b..bed of yours"

Piper blushed at Alex's voice which was teasing but laden with want and Piper found her skin breaking out in goosebumps her body shivering with arousal. Alex's hand roamed down her back to her arse and when she squeezed it tightly Piper body involuntarily pressed itself against Alex firmly and she almost moaned.

"Behave we're not home yet"

Alex pouted and Piper moved forwards seizing Alex's lips into a fierce kiss there tongues battled heatedly and Alex's hand continued to caress her body leaving a fiery trail across her skin. Pulling away breathlessly Piper lent her head to Alex's looking deep into her eyes "I love you"

Alex chuckled and placed a quick playful kiss to her lips "I love you t..too b..but if you kiss me like that again I won't be able to control myself"

Piper laughed but she turned over so that Alex could be her big spoon once she was settled she wriggled her bum playfully into Alex's groin smirking when Alex's breath hitched.

"I'm going to d..devour you once we're 'ome"

Piper shivered as Alex's husky voice travelled straight down her ear and she bit down on her bottom lip.

"I want to t..taste what you t..taste like"

Piper could have killed Alex those words whispered down her ear sent a rush of warmth straight to the pit of her stomach her brain quickly recalling the memory of her head between Alex's legs for the first time all those years ago in that bar and her raging libido was quickly beginning to curse the rational side of her brain.

"You are so dead"

Alex just laughed loudly and she pulled her closer pressing a loving kiss to the back of her neck and Piper sighed.

"These next three days best go bloody quickly otherwise I'll be forced to resort to other means"

Alex sat upright her tone indignant "You t..touch yourself and I'll never let you orgasm again"

Piper only laughed and closed her eyes letting the warmth ease over her making her extremely comfortable.

"I'm being d..deadly serious Piper if I suspect you 'ave so much as thought of getting yourself off I will t..tie you to that b..bed and hold out on letting you cum for 'ours"

"Ok, ok I promise"

Alex snuggled back down and Piper was just about to fall asleep when a thought popped into her mind.

"I'm not opposed to the tying down though"

Alex just chuckled huskily.


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N Glad you are all pleased that Alex is coming home! I'm still in awe at how many people seem to be enjoying this story and are taking the time to review it feels flipping marvellous so thank you!**

"The minute we get through this d..door I'm getting straight out of this godforsaken chair!"

Piper ignored Alex's ranting as she continued to push her wheelchair from the car park into her apartment building. All morning Alex had fought the condition that yes she could leave the hospital today but only if she agreed to using the offered wheelchair. Nurse Stevens had not backed down as Alex raged and shouted refusing to sign the release papers until Alex had been firmly settled into the offending chair a scowl fixed across her face. After four weeks in rehabilitation Alex was coming on leaps and bounds her speech almost back to normal she still had the occasional stutter especially if she was suffering with a headache or if she was tired but other than that it was fine and Piper was so proud of Alex. The physical side to things had still not really improved over the last few days Alex's left leg could still not bear any of her weight although she had regained slight movement. The walking frame used during physio was exhausting her physically and mentally the strain at times had been a little too much. Alex was becoming incredibly frustrated but after finally being granted permission to go home she had at least spent most of the morning smiling which was a great improvement from the last couple of days.

"Piper I'm b..being serious I've got crutches that I can use this t..thing is not making an appearance again"

Piper just rolled her eyes though she was smiling like a lunatic she was absolutely ecstatic that Alex was allowed home she knew this was a massive step forward in the recovery process. Half of her was terrified knowing that they were now going to be alone, without a nurse just a push of a button away, was extremely nerve wracking but she was trying hard to conceal her fear from Alex. Piper had decided that with her apartment being on the ground floor it was the sensible option to stay at hers once Alex was more mobile they had decided that they would move back to Alex's flat which would become their home together. It suited everybody Alex preferred her apartment over Piper's and Piper had conceded she too had fallen in love with the place the moment she had first set eyes on it. Bill was also secretly pleased even though he was trying hard not to show it Piper knew her mother was nagging him over making some money by either selling the place or renting it out once Piper had left.

When she reached the end of the corridor Piper leant down and placed a gentle kiss to Alex's cheek before she unlocked the apartment door.

"You glad to be back?"

A wave of what could only be described as pure relief passed over Alex's face and she turned her head pressing her lips to Piper's fiercely one hand coming up to grasp Piper's scarf before she replied "You 'ave no idea"

Piper pulled back slightly flustered but she tampered down her lustful urge knowing there would be plenty time for that later "Come on then and I'll make you a proper coffee"

Alex moaned in pure delight and Piper shivered as she pushed her way through her door. For Alex to moan like that out of the bedroom should be made illegal.

"Well it's about time we never thought you were going to come!"

Nicky's loud voice echoed loudly but Piper only laughed as her bushy haired friend barrelled across the room seizing Alex in a bone crushing embrace while whooping loudly.

"Nice to see you too Nicky"

"Oh don't be jealous Piper you get to curl up next to this hot piece of ass every night from now on. I, on the other hand, have to take every chance I can to touch Queen of the lesbians here"

Alex snorted hugging Nicky back briefly before she pushed her away.

"That's enough loving Nicky fuck off and make yourself useful I'm d..dying for a proper coffee 'ere"

Nicky huffed but threw a wink in Piper's direction before she headed to the kitchen "God anyone would think this one had endured life saving surgery what with everyone at her beck and call"

Alex laughed while shaking her head in amusement and Piper grinned in response.

"I'll have a coffee too Nic' if you're offering"

Nicky just stuck her middle finger up but Piper watched as she took four mugs out of her cupboard.

"You struggling to count Nichols there's only t..three of us 'ere"

"Yeah and hang on a minute how are you sitting in my apartment?"

The moment the words left Piper's mouth there was a knock at door before it opened Bill Chapman stepping across the threshold, key in hand, his arms laden with carrier bags.

"That bloody organic supermarket is full of lunatics! It took me twice as bloody long because every over enthusiastic sales assistant was intent on boring the arse of me providing me with a list of reasons why their products are better for you, like I give a flaming shit! Christ only knows how you shop there every week Piper"

Piper beamed and ran over to help her cursing father place the bags in the kitchen ignoring the crestfallen expression on Alex's face.

"Bill please t..tell me there's some normal food in t..there?"

Bill snorted "Of course what do you take me for"

Alex grinned at him while Piper rolled her eyes she wished she could get Alex to eat healthier but deep down she knew it would always be a losing battle.

"Here I thought you could start with these"

Bill held up a bag of mini snickers chocolates and Alex fist pumped the air.

"Freakin' awesome" Nicky ripped the bag out of Bill's hand almost knocking the coffee pot over in her eagerness and Alex scowled heavily.

"Get your f..fucking paws out Nichols they are mine!"

Nicky just laughed and carried on trying to devour the contents of the bag.

"Bill you reckon you can get me out of this b..bloody contraption?"

Bill nodded not looking at all fazed and Piper found herself unwillingly holding her breath. She had nothing to worry about Bill grasped Alex's shoulders hoisted her up and helped her shuffle over to the couch where she sank back into the cushions a grin stretching across her face.

"Glad to be home?"

Alex continued to smile serenely "You've no idea B..Bill now do me another favour and t..take my snickers off t..that greedy shit in the corner"

Nicky laughed through a mouthful of chocolate then threw the bag in Alex's direction causing the contents to spill all across the floor. Piper carried the four coffees over to the table scowling as she did so side stepping the spilled chocolate.

"You're worse than a child Nic"

"What can I say it's the animal in me" Nicky winked and pinched Piper's bum jokingly "You wanna unleash the beast later Chapman I'm sure Vause won't mind"

Alex just snorted indignantly "Get your 'ands off Nichols if anyone's going to be f..fucking Piper later it's most d..definitely going to be me"

Bill choked on his coffee and Piper glared at Alex who at least had the good grace to look slightly embarrassed "Sorry B..Bill"

"No no that's alright if I had been confined to a hospital bed for the best part of a month I think I'd be wanting a little action when I got home as well"

"Dad!"

Piper was mortified her cheeks on fire as Alex and Nicky just laughed loudly. Pouting sulkily in Alex's direction Piper internally smiled when Alex stopped laughing and patted her leg with her right arm "I'm sorry b..babe come 'ere"

Piper clambered into Alex's lap receiving a loving kiss to her cheek as she nuzzled her head into Alex's neck and Alex stroked a hand up and down her back comfortingly.

"You warm enough?"

Alex nodded and Piper settled back down glad the hospital had warned Piper about allowing Alex to become too chilled. A cold would only aggravate her headaches and it would be dangerous for Alex to catch anything as severe as flu while her brain was still recovering from surgery. If she left the house Alex was to keep her head firmly protected and Piper had bought her a large fluffy Russian style hat to keep her scar warm and one of her own to match. Her dad had fallen about laughing when he had seen them but Piper thought Alex looked incredibly attractive in hers the style suiting her but she did admit she looked a bit of a fool in her own.

"Piper your mother wants to know what you intend to do about Christmas this year?"

Piper physically winced last year she and Alex had been away for Christmas so she had avoided the annual Chapman get together she had missed seeing her family but the annual family party was something she had not been unhappy to avoid.

"I haven't really thought about it Dad to be honest"

Bill just smiled knowingly "Well you best start thinking about it Christmas will be here in just 10 days"

"I have had bigger things to worry don't you think and the thought of being paraded about as the family's biggest disappointment hasn't been high up on my agenda"

Piper's tone was scathing but she didn't care Christmas had always been a difficult holiday to process. Her mother with her obsession for high society did nothing but spend her time obsessing over the annual dinner party she held for the neighbours and members of the golf club. Carol would lecture Piper on everything from what dress would be appropriate _"Do you have to wear that particular dress darling you look like a call girl"_ to who she was allowed to speak to _"Please do not talk to the Newman's dear they still haven't recovered from your outburst over the prison system"_

Alex had only endured two of these dinners and Bill had rescued her early on sneaking her away into his study for a shared whisky with some of her father's friends in attendance. Her mother was less than happy with this arrangement her tone always scathing when they both reappeared smelling of whisky and cigar smoke and Piper knew that it only intensified her mothers dislike of Alex.

"We don't think you're a disappointment Piper"

"You might not but mum certainly does have you asked her recently what she thinks about my life? The last I spoke to her she was devastated that her chance had been taken from her again to find me a suitable male so I could finally begin to live the life she always wanted!"

Alex's hand wound into her top clutching at the fabric tightly and Piper tried to control her frustration she had not told Alex exactly what Carol Chapman had said when Piper had told her that they were back together and this time for good. It would be futile their relationship already strained and Piper didn't want to make things any worse instead Piper had raged at her mother and told her she could either be happy for her or fuck off. Her mother had reluctantly backed off but she still couldn't help but throw in sly comments every time she saw her and Piper was finding it harder and harder to control her temper. The frustration over her mother's unwillingness to be supportive had driven her to tears at their last meeting and she was determined to not let it upset her anymore.

"I'll miss you if you decide not to come"

Piper sighed "Daddy don't try and guilt me lets be realistic Alex isn't up for it and I don't think I could suffer through biting my tongue. I would rather have mum sulk at me now than me embarrass her in front of her friends she would never forgive me"

Bill looked like he was going to argue and Piper raised her chin in defiance but instead he just sighed "I reckon this will be the only year you will get away with not coming so I suppose you should take full advantage of it"

Piper stood up and went and gave her father a big hug planting a firm kiss to his cheek "You're only upset because your whiskey buddy won't be there"

Bills face turned to one of horror "I hadn't even thought of that! Bloody hell Alex I'm going to have to endure the night on my own"

Alex chuckled huskily "I promise I'll make it up t..to you B..Bill"

"What do your family do at Christmas Nicky?" Bill looked curiously but Nicky just shrugged awkwardly not making eye contact avoiding Bills inquisitive stare.

"Dunno anymore before prison I just used to go AWOL now I'm not sure what'll happen" Nicky let out a humourless chuckle "If anything will happen at all"

Nobody answered not really knowing what to say until Alex broke the silence "Bill's gonna need a new d..drinking b..buddy you could be my stand in!"

They all laughed a little two hard to break the tension and Piper wondered if there was some way to make Christmas enjoyable for everyone. She realistically didn't think it was possible.

"Right well as much as this has been fun I've got a hot date"

Alex and Piper both looked at each other before their eyebrows raised and they turned to Nicky expectantly "Oh do you with who?"

Nicky smiled roguishly "I'll let you know if it goes well"

Piper moaned and whined but Nicky didn't relent she shook Bill's hand gave Piper and Alex a hug and then left laughingly shouting "Bye not - lesbians" as she left.

"I think I rather like Nicky" the surprised tone to Bill's voice made both Piper and Alex laugh Nicky Nichols certainly was one in a million.

"I think I'll head home too your mother will be calling soon"

Piper nodded and she fetched her fathers coat kissing his cheek as he stood.

"Thanks for coming B..Bill"

"Oh it's no trouble Alex just give me a call if you need anything and I'll see you later in the week?"

Alex nodded smiling and Piper led her father to the door "Goodbye darling, look after her won't you?"

Piper nodded fiercely "And try not to worry too much you two are going to be just fine"

Her father kissed her cheek waved to Alex who waved back then he too was gone.

"Man it's good to b..be 'ome"

Piper just smiled at Alex's serene expression she locked the door and made her way back to the living room.

"Technically you're not home yet"

Piper smirked but Alex looked at her seriously "I am, 'ome's wherever you are Kid that's all I need, all I t..think I've ever needed"

Tears sprang in Piper's eyes and she settled herself into Alex's lap wrapping her arms around her love she settled her head on her chest listening to the soothing beat of Alex's heart "I love you so much you're home to me as well"

Alex chuckled and Piper sighed contently when Alex squeezed her tighter resting her chin across her head. Yes this was perfect if home is were the heart is then this was it for Piper because the woman in her arms would definitely always hold her heart.

* * *

"Fuck...yes...Al...fuck"

Piper's body was practically humming with anticipation, she was being stretched to her fullest, her body taught with pleasure seeking the sweet relief that only Alex could successfully bring to her. She could feel Alex's own hot naked body spooning her from behind, their skin slick with sweat sliding against one another as Piper's hips arched against Alex's thrusting fingers. Piper flung her right leg over Alex's trying to angle herself so Alex's fingers delved deeper causing Alex to chuckle huskily down her ear and Piper moaned loudly. The change in position caused Alex's fingers to strike gold and after a few more deep hard thrusts Piper felt her pussy walls begin to clench and flutter.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming"

Alex thrust forcefully once, twice and Piper saw stars her body arched and her eyes slammed shut as a wave of pleasure crashed over her spreading through every nerve her whole body tingling.

Piper let her body collapse heavily into Alex's arms barely registering her love placing a gentle kiss to her sweaty temple. She kept her eyes clenched tightly shut as lay perfectly still for a few minutes as she willed her heart to settle down, it was racing in her chest.

"You d..don't seem to be saying much"

Piper opened one eye and scowled up at Alex's smirking face her body was still shaking and her brain felt as though it had been turned to mush. Alex had not been lying when she had stated that once they were home she was going to devour her. Four long drawn out orgasms later and now she could barely move her mind still trapped in post orgasmic bliss. She swore she could still feel the echo of Alex's tongue and fingers bringing her to pure elation and her body and mind shuddered at the thought.

Piper turned her body pushing Alex as she did so that her head was resting on Alex's chest tucked under Alex's chin. Her body was beginning to cool the dampness across her body causing her to shiver slightly and she was grateful for the heat that Alex's body provided.

"What are you t..thinking about?"

"That this wasn't really what I had in mind when I said what do you fancy to eat?"

Alex chuckled and Piper rolled her eyes "Well I wanted my favourite meal it's b..been off the menu for a while and I was intent on 'aving it the moment it b..became available"

Piper laughed loudly and pressed a kiss to Alex's neck caressing her pulse point delicately with her lips as she did so.

They lay entwined together until Alex shivered her skin erupting in goosebumps and Piper sat up and reached for the covers pulling them up firmly around Alex trapping the warmth around them.

"We really do need to get up and eat soon"

Alex just cuddled her closer and Piper had to giggle knowing her lover had no intention of getting up anytime soon. Humouring Alex Piper curled up under her arm and let out a contented sigh she had to admit she had missed being able to cuddle Alex in all her naked glory. Piper just lay basking in the warmth from their bodies listening to Alex's heart beat strongly under her ear and she smiled to herself when she began to feel Alex's legs twitch ever so slightly.

"Al? Darling don't go to sleep"

Alex's body jumped slightly and Piper knew if she hadn't have spoken Alex would have been fast asleep in seconds.

"Humpff you've tired me out Kid"

Piper mocked scowled and nudged at Alex playfully "Excuse me you started this Ms Vause do not try and put this on me"

Alex didn't reply and Piper nudged her again trying to tilt her head so she could see Alex's face. Alex's eyes were fluttering and Piper knew she was losing the fight to stave off the tiredness.

"Love ... you"

"I love you too"

Piper watched as Alex's eyes slid closed and this time she didn't have the heart to try and keep her awake instead she pressed a kiss to her cheek and slowly slid from under her arm. Making sure Alex was firmly wrapped in the duvet Piper quickly made her way to her bathroom. If Alex wanted to sleep she might as well use the time to have a lovely long soak in the bath then she would make them their evening meal.

Piper skipped happily from the bedroom feeling immensely happy before her right leg twinged painfully and she faltered scowling. Her thigh muscle felt taut like it had been pulled and Piper blushed grimacing. Next time Alex was three fingers deep inside of her she needed to move her leg with more care save sporting the embarrassing limp she now hoped the hot water would cure.

Piper tried to move forward normally but as her muscle burnt and pulled she found she could not help the slightly shuffle to her usual gait and she groaned. Nicky would have a field day if she saw her now her premonition of neither of them being able to walk almost coming true and she winced at the thought of Nicky's teasing. This led Piper onto the next realisation and she groaned loudly, her fiancee would definitely think this deserved bragging rights and Piper just shook her head already feeling embarrassed. She hurried to the bath praying that a good soak would shift the 'I've just been thoroughly shagged' shuffle she was currently sporting otherwise she was going to have to make sure the next time Nicky and Alex were together her dad was not in the nearby vicinity.

In fact, Piper decided, she didn't think she wanted to be in attendance either.


	17. Chapter 17

**A.N I apologise for the delay in posting an update I have had an incredibly hectic week which unfortunately seemed to sap away any enthusiasm I had for writing but yesterday I made myself sit down and muster up the urge so I hope that this chapter meets your usual expectations. Thank you for the last reviews and I hope you continue to enjoy.**

When Piper awoke the next morning she could feel the smile already beginning to stretch widely across her lips, the happiness she felt threatening to bubble up from inside her and burst out in a fit of giggles. She tampered down the urge Alex was still sleeping serenely at the side of her and Piper wanted to revel in the feeling of being curled up beside her love for a little longer. For the first time since Alex was admitted to hospital Piper had slept soundly through the night and she was certain it had something to do with the protective arm that was wrapped around her. Alex looked almost childlike when she was sleeping her nose was wrinkled slightly her mouth open, slight snores rumbling from deep within her chest, she looked so adorable it made Piper chuckle quietly. Adorable was a description she knew would cause Alex to scowl. Alex's head was tilted towards her to the left and Piper couldn't help her eyes being drawn to the healing incision on the right. The staples had been removed and it had scabbed well already parts of the wound had healed fully small specks of newly formed pink skin showing. Piper knew it would scar but once Alex's hair had grown back to its usual length Piper was almost certain it would be predominantly covered which she knew would please Alex immensely. At the moment she was still self conscious her hand would worry at it and Piper had scolded her more than once for picking at the healing skin. It was also very sensitive the scar tissue underneath Alex described as feeling tight and uncomfortable which Piper hoped for her loves sake that it would become less over time.

Piper's eyes travelled down from Alex's face to her long lean arm her smile stretching wider when she noticed the hand entwined in her tank top tightly. Alex's left hand was making a perfect fist in her sleep, the hold strong and secure. Piper felt pride wash over her this was the first time Alex had regained a full grip of her left hand that was strong enough to not be easily broken. It felt like a monumental moment for Piper to anyone else it would be an ordinary occurrence to wake in the arms of a loved one but for Piper, who genuinely feared at one point that she would never relive this moment again, it was quite overwhelming and happy tears pricked her eyes. A half laugh half sob fell from her lips as her emotions welled up and she buried her head into Alex's shoulder trying to muffle the sound while taking a deep breath inhaling the scent she loved so much of purely Alex.

"Pipes? You ok?"

Alex's sleep laden voice husked down her ear and she nodded tucking her body as close to Alex as physically possible. Alex reached her right arm across and began to rub soothing circles across her shoulders while shushing her gently.

"It's ok Kid, I'm here, everything's going to b..be fine"

Piper pulled back to look at Alex's face which was stricken with concern and she smiled brightly "Don't look so worried they're happy tears I promise"

Alex studied her face closely for a moment before she broke out into a gentle smile "And just what are you so happy about t..this early in the morning?"

"This" Piper gestured between them "Us, I just can hardly believe it. Have I told you just how proud I am of you"

Alex shook her head bashfully "I've still got a long way t..to go Piper"

Piper scoffed "You're here, you're alive and look" Piper touched Alex's closed fist with her hand lightly "You are doing so well my love"

Alex looked at her hand in confusion before her face broke out into a giddy grin and Piper watched as Alex, concentrating hard, unclenched and reclenched her fist slowly once then twice. Piper tried to pull her top from Alex's grasp but she was unsuccessful Alex's grip staying strong, solid and Alex's expression became one of pure joy.

"Did you see t..that?!"

Alex's excitement was infectious and Piper clambered onto Alex's lap smothering her face in kisses as Alex laughed loudly. Piper's lips met Alex's and their laughs faded away as they explored one another's mouths heatedly exchanging silent declarations of love. When Piper pulled away she was breathless and as she looked into Alex's bright green eyes it felt as if the air had been sucked from the room.

"Am I dreaming?"

Piper's voice was whispered it genuinely felt like she was in a fantasy that she couldn't quite believe it was real. Alex raised her arms, one more slowly than the other, but when they came to wrap around her neck they were strong and sure.

"God I hope not because t..that means I would be t..too and I really don't want this feeling t..to fade away"

Piper laughed, her body feeling free and light, the tension that had been a permanent fixture in her mind for weeks beginning to slowly fade into the background. Piper wriggled trying to shift her legs so that she was straddling Alex's lap more comfortably but as she did she winced, her sore muscle pulling, aching, making its presence sharply known.

"What's t..the matter?"

Piper, although she tried so hard to fight it, could feel her face blush at Alex's words and she averted her eyes from Alex's curious expression not wanting to reply.

"Pipes?"

"I've pulled a muscle"

Piper prayed Alex did not put two and two together but when her love's face broke out into a wide cocky smirk she knew her prayer had been unanswered.

"Just don't even start"

Alex started to laugh her hands coming to tickle her sides playfully causing Piper to squirm and wince.

"It's not funny Alex!"

"Oh I b..beg to differ Kid its fucking hilarious"

"You are such a child"

"If I was a child you would never have pulled t..that muscle because we wouldn't 'ave b..been having hot, awesome, mind blowing, injury inducing sex in the first place"

Alex continued to smile at her smugly and Piper rolled her eyes as her own face broke out into a soft smile.

"Do you fancy joining me in the bath?"

In the hospital Alex had been showering while sitting on a chair in an adapted shower but that wasn't a luxury Piper had here. Instead she thought it would be nice for them to get in the bath together that way Alex wouldn't get cross at Piper hovering to see if she could manage and she wouldn't have to grit her teeth while worrying from behind the door.

"Are you t..trying to get me naked Miss Chapman?"

Alex voice was low and teasing and Piper raised her eyebrows playfully "And if I were?"

Alex grasped Piper's chin and kissed the side of her mouth gently "I would be happy to come and join you in the b..bath. I quite like the idea of your hot, wet, naked b..body settled between my thighs"

Piper nearly choked trying to hold back the moan that wanted to escape at Alex's words instead she fought hard to keep her face impassive.

"Well I was thinking you could be between mine"

Alex chuckled and she kissed Piper heatedly stealing the breath from her body "Go and run the water t..then"

* * *

The heat surrounded them easing the ache in Piper's stiff limbs, the water felt heavenly and Piper had moaned aloud as she had settled herself behind Alex slowly, letting her body become accustomed to the heat. Now with Alex's solid weight against her front and the warmth of the water surrounding her lower limbs Piper let her body relax completely and she wrapped her arms around Alex's naval nuzzling her nose into her fiancées neck lovingly.

"You comfy?"

Piper felt Alex's neck move in a nod but she didn't speak and Piper knew she was still irritated. It had been more difficult than she had anticipated to get Alex into the bath due to the fact her left leg just couldn't possibly hold her body weight alone. It had resulted in a lot of swearing and huffing on Alex's part before Piper had managed to get her settled into the water comfortably. Piper pressed a small kiss to Alex's neck and coaxed the hand that was resting in the warm water into her own loose hold and she ran her thumb soothingly across Alex's knuckles.

"I love being in the bath"

Piper was pleased to hear Alex chuckle and she watched as Alex turned her head so that she could see her face a look of pure amusement across her own.

"Your Disney princess should so b..be Ariel"

Piper laughed loudly and she flexed her feet in the water for a moment wondering what it would be like to have a mermaids tale.

"Thank god your d..dad bought you an apartment with a decent sized b..bath"

"Actually I picked this one, he bought it for me especially"

Piper blushed realising how tremendously spoilt this made her sound. Alex smirked and Piper felt that she had to try and defend herself even though she knew it was pointless.

"What? I like being able to lie down and actually have all of my body under the water not just my top or bottom half"

"Hey I'm not complaining Kid finding a b..bath that's comfortable when your 5ft10 is no easy feat but finding one that accommodates you and your fiancée is pretty impossible. You d..did good"

Alex turned her head and kissed Piper's lips softly "But you really are d..daddy's little princess"

Piper mocked scowled she couldn't deny it even if she wanted to. Apart from when she had originally been incarcerated, and that was mainly due to the web of lies she had told and the life she had hidden away, Piper had never been able to do any wrong in Bill Chapman's eyes. Whatever she had wanted in life he would always try and get it within reason not hesitating in flashing his cash if it put a smile on her face. Since her experience at Litchfield Piper had become much more aware of exactly how lucky she was and she had toned down on the complaining she made to her father. Now when he brought her treats or little surprise she always made sure to be very appreciative and even more thankful trying to remember that she was one of the lucky ones. She knew she was blessed having a father who would do anything for her that she asked.

"Alex can I ask you something?"

"You just d..did"

Piper rolled her eyes and Alex just smiled "Go on t..then"

"Does it upset you?"

Alex just looked at her in confusion and Piper elaborated trying to choose her words carefully.

"I guess what I'm trying to ask is does my relationship with my dad bother you?"

Alex continued to study her silently and Piper found herself garbling trying to reason why she was asking.

"You know because you've never had one"

Piper actually groaned as the words left her lips sometimes she wanted to kick herself. How anybody could go from careful and eloquent to brash and insensitive in seconds bemused her because that's exactly what she did with her foot and mouth syndrome.

"Jesus I'm sorry that did not come out the way I wanted it to"

Alex smiled although it was slightly strained and Piper hesitated worried she had overstepped the mark.

"I'm not jealous now and no it doesn't b..bother me sometimes I get a bit wistful you know? I look at you and t..think it would have been nice to 'ave had t..that relationship growing up"

Alex face was impassive until she scowled her forehead creasing suddenly "Not with my fucking sperm d..donor though he was a waste of space and would have been a d..dead beat dad. Me and my mum were b..better without him I know that for certain"

Piper winced in sympathy and Alex raised a hand cupping Piper's cheek as she tilted her head back pressing a kiss to Piper's lips.

"Don't look so d..devastated you don't miss what you've never had and anyway I t..turned out alright didn't I?"

Piper chuckled "Not just alright you're perfect"

Alex just smiled modestly "And b..besides your dads made up for it over the last few years I've grown really fond of B..Bill and the relationship we have"

Piper beamed and nuzzled Alex's nose before she captured her mouth with her own. Stroking her thumb up and down Alex's stomach under the water made Piper's brain kick up at notch and it was like a thunderbolt had struck. She was here, in this water, with one incredibly naked Alex Vause between her thighs and so far she done nothing. A shot of arousal travelled straight through her body, as her brain was assaulted with images of Alex writhing breathlessly underneath her, settling deep into the pit of her stomach and her muscles clenched in anticipation. Letting her hand begin to wander slowly upwards Piper licked along Alex's bottom lip as her hand came to rest upon her breast.

"Hmmm"

As Alex hummed appreciatively Piper deepened the kiss entwining her tongue with Alex's as they began their battle for dominance. This time Piper was determined to win. Her fingers came to rest on Alex's nipple which began to harden under her touch and she stroked and pinched gently at the hardening peak before switching to the other breast lavishing it with the same attention. Alex began to strain forwards her body pushing harder against Piper's hand as she continued to palm and knead Alex's impressive breasts. When Piper reluctantly had to pull back to breathe she smirked as Alex gasped and bit down hard her top teeth clamping onto her bottom lip. Piper kissed her way up Alex's neck until she reached her ear and breathed heavily, feeling smug as the sensation caused Alex's skin to erupt in goosebumps.

"That feel good Al? You getting wet for me darling?"

Alex nodded breathlessly and Piper tugged at her earlobe with her teeth, her own body beginning to flush with arousal. Alex's body began to strain harder and Piper pulled her hand away from its current task of tweaking Alex's rock hard nipple and let it slowly begin to inch its way down Alex's chest and stomach before coming to rest just above her clit. Piper plundered Alex's mouth with her tongue taking her by surprise and she kissed Alex furiously leaving no corner of her mouth unexplored determined to have Alex practically begging with want before she touched her where she really wanted.

Her left arm was still wrapped around Alex's hand and she moved it upwards instead bringing it across Alex's chest to pull and tease on her nipples once more.

"Jesus Piper..."

There was nothing more sexy than Alex's already incredibly arousing husky tones being layered with want and need. It made Piper pulse, her body thrumming with the urge to consume the woman in her arms. Capturing Alex's lips once more Piper let her fingers inch downwards a heady groan leaving her as she felt the slickness of Alex's arousal. Even in the water it was obvious just how turned on Alex was and Piper marveled in it "Fuck Alex ..."

Wanting to feel more Piper was just about to tell Alex to spread her legs when she faltered for Alex it wouldn't be as simple as just following her command, not while her left side was still so weak. Trying not to let Alex sense her unsureness with how to proceed she continued to kiss her thoroughly while flicking her nipple between her fingers. While still keeping their lips together Piper reached for Alex's hand that was clutching the edge of the bath like a lifeline and took it in her own. She brought it upwards guiding Alex up over her shoulder, under Piper's hair onto her neck breaking the kiss she breathed into Alex's ear.

"Hold on to me"

She was pleased and relieved when Alex instantly complied her grip strong but not uncomfortable at the base of her neck. While her right hand returned to teasing Alex, sliding her fingers up and down her dripping slit, Piper brought her left hand away from its current ministrations of tweaking Alex's nipple and brought it down to Alex's left thigh. Wrapping her hand around the weakened muscle Piper pulled up hard bringing Alex's leg upright exposing her centre to Piper's teasing fingers.

"Move your right leg... God I want to see all of you"

Piper almost laughed when Alex threw her leg over the side of the bath hurriedly the desperation evident but as her gleaming centre came into view, her clit swollen and her core dripping, all rational thought flew out of the window and Piper could do nothing but stare in awe.

"Pipes... Please? Fuck I need you to t..touch me"

Piper shook her head to regain her wits and she smirked "Oh but I am touching you" she continued her feather light stroking knowing it was driving Alex wild.

"You know what I mean Kid"

Alex's voice was heavy with lust and Piper decided to comply her fingers inched upwards and she pressed down hard into the hot fleshy spot loving the buck of Alex's hips as she rubbed hard circles against her throbbing clit.

"Fuck Pipes"

Piper would never tire of the feeling of Alex's pussy hot and ready under her fingers it still marvelled her, empowered her the same way now as it did when she was 23. The fact that she could make this strong cocky confidant woman fall apart from her actions, by her hand, was a high that nothing could mimic. Piper was certain that not even the heroin Alex once imported could make you feel as good as she did now.

Piper could feel her own arousal beginning to coat Alex's skin that was leaning against her and she found her body could not help but arch upwards the pressure from Alex's back against her hardened clit feeling heavenly.

"Do you like my fingers Alex, how they feel as they rub against you?"

Alex only moaned in response the grip of her hand tightening against Piper's neck, her body straining, her hips flexing hard and Piper prayed the water stayed in the bath not wanting to flood her bathroom floor.

"You feel so fucking good, so hot and wet, shall I carry on rubbing, touching you or shall I fuck you deep and hard so you cum with my fingers buried deep inside you?"

Alex's eyes fluttered shut and she moaned louder at Piper's hot and heavy words whispered into her ear.

"Inside... Inside, I'm so close Pipes"

Piper leaned forwards and kissed Alex hard moving her fingers down to her dripping opening as she did. Plunging her tongue into Alex's mouth Piper curled two fingers slightly and thrust hard, burying them knuckle deep into Alex's hot wet sex and she swallowed Alex's responding moan at the welcome intrusion. Piper could feel her own head spin and her clit throb at the sensation of Alex's hot wet walls surrounding her fingers, pulling them deeper and she knew she herself would not last long. Thrusting her fingers back and forth harshly Piper could not help but match her own thrusts with her hips and evidently neither could Alex as both their hips pitched upwards in perfect synchrony.

"Yes Piper..."

"Fuck Alex..."

Their breathy pants and moans plus the sound of the water pitching in the bath tub echoed in the room the tiled walls magnifying the sounds. Alex's slick wet walls began to clench tightly around her fingers as Piper felt her own orgasm approaching and she forced her burning muscles to pump her hand faster, making sure to hit Alex's clit with the heel of her hand with each thrust.

"I'm fucking close Al you going to cum with me baby?"

Alex let out a strangled gasp and Piper's vision blurred as her hips jerked forcefully her own orgasm hitting her hard as Alex's muscles spasmed and clenched around her fingers almost painfully.

"Fuck Piper fuck...fuck...fuck"

Piper continued to thrust jerkily letting Alex ride out every last bit of her orgasm as her own body began to come down from its euphoric state. Both their bodies collapsed limp and sated and Alex tilted her head giving Piper a sloppy kiss which Piper eagerly returned. They were silent as they caught their breaths and let their flushed bodies settle and Piper could feel her limbs becoming a dead weight. The silence was only broken when Alex chuckled hoarsely and Piper quirked an eyebrow turning her head so that she could see her lover's flushed smiling face clearly.

"The waters gone cold"

Piper laughed loudly and she wrapped her arms around Alex pulling her close as she kissed her cheek.

"Well let's get washed up and we'll finish this in the bedroom"

Alex only smirked "Well t..that's an offer I can't refuse"


	18. Chapter 18

**A.N Hi everyone i'm sorry i'm late in updating I have been away in Europe for a long weekend and have only just got caught up on boring things like work and washing :( So here is my belated chapter and I thank you all for waiting patiently.**

 **Oh and as a warning to the guest reviewer who does not seem to be enjoying my portrayal of Bill Chapman (I know and agree that he's not a nice guy in the TV series I've just made him a good chap in my universe) he's back in this chapter and will continue to appear frequently in the future.**

 **As always thank you for the previous reviews, they always make me smile in happiness and appreciation, and if you have a moment please continue to let me know what you think :)**

"You have three days before its Christmas Eve to decorate your apartment and buy all your gifts. Why don't let me take Alex to get her stuff and you can then get your own without flapping trying to hide from Alex what you are buying then you won't have to worry the same"

Piper studied her fathers earnest face and felt guilty. Bill was spending so much time travelling between his home and Piper's apartment spending up to 4 hours in the car each time but he was insistent, not listening to her protests that they were fine.

"Dad you must be exhausted this is the second time you've visited this week surely you would rather stay in? We can have a coffee and watch a film"

Bill snorted and Piper raised her eyebrows "Piper I'm not that old I don't need to snooze the afternoon away just yet. You've just said how much you've got to do and you will never get it done in time while you're keeping such a close eye on Alex so let me help"

Piper still hesitated she knew Alex wouldn't be bothered at being without her for the afternoon she had told her just yesterday to stop with her fussing and just go and get her shopping done. But Piper was struggling she didn't want to leave her on her own, she had the nagging feeling that if she wasn't there something would happen. Deep down she knew it was irrational but she was struggling to overcome it no matter how hard she tried to push the fear away it still remained. Piper bit her lip and looked at her father whose face was so earnest and she let out a sigh of resignation. If she was going to trust anybody to look after Alex while out and about it would be her father.

"Come on I love spending time with Alex she's funny, she gets me and have you seen her, she's gorgeous! Other men look at me with envy when she's on my arm!"

Alex's husky laugh echoed in the kitchen as Piper groaned loudly at her father's inappropriate teasing. Bill turned to Alex, grinning wildly, not at all embarrassed at being caught "Well its true you are!"

Alex had actually blushed a non too easy feat to accomplish which made Piper begin to chuckle although she did slap her dads arm as Alex slowly came towards them using her crutches.

"Ow! What was that for?"

Piper scowled at Bill while trying to keep a smile off of her face as she did "Fawning over my fiancée I'm well aware she's gorgeous beyond reason but as her father in law you need to learn to hold your tongue, its inappropriate"

Alex just grinned and winked at Piper exaggeratedly "Well as much as it's flattering b..being called gorgeous what's the occasion?"

Piper bit her lip and looked at her father worriedly she opened her mouth to speak first but Bill was not to be deterred in his excitement, his arms gesturing wildly as he spoke.

"Me and you are going Christmas shopping! I need to get Carol's presents and I'm sure you've got gifts you need to buy"

Alex nodded although her face became slightly strained and she looked to the floor shuffling awkwardly on her crutches. Bill must have mistook her action for nerves about the crutches because his next words were "You don't have to walk we can use your chair"

Piper inwardly groaned there was no way Alex would agree now she had refused to set her backside back in the damn thing since they had returned from the hospital apart from the physio appointments she had had to attend and even then it had been a battle.

Predictably Piper watched as Alex scowled heavily but Bill just nudged her shoulder "Stop looking like that it'll be great! We can push through all the crowds, ram people bodily out of the way. I can't think of a better use for that contraception and nobody's going to say anything to a pensioner and a cripple!"

"Daddy! That is a terrible thing to say"

Alex began to laugh as Bill's enthusiasm shone in his expression, although he did look guiltily at Piper for his choice of words, and Piper wanted to hug her father right there and then he always seemed to know exactly what to say to get Alex on side.

"Sorry Piper I was just trying to make a point|"

"Ok I'll use the b..bloody chair but no complaining when you get tired of pushing me around old man"

Piper looked between them both incredulously before she just smiled shaking her head.

"Hey Pipes can you pass me some painkillers?"

Piper's eyebrows shot up and she looked at Alex concerned "Have you still got a headache?"

As they went to bed the night before Alex had been complaining of a niggling headache but she had also been coughing and wheezing on and off throughout the last few days and there was no sign of it getting any better. In fact Piper was certain it had worsened.

Piper had immediately began to panic blaming herself for the various outings they had made for some fresh air. They hadn't been far just the local coffee shop and the park each time Piper had wrapped Alex in as many layers possible her fiancée humouring her with a wry smile. Last night as Alex had wheezed on and off she had felt the panic build but Alex had shushed her, taken two painkillers and told her to stop worrying, while cuddling her fiercely. It hadn't stopped Piper from waking periodically through the night checking over Alex as she slept.

"It's just a touch of cold kid and the headache will just b..be from the coughing while my heads still so b..bleeding sensitive"

Piper didn't feel appeased and she watched as Alex propped herself and her crutches up against the kitchen counter. Piper smiled though as Alex's long arms wrapped reassuringly around her shoulders allowing the warmth from Alex's body to settle over her.

"We need to keep an eye on it though Alex I don't want it to make you really poorly"

Alex pressed her lips to her temple soothingly "I'll be fine I'll take the painkillers, have a coffee and wrap up warm. It's just a cold it'll b..be gone in a couple of days you don't need to worry ok?"

Piper nodded, although she averted her eyes from Alex's, quickly flicking the kettle on and getting the necessary medication. Alex coughed loudly at the side of her and Piper quickly passed her the drugs.

"I'll have a tea Piper if you don't mind?"

Piper nodded and tried to smile at her father but she was pretty sure it came out more as a grimace her nerves feeling stretched especially combined with the little sleep she had managed. With careful precision she filled three mugs with hot water and left her father's tea to stew while she made herself and Alex an instant coffee. Once Piper had finished they all went and sat down in the living room, her father in the armchair, Piper on the couch sitting as close to Alex as physically possible and she tried to avoid her fathers eye as he looked at her sympathetically.

"Well once we've had these Alex I think we'll make a move I don't want to be travelling home too late I think I'm due at the Mason's at 9 for 'Pre-Christmas drinks' tonight and God forbid if I'm late"

Bill scowled and Piper snorted laughing her father had always despised their overbearing neighbours finding them false and pretentious. Her mother however loved being in the thick of things and it was an invitation that was always readily accepted at her end.

"Is their son still trying to hide the fact that he's the biggest homosexual in Connecticut?"

"Oh yes he still turns up each time a different beautiful escort on his arm looking terrified for the entire evening in case anybody says anything that could 'out' him. I sympathise with him the poor boy must be bloody awful to be that fearful of your parents"

Piper smiled sympathetically she could still remember how she had felt when trying to hide the life she was living with Alex, lying about who she was with and where she had been. If she could turn back the clock knowing what she knew now she wouldn't hesitate at taking Alex home with her as her girlfriend and sometimes it saddened her that Bill especially didn't get to meet Alex the first time around.

"Is that why you didn't bring Alex home all those years ago?"

Piper watched as Alex's face became guarded. Although Alex had joked about being 'the invisible woman' when they were together playing on it to make her laugh deep down Piper knew that it had hurt Alex being hidden away like a dirty little secret.

"Not really in the same way I wasn't worried that you would disown me if I turned up with a woman. It just felt like you had my life planned out for me Daddy and the lesbian drug smuggling girlfriend certainly didn't seem to be a piece of that carefully constructed puzzle"

Bill looked put out "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy Piper"

Piper smiled at her dad over the rim of her coffee cup "I know that now but at the time Mum with the grand Chapman plan was suffocating. I wanted adventure, freedom ...love" Piper squeezed Alex's hand tightly in her own "Not a boring job, in a boring life with a boring boyfriend who I would predictably marry, pop out a couple of kids then wake up 30 years later and wonder where my life went"

Piper sighed it was a funny feeling now thinking back to how she felt at the time especially now when she was so happy with Alex "At the same time I didn't want to disappoint you so I hid it all; Alex, the adventures, that part of myself"

Bill nodded sadly "We never did understand why you were so unhappy after your supposed 'travelling with Polly'. You had no interest in anything or anybody for such a long time afterwards, your mother insisted it was just holiday blues at being back home but I knew it was something else"

Piper watched as Alex's eyebrows twitched slightly and she knew she was surprised to hear how unhappy Piper was after she left her.

"I broke my own heart the day I broke Alex's I just didn't realise until I was back in the safe and stable life I thought I was missing. Just goes to show you don't always know how much you need something until it isn't there anymore. I know I healed and moved on with Larry but still sometimes I wonder"

Piper smiled sadly at her dad and she was surprised when Alex pulled her into a gentle hug kissing her cheek as she did.

"It all turned out for the b..best Kid don't fret over a past you cannot change"

Piper hummed in response her smile brightening as she noticed Bill looking at Alex with nothing but admiration and she could feel emotion beginning to build behind her eyes.

"Right enough reminiscing, you two will need to leave soon if you want enough time to actually be able to buy presents for everybody today"

Alex coughed loudly then cleared her throat before she chuckled hoarsely "Who's 'everybody'? I've got Nicky and your dad who else do I have to buy for?"

Piper opened her mouth in mock shock and swatted at Alex's arm as Bill chuckled in the background before he winked at Piper, his face smirking mischievously "Carol who else?"

* * *

"So you got everyone's gifts here apart from mine - which I totally don't understand why you've hidden away I can actually control myself - and Vause's? What you buying that sexy mother fucker?"

Nicky was sat crossed legged in her living room surrounded by tinsel, baubles and wrapping paper while Piper was running around like a mad woman trying to wrap presents, write cards and put string on baubles all at the same time.

"It disturbs me how much you seem to lust after my fiancée do I need to be worried?"

Nicky just laughed loudly and stuck a bow to Piper's forehead "Nah she's all your's champ have you seen the sickening way she looks at you? Soft as shit that one which so isn't my thing"

Piper stopped her present wrapping for a moment as she beamed at Nicky causing her wild haired friend to chuckle and shake her head "You don't seem to be answering me Chapman what you bought?"

"Nothing"

Nicky gave a yeah right and laughed but Piper just carried on with her wrapping, smirking at Nicky's disbelieving look "I'm not lying I haven't technically bought her anything"

"You going to wrap yourself up in some ribbon with some strategically placed bows"

Piper blushed hard she had been there and done that the first Christmas out of Litchfield. It had been the second time Alex had made her squirt something which her love had been immensely proud about.

"You kinky bitch Chapman!"

"No! That isn't what I'm doing"

"Hmmm why so secretive then?"

Piper shook her head she felt unsure about her plan for Alex on Christmas morning and was a little afraid of admitting out loud in case Nicky thought it stupid.

"My plan is to take her to Paris once she's finished with her treatment so technically I don't have anything to give her" Nicky just looked at her blankly and Piper felt she needed to explain "I want us to have some happy memories in the place that holds quite a painful part in both our hearts I want to make it right, prove that we've come full circle"

Nicky still didn't say a word and Piper looked down at her lap feeling deflated "I thought it was a good idea"

"It is Piper it's a wonderful idea she'll be thrilled I'm sure"

Piper lifted her head and smiled hesitantly "Do you think?"

Nicky smiled reassuringly and plucked the bow from Piper's forehead "Yeah I really do"

They continued to wrap the gifts and then tidied up the mess of discarded paper and tape before they settled on the couch a beer for Nicky, wine for Piper.

"What time are they coming home?"

Piper frowned at the clock it was already half past 6. Piper presumed that they would be back by now but she was resisting the urge to call her father for fear of fussing.

"Soon I think, my dad has some thing planned with my mum later and if he's late there will be hell to pay"

Nicky just raised her eyebrows "Your mother sounds like a bit of a handful Chapman"

Piper snorted "Oh you have no idea"

Piper's relationship with her mother had been strained ever since she had got back with Alex and even more so since everything with Alex's illness. Piper knew it was because deep down her mother still wished that Piper would settle down meet a nice man and have children something which saddened Piper. She wished her mother could just accept her happiness and let her own idea of what Piper needed to be happy go.

"We should introduce our mothers some time I'm sure they would get along like a house on fire they seem to be from the same mould"

Piper nodded she was grateful to have Nicky in her life she understood exactly what it was like to grow up the black sheep of the family with a mother that prioritised her own happiness and appearance rather than that of her children's.

"I hope they're back soon Alex hasn't been too good these last couple of days"

Nicky sat up her face going uncharacteristically serious and her fingers began to worry at the label across her beer bottle "What's been the matter?"

"She's been coughing and wheezing complaining of a headache and-"

"Oh for fucks sake Chapman calm your tits, sounds to me like she's got a pissing cold! For a moment there I was beginning to worry!"

Piper smarted at Nicky's words and looked at her indignantly "Well I am worried she's still recovering from major surgery!"

"You worry too much its December everybody gets a cough and cold she'll be fine"

Nicky waved her hand as she spoke dismissing Piper before she replied and Piper found herself feeling stupid. It was true she knew she was probably overreacting but she couldn't help it she was naturally cautious and hesitant anything out of the ordinary caused her to stress and worry.

Loud voices startled Piper from her thoughts and she rolled her eyes as she recognised her fiancée and father's voices singing Christmas songs out of tune loudly in the corridor outside. She stood and went over to the door smiling at the sight through the spy hole of them both laughing loudly their faces flushed.

"Come on, in you come before I get complaints from the neighbours"

Bill grinned and kissed Piper on the cheek "I best not come in I'm already late we did a little whisky tasting in Selfridges and lost track of time"

"Are you ok to drive?!"

Bill just laughed "Oh yes this one here did most of the 'tasting' if you get my drift"

Piper turned furiously to look at Alex who was giggling in her wheelchair like a naughty child.

"Don't be cross we've had a great time and whisky is practically medicinal it's definitely kept the cold at bay and it'll have warmed her chest, help shift that pesky cough"

Piper just kissed her dads cheek disgruntled and pushed him back out of the door "You two are going to be the death of me"

Bill laughed not looking at all guilty "Probably, now I'm going see you on Christmas Eve remember your mother should be coming as well so make sure there's plenty of wine to keep her sweet!"

Piper just laughed as her father waved and pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek as he left. She shut the door turning to look down at Alex, with her arms folded, who was smirking up at her.

"What am I going to do with you?"

Alex leant forwards and clumsily wrapped her arms around Piper's waist pulling her so that she was now sat on her knee.

"Oh there are plenty of things I'd like you to do to me Kid"

Alex's right hand rose up and palmed at Piper's breast her fingers seeking out her nipple. Piper's breath hitched and her cheeks flushed when she heard Nicky snigger and she turned her head to Alex her eyebrows coming up in warning as Alex smirked at her seductively.

"Behave we've got a guest"

Alex pouted moodily and began trying to look around Piper to see who it was that was interrupting. Her face relaxed into a cheeky smile and Piper shook her head when she looked at Nicky who was grinning wildly with her thumbs up.

"It's only Nichols I b..bet she would love to watch me fuck you seven ways 'til Sunday. She can take notes b..bet she's never seen anything as impressive as me in the b..bedroom"

Alex smirked cockily and Piper rolled her eyes as Nicky burst into a fit of giggles.

"Jesus Vause we need to get you drunk more often it's fuckin' hilarious"

"I'm only speaking the truth Nic' come on what do you say you wanna stay for the show?"

Nicky looked as if she was actually considering it and Piper stood up abruptly "Right bed for you I think"

Seizing the handles of Alex's wheelchair she began to push her through to the bedroom "See how eager she is? B..Bet you can't get a woman to drag you this quickly to b..bed Nichols"

"No you're obviously quite the charmer aren't you Vause"

Piper gestured to a still giggling Nicky that she would be back in a minute and quickly pushed Alex through to the bedroom.

Piper gathered Alex's negligee and pulled the covers back on their bed, turning on the bedside lamp as she turned back towards her fiancée. Piper smiled softly as she watched Alex's eyes becoming heavy a drunken smile still spread on her lips.

"Come on get hold of my shoulders"

Alex's warm weight settled on her as Piper hoisted Alex out of her chair and gently placed her on the bed. Alex did not lower her arms instead she snuggled her head into Piper's neck letting out a contented sigh. Piper squeezed her tightly her heart swelling at the feel of Alex in her arms, she would never take this feeling for granted ever again. She slowly began stripping away Alex's clothes laughing internally as Alex's eyes had already begun to flutter with tiredness. Whiskey always had this affect on Alex if she was drunk on beer they would fuck all night long if Alex had her way but too much whiskey sent her to sleep and Piper knew she would be out like a light in no time.

Alex started to wheeze and cough suddenly her chest sounded constricted and Piper frowned "I'll just go and get you some water"

Piper went to the bathroom and filled a large glass coming back into the room she smiled as Alex was already lying down her hair spread out over the pillow. Pulling the covers up over Alex Piper made sure she was tucked in, her body fully covered and she pressed a kiss to her head tenderly.

"Sleep my darling"

Piper frowned lightly as she pulled away and she placed a gentle hand to Alex's head. Her skin was hot to touch and Piper couldn't decide whether it was the drink or her body fighting the cold. Piper swallowed down her nerves determined to stop her fussing and made the decision to see how Alex was in the morning, trying to rouse her now would be near damn impossible.

Piper pressed one last kiss to Alex's lips and squeezed the hand tightly in her own "Love you" was her mumbled response and Piper smiled "I love you too"

Turning out the light Piper tiptoed out of the room and closed the bedroom door softly before she turned into the living room and was greeted with the sight of a smirking Nicky.

"Well thank fuck for that! For a moment there I thought I was gonna have to start scrabbling around for some headphones!"


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N I had a plan when I started writing this story which I deviated from when I saw how much interest people held in this tale it has genuinely taken me by surprise and originally I had not planned to write this many chapters.**

 **Thank you for the reviews ... 210 I can scarcely believe it I'm so grateful!**

 **I am trying to still update regularly even though life is getting terribly busy at the moment and I thank you all for bearing with me and leaving your kind words after each chapter.**

"Al... Alex wake up"

Alex squinted blearily the light coming through the curtains making her immediately slam her eyes back shut. The brightness was blinding making her head throb and a wave of nausea ran over her body settling into her stomach making her want to heave.

"Al come on you need to wake up"

Her head felt terrible like a herd of elephants were pounding through her brain as Piper's voice rang in her ears. She groaned and rolled her tongue around her mouth almost gagging at the taste of stale whiskey that lingered on her gums.

"I've brought you some water come on sit up"

Alex forced one eye open and Piper's concerned face slowly came into view, crouched at the side of the bed. Alex tried to smile but she was fairly certain she failed when Piper winced sympathetically her face creased with concern.

"How much whiskey did you 'taste' yesterday?"

"Too fucking much" her voice sounded gravelled, hoarse and Alex would have laughed at how terrible she sounded had she not felt quite so awful. Her chest felt tight and she coughed hard wincing as it aggravated her headache and caused her throat to burn.

"I'm going to kill my dad on Christmas Eve"

Alex chuckled immediately wishing she hadn't when her head throbbed in response. Right at this moment she too felt like she could cause bodily harm to one Bill Chapman. Stretching her body Alex finally opened both eyes feeling relieved when it no longer hurt just to see.

"Have a drink love it'll make you feel better"

Alex gratefully took the offered glass gulping the cold water down quickly immediately feeling some relief as it did remove some of the foul taste from her mouth.

"What time is it?"

Alex groped for her glasses on the bedside table and she scowled when she couldn't find them until Piper pressed them to her hand. Alex smiled softly in thanks and placed her glasses onto her face the room coming into clearer focus.

"Just after dinner I didn't want to wake you too early but I was getting worried"

Alex reached for Piper's hand and pulled her arm gesturing for her to get into bed. Piper tucked into the groove of Alex's body immediately becoming her 'little spoon' and Alex sighed as the warmth from Piper's body seeped into her skin, she felt cold and shivery as if damp had settled right into her very bones.

"You are so warm"

Alex frowned she didn't feel warm but she stayed quiet not wanting Piper to fuss over her too much. It would be unfair to cause her love to worry all because she was suffering from a self inflicted hangover. Coughing again Alex tried to still her body not wanting to dislodge Piper but it was futile. The hacking cough wouldn't shift and she sat slowly upright the room spinning as her chest heaved. Piper followed her movement coming to sit upright at the side of her rubbing her back as Alex coughed and spluttered. As she tried to control her breathing age watched as Piper's face became serious, her brow creased with concern. Slowly the coughing eased and Alex felt her chest loosen enough to allow her to take a deep breath. Piper's face relaxed slightly but then she sneezed and Piper immediately scowled jumping upright.

"I knew it, I knew you were poorly I think we should go to the hospital"

Alex reached for Piper's hand stopping her mid pace and she made sure her face was set in a reassuring smile "Pipes it's just a cold I'll b..be fine"

"But Nurse Stevens said-" Alex shook her head and pressed her finger to Piper's lips. Ignoring the worried scowl that was creasing her love's forehead she pulled Piper back onto the bed so that she was sat in front of her. Alex cupped Piper's chin and made her look directly into her eyes as she spoke keeping her voice calm.

"Nurse Stevens said to keep an eye out for things that are out of the ordinary. I'm not dying Kid it's just a cough and a cold it's nothing I haven't had b..before"

Piper still looked worried and she ran her hand over Alex's scar causing Alex to wince slightly. It still felt tender even though the incision had healed, the staples removed and her hair had begun to grow back slowly.

"How do you feel honestly?"

Alex rolled her eyes "Like shit"

Piper's eyes widened in alarm.

"B..But I think it's more to do with the hangover from hell I'm currently experiencing"

Piper nudged her playfully then settled back into Alex's arms her body was still slightly tense and Alex ran a hand slowly up and down her arm trying to ease the taught muscles. Slowly but surely she felt Piper's body begin to relax back into her own and she smiled softly.

"Did you buy any of the whiskey you tried?"

Alex shook her head "No but I think your dad b..bought more than his fair share I b..bet your mum went mental when he arrived home"

"Oh well it will have made his appearance at the Mason's slightly more bearable with something decent to drink. Irene Mason usually insists on everyone drinking eggnog or mulled wine much to dads disgust"

Alex chuckled understanding Bill's horror she never had understood the holiday tradition of eggnog or snowballs they were vile tasting yet everyone suffered through them for the sake of holiday spirit.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to your parents on Christmas Day?"

Piper turned in Alex's arms so that she was looking into the bright blue eyes Alex loved so much "No I don't I want to stay here just me, you and the Christmas tree I have finished putting up this morning, maybe ask Nicky if she fancies a visit?"

Alex nodded although she still felt a little uncertain and she marked it down to guilt that she was the reason Piper didn't want to be with her family.

"You can go if you want to I wouldn't mind I could always stay here with Nichols" Piper sulked pouting and she pressed her lips to Alex's causing Alex to sigh happily into the tender embrace.

"Well I would mind I'm not spending Christmas without my fiancée. I would have to be mad to pick my mother over you and besides Cal says he'll come to visit after Boxing Day so we can see him then"

Alex smiled genuinely she really liked Piper's younger brother his quirkiness made her laugh and he was so chilled and down to earth it was always nice to spend time catching up with him.

"He says he's got some news to tell us I'm wondering if he's proposed to Neri"

"Hmm or she's pregnant!"

Piper laughed loudly her body finally relaxing fully and Alex snuggled her closer.

"God I can't imagine Cal with a baby can you?" Alex just chuckled shaking her head at the thought.

Feeling a chill run over her she shivered wrapping her legs in Piper's trying to gain some more warmth and Piper obliged cuddling her closely.

"Do you want some more water?"

Alex shook her head she didn't want Piper to move her body was relaxing into the warmth making her feel sleepy and she closed her eyes basking in the softness of their bed.

"I forget to say Dan called for you this morning"

A flutter of nerves pricked at her stomach and Alex opened her eyes to quickly study Piper's expression "Oh?"

"Nothing serious he just wants you to go and see him next week for a check up I think he wants to make your appointment with the radiographer"

Alex winced slightly although she knew it was necessary the radiography was exhausting and not a particularly pleasant experience although she was pleased it wasn't chemotherapy. It was a silly thought but when she had first found out about the cancer her main worry was that she would have to submit to chemotherapy and would in turn lose all of her hair with radiography the risk was reduced. Even though it was a small price to pay, she reasoned, for survival it was still a thought that had terrified her.

"Is it bad Al?"

Piper's gentle voice, laced with concern, pulled her from her thoughts and she smiled reassuringly cupping Piper's chin in her hand "No it isn't anywhere near as b..bad as the surgery was its just tiring"

Piper cuddled into her pressing a kiss to her neck and Piper's affection washed over her warming her heart.

"I heart you kid"

Piper giggled the sound making Alex smile and she pressed her lips to Piper's forehead "Well I love you Ms Vause"

Alex could feel her eyes growing heavy and she let her head rest more firmly into the soft pillow.

"I can't believe you're still tired"

"Hey I did a lot of shopping yesterday"

Piper wrapped her hand around her own and Alex entwined their fingers together "Did you get something for my mum?"

Alex chuckled "Oh yes whether she appreciates it is another thing"

"And did you get something for me?"

Alex smirked at the nonchalant tone Piper had always been a big kid when it came to presents and she knew deep down Piper would be anxious to know what she had been bought.

"Yeah I picked something up"

"Can I have a clue?"

Alex chuckled hoarsely and shook her head. Yesterday Bill had been shocked when Alex had told him what she intended to buy for Piper but his shock had soon turned to excitement. They had headed to a small jewellers that Alex knew did unique designs and she had carefully chosen a piece of jewellery that she hoped Piper would truly appreciate. Bill had beamed with approval and pulled her in for a hug while the cashier carefully wrapped the chosen purchase he was certain Piper would fall in love the moment she saw it.

"No you will have to b..be a good girl and wait"

Alex tickled Piper's tummy giggling as her love tried to bat her hands away her body squirming "Alex!"

She stopped tickling and pulled Piper back into her embrace holding her tightly she could feel her eyelids beginning to droop and she let them slide shut concentrating on the soothing sensation of Piper drawing circles on her hand.

"You going to have another sleep?"

Alex coughed and wheezed before she nodded her eyes watering at the rawness in her throat.

"It will probably do you some good"

Piper went to sit up but Alex kept hold of her hand tightly "Will you stay just for a bit?"

Alex knew she was being selfish but she pouted up at Piper knowing her blonde haired lover would give in. She smiled as Piper rolled her eyes but settled back into her arms without a struggle and within minutes she could feel her body beginning to relax "Thanks Kid"

"You don't need to thank me you daft sod" Piper kissed her softly while rolling her eyes "Now go to sleep" Alex did not put up a fight she closed her eyes and let her body relax doing exactly as she was as told.

* * *

"Chapman you saw me yesterday am I that irresistible that you can't go 24 hours without hearing my voice"

Piper laughed out loud clamping her hand over her mouth so as not to disturb Alex who was still fast asleep in the bedroom.

"You're right I just couldn't go another moment without hearing your incredibly sexy tones"

"Ha I knew it"

Piper smiled wildly as she curled up into her armchair trying to will her nerves away there was a reason for her phone call she just didn't quite know how to ask the question she wanted to ask.

"How's my favourite lesbian this evening?"

"I'm fine thanks"

Nicky chuckled "Finally accepting the lesbian title are you Chapman? I thought you fell somewhere on the spectrum?"

"Ok your favourite lesbian is still in bed trying to sleep off the whiskey induced hangover from last night"

"Has she woken at all?"

"Briefly at dinner time but she's practically unconscious now snoring away with her mouth open I'm just keeping quiet out of the way"

"God she's hilarious drunk I really need to see that more often! I'm sure we can arrange a drinking session in the spirit of the Christmas festivities"

Piper took a deep breath this was her opening and she needed to seize it with both hands.

"Actually Nic that's why I'm calling"

"Oh I'm intrigued go on"

Piper went silent for a second almost laughing when Nicky huffed impatiently down the phone.

"Spit it out Chapman I'm in the middle of something here"

The flirty cocky tone was not missed and Piper groaned mortified "Please tell me I'm not interrupting you having sex"

Nicky laughed heartily and Piper let out an embarrassed groan "No, no you're not" Piper let out a relived sigh "You would have been if you had called 10 minutes earlier. My mouth would have been too preoccupied to answer the phone if you catch my drift"

Piper laughed although her cheeks blushed with embarrassment Nicky always managed to make her simultaneously laugh and cringe.

"Anyway we're getting off track why is it you called?"

"Have you made any plans for Christmas Day yet?"

Nicky went quiet and Piper knew this was a sensitive topic Nicky's relationship with her mother was more tenacious than the one she had with her own. Piper listened as Nicky sighed heavily "Nope no plans my mother's having her Christmas in Europe so I'm a free agent. Least having Christmas with me, myself and I means no arguments so hey it's all positive"

Piper could hear the anger in Nicky's voice although she was trying to hide it well.

"Well I was hoping that was the case"

"Nice Chapman thanks for that"

"Oh shut up. I was hoping you were free because I wanted to invite you to spend Christmas Day with me and Alex"

When Nicky didn't respond Piper began to worry and she held the phone away from her ear checking the call was still connected "Nic?"

"I wouldn't want to impose Chapman"

"You wouldn't be honestly. I just think it would be nice for the three of us to have lunch together and give presents you can come at dinner time and then we can eat drink and be merry"

Piper knew she was rambling but she really wanted Nicky to say yes.

"It'll be great you can help me keep Alex happy she's a miserable bugger over Christmas I always call her Scrooge. I'm sure she'll be happier if she has you as a drinking buddy that way she can get nice and drunk while I get to watch all the Christmas films without her moaning she's bored! Come on Nic it'll be fun, please?"

"Well I suppose I could drop by"

Piper fist pumped the air and had to hold back the excited scream that was threatening to burst from her body.

"But Chapman?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure you have plenty of fucking whiskey I wanna get Vause trashed!"

* * *

The next time Alex awoke it was dark, the room pitch black and she was surprised that she had managed to sleep again for so long. Her chest felt considerably tighter and she wheezed miserably wincing as the action caused it to feel as though her lungs were on fire. Her headache had returned in full force even moving her eyes from side to side caused her head to throb and her stomach to churn. She had not woken with a headache this intense since before her surgery and she wanted to groan aloud at the pressure that was building behind her eyes. Alex willed her nausea to die down so that she could get up for some of her stronger painkillers hoping that they would at least provide some relief. Her stomach clenched and her chest rattled as she tried to take in deep relaxing breaths but it did nothing to lessen the pain or sickness.

Beginning to cough Alex shuddered her chest heavy she struggled to pull in enough air and it felt like she was choking. Struggling to sit upright she groaned as she dry heaved from the nausea and the combined sensation of coughing and heaving frightened her. Her muscles seized and ached as the coughing intensified, she could feel herself beginning to panic and clenched her eyes shut against the feeling of fear willing herself to calm down.

Warm hands settled on her shoulders rubbing at the tense muscles and she struggled to focus her concentrating as Piper's calm soothing voice began to register.

"Breathe Alex deep breaths in and out come on follow me, in and out"

Alex concentrated hard on Piper matching her breaths with her own and slowly the coughing slowed and her chest eased slightly although her breath still rattled as she breathed in and out.

"We need to go to the hospital"

"I don't want to go"

Her voice was hoarse and now she had opened her eyes she could clearly see the fear across Piper's face, could feel her hands shaking as they gripped her shoulders.

"Please Alex it's not right, something's not right"

Alex didn't answer she didn't want to admit that Piper was right but she felt scared she did not want to be stuck in a hospital bed again she just wanted to stay here, at home, with Piper.

"I'm so fed up with it all Pipes... how is this fair... They let me home I'm meant to b..be getting b..better... instead I'm stuck with a ... shitty fucking cold"

"This isn't just a cold Al"

Piper stood up and turned on the bedside lamp casing Alex to wince at the brightness as it jarred her aching head. Piper cupped her face in her hands running a soothing finger up and down her cheek.

"We can go get it checked out and then you can come home"

Still wheezing Alex nodded reluctantly she could see Piper's point and she also knew Piper was scared it was understandable after everything she had witnessed these last few weeks. Now that she was more aware of her surroundings Alex could feel her body shivering and she realised the sheets she was sitting on were damp with sweat.

"Your face is burning up yet I can feel your body shaking are you cold?"

Alex nodded and Piper's forehead creased with worry. Alex knew she was trying to hide the panic but Alex could practically feel the nerves radiating through Piper's warm shaking hands.

"We're going to get dressed and then I'll ring the hospital tell them we're on our way ok?"

Alex nodded sluggishly her head feeling like a dead weight. 15 minutes later she was dressed and sat propped up against the headboard while Piper was rushing around her flat throwing things in an overnight bag. It was taking all her concentration just to be able to get her breath just the simple act of getting changed had taken its toll and her chest had constricted feeling painfully tight. Right now she had never felt so grateful for Piper's fussing her fear was beginning to get the better of her abs she wanted Piper sat here holding her hand telling her it would all be fine.

"Pipes?..."

Shouting for Piper caused her voice to break and her chest to heave and she closed her eyes against the sensation.

"I'm coming Al, 2 seconds"

Alex fought hard to control her heaving body and when Piper emerged she was tucking her phone back into her jeans pocket.

"You...spoke..to..hospital?"

Piper shook her head looking wary and Alex felt her hackles rise "What..Piper?"

"Don't lose your temper please? You need to stay calm your struggling to breathe normally as it is"

Piper's words did nothing to appease her and she glared in a silent warning.

"Nicky's coming to take us"

Alex practically growled but before she could speak Piper continued to ramble.

"I didn't know what else to do I don't want to be driving Al while your like this I'd be worried and unsafe and it's half past 12 at night and..."

Alex couldn't concentrate on Pipers continued words her chest tightened considerably her airway feeling as those it was closing and she wheezed as Piper continued to pace in front of her.

"Pipes..."

"No I know what you're going to say but I really think..."

White noise rang in Alex's ears she began to cough and splutter her chest feeling like it was being pressed down upon with a heavy weight and she gasped trying to draw her breath.

"Kid..."

Alex watched through blurring vision as Piper's eyes widened, her attention gained and she hurried over her hands coming to rest on her shaking shoulders.

"Jesus Alex, breathe come on baby breathe"

Alex tried she really did but it was futile she just couldn't draw the breath she desperately needed. She began to panic and as her body struggled her eyes tunnel visioned she just couldn't concentrate on Piper's beautiful face even as the tears built in Piper's panic stricken eyes and she felt the darkness take over.

"Alex stay with me!"

"Alex!"

"ALEX!"

 **A.N I am now going to run and hide while praying you all forgive me...**


	20. Chapter 20

**18 reviews for my last chapter... WOW! Thank you! I was also amazed that no one had expressed a desire to cause me bodily harm after the way I left you hanging at the end so I've come out of hiding.**

 **I hope this chapter lives up to your usual expectations I have had family visiting this weekend and have sacrificed some sleeping for writing so I hope my story telling hasn't suffered too much with my sleep deprived brain. I warn you though before you read you may need a tissue ...**

 **I look forward to hearing your thoughts and I once again thank you for the continued support.**

"Miss Chapman?"

"Piper?"

Piper opened her eyes blearily she couldn't remember where she was or how she had got here and she struggled to gain her bearings. Her whole body ached and she felt nauseous from the little amount of sleep she had managed to get.

"Piper?"

Her vision began to clear although for a moment she was disorientated, the bright lights above her head causing her to wince and shut her eyes again. Shaking her head she opened her eyes for a third time and this time her brain had awoken enough to recognise her surroundings, the realisation sending pure fear straight through her body before it settled deep into her chest.

"Alex!"

She struggled upright her body trembling and swaying and two strong hands steadied her shaking body their grip on her shoulders firm and reassuring.

"Easy Piper, easy"

That voice was the familiar sound of reassurance and when Piper looked up she was met with the kind face of Nurse Stevens looking straight at her. The nurse looked stressed and tired which did nothing to ease her worry and she forced her tired brain to engage.

"Alex?"

Nurse Stevens pushed her so that she was sitting back down into the hard plastic chair she had fallen asleep in and the nurse sat down next to her all the while keeping a one handed hold of her shoulder.

"We've had to take Alex to the ICU to be monitored closely she has bacterial pneumonia and we've had to ventilate her to allow her body to gain enough oxygen to function. We've also placed her into a medically induced coma to give her body the best chance at fighting the infection"

The words swam around Piper's brain over and over. Each time they became larger, more frightening, echoing louder making her blood run cold in her veins the feeling as though she was turning to ice creeping over her.

"But Alex said it was just a cold"

Piper hated how insecure and childlike she sounded in that moment especially when Nurse Stevens looked at her with such pity in her eyes.

"It probably felt like it Piper but because Alex's body has already been weakened with recovering from the brain surgery and all the rehabilitation the virus has managed to grow quickly without much resistance from Alex's immune system"

Piper nodded mutely her brain still struggling to take in the information she was being given.

"The reason Alex cannot breathe is because her lungs have filled with fluid meaning they cannot absorb oxygen from the air well enough to sustain her body. At the moment we are pumping her full of steroids in the hope they will give Alex's body the tools to fight the infection so that it doesn't cause anymore damage or spread elsewhere"

Piper just stared at Nurse Stevens for a moment before her brain kicked up a notch and she stared at her in horror "This is really serious isn't it?"

"It is. We are doing everything we can to help Alex fight this but her body has been weakened from its recent trauma and it is a severe case of infection she is having to try and fight. Right now we need to control the bacteria to stop it from spreading through her body. If the bacteria spreads it can lead to the body going into shock and it is this we need to prevent"

Nurse Stevens looked genuinely devastated as she spoke and Piper could feel the panic building up inside her. It was so intense she felt as if the walls were closing in on her and she closed her eyes tightly shaking her head from side to side, her breaths coming in short sharp gasps.

"Piper it's ok, open your eyes and come with me"

The nurse spoke calmly and clearly as she pulled Piper's shaking body forcefully from her seat and half carried her panicking body down the deserted corridor heading quickly to the nearest door. As soon as she was pushed through the door and Piper took in her first breath of crisp cold December morning air she emptied the contents of her stomach into the nearest bush her body heaving with the effort.

Nurse Stevens rubbed her back soothingly and Piper fought her panic taking deep breaths of cold air and she slowly began to feel better the sensation of being walled in disappearing slowly. Standing up straight Piper stepped out of the nurse's comforting hold feeling embarrassed at her mini breakdown and she averted her eyes to gaze over the hospital carpark.

"I'm sorry that was unnecessary I apologise"

"You don't need to say sorry Piper I know how you must feel. I can imagine you thought you were over the worst and now this has happened I understand it must be a lot to take in"

"It's not fair how can this be happening? We've been through the worst she survived fucking life threatening brain surgery now what you're telling me is a common cold is a threat to her life?! I just don't think I can believe it"

Piper wanted to cry but she couldn't her body felt numb to everything around her and she turned back to face Alex's nurse her voice steady although inside she was terrified.

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is it?"

"I'm not answering that Piper"

Piper reached for the nurses hand clutching at it tightly in her own "Please I need to know, I need to know if you think she's going to be ok?"

"Piper the next 12 hours are crucial then after that I'll be able to fully assess Alex again and provide you with a further update. All I can say right this minute is I think you need to call your dad and tell him what's happening. Then you need to come with me and sit with Alex, hold her hand and encourage her to fight this because Alex needs you Piper and I think I know just how much you need her"

Piper started to rock on her heels shaking her head from side to side the overwhelming urge to just run threatening to consume her as the crushing realisation was becoming too much to handle.

"I can't tell my dad, I can't"

The tears, that only moments ago she could not find, suddenly built and she choked on a loud sob as she spoke "It means it's real and I don't want it to be"

"This is very real Piper you have done so well so far but I think you need someone to be here for you ok?"

Piper sniffed loudly and scoffed at the nurse's gentle words "I haven't done anything"

"You kept Alex's oxygen levels up when she fell unconscious, the paramedics told me you where breathing for her just as they instructed. You will have saved Alex from being starved of oxygen which in turn will have helped prevent any long term injuries to her brain. So far you have done really well not to completely give in to fear but I'm worried it will begin to take its toll and I can't look after both of you"

Piper took a deep breath and tried to force herself to appear calm even as her hands trembled with nerves "I'm fine"

The nurse just shook her head knowingly "Call your dad then I'll take you up to the ICU I need to get back to Alex and I know you do too"

* * *

"Bill? I came as soon as I saw your message I'm sorry it's taken so long I've been dropping my mother at the airport"

Bill tore his gaze from the window and turned to Piper's bushy haired friend. Nicky looked how Bill felt her face was ashen, creased with worry, her hair dishevelled and her top was on inside out. Bill found himself trying to smile in thanks that she had obviously hurried here.

"Piper called me last night to bring them both here but then she text just saying she had made other arrangements I never even thought that she had ended up having to call an ambulance. When I didn't hear anything more I just presumed they had come home again no problems"

Nicky came to stand next to him and when she turned to look through the window Bill winced at the pained gasp that fell from her mouth a whispered "Fuckin' hell" falling from her lips.

"Thanks for coming Nicky"

"You don't have to thank me... Fuck look at the state of her Bill she looks like a fuckin' corpse"

Bill wanted to reply with 'which one' but he held his tongue. Next to Alex's pale lifeless body Piper was sat upright her back ramrod straight, her body painfully still like a statue. Her glassy eyes stared forward at Alex's face unblinking, the only sign of life the tears that had continued to fall unchecked down her cheeks streaking her face falling on the clasped hands in her lap.

"Have you had any further update?"

Bill tried to speak past the lump in his throat but he couldn't instead he just nodded and he was grateful Nicky didn't push him to speak. Eventually his throat loosened and he spoke keeping his eyes firmly forward.

"They can't get her temperature down they've administered the second lot of antibiotics and now it's just a waiting game to see if she responds. It isn't looking good Nicky"

Nicky nodded hesitantly and Bill could tell she had further questions but he didn't want to talk anymore and he was glad when Nicky remained quiet seemingly understanding his struggle. He watched sympathetically as she paced round like a caged animal and he knew she too was struggling with the enormity of the situation.

"Would you like a coffee?"

Bill nodded to Nicky giving her the reprieve she obviously needed and he turned curiously when she hesitated at his side.

"Do you want to ask Piper?"

Bill shook his head "I haven't been in there yet... I'm not sure I can"

Bill felt a comforting squeeze on his arm and Nicky moved opening the door to the private room and Bill watched closely as Nicky made her way to Piper's side. She placed her arm gently onto Piper's shoulder so as not to startle her and Bill watched as Piper didn't even flinch. In the end Nicky pulled Piper into a one armed hug gave Alex's hand a squeeze and made her way back out into the corridor.

"I'll be back in a moment"

Nicky's voice was rough and Bill knew she was struggling to contain her own emotion and he gave her a slight smile and a nod. Bill sat down heavily on the chair under the window and let his head fall into his hands he felt awful guilt building inside him. Alex had been unwell with what they thought was a cold and he had dragged her around New York getting her half cut on whiskey. They had had a real laugh Alex looking thrilled to be out in the big city but now Bill knew it wouldn't have helped her body with the infection he now knew it had been quietly struggling to fight. The guilt was what was keeping him outside of the room if he felt guilty then Piper would be feeling anger especially with how nervous she had been to let Alex out and yet he had insisted citing the famous phrase 'She'll be fine'.

Being here now he felt no better his stomach and body twisted with nerves. His mobile phone rang loudly in his pocket and he fished it out quickly, immediately rejecting the call when he saw the name flashing up on the screen. Carol had tried calling three times but Bill knew it would not be out of worry or fear no it would be to yell and rage at him again for 'Running off in the early hours once again at the beck and call of his precious darling and the lesbian drug smuggler'. Bill didn't know how much longer he could stay trapped in his loveless marriage but for now he was gritting his teeth and trying to bear it especially while Alex was going through her illness. He didn't want to place any further stress on Piper not at the moment.

So distracted by his thoughts he hadn't noticed that Nurse Stevens had entered Alex's room but when the door closed this time it made him jump and he brought his head up quickly from his hands standing upright.

"Any progress?"

The professional in front of him looked exhausted and Bill knew she too was feeling this personally. Nurse Stevens looked back into the room and made sure the door was firmly closed before she spoke.

"The bacteria count has increased in Alex's blood and her blood pressure has dropped sharply. One of the senior doctors is on his way to do a full diagnosis and decide on a plan going forward"

Bill just nodded feeling sickness build in his stomach and make its way into his throat.

"It is my professional opinion that Alex is going into septic shock but I need the doctor to confirm my theory"

Bill felt his knees weaken and he let himself fall into the chair behind him.

"I have informed Piper of what's happening and that when the doctor comes she's going to have to wait out here but I'm not sure quite sure how much she's taking in information wise I think she's in a mild state of shock"

"I don't know what she'll do if anything happens to Alex"

Bills voice wavered with fear and the nurse squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. The door at the end of the corridor opened and Nurse Stevens moved from Bill's side.

"This is Doctor Jenkins now. I'll go and get Piper tell her you're here and she needs to sit with you while Alex is assessed"

* * *

"Dad?"

Piper's voice was practically a whisper and Bill tried to smile reassuringly as he looked at his daughter. Piper looked so lost and bewildered standing in the corridor with Alex's jacket loosely around her shoulders that Bill couldn't contain his overwhelming urge to protect and he wrapped Piper up tightly in his arms his chin coming to rest on the top of her head.

"Oh darling"

Piper had begun to sob her body shaking with the effort Bill felt at a loss he couldn't make it all better no matter how much he wished to.

"I need her to be ok Daddy"

"I know sweetheart, I know"

Bill rocked Piper back and forth keeping his gaze fixed through the window so that he could still see Alex now that she was on her own with just the professionals.

"I promise I'll never ask for anything again... I mean it all I want is Alex ... I don't need anything else"

Bill couldn't answer, he didn't know what to say, instead he just ran a comforting hand up and down Piper's back as she rambled into his ear trying anything to bring some sort of comfort to his distraught child.

"She's a fighter darling if anyone is going to beat this its Alex"

Piper shook her head back and forth repeatedly "I don't know how much more she can take Dad this whole bloody ordeal has taken so much out of her"

Bill swallowed the lump in his throat forcing his own tears away he needed to be strong for Piper.

"It was just a cold ... Alex promised me it was just a cold. I wouldn't have let her stay at home, I would have brought her straight here but I didn't know, I swear I didn't know"

Bill could understand Pipers shock and disbelief he too couldn't quite believe how quickly the infection had spread "I know darling, I know"

Bill stood and rocked Piper from side to side feeling her weight become dead in his arms he carried on watching the doctor keenly through the window. Twenty minutes later and a cough interrupted them and they both turned expectantly to the doctor who had appeared at their side.

"Piper is it?"

Piper scrubbed at her eyes with her fists and she turned to the doctor worry painted across her features.

"Yes that's me Alex's fiancee"

Bill reached out his hand to the doctor "Bill Chapman Piper's father"

The handshake was returned and the doctor gestured that they follow him back into the room. Once they were all situated by Alex's bedside the doctor turned to them his face serious.

"I can confirm that Nurse Stevens concerns were founded Alex is experiencing septic shock the bacteria is ravaging her system. We've administered the next lot of antibiotics and I have set up a new saline drip to increase the fluid in her veins to try and reduce the pressure on her heart by increasing her blood pressure. This is our main concern at the moment if her blood pressure does not rise Alex is at risk of suffering from a cardiac arrest due to the heart muscle being under increased strain"

Bill nodded numbly trying to take in all the information being given and he glanced at Piper who looked completely bewildered.

"If the saline isn't successful I will sign off the use of a vasopressor in Alex's case this will be adrenaline to narrow the blood vessels, again in the hope of increasing her blood pressure"

Bill noted that Piper had still not moved a muscle, her expression one of pure fear, and he pushed her gently back into the chair by the bed fearing that she would crumble to the floor.

"I'm guessing it's just a waiting game then"

The doctor nodded sympathetically in Bill's direction "It is I'm afraid the next 3 hours are extremely critical the drugs need to begin working as soon as possible the longer it takes the less likely Alex is to survive"

Bill watched as Piper visibly crumpled and he placed his arm tightly around her shoulder keeping her body upright.

"Thank you for your help" Bill's voice shook and the doctor nodded sympathetically then left the room swiftly.

Bill knelt down on the floor so that he could look into Pipers eyes clutching her hands tightly into his he schooled his features into one of determination.

"Don't, take that expression of your face, don't you dare give up on her"

Piper shook her head tears spilling down her cheeks "You heard what he said Dad"

"Yes I did but she's not dead yet so don't you go writing her off. I know you're scared but you need to remind her that you are still here and she needs to fight for you"

Bill let go of Pipers hand and took Alex's into his strong grip "So you hear that Vause get your arse in gear and fight because me and Piper are sat here waiting for you and these hospital chairs are bloody uncomfortable!"

Bill watched as Piper let out a small chuckle before a look of determination settled across her face.

"I love you Al I need you to keep fighting for me ok? I'm booking us on a holiday for next year so you have no choice but to get better otherwise I'll be stuck going with Nichols!"

Bill laughed and then he noticed Nicky looking through the window two coffees in her hand.

"Right you stay here and I'll be back in a little while"

Bill pressed a kiss to Piper's forehead as Piper put her head down onto the bed her hand tightly wrapping around Alex's and Bill knew that exhaustion was beginning to take hold. He turned to look at them both once again and he hoped and prayed that Piper would rest through the next few hours and that Alex would start to beat the bacteria that was determinedly trying wreak havoc.

* * *

"B-beep... Beep... Beeep.. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."

Piper's eyes flew open as her dream addled brain registered that she must have fallen asleep and what had awoken her was the sound of a loud droning machine and terror gripped her very soul.

Piper's body jerked upright as she realised the noise was the machine monitoring Alex's heart beat, panicking she slammed her shaking palm into the alarm button and shrieked at the top of her voice desperation taking hold.

"No..! No...Alex please don't do this!"

The machine seemed to become louder the noise echoing in the small room and Piper felt the room spin as her worst fear became a reality. Clutching Alex's hand in her own desperate for the contact her eyes settled on the nearest machine. Piper's stomach lurched as the flat line image burnt into her brain and she shook her head trying to rid the image from her eyes.

Even as Nurse Stevens burst into the room the doctor hot on her heels Piper shook Alex's hand hard and fisted the bedcovers in her tight grip. Her eyes searched Alex's face she merely looked like she was still sleeping and Piper wanted her to open her eyes and laugh, tell her this was all some sort of twisted joke. The doctor tried to move her but it was like her feet were rooted to the ground her body not willing to move from the bedside.

"Don't leave me Alex please ... I love you, I love you so fucking much"

"Nurse take her out of here now!"

The doctors voice commanded authority but Piper couldn't listen, couldn't stop the instinct to fight to stay with Alex.

"No please I need her... I need her to know I'm here! ... No!"

Piper could feel the nurse's grip on her arms become tighter and the room became a blur as she was hauled bodily from Alex's bedside. In the corridor Bill was shouting at the nurse trying to push his way through the door to grab hold of Piper's fighting body as Nicky stood completely shell shocked behind him.

Wrapped tightly in her father's arms Piper pressed herself against the glass window her heart stopped and her blood ran cold as the doctor lowered the bed so that Alex was lying flat. He checked over her then quickly brought his hands down to Alex's chest while Nurse Stevens stood on the right injecting a clear liquid into Alex's right arm.

"Adrenaline administered commence CPR"

Their voices were shrill and Piper's brain struggled in its panicked state and she frantically tried to keep up with what they were saying.

"Still no pulse"

"Ok beginning compression's. One ... Two ... Three"

The doctor paused in his compression's and glanced towards the heart monitor he shook his head and then placed his hands back on Alex's chest.

"Keep that oxygen coming... One ... Two ... Three"

There was no change the machine still showing that dreaded horizontal line and Piper watched as Doctor Jenkins grabbed the defibrillator from the crash cart that had been wheeled into the room.

"No response... defibrillator engaged... shocking 360... charging... clear."

Alex's chest lurched upwards and Piper strained forwards still hearing nothing but the flat line ring in her ears. Her hands began clawing at the glass of their own accord in a desperate attempt to get closer to the one person she loved the most in the world. Watching the doctor begin to charge the machine again Piper felt the hope begin to ooze away from her. Alex was going to die Piper's true love, her fiancee, her everything was going to die.

"No, no, no it was a cold this can't be fuckin' happening, not Vause, not now"

Nicky's disbelieving mumbling was echoing in the corridor mixing with her own distraught whimpering and Piper could feel her dads arms around her shaking with his own fear. The minutes where ticking by and Piper could already feel a void beginning to build deep within her her chest, her heart beginning to break.

"Stand back... Once more please. Shocking 360.. charging.. clear"

The sickening jolt occurred once more and again Alex's chest lurched upwards before crashing back down onto the bed the noise continuing to ring mockingly in the room and out into the corridor. Piper's vision became blurry and her legs shook as the Doctor shook his head slightly to Nurse Stevens, who looked equally devastated, and he slowly placed the defibrillator back onto the trolley.

"I'm so sorry Nurse. Time of death..."

"No" the words fell from her lips as desperation burnt within her veins and before Bill could even begin to try and stop her Piper fought free from his shaking hold and pushed her way back into the room coming to a stop at the foot of Alex's bed.

"Piper"

Nurse Stevens voice was soft as she came towards her tears brimming in her own eyes but Piper shook her head and gestured to Alex firmly as her desperation turned to anger. Piper pushed past the doctor so she was standing with her fist clenched her face inches from Alex's own pale and unmoving.

"Do you hear me Alex? You need to stop being fucking bone idle and fight back. I need you don't you dare leave me on my own!"

"Miss Chapman I'm truly sorry but I don't thin-"

Piper spun around to face the stoic doctor the anger clear on her face and he faltered in his flimsy attempt to placate her. Turning her attention back to Alex Piper placed her lips to Alex's ear and spoke her voice shook with emotion but the words were clear.

"If this is it Al I will walk out of this hospital and into the path of the next moving car and I'll join you wherever it is you are going because I refuse to live without you. So stop being a selfish arse and fight for me, don't you fucking leave me again because this time I'm not having it!"

"Once more Doctor?"

The Doctor sighed deeply and turned to Nurse Stevens irritation across his features, his tone severe.

"Ok once more. Shocking 360... charging... clear!"

Alex's chest lurched upwards in front of her as if in slow motion and Piper's whole body tingled with nerves and anticipation as her eyes clenched shut of their own accord. Piper felt as though an age had passed until suddenly her ears registered the sound of the constant drone cease and the rhythmic bleeping filled the room once more. Piper's eyes whipped open desperate for clarification of what her ears where frantically trying to tell her over wrought brain.

"Bleep ... bleep ... bleep ... bleep"

Tears of relief streamed down Pipers face and she turned to look through the window to her dad who was standing with an almost comical look of shock across his face his arms still raised outwards where she had fought from his hold. The Doctor let out a bark of laughter and shook his head in disbelief.

"Looks like someone pulled their act together the shouting seemed to work Piper"

Piper felt her whole body slump with exhaustion, her legs shaking violently threatening to crumble and Nurse Stevens quickly ushered her into the chair an action that she gratefully accepted.

"Blood pressure has risen slightly which is positive. Keep an eye on it nurse and let me know if there is any change"

The doctor nodded to each of them in turn and left swiftly adjusting his jacket and Piper could hardly comprehend how unfazed he seemed when everyone else was so strung out. It angered her even though she knew it shouldn't, fundamentally she knew he must see this everyday.

"Are you ok Piper?"

Piper nodded to the nurse the situation temporarily overwhelming her and she let out a shaky half laugh half sob before resting her head onto Alex's forearm her fingers automatically seeking out Alex's.

"I will be, are you?"

The nurse dried the tears from her face and averted her eyes "Yes thank you Piper I feel I should apologise that was very unprofessional of me"

"You're only human"

Piper felt physically drained but she did not dare close her eyes.

"It's technically time for me to go home but I'm going to stay for another couple of hours if that's ok with you Piper?"

Piper nodded immensely grateful she trusted Nurse Stevens more than anybody else in this hospital she knew it was selfish but she didn't want her to leave.

"Is it likely to happen again?" Piper's voice wavered and she kept her gaze averted keeping her eyes firmly on Alex's pale face.

"Her blood pressure has increased which is very positive Piper. I don't think Alex likes being shouted at"

Piper smiled weakly and then the room went quiet her brain and body feeling completely overwrought. Once Nurse Stevens had finished checking all of Alex's vitals Piper sensed her gaze and she turned to her curiously.

"Did you mean what you said"

Piper's face set in determination understanding exactly what Nurse Stevens was questioning and she squeezed Alex's hand tightly conviction thrumming through her veins.

"I am never letting Alex leave me behind again so yes I meant every single word"

 **A.N I almost, almost did the unforgivable there ... Angst is my favourite genre, I thrive on it, however even I admit this chapter is pretty heavy going so I hope you have all come through alright maybe just with a soggy tissue or two :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N Your reviews for the last chapter were nothing short of amazing it was fabulous to hear your responses especially as you seemed to enjoy it without hating me too much! I don't think I have ever been that nervous about posting a chapter before and I'm not going to lie in my first draft of roughly written notes I did do the unthinkable and Alex Vause was no more.**

 **But as there seems to be a lot of love for this story and my version of this beloved couple (something I still can't quite comprehend) I thought what better way to thank you for your support than to continue spinning this tale :)**

 **(Also being completely honest I think I would have regretted beginning the end of this story in that last chapter, I too am incredibly fond of this couple and I don't think I'm ready to let either of them go just yet!)**

 **So onwards we go...**

Alex could vaguely make out whispered voices and she strained her ears trying to make out what was being said around her. She heard her name being uttered a couple of times but her brain wouldn't cooperate too bogged down in tiredness and she tried to force the sleep from her mind that was intent on lingering. She felt like she had been hit by a large fast moving object her whole body ached and her head felt muzzy and she wondered whether she was hungover. Alex tried to remember what she had last been doing before she ended up in this weird sleep like state but her mind only drew a blank and she couldn't fathom where she was or how she had got here. Trying to open her eyes she fidgeted and groaned as her eyelids pointedly refused to cooperate and she remained staring into darkness.

Giving up after the third time of trying to open her eyes Alex just lay there and forced herself to relax, letting her body slowly wake in its own time and she tried to sense whether Piper was nearby. She couldn't hear her voice or smell her unique scent in fact all she could smell was disinfectant. Alex became disheartened realising Piper wasn't with her and she began to wonder where her love could be until the smell of bleach began to grate on her nerves. Inwardly she grumbled the smell reminded her of the hospital and she shuddered inside at the thought of those weeks she had spent recuperating after her surgery. The voices had long disappeared and Alex realised all she could now hear was a rhythmic bleeping sound which she was pretty certain wasn't her alarm clock. The constant noise irked her it was distracting and she wished someone would turn it off while she seemed incapable of doing so.

Becoming bored of waiting patiently in darkness Alex tried again to open her eyes and this time she was successful. Inwardly she cheered as a dark room slowly came into focus although it was blurred without her trademark glasses. Their was no light in the room and she reasoned that it must be the early hours of the morning judging by the shadows she could just make out on the walls. She tried to locate her glasses and as she looked around Alex realised she wasn't in her bedroom, heck she wasn't even in Piper's apartment. Slowly she began to take in more of the setting around her and as she did she realised she was back in the ICU at the hospital. This made her brain jump in alarm and she began mentally checking her body for signs of injury as she struggled to recall how she had come to be back in this room. All she seemed to remember was being at home languishing in bed with a hangover, Piper cuddling her while she slept so she could rest off the shitty cold she had been battling. Remembering the cold seemed to be the key to unlocking her brain bringing a barrage of images to Alex's mind and suddenly she remembered it all. The coughing fit, Piper's worry and horror, then the struggle to breath, gasping and chocking, and finally blacking out.

Alex released a shaky groan when she realised what must have happened and she looked around the room trying to locate Piper knowing that she wouldn't be far. Her eyes fell on a figure in the corner of the room and she smiled as her fiancée came into clearer view. Piper was fast asleep on a small looking camp bed, her limbs pulled up uncomfortably, Alex's jacket wrapped around her shoulders a blanket pulled up over her legs. She looked tired, stressed and Alex wanted to pull her up into the bed with her and ease the worry from her sleeping lover's face. Her body ached to hold Piper and she tried stretching her limbs to see if she could move immediately releasing a frustrated huff when she realised she couldn't do anything more than move her arms rather laboredly.

"Hello Alex"

Alex jumped and she turned her head to the doorway relieved when she recognised Nurse Stevens who was leaning against the doorframe smiling kindly.

"Shhh Piper's sleeping"

Her whispered voice was muffled and Alex frowned as she brought a heavy hand up to her mouth feeling curiously at the oxygen mask that was fixed to her face.

"Don't you worry I'll be quiet. It's so good to see you awake, how are you feeling?"

"Ok I think"

Alex smiled as Nurse Stevens made her way over and began a series of checks which were not to dissimilar to the ones Alex had suffered through many times after her brain surgery although this time they were slightly varied. Nurse Stevens reached out to the counter and gestured to Alex's glasses while filling a glass of water.

"Would you like a drink?"

Alex nodded eagerly and took a long drink from the proffered straw that was slipped under her oxygen mask. She sighed with relief when her glasses were securely placed onto her face and she thanked the nurse as she blinked the room coming into clearer view. When the glass had been drained and placed back on the side Alex couldn't contain her curiosity any longer.

"Can you tell me what happened? I remember blacking out at home and then nothing. How have I ended up in the ICU?"

Nurse Stevens stopped what she was doing her face becoming serious and Alex felt a twinge of worry spike in her stomach.

"You were suffering from bacterial pneumonia"

Alex's eyebrows shot up and her mouth hung open she thought she had been suffering with a common cold, at the very worst a mild chest infection, it had at no point felt like she was suffering with something as severe as pneumonia. Trying to stop her rampant thoughts she focused back to the nurse who seemed to be waiting patiently for the news to sink in and she inclined her head in a silent request to continue.

"It had ravaged your body, putting particular strain on your lungs, we ventilated you and put you into a medically induced coma while we tried to isolate the infection"

Alex could barely believe what she was being told but she sensed there was more from the look on the nurses face. She was right.

"You succumbed to toxic shock and we gave you 24 hours"

Alex wanted to laugh, she could actually feel a smirk pulling at her lips, it couldn't be, there was no way that she came that close to death and she shook her head in disbelief.

"No, no fucking way" she scoffed as she said the words surely this was all being exaggerated.

"You suffered a cardiac arrest and we had to resuscitate you"

Alex felt her blood run cold, her limbs beginning to tingle with unease. She searched the nurse's face for any sign of untruth and when she found none the truth hit her like a sledgehammer. Fuck was the only thing she could think as her brain tried to make sense of what she had been told. It had been a cough nothing more if she had felt really bad she would have surely known, would have gotten help.

A small part of her twinged with guilt the day of her hangover she had felt truly terrible and she had suspected it could have been something more, and Piper had been so worried, but she hadn't wanted to fuss. Her gaze automatically drifted to Piper and her stomach dropped if what Nurse Stevens was saying was true she felt sick at the thought of what Piper had endured. Had she been here all this time? Had she seen Alex crash, watched as they had to resuscitate her? Alex had seen enough of Piper's beloved medical dramas to picture the scene and she turned back to the nurse in desperation who was now looking at her sympathetically as if she had read her mind.

"No..."

"She witnessed it all if it wasn't for Piper I don't think you would still be alive. We couldn't get a pulse and you were about to be declared dead but she screamed and raged at you told her you weren't allowed to leave her and we tried once more"

Alex felt tears well in her eyes and she fought hard not to cry she could picture Piper clearly tears rolling down her face begging her not to leave her again. It was an image merged with the memory from the last time Alex upped and left and the thought that Piper had to relive that moment made her heart ache.

"You fought back and we managed to get the infection under control, now here we are 1 week later"

Alex felt overwhelmed, completely shell shocked, she didn't feel well her aching body feeling wrung out and drained but in no way did she feel as though she had come that close to death. Alex could barely believe it she had felt worse than this when she had woken from the brain surgery how could she have nearly died?

"1 week?"

The nurse nodded "Yes you've missed Christmas"

Alex shook her head in complete disbelief and then she smiled a low chuckle escaping her "Piper always calls me Scrooge maybe there's some truth in it when my body puts me into an ICU instead of sitting round a bloody Christmas tree"

Nurse Stevens joined in chuckling until they were interrupted by a low whimper from the corner. Piper's legs were pulled up to her chest, her body trembling as her fists clenched at the sheet underneath her. A tear ran down her stricken face and Alex felt her heart lurch at the sight. Struggling she pulled the oxygen mask away from her face and tried to move but her lethargic body wouldn't cooperate and the effort caused her chest to twinge in discomfort. Nurse Stevens frowned shaking her head and she reached out placing her hand onto her shoulder as Alex grimaced against the pain.

"No don't move I don't want you causing any unnecessary strain to your body especially considering you have only just awoken!"

Alex wanted to huff and rage but she knew it was futile when she took in the stern expression across Nurse Stevens face.

"Alex..."

The distraught whisper caused Nurse Stevens to slowly make her way over to the door and shut it quietly, she then walked towards Piper keeping her voice low and soothing.

"Piper, Piper shhh it's ok"

Piper's body still writhed trapped in her dream and she began to cry quietly her eyes clenched shut, her face creased in pain.

"No... no... please don't..."

Nurse Stevens crouched down low next to the camp bed and ran a careful hand down Piper's arm trying to rouse her gently from her nightmare. The gesture seemed familiar and Alex found herself curious "Has this happened before?"

Nurse Stevens nodded sadly "Every night since your cardiac arrest I have been waking her three or four times each shift. Sometimes she cries other times she has woken screaming hence why I have closed the door it wouldn't be the first time she has disturbed other patients. We have joked that you can obviously sleep through anything you never even flickered, oblivious to the ruckus around you"

Alex tried to smile at the nurse's attempted joke but she was too worried about Piper she wanted her love in her arms so that she could soothe her worries away.

"Please don't leave..."

Alex's stomach twisted at those words they brought back so many painful memories that she felt overwhelmed for a moment at the level of emotion that washed over her.

"Come on Piper wake up"

The nurse shook Piper's shoulder firmly and Alex let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding when Piper's body finally lurched upwards, her limbs flailing and Nurse Stevens moved swiftly to catch her in her arms before Piper fell to the floor.

"No, no, no... She's dead... She didn't listen ... Alex!"

Piper's voice rang out hysterically her breath coming in panicked gasps and Alex tried again to sit up to comfort her but it was futile her body too stiff, her limbs too heavy.

"No Piper shhh, shhh Alex is fine, she's fine, look at me"

Nurse Stevens took Piper's face in her hands and forced her to look at her pushing her hair back from her sweat soaked forehead.

"You were dreaming again. Alex is alive, she's still here Piper everything's fine"

Piper finally seemed to snap back to her senses her eyes becoming clearer the fear and devastation receding from her features and she blushed looking down into her hands. Alex paused in her effort to move and kept quiet wanting to watch their interaction.

"God I'm so sorry crying like a child it's embarrassing. I need to get a hold of myself I know you have been fighting to allow me to stay here after the disturbances and I'm sorry I'm causing you such grief"

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again do not apologise, you love her it's understandable that your worry is seeping into your dreams"

Piper kept her head down and Nurse Stevens turned to look at Alex a coy smile on her face which Alex hesitantly returned.

"Dry your tears and make yourself presentable you need to get your backside next to that bed"

Piper chuckled but it was bitter, devoid of humour before she stood up laboredly. Stretching her lean body as she did she walked over to the bed still looking to the nurse a sarcastic smile on her face.

"Oh and who exactly am I making myself presentable for?"

"Me, I haven't seen you in 7 days you can at least try and make an effort Pipes"

Alex watched as Piper's body froze, going completely stiff, as her cocky teasing tones rang out into the room. Piper's head whipped around, her eyes wide in shock, as they seemed to search her face frantically and Alex smiled at her reassuringly stretching her right arm out stiffly, wanting nothing more than Piper in her grasp. It felt as though minutes had passed and Piper still hadn't moved causing Alex to frown slightly.

"Am I dreaming?"

Piper looked at Nurse Stevens for reassurance and she shook her head smiling in response.

"No Piper you're not dreaming"

Nurse Stevens nodded to Alex, then Piper and she slowly left the room closing the door behind her giving them their privacy. Piper just stared at the doorway for a few moments then back to Alex before she started to cry her shoulders slumping with what Alex hoped was relief but still Piper didn't move. Alex felt her arm beginning to seize up being held in its current position and she gestured as well as she could with muscles stiff from a week of inactivity.

"Come here Kid"

Wide eyed and bewildered looking Piper inched forwards and as soon as she was within touching distance Alex took her hand firmly and pulled her on to the bed letting out a relived sigh as Piper's warm weight settled against her aching body.

"Shhh don't cry, it's alright Pipes you don't need to cry anymore"

Alex ran her hand up and down Piper's back firmly, touching her reassuringly, trying to bring some comfort to her still weeping lover.

"I can't believe it"

Piper's voice whispered into her neck hesitant and uncertain and Alex squeezed her tighter.

"Yes you can I'm here and I'm alive"

"But you left me and I didn't think you would come back"

Alex's heart broke at how traumatised Piper sounded and she lifted Piper's head upwards so she could see into tear filled blue eyes.

"But I did didn't I, I'm here and I'm not going to leave you again I promise" Alex kept their gazes locked and she caressed Piper's cheek softly "I love you Kid I'd have to be pretty bloody stupid to go anywhere without you"

Piper leant into her hand her eyes still searching Alex's face until finally the tears stopped falling and a hesitant smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Jesus I've missed you, I've missed you so much"

"Well I'm pretty certain I've missed you too"

Piper sat up and ran her hands over Alex's brow then down to her cheeks finally she took both her hands in her own rubbing her thumbs over Alex's knuckles as if to reassure herself and Alex let her eyes fall shut at the soothing sensation.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not half as bad as I think I should feel"

Piper nodded seriously and bit down on her lip worriedly.

"Hey don't look like that I'm going to be fine"

Piper tried to smile, although she still looked worried and Alex grasped at her hand squeezing tightly.

"Come on lie back down you look exhausted"

Piper chuckled weakly but she complied tucking her body against Alex's side so that they were moulded tightly together.

"You're the one in the hospital bed yet here you are fussing over me"

Alex hummed "Yeah well I'll always look after you Kid it's instinctive"

Piper giggled and placed her head in the crook of Alex's neck inhaling deeply one of her hands coming to rest on her chest and Alex knew she was seeking comfort in the steady beat of her heart.

"I still can't believe you're awake I feel like I'm dreaming, like any moment now I'll wake up and you'll still be unconscious and I'll still be anxiously waiting, hoping..."

Alex began to rub soothing circles on Piper's side trying to rub away the tension she could still feel in her muscles. Not knowing what to say and not wanting Piper to dwell on her dark thoughts Alex decided to gently steer the conversation in another direction.

"Nurse Stevens tells me I've missed Christmas"

Piper nodded against her "Yeah I'm sure you did this on purpose just so you didn't have to entertain my mother on Christmas Eve"

Alex snorted glad that Piper was joking with her the dark thoughts being pushed away for now.

"Well to be fair wine and nibbles with Carol Chapman has always been a hellish experience it's enough to give anybody a heart attack!"

Piper flinched and Alex could have kicked herself it was not usually her that suffered with foot in mouth syndrome that being a firm trait of one Piper Chapman.

"Sorry Kid you know what I mean"

Piper was quiet and Alex was just about to break the silence when Piper nudged her gently.

"I can't believe I've had to wait even longer for my present was this just a ploy? Had you not bothered to get me a gift?"

Alex sighed theatrically "You got me Pipes damn my grand plan has been unravelled"

Piper giggled tiredly and Alex turned as much as she physically could so that she could see Piper's face. Up close Alex could clearly see the strain across Piper's features there were deep black bags underlining her eyes and her face was drawn. She looked worn, exhausted and Alex felt the protective urge in her rise.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep Pipes?"

"Are you tired?"

Alex nodded slightly "I am but you also look exhausted I think you could do with putting your head down for a few hours"

Piper looked hesitant and Alex just smiled reassuringly "I'm going to be fine I'll still be here when you wake up I promise"

Alex could practically see Piper's inner conflict but eventually the tiredness won out and she nodded in agreement. Piper went to move but Alex shook her head and wrapped her arm around Piper's shoulders tightly.

"No don't move, stay" Piper went to protest but Alex shushed her softly "You will sleep better here and I feel a 100 times better with you lying next to me so stay. I think I've missed being your big spoon"

Finally Piper's body relaxed against her and Alex let out a sigh of contentment even though she had been unconscious for a week she knew deep down she had missed this feeling.

"This feels so nice"

"Nice? Just nice Kid?! I think the word you're looking for is amazing!"

Piper laughed loudly "Oh you know what I mean! Although I'm glad being unconscious for a week hasn't taken away your sense of humour"

"Never!"

They giggled together like children until they were interrupted by the door opening.

"I know you two must have missed one another but can you keep it down, just a little? I can hear you from the nurses station"

Piper nodded sheepishly and hid her face in Alex's neck covering her blushing cheeks whereas Alex just grinned not at all embarrassed.

"You need to get some sleep and Alex put that oxygen mask back on I don't want you to push yourself too hard alright?"

Alex rolled her eyes but she nodded at the nurse's words. Pressing a kiss to Piper's head she reached up with one hand and placed the oxygen mask back over her face as best she could as the door closed softly behind Nurse Stevens.

Piper raised her head then chuckled as she sat up, immediately rolling her eyes causing Alex to frown at her curiously "What?"

Smiling gently Piper untangled the oxygen mask that was caught on Alex's ear and she placed it so it was securely covering her nose and mouth.

"There, all sorted"

Alex huffed and Piper cupped at her cheek lovingly pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before she settled back into the crook of Alex's body.

"Go to sleep Al"

Alex nodded suddenly feeling a wave of tiredness wash over her and she reasoned her body was nearing its limits after her week of unconsciousness. She felt Piper cuddle into her more firmly and she tightened her grip around her love's shoulders and let her heavy eyes slide shut. This way she could almost believe they weren't at the hospital at all but instead back home in Piper's apartment in their bed.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Piper's words were whispered tiredly and as Alex felt Piper become a dead weight she too let her body completely relax and she curled into Piper as best she could and let their combined warmth ease her into an easy sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**A.N I love reading your feedback and after reading for the last chapter it's interesting to see what you would like to happen and what you have enjoyed. Thank you again for the follows, the favourites and the reviews, to the people who post a review for every chapter it is massively appreciated and I can only hope you will continue to let me have your thoughts.**

"I swear you are going to be the death of me or lets put it this way it's a bloody good job I'm already old and grey because this last week would have prematurely aged me if I wasn't!"

Bill was leaning tiredly against his hand while sitting in the chair next to her bed he had noticed she was awake the minute her eyelids had fluttered and Alex just smiled at him guiltily.

"I'm sorry Bill I know I've become a royal pain in the arse these past couple of months"

"I don't think I've ever seen this much of a hospital before and I'm approaching 70! It should be me with all the ailments and maladies not you you're still practically a spring chicken!"

Alex chuckled and stretched her left arm as best she could her right was still wrapped around Piper's shoulders holding her tightly as she slept on tucked into her side. Alex reached up and lifted the oxygen mask from her face pleased that her aching left arm had been up to the task without shaking too badly she had been worried that being inactive for a week might have hampered the progress she had made with her arm but so far it seemed not to be the case.

"I can't believe she's still asleep" Alex gestured with her head to Piper who was snoring gently at the side of her and Bill too looked at his daughter his face creased as he smiled sadly.

"I don't think she's had much sleep this past week if I'm honest Alex each time I've visited she's been sat glassy eyed in this chair her eyes staring forward unblinking. I haven't had much conversation out of her but I don't think her poor body could cope with the stimulation on top of such little sleep"

Alex ran a thumb over Piper's cheek lovingly her heart melting a little as Piper smiled in her sleep and cuddled closer into her body, nestling under her arm.

"Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to have her"

"Yeah well I feel the same way about her having you. I honestly couldn't have picked a better partner for her Alex"

"Even after all this?"

Bill just scoffed "This is life it's shitty at times but at least she found the love of her life. I never believed in soul mates I always thought it was complete bollocks made up by the lovey dovey types but you and Piper just fit and I truly believe your meant to be together"

Alex blushed at Bill's words "Fuck Bill nice speech"

Bill chuckled "I'm just practising for your wedding"

"Oh please not you an all" Alex rolled her eyes as Bill continued to chuckle quietly. They sat together in comfortable silence watching Piper sleep before Bill's face became uncharacteristically serious and Alex looked at him curiously.

"Can you remember anything from the past week?"

"No nothing I remember blacking out at home and then waking up here that's it"

"None of the conversations that happened around you?"

"No"

Bill went quiet but the serious look remained on his face.

"Why should I have done?"

"No, no it's not important"

Alex could tell Bill was backtracking and her curiosity rose "Bill what is it?"

"If Piper suddenly wasn't in your life anymore what would you do?"

Alex felt herself involuntarily shiver at the thought "I don't know"

Bill looked at her intently "Honestly Bill I don't know I can't imagine my life without her now. I survived once before but I never truly moved on I tried, I really did, but no one ever seemed to match up to Piper. I try not to think about it to be honest Bill"

Bill just nodded before she shifted awkwardly in his seat "Has the nurse talked about what happened to you?"

Alex nodded "Yes... I can still scarcely believe it. I can hardly believe I came that close to not being here anymore"

"Piper called me the night they brought you back to the ICU I set off from home as soon as I had put the phone down and when I arrived I stood outside this room and watched Piper fall apart it scared me, shook me to my very core. She told me she would never ask for anything again as long as you would be ok that was all she needed. She was so childlike Alex I wanted to weep with her"

Alex felt the emotion begin to well up inside of her creeping it's way up from deep within her stomach. She watched Bill's breath hitch and she held her hand out to him wanting to ease the worry that marred his features. Bill took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly "When the doctor told us you had gone into toxic shock she crumbled, it was terrible Alex it was like the life just drained out of her and for a moment she just gave up but I told her off told her if she didn't fight for you how could you possibly do it alone"

"Well then I obviously owe you a thank you"

Bill shook his head and he ran a hand through his thinning hair tiredly "I don't want your thanks I just want you to know what happened, all the details because I know Piper won't tell you. Not because she's trying to hide it but I know she won't want you to know how desperate she was"

"Thanks Bill"

"I haven't finished yet"

Alex felt her stomach churn listening to Bill's tale so far had been difficult enough she wasn't certain she wanted to hear anymore. Piper turned in her sleep mumbling incoherently and Bill held his breath watching her intently but Piper did not wake only pressed her face into Alex's warm skin of her upper arm.

"She had fallen asleep at your bedside and I was grateful glad that she would sleep through the critical 3 hours you had been given. I was standing in the corridor when the machine wail started and I watched in disbelief as the doctor and nurse rushed in and Piper was pulled from the room. She watched through that window there as they struggled to resuscitate you and when they tried to call your time of death she erupted"

Bill's voice was becoming strained and Alex could feel her eyes beginning to burn she looked at Piper intently her features relaxed in sleep she looked so content that it was hard to imagine the hell she had obviously lived through this last week.

"It was so hard to watch Alex"

A tear slipped down Bill's cheek and Alex was at a loss as to how to comfort him "I'm sorry Bill I'm so sorry" her own voice caught with emotion and she clung to Bill's hand like it was a lifeline.

"She's my everything, always has been even though I wasn't particularly good at showing it when she was younger. She's always been my princess, my special little girl and I adore her"

Alex was a bit confused as to were Bill was going with this conversation but she nodded encouragingly sensing that Bill needed to get this off her chest.

"So I need you to treasure her, look after her and be there for her because she won't survive without you Alex so I beg you please fight this, live a long happy life and look after my daughter"

"I have no intention of doing anything else sir"

Bill still looked downcast and Alex was at a loss for how to take the worry away that he was obviously harbouring so she tried for a smile although it was slightly strained.

"But if anything does happen she can always trade me in for a younger model maybe Ruby Rose is available I'm sure she would keep her happy for ever"

Alex chuckled but it fell to nothing as Bill's expression never changed in fact his eyes became slightly stormy and Alex faltered torn between wanting to apologise and wanting to tell Bill to lighten up.

"Come on Bill I'm only joking"

"Piper told you, as you lay flat lining in that bed, that if you left her again she was going to step out of this hospital and into the path of the next moving vehicle she was so adamant that she wasn't being left behind again"

Alex's mouth fell open and she felt her eyes bulge in shock. Her arm tightened around Piper involuntarily her blood running cold at the image that crept unwillingly into her mind at Bill's words. Piper's broken beaten body, eyes open, unfocused and lifeless lying on cold tarmac.

"Seems even in your unconscious state you were listening those words obviously gave you the kick up the arse you needed"

The tears fell unchecked down Alex's cheeks she felt overwhelmed her brain and heart buzzing overflowing with emotion. Bill was watching her carefully and she couldn't hold back the sob that erupted as her body trembled and shook.

"Oh Alex I didn't mean to upset you I just want you to know how much she loves and needs you please don't cry"

Bill reached up and grabbed a tissue from the table at the end of the bed and he wiped at her cheeks while placing a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'll fucking kill her when she wakes up"

Bill laughed through his own tears and they cried together for a few more minutes until Bill wiped his face and stood back.

"Right enough tears there has been far too many this week for my liking"

Alex nodded wiping at her cheeks with her hand whilst trying not to move too much.

"Hey I've just noticed your stutter seems to have eased"

Alex smiled she hadn't noticed either but now she thought about it she wasn't tripping over her t's when she talked and the realisation only made her smile wider.

"Maybe that's what my brain needed a weeks long sleep to finally heal!"

"Or it just needed a break from talking you would never have been able to do that while conscious it would kill Piper not being able to talk to you!"

They continued to talk about happier topics Bill cracking jokes telling tales about his friends and after a good hour of not stop chatter Bill finally stood up stretching his back.

"Right well I'm going to go and get myself a coffee you can wake sleeping beauty while I'm gone"

When Bill had left the room Alex leaned over and pressed a kiss to Piper's lips watching as Piper's face scrunched adorably before her eyes fluttered open, her baby blue eyes lighting up as she looked up at Alex.

"Hey"

"Hey yourself"

Piper stretched but she did not move wrapping her arm around Alex's waist she raised her head upwards leaning on Alex's chest.

"Your dads here we didn't think you were going to wake up at all"

Piper chuckled sleep still evident in her husky tones "I think I needed the rest"

"Do you feel better this morning?"

Piper lifted her head up and beamed at Alex her face a picture of happiness "I feel a bit sick and groggy I think it's tiredness. But seeing you awake, I can't describe how happy I am right now"

Piper stroked a gentle finger down her cheek and her smile faltered slightly as her expression became curious "Have you been crying?"

The weight of Bill's earlier words came rushing back and Alex struggled to tamper down the urge to scold Piper for her actions while she was unconscious knowing that they born from desperation.

"Me and your dad had a moment we're ok now though you don't need to worry"

Alex made sure to smile reassuringly and she was glad to see the worry quickly disappear from Piper's face.

"Was he telling you what you missed at Christmas because I know how devastated you are to have missed a Chapman holiday"

Alex laughed loudly and tickled at Piper playfully "Oh I'm gutted you have no idea how much I'm trying to hold back tears here"

"Well it's alright we'll have a belated Christmas when you get to come home. Has the nurse been in yet this morning?"

"Yes she's really happy with my progress and apparently the worst is over I should be able to come home in a few days"

Piper smiled wildly and wrapped her fingers with Alex's squeezing tightly "Good I'll speak with Nurse Stevens later see what she has to say"

"Have you been home at all this past week?"

Piper averted her eyes and played with Alex's fingers not giving her an answer.

"Piper..."

"No I couldn't leave Al, I just couldn't"

Alex wanted to scold her but hearing the honesty in Piper's voice stopped her in her tracks. she knew if it had been her in the same position she would have fought tooth and nail to remain by Piper's side as well.

"Well then why don't you go home for the afternoon have one of your famously long baths then you can come back later if you really want to"

"No I don't want to"

Alex sighed "Pipes I'm going to be fine here for a few hours on my own, i'll probably just sleep anyway, it will give you a chance to recharge a little bit. I can only imagine how hard this has been for you"

Before Piper could answer the door opened and Bill came in clutching a large Starbucks coffee cup in each hand and he smiled when he saw that Piper was awake.

"Good morning darling here you go"

"Thank you daddy"

Piper sat upright and took the cup from Bill's hand and cradled it between her palms. Alex though would not be deterred from her previous thought and she turned to Bill who had sat back down into the armchair at the side of her.

"Bill can you take this one home for a few hours?"

Alex could feel Piper's glare burning into her but she ignored her instead waiting for Bill to answer who was looking between them anxiously.

"I can if that's what you want Piper"

"Please Kid do this for me I'm worried about you"

Alex knew she was playing on Piper's emotions but she really was worried about her she looked so worn out and Alex just wanted her to be able to relax for a few hours away from the hospital.

"Nothing's going to happen and even if something did the nurse's would call you straight away and you could be back here within half an hour"

"Alex is right darling she's out of the woods now she'll be perfectly fine here and I can come back after I've dropped you off and then come and pick you back up that way she won't even be on her own for very long"

Alex watched as Piper's expression changed from defiance to reluctant acceptance her face was unsmiling though and Alex wanted that to change.

"Hey I love you ok? And I'll be right here waiting for you ready to give you a cuddle when you're nice and clean and no longer smell of eau du hospital"

Piper rolled her eyes but a small smile crept across her lips and Alex nodded to Bill.

"Well that settles it drink your coffee then you can get changed and go be a mermaid in your ridiculously large tub and relax"

"That bath tub is massive isn't it! I thought she had gone mad when it had arrived but she swears it's one of the best things I ever bought her"

"I've found myself agreeing with her Bill its fits us both in there quite nicely"

Alex winked and chuckled as Bill just shook his head and Piper rolled her eyes at the gentle teasing. Piper got up a few minutes later pressed a kiss to Alex's lips and headed to the camp bed picking up her bag of clothes before she made her way to the door "I'm just going to go and get changed"

As soon as Piper left Bill turned to look at Alex worriedly "Have you told her about what I said?"

Alex shook her head "No I don't want her to think about it anymore"

Bill looked relieved "Well done on persuading her to go home I've been trying all week"

"Well now I'm awake there's no reason why she cannot nip home. Just try not to bring her back to early I know she's stubborn but I really do want her to get some rest"

Bill laughed "I'll try but I can't promise anything you know what she's like!"

"You can stay with her I don't need you to come back Bill its not worth the numerous car journeys, honestly I'll be fine"

Bill looked hesitant but Alex was insistent "honestly stop looking so worried I'm not going anywhere I'll still be here when you get back!"

* * *

Alex smiled happily as she looked around the new room she was glad to be out of the ICU this room was significantly less depressing and she was pleased that she had been placed on the same ward as when she last been in this hospital. At least the nurses in here where familiar faces and it was making her second stay in a hospital bed slightly more bearable. The doctor had been and checked her over after listening to her chest he had been immensely pleased with her progress and had quickly decided that there was no need for her to remain on oxygen. Alex had been ecstatic when he had said she would be released in the next couple of days if she continued to progress the way she was. Alex found she couldn't wait for Piper to come back so that she could tell her the good news.

The door opened and Alex's smile faltered slightly when a familiar young junior nurse popped her head around the door.

"Hi Alex! Nurse Stevens said you were back"

Alex almost rolled her eyes you would think she had returned to a hotel the way Sarah spoke and she grimaced.

"Are you feeling ok do you need any pain relief?"

Alex had to hold in a laugh obviously her discomfort had shown on features and she shook her head letting a wry grin cross her face.

"No thanks Sarah I'm fine"

Sarah continued to beam at her happily and Alex began to feel slightly uncomfortable "Was there anything you needed Sarah?"

The young girl seemed to grasp hold of herself and she shook her head quickly "No no sorry I just wanted to say hello so er Hi and I'll er see you later"

When the door closed Alex let out a relieved sigh for a moment she thought she was going to be in for a long hour of inane conversation. For a while she sat and relaxed with the television playing softly in the background and she closed her eyes listening to one of the music channels. Noises could be heard from the corridor and she frowned as they seemed to be getting louder there was a loud bang and then loud voices and Alex rolled her eyes you would think people could at least show some consideration in a hospital ward.

"Alex Vause?! Where is she?"

Bill's voice echoed loudly and Alex frowned at his hard tone and the underlying panic she could hear in his voice. There were loud footsteps then her door was wrenched open and Alex just raised her eyebrows in confusion as Bill barrelled in his actions fraught.

"No come on in Bill please don't wait outside"

Alex smiled but it was like Bill was frozen and she waited getting steadily more concerned before Bill suddenly relaxed collapsing into the chair at the side of her.

"Ok what the hell is going on with you?"

Bill didn't answer he just shook his head wearily running a shaking hand over his face.

"Bill you're fucking scaring me what is it?"

The door opened again and Nurse Stevens came in slightly out of breath and dishevelled.

"We've put her in the other private room Mr Chapman she'll be fine. It will have been a combination of stress, exhaustion and shock. I've attached her to a drip to keep her fluids up and I think it's best if we just let her sleep"

Alex's head whipped around her neck clicking in the process and she narrowed her eyes at Nurse Stevens "Piper?"

"Yes I'm sorry Alex I thought ..." Nurse Stevens trailed of looking from Bill to Alex worriedly.

"What's happened?" She didn't care who told her or how but she wanted to know exactly what had happened to Piper and she wanted to know now.

"We went up to ICU and when we got there you weren't there. One of the porters was clearing the bedding away and he couldn't tell us what had happened. Next thing she was on the floor I couldn't catch her in time, she must have presumed the worst"

"It will have been a combination of stress and exhaustion Alex she will be perfectly fine"

Alex looked between the nurse and Bill her worry not abdicating in the slightest and she pushed the covers back from her body and swung her legs over the side.

"Get me a chair"

"Alex there's nothing you can do you heard the nurse she's sleeping. You don't want to cause yourself unnecessary strain"

Alex turned to Nurse Stevens imploringly ignoring Bill's words "Please?"

The nurse hesitated for a moment but Alex raised her chin defiantly she was not going to take no for an answer. Eventually Nurse Stevens nodded although she did not look particularly happy.

"Ok I'll be back for you in a moment"

When she left Alex turned to back to Bill who looked exhausted "Bill go home you look dead on your feet and you heard the nurse she'll be fine"

"Oh then why are you insistent on getting out of this bed then hmm?"

"Because I need her to know that I'm here and that I haven't left her because God knows what'll be going on in that head of hers after seeing that empty bed"

Bill nodded solemnly and he handed Alex Piper's bag "I want you to ring me the second there is any change ok?" Alex nodded "I need to ring Carol and let her know. I'll go back to Piper's apartment that way I'm not too far from here"

Bill stood and pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek "You promise you'll call me?"

Alex nodded "Of course I will"

Bill still looked hesitant but when Nurse Stevens appeared at the door wheelchair in hand Alex nodded at him and gestured with her hand.

"I'll speak to you later Bill ok?"

Nurse Stevens smiled at Bill as he left before she turned back to Alex her face turning more severe.

"Right then let's get you into this chair and we'll go and see your fiancee"

* * *

"See Alex she's perfectly fine the saline drip is just to keep her hydrated and its just a case of her body needs to rest. Piper's just pushed herself that little too hard it's understandable with everything that's been going on and it happens to the best of us"

"She looks stressed even in her sleep"

Alex reached out and took Piper's hand firmly in her own being careful to avoid the needle securing the drip strapped to her skin. Slowly she rubbed her thumb back and forth across Piper's knuckles hoping the contact would soothe and comfort her love even though she knew it was futile. Alex felt a lump appear in her throat she felt guilty knowing Piper was sat in this bed due to her and her alone.

Nurse Stevens smiled at her sympathetically and she placed a hand on her shoulder squeezing it softly.

"I'm sure she'll feel better now that you're here"

Alex just looked at her incredulously she did not appreciate the mollycoddling knowing the nurse was just trying to ease her fears.

"Yeah how? She's not going to know I'm here she's out of it"

"Well you knew when Piper was in the room"

Nurse Stevens face was stern and Alex looked at her curiously, she couldn't remember anything from her unconscious periods. People had before talked of remembering conversations that had happened around them while in a coma or whatever but this had not happened for Alex time had passed as if she had just been sleeping.

"Your vitals always spiked whenever she came back into the room and took your hand or lent against you as she slept. It always made me smile I don't think I've ever met a couple so in tune with one another"

Alex turned her head away feeling embarrassed a faint blush creeping over her face and when she answered her voice sounded gruff with emotion "Yeah well I love her"

"It's why I overruled hospital policy and let her stay here I knew if anything was going to improve your recovery time it was having Piper right along side you"

Nurse Stevens squeezed her shoulder once more before she turned to the door.

"Push the buzzer if you need anything and I mean anything Alex pain relief, water you name it I'll come with it. I do not want you putting your own health at risk and neither would Piper do you hear me?"

Alex fought the urge to roll her eyes at the nurse's fussing instead she nodded knowing that Piper and herself had a lot to be grateful for from this particular nurse.

Once Alex was certain the door was firmly closed she scooted the wheelchair further up the side of the bed so that she was as close as she could be to Piper's face.

"Hey Kid it's me, I'm ok I had just been moved to another bed that's all alright? I'm back in the ward I was last time but it's a different room. Still anything's better than the ICU"

Alex kept talking keeping her gaze fixed on the hand in her own she felt like an idiot and she wondered how often Piper had sat at her bedside talking to her unconscious form.

"So you need to just relax and get some sleep and I'll be here waiting when you wake up"

Alex lifted Piper's hand up to her mouth pressing her lips to her palm lovingly struggling to hold back the urge to cry. She had never seen Piper in a situation like this and it was scaring her. In that moment she was incredibly glad that it was her who had endured the tumour and all its complications because right now she didn't think she could have coped if it had been the other way round. It was a sobering thought and Alex realised just how strong and amazing Piper had been throughout all this process from her operation to the rehab supporting her with her speech and her struggle to walk.

Nurse Stevens came back in about an hour later and after Alex had outrightly refused to return to her bed she had helped move Alex from the wheelchair to the large chair that Nurse Stevens kindly pulled up to the bedside. Now Alex was snoozing quietly still with her arm firmly stretched out her fingers tangled with Piper's and she could feel herself beginning to give in to the urge to sleep.

Just as she was beginning to drift off Alex felt Piper's fingers twitch in her hold and she opened one eye and squinted down at their joined hands. It happened again and Alex sat up trying to shake the sleep from her mind as she focused on Piper's twitching body. She knew from experience that Piper was going to wake in moments and she rubbed at her eyes and stretched as best she could trying to seem a bit more awake. Slowly Piper's eyes fluttered open and Alex watched as her eyes flitted back and forth looking around the room before her gaze landed on Alex her forehead creasing with confusion and sadness.

"Alex? But how?"

"Shh Kid"

"But-"

"No you're not seeing things"

Alex shook her head cutting Piper off before she could even begin wanting to nip this in the bud swiftly before Piper became upset.

"I have been moved on to the normal ward that's why I wasn't there ok? I'm here and I'm alive I've not left I'm right here"

Alex squeezed Piper's hand tightly in her own and brought it up to her chest resting it against were her heart was beating strongly. She smiled gently her smile becoming wider as her words seemed to have the desired effect as Piper's expression turned to one of pure joy.

"You had me worried for a moment there"

Piper groaned and brought a hand up to her face "I feel like such an idiot"

Alex lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss to Piper's knuckles.

"Don't be embarrassed you're burnt out Nurse Stevens says your body had just had enough so you need to relax ok and let yourself get some much needed rest"

Piper nodded her face still sheepish and Alex chuckled tickling at her side playfully "And you call me a drama queen"

Piper laughed sleepily and Alex felt the worry begin to drain away from her body now that she could see that Piper was ok. Piper just continued to gaze at her adoringly until she frowned "Should you even be out of bed!?"

"Probably not but I don't think anyone was going to try and stop me"

Piper rolled her eyes "I'm fine"

"Yeah well I needed to see with my own two eyes and before you start the reason you're in this bed is because you have been too busy worrying over me instead of looking after yourself"

Piper scowled at her gentle scolding and she pointed to Alex as she sat in her chair.

"Yeah pot kettle ..."

Alex laughed "We make a right pair don't we"

Piper smiled her gaze becoming tired and Alex leaned forwards running a hand down Piper's face soothingly.

"Go back to sleep you need it"

"Yeah well I could say the same to you"

"I'm going to sleep right here I'll be fine ok now get some rest"

Piper looked at her and Alex raised her eyebrow she was not backing down on this one she was not leaving this bedside until Piper was firmly asleep.

"I love you"

"I love you too now sleep"

Piper closed her eyes and snuggled back down into the covers just as Alex thought she was drifting off Piper mumbled under her breath tiredly.

"Make sure you don't cramp up in that chair it won't do that leg any good"

Alex just smiled and pressed another kiss to their joined hands and she watched closely as Piper finally succumbed to sleep her body relaxing her breathing evening out.

In that moment she felt incredibly lucky to have such a wonderfully dedicated loving partner and something clicked in her mind a thought she had never really entertained before suddenly made complete sense. She would provide Piper with her wish, she would make this brilliant, caring woman her wife.

 **A.N I hope you enjoyed :)**

 **RJVause in your last review you mentioned you would like Piper and Alex to have a belated Christmas. It was an idea that hadn't crossed my mind but after you (+ guest) mentioned it I will try and incorporate it into a future chapter as a thank you for your continued support :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A.N 266 Reviews, 152 follows and 52 Favourites :) THANK YOU!**

 **I really enjoyed writing this chapter maybe it was good for my soul to write some happiness for a change I got a little caught up with it in my own head and found myself smiling my way through the process as I typed which is usually so not me :)**

"Ok theoretically speaking what would be your ideal 'dream wedding'?"

Piper turned to her with her eyebrows raised but Alex kept her gaze firmly on the television in front of them. They had arrived home from the hospital that morning, Nurse Stevens had signed the release papers sternly stating that apart from Alex's out patient therapy she did not want to see either of them gracing her ward again. Alex had thanked her for all her help profusely, genuinely feeling quite emotional. Piper of course had cried and pulled the nurse into a crushing embrace almost strangling the poor woman in the process. By the time Alex had managed to pry Piper away Nurse Stevens had also been sporting tears in her eyes and Alex was grateful Bill had been there to usher them away before it got any more emotional.

Now they were sat entwined on the couch a blanket spread over their legs a mug of coffee in each of their hands and Piper had sat and commanded control of the television remote currently watching a reality TV programme about weddings. Alex had raised her eyebrows at her choice in programme but Piper had just shushed her with a 'well there's nothing else on'. Alex had reached for a book reading quietly but every so often she glanced at the screen scoffing at some of the more sentimental rubbish she had witnessed as Piper had shushed her softly.

"Why are you asking?"

Alex shrugged making sure her face was impassive "Well I know you like the idea of marriage so I just presumed you would have quite a strong idea of how your 'big day' should be"

Piper's face relaxed and she smiled as she fixed her gaze back to the television. A bride had just found out her husband to be had booked a theme park for their wedding venue and to say she was displeased would be an understatement causing Alex to scoff in amusement.

"Too be honest I've never given it much thought"

Alex snorted and looked at Piper incredulously "I don't believe that! You were engaged to Larry surely you made some plans"

Piper's forehead creased slightly and she looked as if she was considering her words carefully. Alex turned her gaze back to her book but she wasn't really concentrating on the words in front of her.

"To be honest I was so firmly living the perfect blonde lady life I would have just gone along with whatever my mother planned for me"

Alex looked up from her book and she reached her hand out and took Piper's in her hold.

"I always knew even from being a child that my wedding day would be a great Chapman event and that I would never truly have much of an input. Danny's wedding was pretty much the same but he has always been a Chapman through and through so it didn't really faze him"

Alex rarely heard Piper talk about her older brother it was like he didn't exist she had of course known Piper had two brothers it had come up in conversation when they first started dating but he was rarely mentioned by either Bill or Piper something, when she thought about it, she found strange but she had never wanted to pry.

"Did you ever think about getting married?"

Alex snorted and laughed "What do you think"

"Not even when you were a little girl?"

Alex shook her head "I've never been conventional Kid I think I always knew I was never going to walk down the aisle to Mr Right and pop out a couple of kids even before I realised I was into pussy"

Piper scowled slightly at her crudeness but then her face relaxed grinning "I happen to think you would look rather fetching in a wedding dress"

"You, my dear, would think I looked good in anything"

Alex winked at Piper playfully as Piper nodded her face completely seriouse making Alex chuckle l before she raised an eyebrow seriously.

"You don't seem to be answering my question"

"Well that's because I don't really know I haven't thought about weddings for a long time when I asked you to marry me I wasn't really thinking about the details"

"Just the fact you want to become Mrs Vause"

Piper blushed heavily a sheepish look across her face "I could have killed Nurse Stevens when she told you that"

"Well I'm glad she did it gave me a massive ego boost!"

Piper snorted "Yeah because your ego really needs boosting"

"I am an incredibly shy and meek person I don't know what you are implying"

Piper shoved her playfully and Alex laughed loudly all the while trying to avoid Piper's tickling hands.

"Well you tell me, if me and you were to get married tomorrow what would you want?"

"Some decent fucking gifts"

Alex kept her face serious laughing inside at the shocked look across Piper's face. Eventually though she couldn't hold in the snort of laughter and Piper rolled her eyes at Alex's teasing. The turn in conversation led Alex to remember something and she smiled widely at Piper who looked at her curiously in return.

"Wait here a minute"

Alex pressed a kiss to Piper's forehead before she reached for her crutches that were resting against the arm of the couch.

Slowly she made her way carefully into the bedroom to the bedside table at her side of Piper's bed. Reaching into the drawer Alex wrapped her hand around the small black box that was hidden towards the back away from prying eyes. Holding the gift in her hand Alex felt slightly nervous not about actually giving the gift to Piper she just hoped that she loved it as much as Alex thought she would.

Alex slipped the box into the pocket of her joggers and slowly she made her way back to the living room. Although she had been using the crutches for a few weeks her week of inactivity seemed to have set her back and her left arm was shaking slightly as it supported her weight. Not wanting to fall Alex concentrated hard and she ignored Piper's concerned gaze that she could feel burning into her. For a moment she felt felt embarrassed she wanted to snap at Piper tell her to stop fucking watching but Alex tampered down the urge knowing her fiancee was just looking out for her. As she sat heavily back down into the soft cushions she willed her anger away and she smiled a small smile in Piper's direction trying to ease her concern.

"I'm ok Piper"

Piper nodded sheepishly "I'm sorry I don't mean to fuss over you I'm trying to stop myself I promise I know it irritates you"

Alex felt her heart squeeze at Piper's guilty tone and she pulled Piper towards her pressing a gentle kiss to her lips "Don't apologise for caring Kid"

Piper kissed her back humming lightly until she pulled away a playful expression on her face "What was I waiting for then?"

Alex felt the flutter of nerves rush over her causing her skin to tingle and she forced her expression to remain neutral "I'm surprised you have managed to contain yourself for this long if I'm honest I thought you would have been on at me the moment we got through the door"

Piper's eyes narrowed confused and Alex smiled as she could practically see the cogs turning in Piper's head as she tried to work out what Alex was referring to.

"You don't know?"

"No I can't think of anything I mean I'm horny and I can't wait to get you naked in that bed again but I thought I best not jump you the moment we got home in case you thought I was some sort of sex crazed animal"

Alex felt a flush of arousal spread over her body and settle in her stomach and she quirked her eyebrow playfully "Horny are you? Well something needs to be done about that now doesn't it"

Stretching her arm out she tugged Piper's hand hard so that she tumbled into her their lips crashing together. Alex nipped and sucked at Piper's lower lip letting her hands roam across her chest palming her already hardening nipples through her thin vest top.

"Hmm Al..."

Piper allowed their tongues to meet and Alex eagerly explored the hot confines of Piper's mouth coaxing her tongue to play with her own but never allowing her to take charge. Alex could feel Piper's kiss becoming charged and she pulled back abruptly causing Piper to let out an indignant moan.

"We seem to be getting a little distracted"

Piper folded her arms covering her nipples that were straining through her top grumbling under her breath "Yeah well who's faults that"

Alex laughed and slipped her hand into her bottoms wrapping her fingers around her gift.

"So I have something for you"

Piper's face lit up with excitement and a look of understanding suddenly passed across her features "Is this my Christmas gift?"

Alex nodded smiling feeling the nerves beginning to build again but she forced them away reasoning with herself that she was being ridiculous.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands"

Piper rolled her eyes but she complied squeezing her eyes tightly shut her palms outstretched in front of her eagerly.

Digging deep into her pocket Alex closed her hand around the box and slowly withdrew her gift making sure Piper still had her eyes shut. Alex leant forwards and placed a kiss to Piper's palm causing Piper to giggle.

"Don't open those eyes"

Piper pulled her tongue out and Alex smiled her love was such a child at times. Slowly she pressed the gift into Piper's hands watching as her eyes stayed shut but her fingers began to wrap around the small box fingering the velvet softly a smile spreading over her face.

"You can open your eyes now love"

Alex involuntarily held her breath as Piper's bright blue eyes opened immediately coming to rest on the box in her hand. She looked from the box to Alex a look of wonderment on her face but she did not move and Alex could feel herself becoming restless with impatience.

"Are you going to open it?"

"Is it what I think it is?"

"Well I know just how much you have always wanted a nipple ring your second gifts the piercing appointment"

Alex fought hard to keep her face straight but she couldn't as Piper laughed loudly nearly dropping the box in her hand as her body shook with laughter.

"Open it! Otherwise I'm taking it back"

Piper opened the box with shaking hands and Alex watched closely as Piper's mouth fell open and tears began to build at the corner of her eyes when the contents where revealed to her.

Alex waited impatiently for Piper to speak but her love just carried on staring and Alex could feel her nerves build.

"Do you like it?" Piper sighed and Alex immediately winced "I can take it back I kept the receipt. I knew I should have taken you with me I just wanted it to be a sur-"

Piper lips collided roughly with her own stealing the breath from her lungs stunning her into silence. When Piper pulled away she turned to gaze at the ring now held tightly in her hand her face a picture of happiness.

"Oh Al I love it"

"Are you sure?"

Piper nodded fiercely and Alex felt the worry fall away and a relieved chuckle passed her lips.

"Will you put it on for me?"

The adorable look and hesitant words made Alex's heart melt and she plucked the ring from its box and reached for Piper's left hand. Slowly she slid the sparkling engagement ring onto Piper's ring finger all the while staring at her love who's face shone with happiness.

"I couldn't have you walking around without a rock on her hand now could I" Alex pressed a kiss to Piper's hand and winked "If you're so intent on this fiancée thing we at least need to do it properly don't we"

"Alex it's so beautiful it must have cost you a fortune"

Piper was right it had cost a small fortune but Alex had received a late pay cheque from a client and when Bill had outrightly refused to take the money for her hospital fees she made the decision to spend it on Piper. She knew when picking this particular diamond that it would be worth it and she had been proven right. Piper was practically buzzing with excitement and she reached for her phone taking a picture of her outstretched hand. She fiddled with her phone for a moment then placed it back down on to the arm of the couch. Not a moment later Alex's phone buzzed and she looked at Piper curiously before she opened the message that she had received.

'Fuckin' hell Vause I take it all back its you I should have picked as my prison wife you have fantastic taste and obviously plenty of money! Chapman best watch her back I think I'm gonna have to steal you away!'

Alex laughed loudly quickly showing Piper the message and they laughed together before Piper leant against her pressing a kiss to the her neck.

"I am so in love with you"

Alex's whole being swelled with love and happiness she felt on cloud nine and she cuddled Piper closer pressing a kiss to her hairline.

Piper held her hand out the diamond catching the light it glinting brightly and when Piper started to giggle Alex tilted her head "What are you laughing at?"

"I can't wait to show my mum this diamonds bigger than hers she's going to be so jealous!"

Alex laughed loudly secretly pleased she hoped that it did irk Carol in some way that she had given Piper such a ring and she hoped that it would prove that Alex could provide Piper with, at least financially, what Carol thought she deserved.

"I've never had anything so beautiful"

"Not even the ring Larry gave you?"

The words were out before Alex could stop them and she tensed feeling slightly silly as she waited eager for Piper to respond.

"No it wasn't a patch on this"

Alex feeling slightly daft at how happy that statement made her pulled Piper so that they were lying down spooning Piper closely to her body.

"Even if Larry had given me the biggest diamond in the world it wouldn't have been half as good as this one"

"Oh and why's that"

Piper turned in her arms looking at her with utter love and affection "Because this one was given to me by the love of my life and it shows the world that I belong to you. Nothing will ever mean as much to me as your love does and this ring is a symbol of it"

"I fucking love you Kid"

Alex kissed Piper hungrily trying to force the tears away that had built at Piper's words and she pulled Piper's body as close as she possibly could.

Alex's hands began to roam again pinching at Piper's nipples roughly through her vest the hardened peaks straining against the material. Piper began to pant and gasp her body straining for Alex's touch and Alex couldn't help but smirk into their kiss. Needy Piper always empowered her and she loved it.

"Bedroom?"

Alex watched the gleam in Piper's eyes turn primal and Alex chuckled huskily as Piper practically leapt from the couch her arm outstretched reaching for Alex's hand.

"Fuck yes"

* * *

Piper let her body crash into the bed as she desperately tried catch her breath her chest heaving with the effort. Her body was burning up and she was covered from head to toe in a thin film of sweat but she was certain she had never felt so alive. Alex wasn't faring much better and as she looked deep into her lover's eyes they both started to laugh uncontrollably their happiness infectious. As their laughter slowed Alex stretched out an arm and Piper moved sluggishly to rest her head on Alex's chest her arm coming to rest on her stomach and she began to trace circular patterns on Alex's warm soft skin.

"I wouldn't want anything too fussy"

Alex just looked at her confused and Piper smiled nervously before she continued.

"My ideal wedding. I wouldn't want a massive over the top affair with every Tom, Dick and Harry in attendance who I've only met once and they're only there because they know my parents"

Alex was looking at her intently and Piper felt slightly exposed she tilted her head so that she could ignore the intense green eyes concentrating on her hand that was still drawing circles.

"Something small and private so that its just about me and you and our love for each other not some sort of circus were people are clamouring to attend because it's a 'lesbian wedding' like its something to tick of their bucket list"

Piper found herself scowling at the thought and she shook her head to rid the images of her mother's snotty pretentious friends from her mind.

"I would love to just run away with you to, I don't know, Cambodia or Mexico and get married on the beach, just me and you and the sunset in the background"

Piper sighed wistfully and Alex squeezed her shoulder tightly as she pressed a kiss to her head.

"But I know it would upset far to many people so maybe you've got the right idea Al maybe weddings are too much bloody trouble"

"I'm always right Piper surely you should know that by now"

Piper chuckled at Alex's teasing feeling her embarrassment fall away and she raised her head to look into the familiar green eyes she loved so much.

"Hmm just on this occasion maybe. It is true that I don't need a piece of paper to show my love for you"

Piper smiled but then started to pout slightly.

"Although Piper Vause does sound so unbelievably cool"

Alex laughed loudly and Piper's head shook as the sound reverberated through her body.

"You'll always be Mrs Vause to me Kid if it makes you happy"

Piper prodded and tickled at Alex's ribs giggling herself as Alex's body squirmed trying to avoid her fingers. Piper's gaze fell on her engagement ring and her smile widened it truly was an impressive piece of jewellery and she felt truly blessed that Alex had picked such a stunning piece for her to wear. Looking at the gift caused her to frown slightly as she remembered her own plan for Alex's Christmas present and Piper found herself doubting the gift she had planned.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I haven't actually got you a main Christmas gift and after receiving this-" Piper gestured to her hand "My plan seems to pale in comparison"

"Oh and what was this grand plan of yours"

"I was going to take us to Paris" Piper nuzzled her head into Alex's neck "You know when you've finished your treatment"

Alex didn't reply and Piper felt her insecurity rise "I thought it would be nice to go back and make some happy memories in the place that holds such a dark spot in our lives but it seems stupid now"

Piper felt Alex shift and she closed her eyes struggling to hold back the disappointment. She felt Alex's long fingers gently grasp her chin and she allowed her head to be raised so that she was looking directly at her fiancée's smiling face.

"I would love to go to Paris with you Kid it's a brilliant idea"

Alex moved her hand so that she was cupping her cheek warmly and Piper let herself relax into the familiar touch her disappointment fading away as she took in Alex's earnest expression.

"You sure?"

Alex smiled widely and she brought their lips together into a loving kiss causing Piper to sigh happily.

"I'm positive and just think this time around I'll have all the time in the world to wander around flea markets and drink cafe au lait with you"

Piper chuckled hoarsely and she kissed Alex again feeling overwhelmingly happy.

"Still its not as good a gift as this rock I'm sporting"

Alex quirked an eyebrow "No but then again I have always liked to show off haven't I"

Piper nodded seriously before they broke out into a fit of laughter once again wrapping their arms around one another as they nestled deep into the covers.

 **A.N I think these two deserve some happy times after everything I've put them through ... as usual would love to hear your thoughts :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A.N I have really struggled with writer's block this week its bizarre how suddenly it becomes so difficult to get the ideas from my head onto the page and I'm actually shocked I've managed to complete this chapter at all.**

 **I have made more changes and tweaks than i ever have before but I made the decision to stop faffing with it and just hope that it lives up to your usual expectations.**

 **Thanks as always for the previous comments, happy reading...**

* * *

"Where is Mrs Scrooge then?"

Piper chuckled watching as Nicky ferociously threw fake snow across her living room floor while grinning at her like a lunatic. The room around her now resembled some sort of Santa's grotto every available surface had a different form of Christmas ornament adorning it and tinsel had been draped around the room glistening in the light. With her fire burning, bathing the room in a warm glow, it felt rather magical and Piper was immensely pleased at what she had managed to achieve in just a couple of hours.

"My dad's taken her out for a coffee and some fresh air she has no idea she's coming home to a belated Christmas!"

Nicky laughed loudly and Piper grinned at her in reply after receiving her gift yesterday Piper decided that they would have their own mini Christmas and she had coerced her dad and Nicky into helping. After all their drama she thought it would be nice if they all had a small belated get together and the plan was Nicky and Bill would stay the night so that they could all enjoy a decent drink without having to mess about with taxis or hotels.

"Why does Vause hate Christmas so much anyway?"

Piper didn't answer straight away she took her time tidying away the rubbish that was strewn across the room while she contemplated the best way to answer Nicky's question. Alex had never openly admitted exactly why she loathed the festive season but conversations over the years had hinted at the reason behind Alex's discomfort.

"I don't really know..."

Nicky frowned the look on her face telling Piper she didn't believe her at all.

"Honestly I don't Alex has never specifically said I just have my own theory"

Nicky nodded and gestured for her to continue.

"Alex had nothing growing up her mum used to work numerous jobs just to keep clothes on her back and food on the table and I can only imagine, when you're in that situation, that Christmas is a stark reminder of how little you have in comparison to everyone else"

Nicky looked pityingly in Piper's direction and Piper continued determinedly not liking the expression on Nicky's face it made her uncomfortable knowing how much Alex disliked pity from anybody.

"But at least she had a mother who loved her unconditionally who would literally do anything for her child's happiness. All Alex ever wanted growing up was money and all I ever wanted was my parents undivided attention it's funny how we desperately wanted what the other had"

Piper's voice trailed off and she blushed slightly as she resumed her tidying ignoring the slightly awkward silence that had descended at her words.

"Well I reckon she's gonna go bloody mad when she returns it looks like Christmas exploded in here!"

Piper laughed heartily pleased when her body relaxed and she was glad Nicky was moving on from the previous heavy conversation.

"Alex will pretend it's the worst idea ever until she sees the whiskey my dads brought with him that I've stashed away. Then trust me she'll have no complaints as long as her glass remains full"

"Ooh whiskey now your talking Chapman I reckon I might just be tempted to stay now you've mentioned that"

"You were already planning on staying"

"That's what you think if there had only been that non alcoholic beer crap on offer I'd have been making up any excuse to fuck off out of here at the first chance!"

Piper laughed at Nicky's teasing and continued laying the few small presents she had now bought for Alex under the tree along with the gifts for her father and Nicky it felt strange setting up the apartment like this in the first week of January but she was determined not to miss Christmas Day. Her favourite Christmas films had been purchased ready for popping into the DVD player and she had a turkey joint in the oven the only person missing was her mother who had stated that unfortunately she was away with friends and could not possibly cancel in case her friends thought her rude. Piper still couldn't decided whether she was miffed or pleased about her mother's absence.

"So is the Chapman matriarch away by choice or are you just trying to avoid having me and your mother in the same room?"

Nicky nudged at her side and laughed raucously and if Piper hadn't made her the coffee that was half drunk balanced on her end table she would have been convinced Nicky had already started drinking.

"She's gone to Florida to visit friends"

"Your Dad not fancy it?"

Piper shook her head a slight frown creasing her forehead "I think they're having a few issues at the minute, not that either of them are admitting, I reckon he'll be glad of the peace and quiet"

"Well he won't be getting peace and quiet today trust me I'll make sure of it!"

Piper laughed and her smile became brighter as she heard the tell tale sign of her front door unlocking.

"Brace yourself"

Nicky smirked and wrapped a piece of tinsel around her neck like a scarf and Piper turned back around at the loud gasp that sounded in the room.

"What the ... Fucking hell Piper it's like a fucking grotto in here!"

Alex's voice was incredulous and Piper beamed as her father too entered the room coming to a stop beside Alex his mouth falling open in shock, his eyebrows raising comically.

"Well darling it's certainly very festive in here I'm impressed we've only been gone two hours!"

"Well I've had my own version of a Santa's elf to help me"

"Merry Christmas!"

Nicky hurled herself at Alex almost knocking her off her crutches and Alex tried to scowl as Nicky wrapped the tinsel around her neck.

"Get off you prat its January. God if I had known this is what you were planning I wouldn't have come home. Did you know about this Bill?"

Bill smiled hesitantly the guilt clearly on show and Alex groaned rolling her eyes "I'm never trusting you again the next time 'shall just me and you go and get a coffee' fall from you lips I'm anchoring myself to the couch save Piper from creating Lapland in the bloody living room"

Piper rolled her eyes at Alex's grumbling and she held a sprig of mistletoe high above her head smirking in Alex's direction.

"You going to come over here and give me a kiss?"

Alex's scowl gave way to a small smile and she chuckled rolling her eyes as Piper batted her eyelashes pouting. Alex made her way over to Piper slowly, her crutches leaving tracks in the fake snow, before she could reach her however Nicky surged forwards and planted her lips straight on to Piper's.

"Nicky!"

Piper shoved Nicky off of her wiping at her lips with her hand as Bill laughed loudly only laughing harder when Alex shoved Nicky with her crutch knocking her backwards on to the couch.

"That was a poor effort Nic watch and learn this is how you give a kiss under the mistletoe"

Piper hummed as Alex's lips landed on her own and she eagerly opened her mouth as Alex traced her lips entwining their tongues in a heated embrace. Piper sighed happily losing herself in the sensation until she was pulled from the moment by a loud embarrassed cough.

"Ok you two that's enough"

Piper smiled sheepishly at her dad as Alex pulled away her signature smirk firmly in place. Nicky stood up from the couch and snatched the mistletoe from Piper's hand holding it over her own head as she batted her eyelashes and puckered her lips.

"You gonna come give me a smooch then Vause?"

Alex laughed and shook her head as Piper glared, her eyes flashing in warning. It was petty and she knew it but she just couldn't stop the jealous streak she seemed to have when it came to anyone trying to stake a claim to Alex. Even though it was Nicky and she knew nothing would happen she couldn't stop her body's automatic reaction. Piper caught Alex's eye and she blushed at the knowing smirk on Alex's face.

Seemingly sensing the message Nicky sighed theatrically and turned to face Bill "Chapman senior?"

Bill blushed and Piper chuckled letting her jealous irritation fall away feeling slightly ridiculous. Her cheeks still slightly reddened she plucked the mistletoe from Nicky's hand.

"Alright that's enough Christmas kisses leave my poor dad alone"

"Sorry Bill I'm only messing with you"

Bill took Nicky's proffered hand and shook it before pulling her into a one armed hug "Yes well Merry Christmas Nicky"

"Ok well as nice as these belated sentiments are can we at least get a drink make these dreadful festivities more bearable"

"Your favourite whiskey's in the cupboard but you might want to start with a beer I've got Christmas dinner in the oven"

"Proper beer?"

Piper nodded and Alex's face broke into a wide smile and she pressed a kiss to Piper's cheek.

"Beer it is then"

"I'll get them Alex"

Bill moved to the kitchen shedding his coat as he did and he made quick work of uncapping three beer bottles and pouring a large glass of white wine. Piper finished hanging the last of the decorations on the mantlepiece before she sat down in the chair heavily, gratefully accepting the glass of wine her father held in his outstretched hand.

"Thanks Dad"

With Bill and Alex taking up the couch Nicky settled on the floor next to her beer in her hand, her arms resting on her knees and she grinned up at Piper causing her to laugh, she looked like an overgrown child.

"This is ace Chapman if every Christmas is like this with you sign me up for next year!"

"Please don't encourage her Nic if this is what the apartment looks like with a day's planning can you even imagine what she would be capable of given time and preparation"

They all laughed at Alex's grumbling and Nicky just stuck her middle finger at her laughing.

"Don't be a sour patch Vause this is brilliant, miles better than my usual Christmas"

Piper smiled gently at Nicky who was still grinning but her expression had become slightly guarded.

"You'll always be welcome Nic ignore misery arse over there me and you can make it a yearly thing even if she doesn't want to get involved"

Piper winked at Alex who just shook her head smiling as she took a large gulp of beer.

"Are you ladies sure it's alright that I stay the night?"

"Oh are you staying as well Bill?"

"Yes it's fine that you're both staying me and Alex are happy to have you aren't we Al?"

Alex nodded firmly and Piper smiled at her father who still looked slightly hesitant.

"The spare beds made up for you Daddy and Nicky will you be alright on the couch?"

Nicky's face dropped comically and Piper raised her eyebrows.

"Well damn it Chapman and here was me thinking I was going to be bunking in with you and Vause! I was quite looking forward to snuggling up between you both having myself a little Vauseman sandwich"

Alex and Bill roared laughing as Piper just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't trust you in bed with either of us Nicky I reckon you've got wandering hands"

"Vauseman?"

Bill looked at Nicky curiously and she winked at him smirking.

"Yeah Vause, Chapman equals Vauseman hey if you two do decide to get married it could be your new surname!"

Alex looked thoughtfully at the notion but Piper scoffed if she was getting married there's no way she was having anything other than Vause.

"Nice idea Nic but I don't thinks it's going to happen Piper's quite intent on being nothing other than Mrs Vause aren't you love"

Piper nodded smiling wistfully in Alex's direction pleased when Alex's face softened into a look of adoration.

Nicky went quiet a contemplative look across her face before she broke out with a teasing grin.

"Well if you don't get married you can always give any kids you have the Vauseman surname"

Alex almost choked on her beer a look of pure horror across her features and Piper found she couldn't help but chuckle. She reached down and slapped Nicky across the back of her head causing her dad to laugh loudly.

"Nicky! Are you trying to give my fiancée a heart attack!"

"I notice you don't appear to be saying no to the idea"

Piper groaned loudly and she looked at Alex who was now looking at her in pure panic like she wanted to be anywhere else but here in this moment. Standing up from her chair Piper moved across the room and settled herself in Alex's lap and pressed her lips to Alex's own.

"No Nic, no kids we're happy as we are aren't we Al?"

"Yes, yes we are"

Alex nodded forcefully and Piper chuckled pleased to see the colour beginning to reappear in Alex's complexion.

"Well that's a shame Piper I happen to think you would make wonderful parents"

Piper's head whipped around at the same time as Alex's staring murderously at her dad who was sat wearing a cheeky smirk.

"Not even funny Bill"

Bill laughed at Alex's horror, winked at Nicky then stood up making his way to the kitchen. Once he had checked the oven he made his way over to the table and turned to them a huge smile across his face.

"Right after that little minefield of a discussion who's up for Turkey?"

* * *

"Let me see, come on what did she get you?"

Alex smirked as she watched Nicky grumble before she hesitantly let Bill see what it was that Alex had bought her. Bill looked at the book held tightly in Nicky's hands eagerly before his eyes read the front cover and his face turned a brilliant shade of red causing Alex to laugh loudly and Nicky to glare.

"That book will teach you how to become an expert Nichols"

"Oh is this were you learnt your trade then Vause"

"No I'm just naturally talented ask Piper" Alex winked and she turned smirking as Piper came back into the room a glass of wine in her hand.

"Ask me what?"

Nicky smiled wickedly holding up her gift '101 ways to please a woman' so that it was clearly on show.

"How talented Vause is in bed? She reckons she's an expert"

Piper slapped at Alex's arm playfully scolding her "You are so crude"

Alex smirked and pulled Piper closer so that she could whisper into her ear "I've got you a copy as well we can have a look through it later I'm fairly sure they'll be things in that book even me and you have never tried"

Piper blushed her cheeks becoming redder when her father raised an eyebrow in her direction and she placed a chaste kiss to Alex's lips before she whispered back "Not tonight we have guests"

Alex scowled gently feeling put out and Piper shoved her playfully before Nicky interrupted her by grasping at more gifts under the tree and throwing them in her direction.

"My gifts to you Chapmans get them opened"

"Oh Nicky you shouldn't have"

Nicky just shrugged and also handed Bill a small present awkwardly her face becoming slightly embarrassed when Bill looked at her in shock.

"Well this is lovely surprise Nicky thank you"

"Yeah well you haven't opened them yet"

Alex laughed loudly as both Bill and Piper's faces became slightly apprehensive and she raised her eyebrows in Nicky's direction, she two was curious to know exactly what Nicky had bought. Bill recovered first his face returning to a slight nervous smile but he slowly began to unwrap the small gift in his lap. Once the paper had been peeled away Bill's face broke into a wide grin and he chuckled eagerly holding up the small book entitled 'The little book of whiskey tips'. Bill eagerly started thumbing through the pages his smile only growing wider as he did.

"This is brilliant Nicky! There's some recipes in here I've never heard of"

Nicky looked incredibly relieved and Alex could tell the nerves had fallen away as Bill shook her hand in thanks. Alex truly admired Bill and it seemed Nicky did as well she wondered whether it was due to the fact that they both had absent fathers which made them now grateful for Bill's presence. Alex turned to look at Piper who was watching the scene in front of her with a small content smile playing across her lips and Alex nudged her gently before she whispered quietly.

"I'd open that while your dads distracted"

Piper's face turned to one of concern and she looked nervously between the gift in her lap and Bill.

"Do you know what it is?"

"No but I have an idea"

Piper quickly opened the present trying not to distract Nicky or her dad who were engrossed in the book for whiskey lovers. When Piper pulled back the paper she let out a relieved smile and Alex laughed as the worry fell from her features. Looking over she saw that although Piper's gift was underwear they seemed to be perfectly innocent black lace.

"Oh Nicky these are lovely thank you"

Nicky smirked and Alex narrowed her eyes suspiciously, turning again this time to look more closely at the knickers Piper was now holding up in front of her. This time she noticed something she hadn't the first time and Alex started to laugh just as Bill's mouth dropped open in horror.

"Babe those are crotchless put them down you're about to give your father a heart attack"

Piper turned the French knickers around and as soon as she saw the front she blushed bright red and quickly stuffed them back into the paper.

"Nicky!"

"What? There damn good quality Chapman so you best get your wear out of them"

"Oh don't worry Nicky she will"

As Nicky fell about laughing Alex reached over and plucked the knickers and matching bra from Pipers hands and placed them onto the small pile of gifts beside her. Alex had loved each of the presents she had received she had been truly pleased. Piper had bought her the usual bits a new silk negligee, some posh underwear of her own as well as some new books which she was itching to read. Nicky's gifts had been typically raucous edible body paint and a g string made of candy and she was glad she had opened them without Bill's knowledge she was certain he would have endured a small fit. Bill had bought her a thin sterling silver chain and Alex had adored it from the moment she had laid eyes on it and it was now securely fixed around her right wrist.

Now that all the presents had been unwrapped Alex winked at Bill as she gestured to the kitchen "Shall we crack open that whiskey then Bill?"

Both Nicky and Bill's expressions lit up and she smiled as Piper shook her head at the matching glee on their faces.

"Well we're going to need a drink especially if you're going to insist we watch one of the many Christmas films I noticed have made an appearance"

Pipers face lit up and she kissed Alex hard on the lips causing Alex to sigh happily "Does that mean you will watch them with me?"

"As long as there's whiskey Chapman we'll watch whatever the hell you want"

Bill laughed at Nicky's words and Alex found she couldn't agree more.

* * *

Piper leant back heavily into the couch sighing happily Alex's comforting weight was leaning up against her front and the warmth from her body along with the five glasses of wine she had eagerly consumed with Christmas dinner could easily have lulled her into a restful sleep. Instead of giving in to the pull of allowing her eyes to close she turned to her dad who was sitting in the arm chair nursing a whiskey a small content smile etched across his features.

"What's that smile for?"

Bill shrugged slightly a hint of a blush spreading over his complexion.

"It's just been a really lovely day and I've come to appreciate how much you all mean to me"

Piper felt the emotion rise in her throat and she struggled not to let it show in her voice as she joked.

"Even Nicky?"

Piper gestured to her friend who was spread across the floor a Christmas cracker hat draped across her head drool making its way down her chin as she slept laid out across the discarded wrapping paper and she giggled at the sight.

Bill laughed but he nodded eagerly "Yes even Nicky she's a good friend to both of you and a decent human being"

Piper smiled and shifted her legs slightly being careful not to disturb Alex who was still slumbering gently against her and she moved her arm slowly wrapping Alex's hand into her own loose hold.

"I think the whiskey has beaten these two what do you reckon?"

"Pfft and look at me I think I've had at least two more and I'm still sat upright, awake and sober"

Piper raised her eyebrows and Bill shrugged his shoulders.

"Well relatively sober"

Piper laughed softly and turned her attention back to the flames dancing in the fireplace. The clock on the wall chimed and as Piper counted the strikes she was surprised that it was already 12 o clock and she knew she should wake Nicky and Alex shortly so that they could get a proper nights sleep.

"It was a brilliant idea to do this Piper"

Piper was pulled from her thoughts and she blushed slightly at the sincere praise but she nodded at her father.

"I just didn't want us to miss out"

Her voice caught in her throat slightly and she turned her head away from her father's probing gaze as she felt emotion build in her eyes.

"It won't be the last one Piper"

Bill Chapman's voice burnt with conviction he had obviously picked up on the fear that she had been determinedly trying to hide all day not wanting Alex to realise exactly why she had been so eager to celebrate the missed holiday.

"I hope so but I just felt like I needed to have this memory just in case especially after coming so close to losing her"

Bill nodded sombrely "I understand but you shouldn't worry this one's going nowhere darling I promise you that"

Piper shook her head as she squeezed Alex's hand in her own.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Daddy I'm just trying to be realistic"

"I have utmost faith in Alex Piper and you should to, she's going to be fine"

Piper not wanting to talk about the cancer anymore gestured to the pocket watch that adorned her father's waistcoat.

"Do you like it then?"

Bill looked down confusedly until he saw what Piper was gesturing to. He plucked the watch into his grasp and studied it closely.

"It's beautiful, it must have cost Alex a fortune, she really shouldn't have"

"Well even if it did it doesn't matter she was intent on making sure you had the perfect gift this year. I don't think you will ever know how grateful we both are for what you have done for us"

Bill's eyes became slightly misty and Piper felt her own eyes water with the rush of love that washed over her for her father.

"I did what I had to do Piper nothing more nothing less and look" Bill gestured to Alex and Piper tightened her arms that were wrapped around her other half and pressed a kiss to her dark locks "It was worth every penny"


	25. Chapter 25

**A.N I cannot believe it's been over a month since I updated the time has just run away with me, preparations for Christmas then New Year devoured my writing time but today I have sat down and forced myself to finish this chapter. I apologise for the wait I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you all had a lovely festive period and best wishes to everyone for the New Year!**

"Nurse Stevens? Hi how are you!"

Piper practically beamed as the familiar woman turned with confusion in her eyes before she relaxed into a welcoming smile as Piper pulled the smiling nurse into a quick embrace.

"Piper! Hi! I'm fine thank you but I don't quite know whether I should be pleased to see you or not?"

Piper chuckled "Nothing awful this time I promise we're here for Alex's radiotherapy. This is the second week of treatment and the third appointment so while she's otherwise engaged I'm just loitering until she's finished. I was beginning to get a bit restless so I thought I'd nip up and see if you were here"

Piper gestured around to the ward that was unfortunately so familiar to her. When she had first pushed her way through the heavy double doors a cold shiver had passed over her and for a moment she had struggled to tamper down the overwhelming sensation of fear that had built instantly in her stomach as her mind was assaulted with the recent memories of what both she and Alex had endured. It had taken a couple of deep steadying breaths before she could bring herself to head over to the nurses station to seek out the particular person she was looking for.

"I'm actually just about to go on my break Piper would you like to come and grab a coffee with me?"

Piper smiled and nodded eagerly and they made their way in comfortable silence to what Piper presumed was the nurses break room. She smiled and nodded at a few other familiar faces before they settled themselves down into a couple of worn armchairs overlooking the hospital grounds with hot plastic coffee cups in their hands.

"So how's Alex's treatment coming along?"

"Better than I imagined"

This was the honest truth the radiotherapy, although gruelling, was not as scary as Piper had initially thought. The build up to the first round had been fraught with worry and tension but Alex had been completely calm trying to ease Piper's nerves by explaining in detail exactly what the process involved and the side effects that she would possibly experience. No matter how many times Alex tried to reassure her Piper had not been able to tamper down her fear but Alex's descriptions had been accurate and Piper had been relieved to realise that Alex had been correct in her assumptions as to what to expect.

"Has she struggled with any side affects?"

Piper shook her head "Not really the only thing that Alex has really experienced is crippling tiredness after the radiotherapy has been administered in tends to wipe her out for the rest of the day. Luckily she hasn't experienced any hair loss and I know this is the thing she was most concerned about"

Nurse Stevens nodded "It's the most common reaction to cancer treatment especially in woman"

"She has to come everyday for the next 3 weeks then fingers crossed that will be it" Piper smiled hesitantly over the rim of her cup and she was grateful for the warm hand that squeezed her own gently.

"Well I'm praying for you both Piper if anybody deserves happiness its you and Alex especially after everything you have endured"

Piper took a long sip of her coffee and looked out of the window to the grounds outside she didn't really know how to respond to the kind words given to her it made her feel rather bashful.

"I presume Alex's physiotherapy has been placed on hold for the time being?"

"Yes until she's finished this course she's not to attend as you can imagine there was quite an argument over it but I think Alex is secretly relieved now after how tired she has been feeling afterwards"

Nurse Stevens started to laugh "She was one of the more stubborn patients I have ever encountered" Nurse Stevens raised her eyebrows at Piper grinning "But then again I recall you not being much better"

Piper smiled guiltily "I know I can imagine you were incredibly glad to see the back of us both"

"I haven't missed arguing with the powers that be about your sleeping arrangements I must admit. If I had had to endure the same argument of hospital policy and health and safety one more time I think I would have screamed"

Their talk moved to happier topics Piper asked about Nurse Steven's wife and she had laughed at the nurse's face when she had told her that no she had not made any wedding plans and no she did not see a wedding on the horizon anytime soon.

"I have noticed that ring on your finger though I don't think it's possible to miss it. Someone is proving to the world that you belong to her"

Piper chuckled and she held her hand out flexing her ring finger causing the diamond to shine brightly "It was my belated Christmas gift I still cannot get over how beautiful it is"

"I agree it must have cost your Alex a fortune"

"She won't tell me what she paid for it even though I have tried to wheedle it out of her. Alex has always spoilt me even though I have told her all I've ever needed is her to love me"

"What does Alex do? I know we discussed your job at length when you were visiting here considering I am such a fan of your books but I don't think you ever mentioned Alex's job"

"She imports items for a finders price, you name it she can find it. Alex has a real talent for it, she always has done ever since the first time we met"

Piper laughed internally to herself at her words she wasn't about to tell Nurse Stevens her love's drug smuggling past but it still amused her at times that Alex's past heroin importing had actually managed to pass over to provide such a lucrative legal job.

"Wow very interesting I suppose it's a handy job to have what with the illness I suppose she's not had to face the hardship of going on sick leave"

Piper's phone buzzed in her pocket and she looked apologetically to Nurse Stevens before she glanced at the text message that had appeared on her screen.

"Alex is finished for today I'm going to have to go but it's been lovely to see you again"

They quickly finished their coffees before Piper stood and embraced the Nurse she had come to think of as a friend.

"Don't be a stranger Piper you are quite welcome to pop up and see me anytime, you and Alex"

Piper nodded warmly and they said their goodbyes before Piper made her way back towards the radiography unit. When she arrived in the reception area she smiled as she noticed Alex was already sat waiting for her on a particularly uncomfortable looking chair.

"You ready to go love?"

Alex nodded at her tiredly and Piper helped her stand before handing Alex her crutch. Piper wrapped one arm around Alex's waist firmly and they made their way slowly to the carpark the winter sun's weak rays warming her face as they stepped outside.

"How did it go?"

"Fine next appointment is Monday so I have a few days to recover thank God"

Piper nodded as she took out her car keys once Alex was firmly settled in the front seat comfortably Piper began the short journey from the hospital back to Piper's apartment. Once they had arrived back in their safe haven Piper turned to Alex her car keys still in her hand.

"Will you be alright while I nip out for a few hours?"

Alex's face darkened slightly and Piper winced she hadn't mentioned to Alex that she had an appointment that she needed to attend having completely forgotten about it until Alex was already in the treatment room.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a meeting with my publishers they want to discuss my newest amended draft of the third novel. Hopefully I shouldn't be too long they didn't really say what it was they needed to talk about"

Piper held her breath but Alex didn't put up a fight she just nodded tiredly and made her way slowly to the bedroom. Piper moved forwards to help her but she was stopped in her tracks by Alex's raised hand.

"Don't Piper I'm perfectly capable of moving from here to the bed without you fucking hovering"

Piper tampered down the urge to retaliate instead she bit her cheek and just nodded "Ok I'll see you later ring me if you need anything and I'll come straight back"

Alex just waved at her dismissively and Piper knew she was angry but she didn't have time to argue now she was already running late. Deciding to let her frustration go for now Piper waited until the bedroom door had closed with a resounding bang before she headed back out of the door hoping that this meeting passed quickly otherwise she was going to be in for a difficult evening.

* * *

"I understand that this is a lot to take in Miss Chapman but I really think you should consider this offer. There is a real demand for you and with this draft almost ready for print we think it would really help sales if you did a short promotional tour just across a few states"

Piper could barely take in the information she was being given. The meeting had taken an unexpected turn thinking she was just discussing her third book release date she had been shocked to hear how much demand there was for this instalment. Although she knew her books were selling well she had no idea the level of popularity that there currently was. When Alex had left her she had thrown herself into her work as soon as her brain had recovered enough to function but since they had reconciled her writing had taken a back seat and she had not taken any interest as to how well her books had been selling or how popular they had become.

"Since your first book was listed in The Times recommendation list sales have rocketed and people are clamouring to know more about the author behind the stories. It would help the sales revenue if you made a couple of appearances at book signings and maybe undertook a few interviews"

"I never realised I would have to do promotions that was never my intention when I stated to write"

The man sat in front of her sighed heavily and Piper knew he was frustrated at her lack of enthusiasm "Miss Chapman opportunities like this do not come around often this could potentially make both you and us a lot of money"

"Ah so that's why you are so keen for me to agree"

His face coloured slightly and Piper felt a small thrill pass through her knowing she had hit upon the route of his frustration.

"Why are you so reluctant, most authors would jump at this opportunity?"

Piper scowled slightly at his impertinence but she kept her tone even "My fiancée is currently enduring radiotherapy treatment for a cancerous brain tumour and I am not leaving her while I gallivant around the country chit chatting to members of the public"

"I'm sure she wouldn't want to be the reason you turned down such a lucrative deal"

Piper's scowl deepened her temper beginning to bubble up deep within her "Do not speak as if she is holding me back the whole reason I began writing in the first place was due to her support and encouragement. I would be nothing without her and I refuse to leave her at a time when I need to be by her side"

The man held up his hands conceding defeat "Well I still think you should consider what you are being offered carefully. Why don't you go home speak to your fiancée and give me a call in a few days and let me know your thoughts?"

Piper already knew what her answer would be but she couldn't be bothered wasting anymore time arguing. Instead she nodded humouring the man for now and she watched as his body visibly relaxed "Excellent if you could let me have an answer within, let's say a week then I can start to plan the release date etcetera if you agree we could literally have your first interview within a matter of weeks"

Piper nodded and shook his hand before she made her way to her car her brain buzzing with thoughts. If this offer had come at any other time then Piper would have snatched it with both hands and not let go. She wasn't stupid she knew with promotion came more money and meeting and greeting would only help increase her profile. The offer unfortunately couldn't have come at a worse time for there was no way she was leaving Alex home alone while she travelled across States. Even if it was scheduled for after the radiotherapy Alex was still due to return to physio and Piper wanted to be physically present. To her it would be breaking the promise she had made to stay by Alex's side. Putting the car in gear she shook herself mentally she would leave it a couple of days then contact the publisher and politely decline. If it affected the sales and her popularity then so be it Alex was more important than either of those things. Her mind made up Piper set off home trying to ignore the slight sinking feeling that had appeared deep within her stomach at the decision she had just made.

* * *

"Are you going to carry on ignoring me for the rest of the evening or are you actually going to acknowledge my presence at some point"

The stony silence was driving Piper up the wall ever since she had returned home she had been given the silent treatment and it was beginning to grate on her nerves. Still receiving no response Piper stalked into the kitchen and began loudly putting the washing up away slamming and banging the cupboard doors as she did so.

"For fucks sake Piper pack it in I've got a fucking headache"

"Getting a reaction from you though isn't it?!"

Piper slammed the last drawer shut and turned to look at Alex who was scowling fiercely as she glared at her with fire in her eyes.

"You're like a fucking child"

"No you're the child Alex! I left for an appointment with my publisher for Christ's sake you would think I had done something unforgivable the way you have been behaving"

"Didn't tell me you were going though did you? For all I know you could have been anywhere with anyone a little heads up in the future would be nice unless of course you are hiding something?"

Piper let out a humourless bark of laughter and she shook her head in disbelief.

"It slipped my mind because it didn't seem important I don't know if you've realised but I have had other things to think about"

"Yeah sure try and place the blame on me. You weren't so fucking preoccupied that you couldn't leave me this afternoon were you? What the fuck Pipes I've had a fucking radiation beam burnt into my brain and you just buggered off with a 'Oh sorry I'll see you later'!"

"You didn't seem bothered when I said I had to go"

Alex scoffed and turned her head so that she wasn't looking directly at her anymore and Piper could feel the anger building as her frustration took hold. She couldn't quite believe they were arguing over something so futile.

"Didn't have much of a choice did I? You hardly offered the option that you would have stayed if I hadn't wanted you to go"

"I tried to make sure you were alright with me leaving and when I tried to help you, you told me to fuck off!"

"Because you were doing what, at the moment, you do best and fucking hovering! I'm not a child I don't need you to be constantly watching, like I can't do the simplest things for myself"

Piper ran a hand agitatedly through her hair and leant forwards onto the kitchen worktop.

"Well then if you are fed up with me caring, oh sorry hovering, why are you so angry over the fact that I went out for a couple of hours?"

The anger seemed to drain from Alex's face and she dragged a hand through her hair a loud sigh leaving her lips.

"I'm just fucking pissed Pipes"

Piper watched as Alex began to fidget her hand worrying at the edge of the worn tee she was currently wearing. Forcing her frustration away Piper felt a wave of tiredness wash over her and she made her way over to the couch slowly not sure whether her presence would be accepted. When Alex remained silent Piper sat down heavily and let her head fall backwards a loud sigh leaving her own lips as she did. She jumped slightly as Alex's fingers brushed against her own but she allowed the contact, wrapping her hand loosely around her love's long slender digits.

"Are you ok?"

Piper made sure to keep her tone neutral for fear of sounding patronising she was pleased when Alex sighed but did not snap at her in reply.

"I'm just fed up Piper, I'm fed up of being ill I just want to be able to live normally and it's getting me down"

Piper could hear the weariness in Alex's voice and she wished she could take it all away share the physical burden of this shitty illness that was obviously causing Alex more distress than she had thought.

"You can't keep taking it out on me its not fair Al I know its frustrating but I'm only trying to help"

Alex let out a deep breath and squeezed Piper's fingers tightly in her grasp and she turned to look at her a gentle smile across her features which Piper hesitantly returned.

"I know Kid and I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all of it. I just get so angry and I'm lashing out"

Piper nodded accepting her apologies she knew how hard this was for Alex who was usually so strong and independent and she didn't want them to fall out over something which seemed so petty.

"We need to find another way to vent your frustrations"

Piper let her tone turn flirty and she raised an eyebrow smirking coyly as she fluttered her eyelashes in Alex's direction. Alex groaned wantonly in reply but she shook her head looking frustrated "I'm so knackered Kid I don't think I could even begin to fuck you properly"

Piper shook her head slowly before she stood up so that she was standing in front of Alex's curious gaze. Moving confidently she climbed up onto the couch and pressed her weight down firmly into Alex's lap her knees resting on the couch cushions Alex's legs pinned between her thighs.

"I never said anything about you fucking me"

Piper made sure to whisper her words into Alex's ear, her tongue reaching out to caress Alex's earlobe causing her dark haired lover to shiver, her hands coming to rest on Piper's hip bones. Piper began to rock her hips slightly her earlier frustration giving way to the burning urge to fuck the woman pinned underneath her. Piper nipped and sucked at Alex's ear and neck loving the breathy pants her actions pulled from Alex's body. When she bit down on Alex's pulse point Alex jumped slightly a quiet moan leaving her lips and Piper smirked.

"You're such a little tease"

"And yet you love me for it"

Alex pulled on her hips tightly increasing the friction between them and Piper began to rock harder. She let her hands trail down Alex's shoulders to her breasts smirking as her fingers came into contact with the hardened peaks through the thin material of Alex's t shirt. Leaning back slightly she watched as Alex's face slowly began to flush as she flicked and pinched at her sensitive nipples her body beginning to strain forward and Piper chuckled before removing her hands.

"See ... fucking tease"

"I'm not denying it my dear just as your body can't deny how much you love it"

Piper ran her fingers gently down Alex's vest clad torso before slipping them past the waist band of her pants letting out a feral grin when her finger tips met the moist heat she craved so much. Piper stroked one finger across Alex's clit, coaching it out of hiding rubbing with the barest hint of friction, watching keenly as Alex's hips began to arch up and her breathing faltered. Piper knew Alex was struggling not cave in to her desire but it was a losing battle and Piper knew it when Alex's arms began to tighten their hold around her pulling her closer into Alex's body increasing the pressure between them.

"Is this satisfying you Al? Or do you need more?"

"More..."

Piper pulled her hand away ignoring the look of outrage that crossed Alex's face before she crashed their lips together their tongues meeting each other eagerly.

"What would you like more my mouth or my fingers?"

Alex groaned at the heated words Piper whispered on to her lips and Piper felt Alex's hips buck against her own.

"Fuck ... Mouth"

Piper smirked wickedly she knew that was going to be the answer, nothing made Alex cum quite like her tongue, and she was instantly willing to comply. Moving swiftly downwards coming to kneel on the wooden floor she pulled Alex's thin yoga pants from down her gorgeous long legs and threw them over her shoulder not caring where they landed. Running her hands up Alex's soft skin she grasped her knees gently and prised her legs apart pulling Alex forwards so that she was settled comfortably between Alex's thighs.

"That all for me?"

Alex was ready her core glistening with her arousal and Piper watched as her love winked at her before smirking cockily "Nah I've been thinking about Nichols"

Piper traced one finger gently down Alex's wet slit barely applying any pressure causing Alex's breath to hitch and her hips to strain.

"You can get yourself off then to thoughts of Nicky"

Piper pulled her hand away and made to get up from the floor but she was stopped as Alex's right leg wrapped around her tightly pinning her against the couch between her thighs.

"Don't you dare move. I believe I told you I wanted your mouth now fucking use it"

Piper swallowed down the loud moan that threatened to break out at Alex's words, dominant Alex was unbelievably sexy, and her body shuddered with want her own sex throbbing in response.

Allowing Alex the control Piper did as she was told and she leant forwards placing soft open mouthed kisses to Alex's left thigh all the while feeling her own muscles clenching in anticipation as she neared her intended destination. As she came closer Piper skipped over where she knew Alex wanted her the most instead she raised the edge of her top and pressed a soft kiss to Alex's mound. This close she could smell Alex's arousal and she automatically licked her lips and raised her eyes so that she had a clear view of Alex's gorgeous face.

"Touch me Piper I'm gagging for you"

Those words spoken with that husky voice of pure sex spurred Piper into action and she flattened her tongue licking from Alex's already sopping entrance all the way to her now protruding clit. Alex's thighs shook and twitched at the action as her head rolled back and Piper threw one leg over her shoulder and tightened her arms around the strong muscles.

"Fuck... You taste so good"

Piper repeated the motion over and over gathering Alex's arousal in her mouth her eyes almost rolling back in pleasure at the taste that was purely Alex. Alex's body was shaking gasps and moans falling from her open mouth. One of Alex's hands moved to clench hard onto the back of the couch the other coming to rest roughly on the back of Piper's head her fingers tangling into her hair.

"I can't get enough of you, I'm going to make you cum so fucking hard Al my face will be fucking dripping"

Alex moaned loudly and Piper knew her words were only turning Alex on more she always had enjoyed it when Piper swore in bed.

"Hmmm yes Piper ... fuck me with that dirty mouth"

Piper could feel her own arousal beginning to pool into her underwear leaving her feeling damp and uncomfortably turned on but she resisted the urge to touch herself instead concentrating hard on bringing Alex to the edge.

Piper nipped and sucked at Alex's pussy lips over and over bringing Alex closer to the point of release loving the keening sounds that echoed into the room. Knowing Alex was getting close she inched upwards and wrapped her lips around Alex's protruding clit nibbling and sucking hard at the throbbing hot flesh.

"Fuck ... Pipes... Yes"

Alex's grip on the back of her head had tightened holding her against her firmly and Piper knew it would not take much to cause Alex to fall apart underneath her. Circling her tongue over her clit roughly Piper let go of Alex's leg with one hand and thrust two fingers deep inside Alex's soaking entrance not hesitating for a moment as she fucked Alex harshly. Alex's body arched upwards violently and Piper struggled to hold her down while continuing to thrust both her fingers and her tongue at the same time.

"Pi..Pipes fuck ... right ...there"

Piper curled her fingers and thrust hard against Alex's g-spot once, twice as Alex's walls began to clench and spasm her orgasm approaching swiftly her hips beginning to jerk hard.

"Yes Piper yes, yes, fuck, fuck"

Alex's body arched violently as Piper did one final thrust her inner walls clenching hard as she struggled to ride out the waves of her orgasm. Piper slowly removed her fingers but replaced them with her mouth tracing her tongue down from Alex's clit to her dripping entrance as she lapped up the evidence of her lover's orgasm. She continued until Alex began to squirm restlessly and she allowed herself to be pulled up into Alex's warm embrace straddling her thighs their lips automatically coming to meet.

Piper moaned into the kiss as Alex quickly unbuttoned her jeans and shoved a hand roughly into her soaked underwear pressing hard on her aching clit. Piper's head lolled back as she felt her pussy walls clench in anticipation and she clutched at Alex's shoulders desperately to anchor herself.

"Harder, fuck Al harder"

Alex increased the pressure rubbing harshly back and forth while she nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin of her neck and Piper cried out as her own orgasm hit almost instantly. As she whimpered and gasped she felt almost embarrassed at how quickly it had taken hold of her.

"Yes Alex..."

Piper clutched tight hold of Alex as her body jerked and shuddered riding out every wave of pleasure until her limbs relaxed and she fell into Alex's strong embrace as her sated body settled against her better half.

"Well that certainly had the desired effect"

Piper chuckled weakly "Do you feel better?"

"God do I"

Alex pressed a kiss to her head and Piper smiled nuzzling her nose into Alex's clammy neck.

"Well at least we know now how to deal with any future frustration. Although next time we need to make it to the bed I'm going to have to wipe down the couch later, it's a bloody good job it's leather"

Alex laughed loudly and Piper joined in heartily enjoying the moment of pure post sex bliss glad that the demons that threatened to overcome her love had been pushed back for now.

 **A.N If anyone's still reading I would love to hear your thoughts :) ...**


	26. Chapter 26

**A.N 300 reviews! (Squeals) A simple thanks just doesn't seem enough I have been honestly taken aback by the response to this fic and I'm glad you have all stuck with me after my delay in posting the last chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!**

Piper weaved her way through the throng of people that had gathered in the doorway of the coffee shop getting more and more irritable as she struggled to push past the hoards of shopping bags that everyone seemed to be carrying. The January sales were still in full force and Piper wondered how there were still bargains to be had three weeks into the new year. Looking around exasperated she was pleased when she caught sight of a familiar bushy mane relieved Nicky had already managed to find a table. 20 minutes later Piper fell into the chair across from her friend letting out a loud sigh of relief.

"I cannot believe it's so busy!"

Nicky chuckled and rolled her eyes and Piper just knew she was laughing at her dramatics.

"Yeah well this place serves the best coffee in New York what do you expect?"

Piper shrugged irritable and took a sip of her hot coffee almost groaning at the heady taste, Nicky was right this coffee was fantastic. This was what she needed after a couple of sleepless nights and she hoped the double shot of espresso in her drink would help keep the tiredness at bay that had been threatening to overcome her.

"So what's new Chapman? I spoke to Vause yesterday she says the radiation therapy is coming along nicely"

Piper nodded her head "It is, she's back at the hospital tomorrow to start the third week then just two more week long sessions and then hopefully that's it"

"That's fuckin' brilliant. Sometimes I wonder if she's telling me the truth when I ask, you know as well as anybody what she's like for not divulging the full details"

Piper tutted "Do I, but no this time she's being totally honest it really is going well and fingers crossed she'll get the good news she deserves in a few short weeks"

Nicky took a mouthful of her coffee before she fixed her gaze onto Piper her stare unflinching and Piper found herself looking back curiously. Her finger subconsciously rose up to touch at the skin under her eyes and she wondered whether her makeup had successfully covered the black bags that had been prominent in the mirror that morning.

"What?"

"I'm not sure you tell me"

Piper laughed nervously "I don't know what you mean"

"Cut the bullshit Chapman you seem out of sorts, I don't really know how to describe it, stressed, worried? All I know is it didn't shift when you spoke of Alex which makes me think something else is bothering you"

Piper just stared at Nicky gobsmacked, her friend was so intuitive that it was borderline frightening how well she could read her emotions. Deciding not to try and attempt to brush Nicky off after her keen observation Piper settled her gaze back to the coffee cup in front of her and slouched back into her chair.

"I've been given an offer by my publishing company to go on a promotions tour. It's just a few book signings of the meet and greet variety, interviews, that sort of thing but they really think it will help increase sales"

Nicky's face broke into a hesitant smile "Surely that's news to be happy about? It proves how popular you are becoming as a writer if they are willing to push you for these things"

"It's flattering yes and I'm pleased people seem to like my stories I really am but it's not really my thing so I've decided to tell them no"

"Well then if you are so certain in your decision why do you seem so out of sorts?"

Piper just shrugged and carried on drinking her now cooling coffee avoiding Nicky's gaze.

"It has just been a more difficult thought process than I anticipated that's all and I've been having trouble sleeping these last couple of days which hasn't helped"

Nicky scrutinised her for a few more moments before her expression relaxed a look of pity crossing her features. Piper did not like the look on her friends face and her tone, when she spoke, was one of warning.

"Nicky..."

"If Alex was fighting fit-"

"But she isn't is she Nic so don't even go there she's battling a serious illness and I am not leaving her on her own"

"You wouldn't have to I could always step in you know I would"

"Alex would feel like she was being babysat there's no way she would agree and anyway I don't want to go so there's no need for you to even offer"

"Have you spoken to her about it?"

Piper shook her head suddenly feeling guilty she knew exactly what Nicky was going to think about that particular action.

"Well then you're stupid. You need to tell her what you've been offered and talk it through I think you'll feel better if you do"

Piper didn't think it would make her feel any better but she nodded anyway not having the much needed energy to argue.

"You never know she might encourage you to go for it"

"Yes but that's what I don't want, I don't want her to think that she's denying me this opportunity. I'm just torn I suppose, I want to stay with Alex, I truly do, but at the same time there's a small part of me that's disappointed that this offer may not come up again and I feel like I'm losing out"

"I can see your point Chapman but you still need to discuss it with her. This is your fiancée we're talking about and you would be furious if this was the other way round and you were the one being kept out of the loop"

This made Piper stop for a moment. There was absolute truth in Nicky's words if this was Alex being offered this opportunity she would be livid if she turned it down before discussing it first. Having this pointed out to her was slightly embarrassing and and she cursed her own silliness as she smiled at Nicky sheepishly.

"Have you thought about a career as an agony aunt or marriage counsellor? You do a fantastic job of making me realise when I'm being an idiot in my own relationship"

"Yeah but you and Vause give me enough drama thanks I don't think I could cope with anyone else's. Although I might just start charging you I reckon I could make enough to live"

Piper laughed she really did love Nicky she was a good friend to have and it was great how she seemed to know exactly what to say to make her feel better.

"How are things for you anyway Nic I feel like every time we meet we only talk about me and my latest drama"

"That's because of how self centred you are Chapman I've come to expect it's all you, you, you"

Piper threw her napkin as Nicky laughed raucously at her own teasing drawing a few curious glances from their fellow diners. Nicky did not respond even after her laughing fit had calmed and Piper raised one eyebrow.

"Hey I have given you a chance to speak and you clam up is it any wonder we only talk about me!"

Nicky just chuckled quietly before shaking her head slightly and Piper narrowed her eyes.

"Come on spill there must be something"

"Well I'm finally moving out of The Pavillion my mother has lovingly paid for me a new flat which I'm trying to be grateful for but with her constant put downs she isn't making it easy"

"Oh brilliant where?"

They talked about Nicky's flat and her mother Piper getting fully caught up on the happenings in her friends life before Nicky announced she needed to leave for an appointment. Piper pulled on her coat and picked up her bag and they made there way out onto the busy street. Piper pulled Nicky in for a hug and planted a kiss to her cheek chuckling as Nicky grumbled.

"Well I'll see you soon I suppose?"

"Yeah I'll be seeing you Chapman don't you worry"

Piper smiled and as she watched as Nicky waved and turned to cross the street. As she made to leave heading back up the street towards where she had parked her car she stopped dead in her tracks as Nicky shouted to her as she crossed the busy road.

"Oh and Chapman Lorna's being released so there's some news for you!"

* * *

"Never!"

Piper laughed at the look of complete shock across Alex's face and she nodded eagerly.

"Yep that's was the last thing she shouted to me as she left! The little shit, I've text her but she's not for telling me anything else. I'm half tempted to write to Lorna but I don't know whether she'll receive it in time"

Alex just laughed and shook her head but she was smiling widely "God I hope they get back together Nichols always was head over heels for Morello they'll be good for each other. I think Nicky has struggled since she has been released I know she's being shagging around but I don't think she has been finding it that fulfilling"

Piper rolled her eyes at Alex's choice in words before she had a thought and a smile spread across her face.

"Oh I hope so just think we could go on double dates!"

Piper beamed at Alex winking and she chuckled as Alex rolled her eyes in reply "We don't need to do any of that dating crap now you're wearing that rock. We're practically wifey's now aren't we Kid I don't need to impress you anymore"

"Excuse me I still expect to be taken on dates Ms Vause don't think you can get out of that"

Alex just laughed and Piper knew she was teasing. It had been a lovely evening Alex was feeling better after having the last couple of days to recuperate with no hospital appointments and Piper had relished their time together. They had just finished eating one of Piper's favourite meals which was Alex's spaghetti bolognaise and she felt full and content with a stomach full of good wholesome food. She groaned as she stretched out across the couch a glass of red wine held in one hand as she popped the button on jeans with the other.

"I swear I've never felt so full"

"You say that every time I cook"

Piper groaned theatrically "Well you make such good food I just can't help but gorge on it ... I should be so fat"

Alex came over from the kitchen her crutch clicking on the hard wood floor and sat down letting Piper rest her feet in her lap a fresh beer in her own hand and Piper almost laughed at how Alex had seemingly gotten used to the non alcoholic version of her favourite drink.

"I'll help you burn those calories later Kid"

The look on Alex's face and her flirty tone made Piper smile coyly in return but her urge was tampered slightly by the conversation she knew she was putting off.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

Alex adjusted her long body so that she was turned towards Piper, her face was expectant one eyebrow raised but she was smirking and Piper looked at her curious as to why she was grinning.

"This sounds serious, are you leaving me for Nichols?"

Alex laughed at her own joke and Piper shoved her playfully with her feet causing Alex to squirm as she prodded her ribs.

"You are such an arse why do I put up with you again?"

"Because I make you awesome food, give you earth shattering orgasms and put up with your need to fill the fridge with organic shite that no one else cares about but you AND I even use it in my cooking. That Kid is devotion right there"

Alex looked at her seriously daring her to reply but Piper just laughed loudly agreeing with Alex's statement whole heartedly.

"Go on then Kid what is it?"

Piper felt the smile recede from her lips and she played nervously with the stem of her wine glass.

"Pipes?"

"When I went to see my publisher they offered me the opportunity to do a promotion tour apparently the first two books have become really popular and they think it will help increase sales expectation for the third. It's so weird, apparently there's quite a demand for me to make public appearances"

"That's brilliant Piper!"

Alex's face broke out into a proud smile, she reached out her hand taking Piper's fingers and entwining them with her own giving a firm squeeze.

"I'm so proud of you, but why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm going to turn it down"

Alex's face went from smiling to confused and Piper averted her eyes to their joined hands.

"Why?"

"It's not really my thing I never thought my books would become such a big deal that people would actually want to meet the author. I just don't think I fancy doing it"

Alex reached across with her other hand and cupped Piper's chin with her warm hand. It caused Piper to let out a sigh before she forced herself to meet Alex's kind gentle face.

"I know you too well for half hearted excuses Kid, what's the real reason?"

Piper sat up and moved so that she was tucked in close to Alex's warm body. One of her long arms wrapped instantly around her shoulders and Piper sighed her body instantly felt more relaxed at the familiar contact.

"I don't want to travel"

"Because you don't want to leave me"

Piper's body tensed but she nodded, her head sliding against Alex's cheek gently.

"If it was any other time then maybe but I'm not leaving New York without you and at the moment it isn't possible to take you with me"

"Piper..."

Alex's tone was irritated almost angry and instantly Piper knew what was running through Alex's head sitting up quickly she placed a hand to Alex's cheek so that she could look into her eyes.

"No before you start it's not because I think you can't cope on your own ok? Thats not it at all"

Alex still looked irked and Piper continued quickly.

"It isn't, I don't want to leave because I made a promise that I would be by your side through this whole process and I'll be damned if I break that promise Al"

Alex's eyes softened with understanding and Piper was relieved that she was at least making some sense with her ramblings.

"I don't want to be in another state sat in a hotel room wishing I was back home with you. After I thought it through I realised that yes it would be a fantastic opportunity but it would be marred by me wanting to be here"

Piper smiled gently as Alex suddenly looked at her curiously her eyes narrowed "Is this what has been giving you sleepless nights?"

Piper nodded meekly she should have known that Alex would know that she hadn't been sleeping properly and she suddenly felt more of a fool for keeping this to herself for the last few days. Nicky was right she was already feeling less stressed now that she wasn't hiding her worries from her love.

"I'm holding you back Kid"

Piper scowled at Alex crossly her tone forceful "No, no you're not"

Alex sighed heavily "If I wasn't ill you would go"

"But you are and that's just life. If the roles were reversed, if it was me having the radiotherapy, would you want to leave me on my own while you went travelling to only God knows where?"

Alex shook her head although Piper could tell it was done reluctantly.

"No you know I wouldn't but this is a big deal Pipes"

"I know it is but It's just bad timing that's all maybe I'll get another chance, maybe I won't but what I won't get is another chance at being by your side while you finish your treatment and that means more to me than any book deal"

Alex reached her arms out and Piper accepted her hug eagerly tucking her head into her favourite spot the crook of Alex's neck.

"Sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve you"

Piper just shook her head as best she could "Yeah well I think exactly the same way sometimes I feel like I must have been Florence Nightingale in a previous life to have been given you as my other half"

Alex burst out laughing and Piper nudged her playfully feeling her cheeks blush with embarrassment.

"Sometimes Pipes you come out with the sappiest shit... See that's another thing you can add to that list of why you put up with me I tolerate your romantic mushiness with only a hint teasing"

Piper tried hard to look offended but she couldn't and she too started to giggle.

"Are you honestly happy with staying here, turning down your publishers offer? It'll mean more money Kid and a chance to travel and meet your fans"

Piper lifted her head and looked at Alex seriously her earlier frustrations fading away. Yes she was giving up a fantastic chance that she might never get again but at the same time nothing in her life was as important to her as the woman who was sat looking at her so seriously, willing to put aside her own wishes for Piper's. Her earlier turmoil had gone in three weeks Alex may get the all clear or it could be news that would be devastating. No Piper definitely did not want to be away from her love not at this crucial time.

"Yes I'm sure"

Piper pressed her lips to Alex's fiercely trying to convey the certainty in which she had made her decision. Piper lay her head back down pressing a kiss to the soft skin of Alex's neck and her love ran a soothing hand up and down her back in reply as they sat there content in the silence.

"Why don't you ask them for more time?"

Piper sat up frowning, she thought the conversation was finished, but Alex held a hand up and she waited patiently for Alex to continue.

"I should have the results of my treatment in 3 weeks why don't you ask them to postpone it until then? That way yes I know you're still away from home but without the worry of how I'm coping without you"

Piper scowled at Alex's choice in words, it wasn't her coping she would be worried about she would just simply miss her, but she fought the urge to scold. Instead she mulled the idea over within her head it was a good point but there was one potential problem that she didn't really want to admit out loud.

"You don't look keen"

"What if the results aren't positive?"

The words were whispered laden with Piper could only describe as a mixture of fear and guilt. She really didn't want to linger on the idea that they could receive anything other than positive news but she was trying to be realistic.

"I wouldn't be able to cancel and there is no way, no fucking way I could leave with the knowledge that I would be wasting the precious time we have together"

Alex's face became pained as Piper spoke, her own strong facade crumbling for a moment and as Piper saw real raw fear flash across Alex's features she wished she could take back the words she had hesitantly uttered aloud.

"I don't know Kid"

"I'm sorry Al"

Piper reached for Alex's hand that wasn't fidgeting at the couch cushion holding it tightly in her grasp. The weight of the conversation automatically forcing her body to seek physical reassurance.

"Don't be you're being realistic and yes if it turns out not to be a positive outcome then I don't think I could let you leave me even if I tried which sounds so terribly selfish"

Piper pressed a kiss to the hand in her own "No it doesn't. I'm going to call them tomorrow and tell them my answer is still no and that's the end of it"

"Life just doesn't seem fair sometimes does it?"

Piper laughed but it sounded forced even to her own ears "There have been worse things that we've had to deal with that have been unfair Alex. I think I can say that we've had to deal with more in life than most people"

"Do you think it's made us stronger? You know as a couple?"

Yes was Piper's instinctive response but she wasn't sure how to explain the reasoning behind it. As she thought of how to phrase what she meant she noticed Alex falter slightly although Piper noticed she tried hard to hide it.

"Yes I do but I'm not really certain how. From my point of view it's taught me to appreciate what I have more and not to be quite so selfish which I think has made our relationship better. I think it's made me realise how lucky I am to have you in my life, not everybody can say they have met their soul mate but now I truly believe, without a shadow of a doubt, you are mine"

Piper blushed as the words left her mouth and she shook her head softly "I know you think all that sort of stuff is bull shit for hopeless romantics"

Alex chuckled "True but it's nice to hear that you believe I'm the one for you"

"Oh and what about me? Do you not think I'm your one?"

"I'm keeping you onside until Scarlett Johansson becomes available so I reckon maybe you're my number two"

Alex laughed loudly and Piper pouted moodily secretly smiling when the action caused Alex to kiss her lovingly while cupping her cheeks in her warm hands.

"I'm only joking Kid ever since you walked into that bar all wide eyed and innocent, like a little urban Bambi just waiting to be corrupted, I've only ever seen myself with you"

Piper hummed contentedly deepening the kiss so that there tongues entwined together the familiar feeling of contentedness washing over her as she kissed Alex thoroughly.

"Do you want to watch a film? Or you can always pick a book and read to me?"

Piper fluttered her eyelashes and Alex groaned.

"No don't look at me like that put a film on I'm not reading out loud again I get sick of hearing my own voice!"

Piper laughed and she smiled guiltily she had been asking Alex to read to her most nights and Alex being Alex had given in to her pouting nine times out of ten reaching for the latest novel rolling her eyes as she did so.

"As long as it isn't any one of your bloody romantic comedies"

Piper huffed slightly as she now rolled her eyes "Well I'm not watching Kill Bill again I swear you have an unhealthy obsession with that film"

"It's not the film its Uma Thurman in PVC"

Piper mocked scowled and placed a hand to her chest "I already feel like my place as number 2 in your life is being threatened do I need to be concerned that another blonde is trying to muscle her way in?"

Alex laughed but then paused a contemplative look across her face "It depends... Would you be willing to wear a PVC catsuit?"

"Hmmm well you see that also depends"

Alex sat up and turned to her eagerly obviously pleased the notion had not been instantly disregarded.

"Oh, on what?

"On whether you would consider wearing one as well"

Alex seized forwards and kissed her hard one hand tangling into her hair and Piper groaned at the intensity of the kiss whimpering indignantly when Alex pulled back smirking wickedly.

"I think that's something I could manage"

Piper felt her body thrum in response, a burning heat growing between her thighs, as her imagination suddenly ran wild and the idea of watching a film was soon forgotten as she all but dragged Alex towards their bedroom.


	27. Chapter 27

**A.N I'm a little hesitant about this chapter especially once it reaches the 'M' rated part I think I was blushing from start to finish! However I hope you all enjoy it as much as you have enjoyed the previous 'sexy' times so to speak!**

"So Chapman's going then?"

Alex nodded proudly, her smile wide, eyes alight with glee "Yes I hijacked her meeting with her publisher, turned up half way through and told them she would love to accept their generous offer, not that Pipes was happy about it"

Nicky snorted "I can imagine there was some shouting?"

"She erupted actually Chapman temper came out in full force poor agent nearly shit himself but I just couldn't let her turn it down, it's an offer she won't get again. That publisher would have never given her the opportunity I'm convinced purely out of spite for her turning them down once"

Nicky just grinned "Bet they loved you!"

Alex gave a shit eating grin in response "Fuck yes they were ecstatic and even though Piper is still trying to pretend she's furious I know deep down she's excited she's just trying to hide it"

The last two days between them had been tense with Alex refusing to apologise as she genuinely believed there was no need to but her love was stubborn Piper was refusing to back down. There exchanges were polite and cordial but Alex knew Piper well enough to know when she was being given the cold shoulder and she hoped it would ease soon otherwise she was going to have to take matters into her own hands.

"So when does our little nark leave?"

"22nd February for two weeks"

Nicky and Alex were sat spread out on the couch in Alex's apartment Chinese takeaway containers littered the coffee table in front of them. Now that Alex was walking more steadily only needing to use one crutch Alex and Piper had made the decision to move back to Alex's beloved home. Piper had gone to see her parents, more specifically her father, to hand over her door key and update him on things that he would need to do before he could rent out the flat he had kindly let his daughter use for the best part of a year. Carol had insisted she stay for dinner and so Alex had received a reluctant text from Piper informing her she would not be returning until later that evening.

"You gonna be ok on your own?"

Alex scowled and Nicky held her arms up in surrender "Hey I'm just looking out for you, no need to get all defensive"

Alex rolled her eyes "I'll be fine the radiotherapy will have been finished for 10 days by then and hopefully fingers firmly fucking crossed I'll be given the all clear"

"When will you get your results?"

"The appointment with my specialist is booked in for the 20th I'm bloody hoping there's no unexpected delay"

Nicky laughed "Yeah me too your life won't be worth living if Piper ends up being on her little book tour waiting for the news"

Alex visibly flinched at the thought but she brushed it away there was no point worrying over something that might not happen.

"Have you thought about what will happen if it isn't the news we're all hoping for"

Nicky kept her gaze firmly averted as Alex nodded stiffly it was why Piper was so angry with her for pushing her to go on her tour.

"Yes and I still don't want her to miss this chance. If I have to travel with her I will she's not missing out on this because of me"

Alex wouldn't be deterred she had made up her mind if it wasn't positive news then she would travel with Piper, they could make it into their own little trip in the process see some sights and make some happy memories. Piper had softened slightly when Alex had offered this idea but not enough to forgive her completely. Shaking her head Alex reached across the table and picked up the last spring roll munching on it thoughtfully she turned to Nicky her face curious.

"So when's Lorna being released and more importantly were is she staying when she does?"

Nicky blushed, instantly becoming tomato red and Alex laughed loudly nudging Nicky's shoulder hard "You dirty dog! Are you planning on making up for lost time the moment she's stepped across the threshold"

"Fuck off Vause it's more than that"

"Aww Nichols you don't need to get all touchy I know Morello's your person and all that shit"

Alex smiled and she was pleased when Nicky's posture visibly relaxed her complexion calming to a mild shade of pink. She waited for the sarcastic retort she knew was coming when Nicky smirked back at her with one eyebrow raised.

"My person!? Fuckin' hell Vause Chapman has turned you into a right soft shit hasn't she?"

Alex just laughed not at all offended and she stood up one handedly clearing away their now finished with plates from the table. Nicky moved the containers to the bin and they settled back down with a bottle of beer each The Godfather playing quietly on the TV, Piper had insisted on buying, in the background.

"Lorna's being released in a week but she's going to her aunts first 'cause its her listed address. After four weeks she's free to move so I'm trying to convince her to come and stay with me while I have a spare room"

"Yeah because I'm sure that's were you want her staying"

Alex chuckled before she took a large swig of her beer. She watched closely as Nicky didn't smile and Alex knew she was more torn up about Lorna than she was letting on. Alex watched as Nicky's hands worried at her beer bottle tugging slightly at the label and she decided to drop the tormenting knowing it wasn't going to be appreciated anymore than it already was.

"Hey Nic don't worry about it I've seen the way Morello looks at you, you don't have anything to worry about"

Nicky sighed "Yeah but that was in prison in there everything's heightened, more intense because you have fuck all else, it's different being out here in the real world"

"Me and Pipes have done it"

"Yeah but you two had history it's different you once had a relationship out here you knew it would work"

Alex shook her head "Yeah we did and look how that turned out, went to shit and I was left behind while she found a fiancee and settled into suburban life. Trust me Nichols I understand your concerns I had the same ones myself but Morello does care for you and that's enough for you to work with you've just got to try"

Nicky looked at her curiously "How the fuck were you ever worried that Chapman wouldn't want you? That girl practically worships the ground you walk on"

Alex just shook her head "At one point it wasn't enough though and even without the drug business this time I was worried the normal happy life wouldn't turn out the way she had always hoped it would"

"How is it me and you are fuckin' whipped?"

Nicky shook her head in wonder and Alex laughed loudly slapping Nicky's thigh as she did.

"Straight girls they fuck you up every time!"

"Fucker! That is my line"

They both laughed hard and downed the rest of their beers Alex truly loved spending time with Nicky they were so alike it was scary and it was nice to have a true best friend something which she had never really had before she met the wild haired ex drug addict.

"Can I ask you something?"

Nicky nodded looking interested.

"What do you think about the whole marriage thing?"

"Fuckin' waste of time in my opinion people pay a stupidly extravagant amount of money just to say 'I do' and marriage is the most common cause for divorce so I just think leave it"

Nicky laughed at her own joke and then looked towards her her face expectant. As a look of realisation spread over Nicky's face and her smile widened in glee Alex felt her own cheeks blush she felt like an idiot now for bringing it up. Alex grabbed herself another beer from the pack and made a show of flicking the bottle cap into the bin without moving from the couch.

"You're thinking of wifing up Chapman aren't you!"

"Well after everything's she's done for me what with the cancer and everything it seems like a nice thing to do"

"You said it was a waste of time you've said yourself numerous times you don't believe in all that ceremonial crap"

Alex could feel herself getting irritated, annoyed that Nicky wasn't being more supportive.

"I don't but Piper does. I'm not saying for a second that I've suddenly become wedding advocate of the year but the only thing Piper truly wants is to be my wife how can I deny her that?"

Nicky shook her head "The only thing Piper wants in the world is you Stretch just trust me on that ok"

Bill Chapman's words from the hospital the day after she had awoken after her near fatality flashed in her mind, those same words Nicky had spoken, delivered just as seriously and she felt her body shiver with the memory.

"I know that, God do I know that, and I know she's happy just as we are she tells me everyday. I just wanted to do something just for her, to show her how much she means to me and I think that it would show her how much I truly love her.."

Alex's voice cracked slightly and she turned her face away from Nicky as the emotion welled up in her chest making her voice waiver with the intensity.

"Because I do Nic, I love her so fucking much"

Alex took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of herself a wave of embarrassment passed over her body when she realised just how honest she had been in that moment and she took a large mouthful of beer trying to appear unaffected.

"She has been a little trooper though all of this I must admit I've been surprised at how well she's coped. Chapman really has matured no more running away when shit gets real for her"

Alex chuckled slightly glad Nicky was willing to let her little emotional outburst go without her usual teasing.

"What's the plan then Vause?"

Alex looked at her curiously and Nicky rolled her eyes looking at her like she was stupid.

"Well if you wanna make an honest woman of Piper then we need to start planning!"

Alex grinned widely "Are you willing to help?"

"Well what kind of 'best man' would I be if I left you to do it alone! Now come on we've got about an hour 'til the 'love of your life' makes an appearance so let's get brainstorming!"

* * *

"Are you still mad at me?"

Alex's voice whispered down her ear as chaste kisses were placed along her neck and around her earlobe. Piper raised her eyebrow pausing in her task of brushing her teeth to watch Alex's smirking face in the bathroom mirror. Not turning her head Piper continued to watch Alex in the mirror in front of her not allowing her facade to crumble as Alex continued to nip and suck at her sensitive spot just under her ear.

"Come on Pipes I miss you"

Piper struggled hard against the shiver that was desperate to break out across her skin although she had calmed down a lot in the last couple of days she was still cross at Alex's inability to hold her tongue when it came to Piper making her own decisions. Ignoring her now pouting lover Piper continued her usual night time ritual of brushing her teeth and washing her face secretly loving the uncertainty that had flickered across Alex's features.

"What if I make it up to?"

Piper turned and stepped out of Alex's hold but she smirked as she raised both eyebrows in challenge.

"Oh and just how do you plan on doing that?"

Alex's shoulders relaxed and Piper knew she was relieved that she seemed more receptive. Alex moved swiftly forwards and captured Piper's lips in a searing kiss Piper allowed Alex to entwine their tongues, for a moment allowing her to dominate. Piper did not allow it for long she nipped and sucked at Alex's lips with more aggression than she would usually making sure Alex knew she had not been instantly forgiven.

"Give me 10 minutes then come into the bedroom"

Alex shot her a look of pure sex mixed with her signature cockiness and Piper felt her curiosity peak and her body become further aroused just at the sight. Sometimes it irked her the effect Alex had on her just her mere presence could have her weak at the knees but she reasoned that in a way she was lucky that Alex still had that effect on her even after all their years together even if it did allow Alex to get away with murder. Piper paced around the bathroom becoming steadily more and more impatient as her body thrummed with need and agitation. When she was certain the ten minutes had passed Piper strode from the ensuite into the bedroom and as her eyes eagerly drank in the sight in front of her she stopped dead in her tracks and stared open mouthed. Alex was stood at the end of the bed, one arm wrapped around the bed post holding herself firmly upright, completely naked apart from the black harness she was currently sporting around her hips.

"You like what you see?"

Piper could only nod in agreement her mouth to dry to form words and she slowly moved forwards until she was standing directly in front of her smirking lover. Her eyes ran the full length of Alex's body eagerly taking in every detail from Alex's full breasts to her taught stomach until she focused back on the leather harness her stomach flipping with want.

"You look so good"

Piper stretched her hands out and ran them across Alex's broad shoulders down to her breasts her fingers coming to rest on her nipples and she pinched softly before tugging sharply loving the way Alex's breath hitched and a low moan escaped from between her teeth. She continued to caress down her lovers body before she slipped her hand behind the leather strap and rubbed her fingers across Alex's slit the pads of her fingers rubbing softly. Alex allowed her to continue her teasing but only for a moment before her hand was pulled away and up over Alex's shoulder.

"This isn't about me Kid this is all about you"

Alex crashed their lips together fiercely and this time Piper willingly surrendered winding both arms around Alex's neck she allowed Alex to deepen the kiss. When Alex finally pulled back Piper was breathless her chest heaving, her nipples straining with need. Alex ran a hand from her face down her shoulders, caressing her breasts, running over her stomach before she cupped Pipers sex hard and Piper groaned already being able to feel the heat that had built between her legs, she knew she was becoming wet and she shivered. Alex smiled coyly at her before she pushed Piper back and moved settling herself on the bed up against the headboard. Reaching under the covers Piper ran a tongue over her dry lips as Alex pulled out a new black silicon toy and attached it to the harness securely around her hips. Although Piper knew this had been the plan since she first caught sight of the leather harness her pussy throbbed at the sight of Alex sporting the appendage and she almost groaned aloud. Piper loved it when Alex strapped on in the bedroom but it was something that they didn't do very often. Piper knew it was because Alex was slightly uneasy at how much she enjoyed being fucked in that way. No matter how many times Piper tried to reassure Alex that it wasn't because she missed the act of sex with a man Alex was still slightly hesitant. No the reason Piper loved it so much was for the pure power and dominance that Alex asserted when she used it that made Piper weak at the knees.

"Are you going to stand there and stare all night or are you going to come over here and let me fuck you from behind?"

Feeling the stickiness between her thighs was enough to force Pipers body to move but she shook her head as Alex went to position herself so that she could spoon her.

"No don't move I want to ride you, I want to see your face as you fuck me"

Piper blushed slightly at her words but she needn't have worried Alex shot her a look of pure lust and moved determinedly settling herself back up against the pillows one hand coming up to curl a finger in her direction.

"Get over here"

Piper clambered up on to the bed and straddled Alex's legs coming to rest on her haunches. Alex's hands settled warmly onto her thighs squeezing her muscles tightly as Piper could feel them trembling with anticipation. One hand moved grasping at the silicon and Piper's eyes slid shut as Alex slid the toy up and down her pussy lips.

"Is that making you wet?"

"... Dripping"

Piper's breath hitched as she moaned and her body almost involuntarily began to bear down onto the thick toy desperate for more contact. Alex kept her firmly were she was though as she continued to tease her with her slow strokes occasionally she would bump into her clit and Piper found she couldn't stand the teasing any longer.

"Please Al..."

"Please what?"

Piper groaned at the smirking face of her lover and she palmed at Alex's breasts roughly.

"You know what I want, please I need you to make me cum"

Alex chuckled wickedly and Piper threw her head backwards as Alex's hips thrust upwards impaling her body onto the thick toy. It was wide and long stretching her fully and she swore she could feel the tip resting up against cervix. Alex stilled her movements giving her time to adjust and Piper shifted her hips slightly to accommodate the toy more comfortably grabbing Alex's shoulders for support as she did. Still Alex did not move and Piper could feel herself becoming impatient. Trying to rock her hips Piper felt Alex's hands tighten on her thighs and she found she could not move even an inch. Piper groaned and looked at Alex, frowning at the cocky smirk that adorned her lover's face.

"Al..."

Piper whined as she shuddered her body desperate for friction, to move, being filled so completely felt wonderful but she needed more.

"Do you want me to love you Piper soft and gently or shall I fuck you deep and hard like I know your pussy's begging for my dirty girl?"

A rush of warmth ran across her skin and settled deep in the pit of her stomach as though Alex had set her body alight with her words. Piper just moaned and tried desperately to rock her hips forward but Alex was unrelenting.

"Tell me what you want Piper"

Alex wrapped one arm around her body holding her still while the other hand inched up her thigh until her finger tips grazed across her clit.

"Fuck Alex ..."

"You're going to have to beg me Piper"

The gentle stroking of her clit was driving Piper wild but she needed more so much more and for once she was not embarrassed at how easily she gave in to Alex and her demands.

"Please Al, please fuck I need you to move"

Alex pressed her fingers harder and Piper almost cried she could feel her arousal seeping between her legs covering the toy it was almost cruel how much Alex was pushing her nerves to the brink but denying her what she really wanted.

"Please Al ... Fuck me ... Fuck me hard"

Alex pulled her head downwards and crashed her lips to Piper's kissing her throughly leaving no part of her mouth untouched by her probing tongue. Just as Piper felt like she would cry if Alex didn't move soon Alex grabbed hold of her hips and began to move her hips upwards in short sharp thrusts.

"Oh ... Jesus ... Alex"

Piper let her eyes slide shut as she began to ride the toy hard her pussy already beginning to clench and flutter. It felt so good was hitting all the right spots inside of her that she could already begin to feel her orgasm beginning to build deep in her stomach. She forced her eyes open and at the look of pure animalistic desire across Alex's face she moaned aloud. Her legs began to quiver and she struggled to move her limbs her body beginning to sag forward as her trembling arms struggled to hold her body upright.

"That feel good Pipes me fucking you this way"

"Yes... Fuck Al I need ..."

Piper gasped and moaned struggling to speak her body desperate for release, Alex grunted and thrust up harder tightening her hold on her hips pulling her body closer. Alex thrust wildly and Piper could barely form a coherent thought as her orgasm began to build ferociously.

"Pipes open your eyes and look at me"

Piper tried but she couldn't too close to the release she desperately needed Alex though was not to be ignored and she stopped in her movements causing Piper to moan in desperation.

"Am I forgiven?"

Piper nodded hurriedly and crashed her lips to Alex's letting the words tumble from her mouth in a frenzied rush.

"Yes, God yes, now please, please let me cum"

"I love you Kid"

"I ... Love ... You ... Fuck!"

Piper's mouth formed a perfect O as she moaned and she clung on to Alex as if her life depended on it as Alex thrust harshly over and over. The room echoed with the sound of flesh meeting flesh and as Alex brought her fingers back to her clit stroking the hardened nub in time with her thrusts Piper felt her stomach begin to coil.

"I'm coming... fuck Al... I'm coming"

With one last harsh thrust Piper fell apart a loud groan fell from her lips and her body arched, her hips jerking and spasming as she rode out the waves of her powerful orgasm. Her body went completely slack and she was lucky Alex caught her in her arms as she fell otherwise they would have butted heads. For a moment Piper could do nothing but pant wildly trying to still her breathing and calm her racing heart. Once she felt like she had successfully calmed down she began to chuckle and she pressed a kiss to Alex's neck.

"I'm going to fall out with you more often"

Alex chuckled hoarsely and she pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek as Piper pulled her head back so she could look into deep green eyes.

"Well at least I know exactly what to do to make you come around"

Piper laughed gently "I wasn't really angry with you Al I was just frustrated and trying to make a point. I know you are only trying to do what you think is best but sometimes I wish you would listen to me"

Alex nodded her face serious and Piper kissed her lovingly.

"I know Kid and I am sorry for not telling you why I wanted to come to your meeting. I know you're going to be great though and I don't want you missing out"

Piper could understand that and deep down she was incredibly excited at being able to talk about her novels with the people who had made them successful.

"Just next time a heads up would be nice and then I'm not blind sided thinking you don't care about my opinions"

Alex nodded and Piper sat upright smiling down at her lover she shifted her hips slightly still feeling the toy pressed deep inside of her. Alex's hands wandered up to her breasts and began to pull at her nipples gently smirking as they began to harder once more and Piper let her own hands mimic their actions smirking as Alex's breath hitched slightly.

"Ok I'm listening now what do you want me to do now?"

At Alex's heated words Piper's body shuddered and she felt her body begin to tingle with want.

"This time I want you to make love to me"

Alex flipped them over keeping the toy buried deep inside of her never breaking her hold. Looking deep into Piper's eyes Alex flexed her hips causing Piper to groan and Alex to smiled at her adoringly.

"Now that I can do"

 **A.N Phew (fans face) ... would love to hear your thoughts :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**A.N Well everybody I think we are now nearing the end of this story, unfortunately I have another exam to take and I don't want this tale to become an unfinished piece because I just don't think I'll be able to dedicate enough time to continue on like I had originally hoped. I hope you enjoy this chapter, there will be a couple more after this one I think to tie up loose ends and I really hope you stay with me right until the last moment!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _"Hey love it's me, call me when you get this, love you"_

 _"Hey me again are you getting my texts? If so it's not like you to leave me hanging Miss Vause! My nerves are all over the place this morning so give me a call when you can, love you"_

 _"Al can you ring me soon please? Just sat waiting for James to finally come and collect me for the book signing. Hopefully speak soon"_

 _"Nicky its Piper, can you call me back when you get this? Please, I can't get through to Alex and I just want to make sure everything went alright with the consultant"_

 _"Alex can you ring me as soon as you can please? I've got to go into a meet and greet soon and I really wanted to speak with you before I left"_

 _"Hi Daddy I can't seem to get through to your phone when you hear this message can you call me back please? Thanks"_

 _"Alex please call me back I know I'm fussing but I can't help it I'm worried please?"_

Piper fell back heavily onto the hotel bed and struggled to tamper down her fear. She was currently in Chicago on the third day of her promotional tour and she was a bag of nerves. Alex's results had been delayed and now she found herself in the situation she had desperately hoped she would avoid. Alone away from home and waiting for news that could potentially change their lives missing Alex to the point of distraction. Piper had been furious when Dan had called Alex announcing the delay everything had been signed, she couldn't back out of the promotions tour without breaking her contract and the monetary implication had been to great to ignore. Alex had been incredibly sheepish in the days running up to her leaving knowing it was down to her insistence that she now had to go and Piper had struggled against the urge to rage at her. She had been beginning to really look forward to her tour but now it was marred with the figurative black cloud that was hanging over her head and today her stomach was in knots.

Alex should have received the results at 11 this morning it was now half past one her time and she had still not heard anything she was only an hour behind New York and she had hoped to have heard something by now. Nobody was answering their phones she had tried Alex, Nicky, her dad even the consultants office and she was now beginning to panic. Piper had thrown herself into the book signing this morning trying to push her nerves to the back of her mind it had worked and she had managed to appear normal and engaged to the adoring fans that had waited patiently to meet her. She had one more interview this afternoon and then she was done for the day and Piper didn't know what to do with herself. Dialling Alex's number one more time Piper groaned aloud when it went straight to voicemail and she cancelled the call this time without leaving a message.

A knock sounded on her door and Piper stood up wearily, checking through the spy hole she relaxed when she saw it was her minder. Opening the door she smiled hesitantly at the young man who had been assigned to look after her while she was travelling. James had been a god send a young trainee he was helpful and courteous and she enjoyed his easy going demeanour. She had been relieved when she had met him pleased that one of the stuffy uptight publishing agents had not been assigned to accompany her.

"Hello Miss Chapman"

"Hi James do we need to leave soon?"

He nodded and Piper set about gathering her belongings and placing them into her handbag. She checked her phone one last time letting out a small sigh when it showed no messages before she placed it into her bag.

"Still no news?"

James looked at her sympathetically as Piper shook her head. She had been stressed and snappy when they had began in New York for the first interview and James had bore the brunt of her frustration. After explaining her situation the young helper had been supportive and sympathetic and she found he was trying to make the whole process run as smoothly as possible and for that she was grateful.

"Alex has probably been delayed you know what they're like in hospitals they have you waiting around for hours!"

Piper tried to smile as she nodded but she couldn't Dan was her father's friend and being paid a lot of money there is no way he would leave Alex waiting for hours on end not when he knew how important this was to the both of them.

"If you leave me with your phone I'll answer it if it rings and let you know any news as soon as I can. That way you don't have to worry about missing the important call"

Piper smiled at him gratefully he was trying and for that she couldn't thank him enough. Handing her phone to James she pulled her bag over her shoulder and waited patiently as he excused himself to take a call.

"Right our car's here shall we go?"

Piper took a deep breath and tried to relax they were on their way to do a radio interview and she needed to relax. Just before she left she sent up a silent prayer hoping that she would receive the call she was waiting for before she returned to the hotel that evening.

* * *

"The next flight to Chicago leaves in an hour shall I book you a seat?"

Alex nodded to the cheerful airline receptionist at the check in desk and reached for her credit card once the flight was booked and she had been checked in Alex turned to Nicky her stomach churning with nerves.

"It's all gonna be ok Vause once you see Chapman everything will be fine"

Alex smiled shakily and she gave Nicky a one armed hug.

"Thanks for everything today Nic I honestly don't think I could have got through it alone"

Nicky cleared her throat and she clutched Alex's shoulders tightly for a brief few moments before she pushed her away chuckling.

"Alright Stretch steady on we've had enough emotional moments today to last us a lifetime"

Alex smiled and wiped at her eyes and she hitched her bag up on to her shoulder so that it was secured firmly.

"I'm going to have to go Nic"

"Alright, listen are you going to be ok on your own and don't shout at me for asking"

Alex nodded her face serious and she kept her face neutral as Nicky scrutinised her.

"Ok then off you go and don't worry my phone is still firmly switched off to one Piper Chapman I won't be breaking any news to your fiancée anytime soon"

"Thanks Nic I just, well I just need to tell her to her face I don't want her hearing this over the phone. Can you let Bill know I managed to get a flight and ask him to keep rejecting Piper's calls until he hears from me as well?"

Bill wasn't particularly happy with her plan but after much begging on Alex's part he had reluctantly agreed not to answer any calls from his only daughter.

"Alright but text me the minute you have spoken to her ok? I'll be waiting"

Alex nodded and gave Nicky one last hug before she made her way through security and to the gate to board her flight. Once she was settled in her seat Alex felt her nerves reappear although she tried hard to push them away. She hoped Piper wouldn't be too mad at Alex's decision at making her wait for the news that had and would change their lives but she really wanted, no needed to hold Piper in her arms. The planes engine roared into life and Alex put her headphones into her ears and tried to get comfortable for the two hour flight she was now undertaking to see her love.

* * *

"Darling I'm sure everything was fine she's probably just still stuck sorting paperwork at the hospital. Alex will be in contact as soon as she can"

Piper nodded trying to take comfort in her mother's words that were given to her almost offhandedly but she was trying to be grateful that for once her mother had actually listened to her worries and not immediately discounted her concerns.

"Anyway enough about Alex how's the tour coming along?"

Piper rolled her eyes and struggled not to snap at her mother for her scathing dismissal of her fiancée instead she took a deep breath and tried to answer calmly.

"It's going well mum I've just finished a radio interview then tomorrow it's another meet and greet at one of the department stores"

"Oh darling how wonderful! It's so great to be able to tell people what you do now that you're becoming so successful. At least your professional life is coming on leaps and bounds"

Piper bit down on her lip and just hummed in reply repeating the mantra in her head that her mother would never change and that she didn't really want to kill her. Eventually the urge to physically harm her mother passed and Piper forced herself to concentrate on her mother's words which were still echoing out of her phone.

"Sorry what was that?"

"I was just saying I cannot believe Cal is still intent on having a wedding in the woods like some sort of hillbilly! At least Danny had the good grace and sense to have a normal affair that was not going to be the laughing stock of the town. Honestly sometimes I wonder what we did wrong with you and Cal"

"There's nothing wrong with me or Cal"

Piper's voice was cool as ice, her tone warning but Carol just tittered into the phone "Oh darling you know I don't mean it horribly I just worry that you're making the wrong decision in life"

"Can't you just be happy knowing that I'm happy? I love Alex and I'm going to spend the rest of my life being happy with her"

"Hmm, well for as long as she's got I suppose"

Her mother's words cut her deeply playing on her already worried mind and Piper bit her lip against the urge to cry.

"That's not fair Mum"

Although the tears had been successfully kept at bay she couldn't stop the tremble in her voice and she immediately winced hating that her mother could cause her this much hurt with just a few ill thought words.

"Oh Piper don't cry I didn't mean it I'm sure you will receive the news you are hoping for"

Carol's tone was dismissive as though Piper's worries were trivial and unjustified. The tears banished at hearing her mother's callousness and instead Piper could feel her temper begin to rapidly bubble under the surface.

"I've got to go mother I'll speak to you soon"

"Piper I'm s-"

Piper ended the call and brought her hands up to her mouth holding in the urge to scream she let herself fall back into the chair in the radio station reception room and tried to wait patiently for James to return. Checking the phone in her hand once again she clenched her fingers around the hard plastic tightly when the display still showed no missed calls or messages. Taking a deep breath she let her head fall back and tried to will away the frustration from speaking with her mother. Carol Chapman had managed to drag her biggest fear to the forefront of her mind and now she was alone stressed and desperately struggling to push that awful fear away.

* * *

The seatbelt light flicked on over her head and Alex reluctantly took out her headphones and fastened her seatbelt securely. Flying had never really been her thing even with the numerous trips she had taken by in her drug smuggling days she still did not find it particularly enjoyable, even more so, without Piper by her side. Piper always laughed at her uneasiness telling her she was being daft and had nothing to worry about while grinning at her, her own excitement shining brightly. Even when they had taken their first trip after being released from Litchfield Piper had still been childlike in her wonder when they had boarded that first flight from New York and Alex had almost laughed at how, in some ways, even after so many years Piper hadn't changed at all. She still insisted on sitting in the window seat something which Alex happily complied with. during take off and landings Alex kept her eyes firmly shut not wanting to see the plane leave or arrive on the tarmac runways. Piper however always had her face pressed to the window talking a mile a minute about which sights she could see and trying unsuccessfully to get Alex to take a look. If they hit turbulence Alex's hand always automatically sought out Piper's and her love would always smile sympathetically and squeeze her hand reassuringly, any previous teasing falling away. She would distract her reciting passages from books or poetry until the motion passed and Alex's nerves had eased.

Alex could feel the plane slowly descending and she closed her eyes tightly wishing her blonde haired love was sat by her side her head resting on her shoulder as she cuddled into her. Alex felt a well of emotion build in her chest her arms aching with the need to wrap Piper into a tight embrace. Even though it had only been three days Alex had struggled being apart from Piper especially with the appointment looming and she had found it really difficult going to sleep alone in what she now knew as their bed. Each night Alex had phoned Piper and asked about her day they had chatted and laughed until Piper had started to yawn betraying her tiredness. Piper was always reluctant to put the phone down and so each night Alex had read to her over the phone until the gentle snores of her love had made her smile warmly and she had whispered good night before hanging up and settling down herself. After today and the emotional roller coaster she had endured Alex just needed Piper nothing else was going to soothe her frazzled nerves and she found herself feeling almost sick with impatience.

Lost in her thoughts Alex snapped her eyes open as someone opened the luggage locker over her head and she unbuckled herself and stood up quickly slightly disorientated when she realised they had already landed. Throwing her bag over her shoulder Alex as quickly as she could with one crutch made her way of the plane and into the airport terminal turning her phone off flight mode as she did. Quickly she googled the phone number of the hotel Piper was staying in and brought the phone up to her ear. Alex had a plan and she only hoped it would be appreciated.

* * *

"Ms Chapman are you ready to go?"

Piper nodded tiredly but she smiled as James watched her nervously "James I've told you call me Piper"

"I know Ms Chapman"

Piper just laughed as she followed her assistant out to the car and she quickly slid her aching body across the leather seats and settled by the window. James inclined his head to the driver and they set off through the busy streets Piper watching the world pass her by not really taking in the sights she would usually be so interested in seeing.

"Did you hear from Alex?"

Piper shook her head sadly glad when James did not continue she really did not want to talk not after the conversation with her mother. All she wanted to do was get back to her hotel room, curl up under the duvet and let out the tears that had been threatening to escape all day.

When they arrived in the hotel foyer the receptionist gestured them over and Piper tiredly fixed a smile on her face as the receptionist gestured to them warmly.

"Miss Chapman I'm so sorry but we've had a complication with your room"

Piper felt her stomach drop but she kept the fake smile firmly in place across her cheeks trying not to take her days stress out on the poor unsuspecting woman in front of her who was just trying to do her job.

"We have packed up your things and taken them to room 401 I apologise for the inconvenience"

Piper nodded accepted the offered keycard, said thanks through gritted teeth and stalked towards the lift stabbing angrily at the button.

"Ms Chapman I'll be here at 10 tomorrow morning we need to be at Warehouse for 11 so that we have plenty of time to get organised"

"Thanks James"

Th young man smiled at her softly as she stepped into the lift.

"I hope you hear from Alex soon Ms Chapman"

Piper's smile faltered and she was glad when the lift doors closed. For a moment in the privacy of the lift she let her facade crumble and the tears build in her eyes. She wanted Alex so badly it was burning like an ache deep inside of her all she wanted was to wrap herself in the long arms of her love. Shaking her head she reasoned she was being stupid she had only been gone three days and there was plenty of reasons nobody had phoned her yet. Even if in that moment none of those reasons were making an appearance to soothe her nerves. The lift reached its intended floor and as the doors opened Piper strode determinedly forward thanking an old couple who stepped to the side letting her pass. Heading down the long corridor Piper finally came to room 401 and she hitched her bag onto her shoulder as she slid her key card into the door. Thankfully the door opened instantly and she practically fell across the threshold the days tiredness catching up with her.

Piper let out a gasp of surprise as she opened her eyes fully surveying the sight in front of her. The room was beautiful it was obviously a superior suite the bed was an ornate king sized four poster bed and Piper let out a contended sigh she could hardly wait to sink into its comforting depths. Slowly she placed her bag down onto the vintage dressing table and slipped off her shoes. Walking over to the window Piper marvelled at the view she could see the bright lights of the city, the skyline a view to die for and she let out a smile at least she had received some good fortune today. So engrossed she didn't hear the bathroom door click open and the first she knew she was no longer alone was when her favourite husky tones whispered down her ear.

"You enjoying the view Kid?"

Piper froze, her muscles tensing, firmly believing her mind was playing tricks on her. Slowly she turned around and when her eyes took in the sight of her dark haired lover grinning at her widely she let out a girlish squeal.

"Alex!"

Alex laughed loudly as Piper threw herself into her lover's arms squeezing her tightly while she nuzzled into Alex's neck the tension in her body easing at the familiar comforting scent.

"Oh my god Alex what, I mean, how-"

Alex chuckled and pressed a kiss to her lips effectively cutting off her rambling. Piper hummed contentedly into the kiss until her brain began to race a mile a minute and she found that her blood ran cold. Pulling back so that she could see Alex's face Piper kept a tight hold of Alex's shoulders the emotion beginning to build in her throat almost suffocating her.

"What's the matter?"

"I know why you're here..."

Piper's voice trailed off as her voice welled with emotion she could feel the tears pricking her ears the urge to sob rising in her throat. Before she had left for her trip Alex had said if the results weren't positive she would join her on her promotional whirlwind so that they did not waste a second of their remaining time together. Having Alex in her arms now brought that reality crashing into her and she searched Alex's gorgeous green eyes for confirmation that she was right.

Alex lifted her hand and wiped at the tear that had managed to escape its confines before she cupped Piper's chin with her hand and smiled gently her whole face relaxing.

"I've got the all clear Kid"

Piper just stared at her in shock, she heard the words that were spoken, her ears registering the noise but her brain couldn't make sense of the words that were not what she was expecting.

"The surgery, the radiotherapy it worked there are no more cancer cells lurking in my brain or anywhere else"

Alex pressed her lips to her forehead, her nose then her lips.

"I'm yours for as long as you'll have me"

This time when the tears fell they were ones of pure joy and Piper laughed loudly the relief that washed over her body temporarily overwhelming her.

"I love you, oh Alex I love you so much"

"I know Pipes, I love you too"

Tears fell steadily down her cheeks she felt completely overwhelmed with happiness and she watched in adoration as Alex smiled gently and wiped at her cheeks.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone this morning"

"I tried Nicky and my dad too"

Alex smiled sheepishly "I told them not to answer I wanted to tell you face to face you deserved that Kid"

"I've missed you so much" Piper blushed at the admission she felt silly saying it aloud it had only been three days and she knew Alex would scoff.

Surprisingly Alex said nothing she cupped her cheek and smiled at her softly her eyes crinkling.

"I've missed you too Pipes sleeping in that bed on my own isn't nice I won't be making a habit of it if I have my way"

Piper smiled hopefully at Alex as she took in her words "Does that mean you're staying with me?"

"Hell yes who do you think organised the fancy room upgrade" Alex winked and Piper laughed before her face became serious once more "I'm going to travel with you while you finish your book tour my physical rehab only starts again in 2 weeks so I'm as free as a bird until then"

"I feel like I just want to scream"

Alex looked at her curiously and Piper grinned widely "Honestly Al I'm just so fucking happy"

Alex smiled at her words and pressed a kiss to her lips causing Piper to him with pleasure. When they finally broke apart Alex quirked her eyebrow and smirked.

"Shall we go test out the jacuzzi bath tub have a little relaxing celebration?"

Piper moaned in delight and allowed herself to be dragged into the bathroom her earlier tiredness disappearing entirely at the thought of a hot bath with one naked Alex Vause.

 **A.N Alex Vause is a fighter if anyone was going to take on that bitch of a disease and win it had to be her. I hope the outcome has pleased you all :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A.N Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter i'm super grateful and I'm glad you are pleased that Alex is going to be fine!**

"It's so good to see you darling!"

Piper leapt forward and wrapped her arms eagerly around her father's shoulders pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek. It had been almost four weeks since she had seen her father and she found she had missed him the familiar smell of his aftershave relaxing her tired mind.

"I've missed you too Daddy"

"Would you like a coffee sweetheart?"

"Oh yes please I've been waiting all day for something other than instant rubbish!"

Bill made his way into the kitchen and smiled gently before he looked from the door to Piper one eyebrow raising curiously.

"Alex not with you?"

"No I've just dropped her off home before heading here she's exhausted the flight took it out of her so it will do her good to have a rest"

Bill nodded looking slightly put out and Piper smiled pleased that her father cared for Alex enough that her presence was automatically missed.

"Did you enjoy your tour?"

Piper sat down onto the couch nodding and she eagerly launched into a detailed description of her 3 week tour, the places she had visited and the different venues she had met her fans. It had been slightly overwhelming to meet so many people who had actually taken the time out to come and speak to her and have their novels signed. Piper had been grateful for Alex's support over the last couple of days as the gruelling schedule had begun to take its toll and she had never been happier that Alex had decided to join her.

"So you're becoming quite famous in the literary world then"

Piper blushed and half heartedly shrugged her shoulders and her father laughed at her embarrassment.

"You should be proud!"

"That's what Alex keeps telling me"

"Well obviously Alex and I are talking sense you should listen to us more often!"

Piper rolled her eyes as Bill laughed and she eagerly took the steaming mug of coffee and into her hands. They sat in comfortable silence until she couldn't hold back her curiosity or the words she had wanted to say since she had arrived at her old flat.

"So how come you're staying here and not at home?"

Piper watched keenly as her father shuffled uncomfortably in his chair his gaze averted so that he wasn't meeting her eyes.

"Daddy..."

"Me and your mother have decided to take a break for a few weeks"

Piper sighed and placed her mug on to the coffee table in front of her as she tried to stop the worry building in her stomach.

"I hope it isn't permanent but at the moment we need some time apart from one another otherwise the arguments are just going to continue and it just cannot go on any longer"

"How long have you been planning this?"

Bill stood up from his chair and came to settle next to Piper on the couch and placed a comforting hand on her knee squeezing gentle.

"I've not been happy for a while Piper but I don't want to just throw in the towel. Me and your mother have been together far to long to not try and work through this rough patch we seem to be having"

Piper nodded mutely trying not to become too upset at the news she did not want to make her father feel guilty for something he obviously needed to do for his own happiness.

"What does mum think about all this?"

Bill snorted and his face become clouded with anger.

"Your mother thinks we should just get a divorce and have done with it. She's already listed her demands and picked the furniture she's keeping apparently all I have to do is find a lawyer"

Piper felt her stomach sink but she was not surprised although her mother would abhor the thought of divorce she would also want everything to be done on her terms and this way she could come out on top calling the shots. This way she kept her control and did not come off as the woman to be pitied.

"Has she not spoken to you? I would have presumed she would have called?"

Piper shook her head "I last spoke to her on the day Alex received her results I was worried and stressed and I needed her to comfort me. As usual the conversation became less about me and my worries and more of how my life is still a source of embarrassment for her"

"I'm sorry Piper"

"What for? You do not need to apologise for mum. You have been nothing but supportive since I got with Alex Mum hates the fact that since I left prison our relationship has blossomed"

Bill smiled and pulled Piper into a loving embrace.

"I don't want you to become trapped in the middle of this darling no matter what the outcome is it will not change our relationship and I hope it does not impact the one you have with your mother"

Piper nodded half heartedly she knew her father meant well with his words but she knew ultimately this would not be easy for any of the family to process.

"Have you spoken to Cal?"

Bill nodded "He took the news rather well said as long as we were both happy he would support us in whatever decision we ultimately make"

"And Danny?"

Bill's face darkened and Piper knew just from the look on her father's face that her older brother had been less than supportive.

"He thinks at our age it would be ridiculous to divorce and that we just need to 'get over ourselves'"

Piper snorted loudly "Saint Danny the font of all knowledge, sometimes I wonder how far the stick up his arse has been truly shoved"

Bill laughed loudly and Piper giggled softly. They continued to drink their coffees each lost in their own thoughts until Bill's face brightened and Piper turned to face him curiously.

"Anyway enough about me, how about it eh Alex getting the all clear that's what we should be talking about"

Piper's whole being filled with happiness and the smile stretched widely across her face.

"I know I can scarcely believe it. After everything we have been through I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and it will have all been a big misunderstanding"

Bill smiled at her sympathetically but he took her hand in his own and smiled warmly.

"Darling you have no need to worry Alex is fit and healthy do not let your nerves ruin this. You can finally be happy don't waste it"

"I don't plan to I'm sorry I don't mean to sound like I'm being negative"

Piper smiled sheepishly and Bill chuckled before he started to smirk.

"So when's the wedding going to be?"

Piper rolled her eyes "There isn't going to be one"

"Well that's stupid have you seen you two? You are meant to be together"

"And we are, look we don't need to get married we are happy just as we are now" Piper's finger rubbed at her engagement ring, back and forth across the metal band.

"But you want to"

Piper smiled hesitantly "I like the idea but the enormity of planning an actual wedding? No I don't like the thought of that and neither does Alex"

"Rubbish Alex loves you she would do anything to make you happy"

Piper nodded "Yes she would but I also love her and I know she's not bothered so we're just going to stay as we are"

Bill snorted "Well I think it's a waste of an opportunity"

Piper hushed her father softly while smiling she knew deep down he had always wanted to walk her down the aisle and she was certain his love and admiration for Alex had only increased that desire.

"So when's the third book being released then?"

"One month from today"

"Anymore promotion?"

Piper shook her head "No that's all for now but depending on how good sales are I may get the opportunity to do more interviews"

"I would hope you all ready know this by now but I'm going to say it again anyway, I'm so proud of you Piper"

Piper smiled broadly and pulled her dad into a hug feeling slightly overwhelmed.

"Thanks Daddy"

* * *

"Alright I'm fucking coming!"

Alex stalked angrily towards her flat door the incessant pounding not lessening with her shouts she flicked the lock and flung open the door trying to take some of the anger off her face. As soon as the door opened Nicky barrelled in almost knocking Alex of her crutch causing her to scowl darkly.

"Bloody hell Nichols calm the fuck down!"

Nicky prowled around the living room and Alex watched her curiously her hair was even wilder than usual. She looked stressed, exhausted even and she chewed furiously on her top lip looking like she had the weight of the worlds problems on her shoulders.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"Have you got anything to drink?"

Alex raised one eyebrow but at the pleading look on Nicky's face she nodded her head and made her way to the kitchen. Placing a glass on to the side Alex poured a decent measure of whisky and passed it over to Nicky who eagerly took the drink and downed it in one gulp.

Gesturing to the glass Alex sighed but she poured another watching worriedly as Nicky knocked back the second drink, Alex was certain, quicker than the first.

"Hit me again"

Alex screwed the top back onto the bottle and looked at Nicky her face firm.

"Not until you tell me what this is about?"

"Lorna's coming tomorrow"

Alex broke out a beaming smile and she clapped Nicky on the shoulder.

"That's brilliant news! Good for you!"

Nicky shook her head and reached her hand out "Yeah fuckin' marvellous now pass me that scotch"

Alex moved the bottle out of Nicky's grasp and looked at her bemusedly "Surely this is a good thing"

Nicky nodded, smiled then her face became worried once more and she shook her head. Alex rolled her eyes and gestured to the couch. Once they were firmly settled she turned to look at Nicky her voice soft.

"What's the matter Nic?"

"I'm fuckin' scared, alright"

Nicky looked embarrassed as if she was admitting something stupid but Alex didn't laugh, seeing Nicky so unsure she didn't have the heart to tease her.

"It's going to be fine"

"Yeah and how the fuck do you know that?"

"Because I've seen the way Morello looks at you and you love her that's all she has ever wanted, someone to love her for who she is and that person is you"

Alex leant over and placed her hand on Nicky's shoulder giving a reassuring squeeze "You just need to stop worrying and be natural"

Nicky sighed and ran a hand through her wild mane making it stand up on end even more.

"Where's the Kid?"

Alex smirked at Nicky's words Piper and Nicky were similar in age but she had taken Alex's moniker for Piper and used it along with Chapman.

"Gone to see her dad he's moved into the flat while we've been away"

"Divorce on the cards?"

Alex shrugged grimacing "I'm not sure, she's been hiding it well but I know Piper's worried so I told her to go and speak with him"

Nicky went quiet again and Alex smiled at her reassuringly "It's going to be fine. Look why don't you and Morello come and have dinner with us at the end of this week? You know once she's settled in I know Pipes would love to see her" Alex started to laugh and Nicky looked at her curiously "She can help me with my wedding plan"

Nicky's face broke into a wide grin and she started to laugh "You'll regret that when she starts making pin boards detailing colour schemes"

"As long as you don't try and paste a picture of yourself in the middle as the groom I think I'll survive"

They both cracked up laughing until Nicky turned to Alex curiously "Have you decided on a destination then?"

"I'm thinking Mexico we can get married on the beach I'm not into the whole church thing and this way it's exactly what Pipes wants, small and intimate"

"Good plan Vause what are you going to do about witnesses? If your really going for the element of surprise you can always ask the hotel staff!"

Alex shook her head and smiled "Well I'm thinking Bill can come and give Piper away. I was hoping he and Carol would be there although now I'm not sure"

Nicky winced and Alex looked at her in agreement "I know I think there might be a spanner in the works with that one"

"Ah well if you need a stand in I could always make an appearance"

Nicky nudged her exaggeratedly laughing loudly but Alex didn't smile instead she turned to Nicky her face serious.

"Are you trying to flake out on me?"

Nicky looked at her like she had sprouted antlers and Alex rolled her eyes.

"You're my fucking 'best man' I expect you to be standing firmly at my side" Alex nudged her playfully "You know to stop me from making any stupid mistakes like saying the wrong name"

Nicky looked at her in shock her mouth practically hanging open and Alex waved a hand in front of her face as she continued to stare.

"Earth to Nichols you having a fucking stroke or something?"

Alex laughed but Nicky's face didn't change and she could feel herself losing patience "Nic I want you at my wedding get over it"

Nicky finally seemed to snap out of her stupor and she grinned while shoving Alex hard.

"Sorry I just can't believe you are being so thoughtful it's rather unsettling"

"Hey I'm thinking of number one I don't want Carol being my support bloody hell I can see the headlines now 'bride to be murders mother in law to be in wedding day showdown!'"

Alex scowled as Nicky laughed at her joking, well potential joke if Alex and Carol were left alone together for too long Alex wasn't certain they would both live to tell the tale.

"So I'm guessing you've not booked the trip yet?"

Alex shook her head "No I'm going to mention going on a beach holiday to Piper and then if she agrees I'll speak to Bill"

"Chapman Snr will be thrilled"

Alex chuckled she couldn't wait to tell Bill her plan, that thought led her to another and she grinned at Nicky "I've bought Piper a dress though!"

"And here was me thinking matching white bikinis were going to be the marital outfits!" Nicky guffawed and Alex rolled her eyes "Come on then show me"

"It hasn't arrived yet but I've got a picture"

Alex passed Nicky her phone and as she looked at the picture Nicky whistled through her teeth.

"Good choice Vause she's going to look stunning"

"Pipes always looks stunning"

"You fuckin' sap!"

"Oh fuck off you're just as fucking soft when it comes to Morello"

Nicky's face became worried once again and Alex snorted "Take that look of your face I thought we had decided it's all going to be fine"

Nicky grumbled "No you decided"

Not wanting Nicky to begin to worry Alex smiled "You should bring her to the wedding we can tell Piper were going on a couples holiday or something throw her off the scent"

Nicky looked dubious but Alex continued "I mean I know it's not bora bora but its as good as"

"You forgot the third bora"

Alex looked at Nicky as she laughed hysterically for a moment thinking her friend had finally gone mad. Once Nicky had stopped her giggling Alex just looked at her pointedly waiting for an answer.

"Don't get to ahead of yourself Vause lets see if we can survive as flatmates before I start inviting her as my plus one"

"Flatmates! Yeah right I give it a week before you've fucked her!"

Nicky tried to look offended but even she couldn't hold back the snort of laughter "I must admit I've missed that pussy"

"And there's the Nicky Nichols we know and love!"

* * *

"Darling what a lovely surprise!"

Piper rolled her eyes as her mother pulled her into an over enthusiastic hug kissing both her cheeks. Piper knew it was all for show as her mother looked around the coffee shop clearly wanting to people to notice her over the top welcome.

"I've just got back I thought it would be nice to catch up"

Carol's smile faltered slightly but she gestured for Piper to sit down.

"Ah yes of course the book tour I hope it was successful?"

"It was thank you. My publisher just called and said there has already been an increase in sales they're very pleased"

"I hope this means more money and stability for you especially while Alex isn't working"

Piper always marvelled at how her mother could always go from praising to cutting in mere seconds but she held her tongue instead going for a more practical approach.

"Alex is still the main earner in our household mother her job is extremely lucrative"

Piper made a point of flexing her hand as she spoke and Carols eyes widened almost comically as she caught sight of her diamond engagement ring. Piper did not comment on her reaction instead she continued to sip her coffee almost nonchalantly waiting for her mother to speak first.

"That seems to be a new addition"

"It was my Christmas present"

Piper beamed allowing her happiness to shine and she angled her hand so that the diamond glinted in the light.

"My my Alex has done well"

The words spoken sounded rather flat and Piper knew her mother was irritated at the fact that she was impressed.

"She has"

"So does this mean there will be a wedding after all?"

Piper just shrugged her shoulders gently and her mother's scathing tone "I don't know"

"Hmmm Alex never has seemed the traditional type"

"Actually it's me who's reluctant mother I would rather not have a circus wedding and with you and daddy the way you are at the moment a small affair may not be the most peaceful of endeavours"

Piper hadn't wanted to bring up the topic of her parents relationship in quite this manner but Carol's clear displeasure at the thought of her and Alex being married had irked her, rattling her temper.

"Me and your father are quite capable of being cordial darling the issues we are having are between us not the rest of the world"

"And would you actually wish to attend my wedding?"

Piper's tone was scathing but she couldn't help deep down being hurt at her mother's response all she wanted was her mother's love and respect.

"If it did not clash with anything else in my social diary I would be happy to attend"

Piper tried to mask the hurt at her mother's words knowing they would be the best she would receive but as she saw Carol's aloof expression falter she knew she hadn't been successful.

"Well you know there are certain appearances I just cannot afford to miss Piper you know how it is"

Piper nodded numbly unfortunately she knew all too well that her life and achievements would always have to take a back seat to Carol and her active social life.

"For example I couldn't possibly miss Gala night at the golf club as the women's team captain it would be an absolute no no for me not to attend"

"I understand Mother"

Piper averted her eyes to her mug fighting the tears that were threatening to make an appearance but she was shocked out of her sadness when her mother's hand rested tentatively on her own.

"I do care about your plans dear I know you love Alex and I'm trying to be happy for you I really am"

"I know and really we're getting carried away with wedding talks we have no plans to tie the knot so there's no use stressing over something that more than likely will never happen!"

* * *

"How do you feel about a holiday?"

Piper turned her head in Alex's lap and looked at her curiously her eyes heavy with sleep the iPod was playing softly in the background as Alex had softly stroked her hand through Piper's blonde locks and Alex knew from Piper's expression that the action had almost lulled her to sleep.

"Hmmm I could do with a break"

"Well how does me, you and a beach in Mexico doing?"

Piper's face lit up and Alex almost laughed at the childlike glee that spread across her fiancee's expression.

"That sounds bloody wonderful"

Alex leant forwards and pressed a kiss to Piper's lips smiling as Piper hummed appreciatively "Good because I booked it this afternoon"

"Alex!"

Piper bolted upwards and Alex laughed hard at the incredulous look before Piper pouted trying to hard not to smile.

"What? You've just said you need a break"

"I know but what if I hadn't wanted to go"

Alex snorted and pushed Piper back down into her lap wrapping her arm around Piper more firmly.

"Like you would have ever said no to two weeks in the sun with the one and only Alex Vause!"

Piper rolled her eyes playfully at Alex's teasing but she wrapped her slender fingers into Alex's own. Alex squeezed back instinctively clutching those fingers tightly feeling the love between them at the simple gesture.

"It's a good job I love you"

"Oh I know Kid"

Alex peered down at the love of her life wondering for the umpteenth time what on earth she had done to deserve this wonderful beautiful human being that was curled into her.

"I love you too"


	30. Chapter 30

**A.N Well here it is people my final chapter of this story. I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for reading, favouriting and posting your reviews. I've loved writing this story and I'm really proud that it is now complete. Thanks again for sticking with me I hope I will have time to write another story shortly (another angst filled tale most likely!) once I have completed my studying but until then I hope you enjoy this last chapter and goodbye for now!**

"God I'm exhausted!"

Piper threw herself down onto the king sized bed her arms and legs spread out like a windmill and Alex just laughed at her fiancee's tendency for over dramatics.

"Oh but surely it's worth it"

Piper rolled onto her back and grinned up at her the smile lighting her whole face, her eyes gleaming with happiness.

"It is, this place is fantastic Al!"

Alex whole heartedly agreed with that statement their room was gorgeous, beautifully furnished, overlooking the bright blue ocean the beach practically outside their front door. It had been money well spent purely for Piper's reaction when their taxi from the airport had finally arrived at the private villa's that stood at the edge of the ocean. It had cost her a small fortune her remaining savings practically nil but she had already planned to resume working once they returned home. Piper was now earning more money from her books than they had ever imagined and technically she didn't need to work but Alex didn't want to be a kept woman. Piper whole heartedly supported her decision and Alex was grateful, she had worried Piper would fret and fuss.

"Can we go down to the beach later?"

Alex nodded eagerly Piper had bought a new white bikini especially for this break and to say she looked good in it was an understatement. In fact Alex was already wondering how she was going to keep her hands off of her fiancée on the public beach.

"I can't believe we're staying here for 14 whole days"

Alex smiled if Piper knew what was really planned for this week Alex was pretty certain her fiancée would combust with happiness judging by her current expression. Today was Wednesday on Saturday they were getting married then having the remaining 10 as their honeymoon. With the addition of Lorna, Nicky along with Bill, Cal and Neri Alex knew they would have a fantastic time.

"What's that smile for?"

Shaking away the thoughts of the wedding Alex looked at Piper with one eyebrow raised allowing her gaze to turn heated as she took in the sight of Piper lying back into the pillows propped up by her elbows, her expression curious.

"You ... Now let's see how many times I can make you cum before we have to leave for lunch"

* * *

"Everything set then Vause?"

Alex turned to look through the patio doors smiling to herself as she took in Piper's beautiful naked form sprawled across the double bed half covered by the thin white sheet. Alex had worn her out, four orgasms later and Piper had literally passed out with exhaustion she had barely moved an inch since soft snores emitting from her swollen lips. As soon as Alex had heard her phone ringing she had jumped up from the bed as quickly as she could and made her way outside not wanting to disturb her love.

"Vause you there?"

Alex was snapped from her musings by the irate voice in her ear and she chuckled replying to her impatient friend.

"Yeah I'm here"

"Right well this call ain't cheap so stop ogling your naked fiancée and tell me the plan"

"How do you know Piper's naked?"

Nicky snorted "Please, you've just arrived at your stunning holiday destination I know the first thing I'd be doing if it was me and it certainly wouldn't be unpacking. Plus I can't hear Chapman and I don't think you would have been able to slope off away from her so I reckon she's passed out face down in the bed while you're chit chatting with me"

Alex was stunned "Well Nichols I'm not certain whether I should be impressed or freaked out. You've not got a hidden camera here have you?"

"So I'm right then" Nicky's voice was irritatingly smug "How many orgasms did you give her?"

"I'm not even dignifying that with a response"

Nicky chuckled "So you flaked out after one?"

"No!"

"Two?"

"Fuck off! Now come on while you're too fucking stingy to pay for idle chat why did you phone me?"

"A weather update what do you think?! Is everything set for the wedding of the year?"

Alex laughed as Nicky scoffed she could practically picture the rolling eyes of her wild haired friend.

"Yes it's all sorted are you all set to arrive Friday with Bill?"

"Oh there's been a little development in that area"

Alex frowned, her curiosity piqued "Oh how so?"

"We have had to make a few amendments"

Alex sighed irritated "Stop being coy and tell me, has something gone wrong? because heads will fucking roll if it has I want this to be perfect"

"Carol's coming"

Alex almost choked on thin air her mouth opening and shutting in shock. When she had informed Bill of her grand wedding plans he had been ecstatic barely able to contain his excitement but Carol had not been particularly thrilled when told. Alex knew it was a combination of displeasure at the fact that she and Piper were actually going to get married and disappointment that she wouldn't get to throw a big family affair for her only daughter. Alex had explained her reasonings, even stating it was what Piper wanted, but Carol had still been unenthusiastic and had not outwardly committed to attending Piper's special day.

"Vause?"

"Yes I'm still here ... I'm just in shock I think, I truly thought she had no intention of being here"

"I can imagine but just think how happy Chapman's gonna be. I know their relationship is strained but no bride wants to get married without their mother"

"Yeah I know"

Alex cursed herself for the pang of want that coursed through her body at Nicky's words. She tried to reason that it was stupid her mother had been dead for years now but she couldn't help but wonder how Diane would have felt over her commitment phobic daughter getting married. Alex hoped that she would be happy for her especially considering she was marrying Piper. Diane had always had a soft spot for the bambi eyed blonde and Alex knew from the minute she took her home it wasn't just one Vause woman who was taken by Piper's charm albeit in different ways.

"Sorry Alex I didn't meant to upset you"

Nicky using her given name snapped her from her musings and she shook away the yearning for her mother clearing her throat as she did so.

"I'm fine honestly, I'm glad Carol's coming"

"It's all coming together Vause just like we planned .., roll on Saturday!"

Alex turned to look at her sleeping lover her heart swelling with happiness. Piper would be so thrilled and Alex felt Saturday couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

"You've got that look on your face?"

"What look?"

They had finished their meal in a local restaurant and were now walking along the beach back towards their villa. Piper's arm linked tightly with her own supporting some of her weight for which Alex was grateful for she only wanted to use her crutch if absolutely necessary. Their shoes had been discarded the cooling sand sticking between their toes as the waves lapped over their feet. Piper was smiling serenely and had been since they started walking in contented silence each of them happy just listening to the relaxing sound of the waves.

"Like you're thinking really sappy thoughts"

Piper pouted and shoved her playfully and Alex chuckled before she brought her arm across Piper's shoulders pulling her into to the crook of her body.

"I'm just so happy Al"

The honesty that shone in Piper's words and expression made Alex's heart skip a beat and she felt momentarily overwhelmed. Tightening her hold Alex ran her hand over her lover's side before she gave her a gentle squeeze.

"I know you think I'm a big softy but I just want you to know how happy I am being here with you"

"Well that's what the view of sunset on a gorgeous beach will do for you"

Piper tutted and scoffed but Alex just smiled at her warmly knowing she was cross at her teasing but couldn't stay mad with her for long.

"Do you have any regrets Al?"

The question sobered her Alex felt it was almost a trick question that whatever answer she gave wouldn't be right and she paused. As though sensing her hesitation Piper squeezed her gently around her middle. Trying to buy some time to think of how best to answer the loaded question Alex did what she did best and deflected.

"Do you?"

"No"

Alex raised one eyebrow shocked at the confident reply.

"Not even how our relationship turned out the first time?"

Piper shook her head "No I don't regret it, not anymore, not the travelling or the drug business without it we wouldn't be were we are today"

Piper smiled at her softly before her expression clouded slightly a look of pain ceasing her features and Alex raised her eyebrows in concern.

"Actually I do have one regret and that's leaving you the way I did in Paris. Yes there was no way then I could continue to be your girlfriend it was too much, the fear, the worry I couldn't have carried on the way we were but I should never have left that day, not after that phone call. If I could do it again I would have stayed, helped you organise Diane's funeral and provided you with my full support maybe not as your girlfriend but at least as your friend"

Alex nodded solemnly for a moment feeling sadness creep into her throat at the memory of that awful day and she pressed a kiss to Pipers hairline before she replied.

"I regret naming you, I didn't have to and it was a fuck you moment one that I've had to live with ever since"

"I'm glad you did"

Alex stopped dead and turned to look at Piper fully in the eyes, searching for any hint of untruth, completely stunned at her fiancée's response.

"You're glad I got you thrown in prison?"

"Yes"

Alex scoffed and shook her head "Why? Why on earth would you be glad after what you endured in that hell hole especially with Pensatucky and Kubra's man?!"

Piper just smiled, her serene expression hadn't faltered once during her impassioned rant and Alex was further taken aback when Piper pressed her lips to her own almost reverently.

"Why would I regret it? Yes I was incarcerated in that hell hole but it made me the person I am today. Before prison I was so self centred, a narcissist, living a life that was ultimately a lie all because I was afraid of who I truly was, too worried to upset my mother and her WASPY views"

Alex was taken aback with Pipers confession and she couldn't help but continue to argue although the words almost stuck in her throat the truth in them bringing back the awful memory of watching the woman she loved bleed out on a mouldy bathroom floor.

"You nearly died"

"It brought you back in my life"

The love shone in Piper's voice practically burning with conviction "I went into prison living a lie and I came out with the love of my life how can I feel anything other than at peace with your decision Al?"

Alex shook her head with disbelief and she cupped Piper's face in her warm hands leaning her forehead to Piper's own "Sometimes Piper Chapman I don't understand you"

"Do you regret getting back together with me at Litchfield?"

Alex scowled softly "No, no of course I don't I just wish Litchfield hadn't been the place that orchestrated our reunion"

"But it was. Sometimes I wonder whether we would have met at some other time and place because of how inevitable you feel to me. But then I think what's the point of wondering we're together now and that's all that matters to me"

Alex could feel her smile threatening to split her cheeks and she pulled Piper into a warm embrace as tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

"God I love you ... So much"

Alex felt Piper press her lips to her neck in a chaste kiss before she pulled back her eyes sparkling with mirth.

"I love you too ... Now look who's being a sap!"

* * *

Piper sighed heavily as she lay down on the double bed careful not to disturb the towel that was wrapped around her wet hair. Glancing at the clock she noted it was already half past 4 and she made a mental note to not allow herself to relax for too long. Alex had been gone for the last couple of hours and Piper was anxious to know what it was her dark haired lover was up to. When she had awoken that morning she had been treated to breakfast in bed followed by two amazing orgasms before it had even turned 10 o clock. Alex had informed her that she had some things to take care of which would mean she would be gone from early afternoon but that she would be back early evening with a surprise. Piper had pouted and whinged but Alex had not even given so much of a hint to what she had planned. Her phone buzzed on the night stand and she smiled as she read the message displayed on the screen.

'Kid, I hope you've had a relaxing bath now get your hair and make up done, no outfit... I've got a special delivery coming soon :) I love you Xx'

Piper smiled curiously as she read the text and a nervous excitement filled her stomach as her thoughts ran amock trying to imagine what Alex had planned. Humming softly to herself while smiling serenely Piper decided to carefully style her hair so that it fell down in soft curls framing her face. Keeping her makeup light and natural she smiled at her reflection in the mirror pleased with what she saw. She only hoped Alex would be impressed with the effort she had put in.

Just as she had finished there was a soft knock at the door and her stomach fluttered with excitement, as she guessed her surprise had arrived. Making sure her dressing gown was tightly secured around her body Piper opened the door hesitantly and as the person standing behind the door came into view Piper's stomach lurched and her mouth hung open in shock.

"Hello darling"

"Daddy?!"

Bill laughed loudly but Piper didn't move an inch still too stunned that her father was actually standing outside her Villa in Mexico as if he had just popped around to her place in New York.

"Are you going to let me in?"

Piper stood back from the door shaking her head as she did so. She was quickly pulled into a warm embrace and as her father's arms wrapped around her, her brain finally seemed to realise that this was not in fact a dream and was actually happening.

"What are you-.. Who are-.. No wait let's try that again. Why are you here?"

Piper stared bemusedly at her father he did not seem surprised at her reaction continuing to smile a smile so bright it could have lit up the room.

"Well I've been charged with delivering a very important gift"

Piper only now registered the large white box Bill was holding but she was not curious as to the contents she was more interested in why her father had made the five hour flight to be standing here in front of her.

"No Daddy why are you here in Mexico?"

"Well Alex asked me to come so I did, now take this box into your room and get ready I don't think you have long"

Her father's evasive answer did nothing to curb her curiosity but Piper reluctantly did as she was told. Once in the room Piper slowly placed the box onto the unmade bed, carefully she began to untie the ornate ribbon, feeling silly when she noticed her hands were shaking with excitement. Opening the lid Piper carefully pulled back the tissue paper immediately spying a small note bearing Alex's signature hand writing, each word carefully printed in neat block capitals.

'I really hope it fits ... You're going to look stunning, see you soon Kid. I love you Xx'

Not being able to contain herself any longer Piper ripped the tissue paper and pulled the garment from its box. Looking at the beautiful delicate white dress now held in front of her understanding suddenly dawned bright and clear and Piper felt her heart lurch and tears of happiness prick the corners of her eyes.

"No it can't be..."

"Yes, do you still want to become Mrs Vause?"

Bill had appeared in the doorway smiling at her softly and Piper struggled to hold back the tears a small sob escaping her lips as she rapidly blinked trying not to ruin her carefully applied makeup.

"More than anything"

Bill crossed the room and took her in his arms cuddling her tightly and Piper in that moment had never felt more loved her head struggling to come to terms with the fact that Alex had planned a surprise wedding all for her.

"I'm so happy for you darling and I'm so proud of Alex for planning this wonderful surprise"

"She's so amazing daddy"

Bill chuckled "That she is, now come on get dressed we have a wedding to get to!"

Bill headed towards the door and then he paused handing her a pair of white flip flops smiling when Piper frowned curiously "Oh and put these on you're going to need them!"

* * *

"Why do you look like you're going to pass out?"

Alex tried to smile at Nicky's teasing but she couldn't. She was nervous, unexplainably so, but it was causing her stomach to churn and her palms to sweat.

"You don't need to be worried Chapman's gonna love this"

Alex looked around taking in the wondrous sight of the sun slowly beginning to set hanging lower in the sky. The few select guests were sat in white chairs that had been placed in a line facing the white wooden arch entwined with flowers that Alex was now standing nervously under with Nicky by her side keeping her upright. The minister who would perform the service had already informed her of what to expect and was now patiently sat talking to Carol while they waited for Piper to appear. Alex looked at her silver wrist watch and sighed Piper was running late and although this was a common occurrence it was not helping Alex's sudden bout of nerves.

"Stop looking at the time she'll be here she's probably freaked out with excitement and Bill's calming her down as we speak save her running down the beach shrieking like some sort of escaped lunatic!"

Alex snorted laughing at the visual image Nicky's words conjured up and she smiled appreciatively at her friend.

"Thanks for being here Nic I don't think I could have done this without you"

"Course you could, granted it probably would have been a wedding in a chapel in Las Vegas with two hookers as your witnesses but hey it still would have been a wedding!"

Alex pulled Nicky into a warm one armed hug her gaze settling on the waves calmly lapping at the shore and she let the soothing sight calm her frazzled mind. Feeling Nicky tense in her arms she pulled back knowing how her friend felt about physical affection not wanting to prolong her torture. Seeing the look of awe and affection on Nicky's face she quirked an eyebrow "What?"

Nicky just nodded her head, her eyes sparkling "Why don't you turn around and see for yourself"

* * *

"What do you think?"

Piper stood hesitantly in front of her father the beautiful white dress fit her body perfectly it was simple yet elegant with a sweetheart neckline and ornate silver beading at the waist. She had loved it the moment she had seen her reflection in the mirror but she wanted a second opinion.

"Piper..."

Bill's voice caught in his throat and his eyes became misty as he smiled softly. Feeling her own tears beginning to build she shook her head at him gently.

"Don't you dare cry because then I'll cry and my make up will be ruined!"

Bill laughed and wiped at a couple of stray tears that had escaped there confines and made there way down his cheeks. He pulled her into his strong embrace before he leant back gently grasping her chin in his warm hands.

"You are breathtaking my darling I'm so proud of you, my little girl all grown up and it just makes me so happy"

"I can't believe Alex has done this for me"

"She loves you Piper, she loves you so much. When she told me of her intentions I was so excited I know how much it means to you and I know how much it means to Alex making you happy"

Bill pulled back and pressed a tissue into Piper's hand.

"Now dab at those eyes and follow me we are going to be late if we stand here nattering for much longer"

Piper gave a husky laugh her throat still thick with emotion but she did as she was told and followed her father as he made his way left out of the villa heading down the narrow trail towards the beach. As they rounded the corner Piper gasped her eyes filling up once more there perfectly situated on the beach front was a wedding arch the chairs around occupied by Lorna, Cal and Neri, the latter sporting a tiny baby bump and her mother.

"Daddy..."

"We all didn't want to miss your big day darling"

Piper's gaze was drawn once more to the wedding arch, first she noticed Nicky who was sporting the biggest grin she had ever seen and then her eyes fell onto the person she was supporting, the one person who meant more to Piper than anything else in her world. Alex looked radiant her gorgeous bright green eyes were full of emotion her beautiful smile on full display and Piper had to control the urge to just run and throw herself into Alex's arms. She too was sporting a white gown and Piper was certain she had never looked so beautiful and she was suddenly grateful for her father's steady hand on her arm as her knees went weak at the breathtaking sight. Tearing her gaze from her love trying to steady her emotions Piper caught her mother's eye and when she saw nothing but admiration and acceptance in her mother's gaze a fresh wave of emotion passed over her and a tear escaped running slowly down her cheek.

"It's all going to be fine"

Her father's warm words whispered in her ear and Piper turned to him smiling contentedly "I know"

As they reached were Alex was waiting patiently Bill took her hand and placed it into Alex's inclining his head as he did so and Piper smiled as Alex returned the gesture her face serious.

"Hi"

"Surprise"

Alex said the words softly almost hesitantly and Piper clutched the hands in her own tightly.

"Thank you, thank you so much for this. I can't even begin to imagine how much thought and care you've put in to organise this beautiful day"

Alex smiled at her softly before she winked in Nicky's direction "Oh you know it's been easy I've had help"

"It's all me this Chapman!"

Everyone laughed at Nicky's teasing including her mother and Piper felt a warm glow settle over her body as she looked around at her nearest and dearest.

"You'll never know how much this means to me, I love you so much"

Alex smiled broadly as the minister gestured to them softly that it was time to begin. Before he started however Alex lifted her hands to her face and Piper leant her head into the familiar touch.

"You are my reason for everything, I love you too more than I can ever put in into words"

As they turned towards the minister Piper let out a contented sigh and she thanked a god she didn't believe in for the woman that stood beside her. They had conquered more than she ever thought possible, a bitter break up, prison, cancer but still they had come through it stronger than ever and still firmly at each other's side and Piper in that moment wouldn't have changed a thing. If this was their reward for the hardships they had endured then she could accept the struggles they had been given and now she couldn't wait to begin the rest of their lives together as Mrs Alex Vause.


End file.
